captain-commander

Newcomers Pt2

Admiral Polts Personal journal.

It’s been about a week since the humans arrived and they now make up one third of our cerw, they have settled in well, almost too well as they have made this fleet and it’s ships their own. I have been doing research on them and although the reports are conflicting and sketchy they do all say that humans will change their environment to make it more suitable to them. Which is why the unused cargo hold is now something called a “puppy pen” and they are holding nightly events where they gather and play games about exploring a dungeon. They are also oddly easy to get along with, they take almost no offence when insults are thrown at them and if anything speak worse to one another. Their commander Captain Clerk assures me this is all natural that humans bring their home with them but will try to keep from taking over too much of the fleet.

So far the only race that has any problem with them are the Benemar, but the Humans have not risen to any challenge by them, not sure how long that will last.

On a side note I have orderd the fleet not to eat or drink the humans food, it.s just plain poisonous and how they manage to digest it is beyond me!!.

A number of humans were in the canteen eating a delicacy called “curry” a number of the other alien crew had tried some and apparently the sauce did not agree with them. It burned through one of their stomachs, luckily he survived. The third day of the human week was considered curry day and was sacred to them, along with “tacos” on the second day. Their meal was interrupted by sergeant Cathy calling for everyone’s attention.

“Excuse me everyone” the talking stopped and they looked over at her, she was clearly distressed.

“Has anyone seen Troy?”

“Your beagle?” asked another Human.

“Yeah, he isn’t in the puppy pen”

“Maybe someone took him for a walk?”

“I thought of that but he hasn’t been signed out”

All the Humans looked at each other and a silent agreement passed between them all as they all put down their food and left the canteen to go find Troy leaving a number of the non human crew alone.

“What’s a beagle?” Kio asked his mate.

After only one hour every Human on the ship was looking for him, they checked every vent, every cannon and every inch of the ship and were soon resorting to handing out picture of Troy asking if anyone had seen him. To the non Humans this behaviour was odd, this animal was not part of the crew or their squad yet every one of the Humans was distressed about it being missing.

Cathy found a number Benemar wrestling in the gym and approached them.

“Excuse me”

“Huh? A Human, what are you doing here?”

“I’m looking for my dog Troy, here’s a picture of him please let me know if you see him”

The Benemar clan leader took the picture and a smile crawled across his face, he handed it to the others who all mimicked his expression.

“We have seen this thing little Human”

“You have!!! Where?” she asked eagerly.

“Well you might have trouble finding him now” he laughed

“What?”

“We wanted to try Human food, this animal barley had any meat on him I don’t know why you keep them”

Cathy looked up at them her face blank, no emotion and her voice flat.

“You…ate him?”

“Yeah, I mean this creature makes a pitiful meal and cried the moment we picked it up, stupid animal”

“You…ate Troy?”

“You deaf yes, if you are looking for us to be sorry for eating your food, tough we are Benemar and our laws say only the strong eat”

“You…you….”

Cathy was shaking and her hands curling into fists, her face went from calm to rage in a single terrifying moment. “YOU ATE MY DOG!!!”

She lunged at him and proceeded to tear him apart.

Admiral Polt and Capitan Clerk sat opposite each other in Polt’s office, the silence between them was vast as Clerk had said something that Polt did not expect.

“Can you say that again please for the record” Polt asked.

“I believe Cathy’s reaction was justified” Clerk said with no uncertainty in his voice.

“She killed the Benemar clan leader, his chief is demanding justice”

“If he wants to try and get it he is free to, but in my eyes and my superiors she has done no wrong as under our law dogs are given the same basic rights as us”

“But it’s just as dog?”

“IT’S NOT JUST A—-” Clerk said slamming his hand down on the table but quickly calmed himself “It’s not just a dog, it is “A” dog”

Polt nearly fled the room when Clerk slammed his hand, after seeing what remained of the Benemar he had no desire to anger another Human.

“I loved that dog, we all did and love all the dogs we brought with us, for someone to…eat one is…”

“It’s okay I understand, I shall speak the chief”

“Thankyou” Clerk said leaving and Polt called the chief to his office.

“What do yo mean you are taking no action?” the chief screamed.

“By their laws sergeant Cathy has done no wrong and was well within her rights”

“She killed one of my clan leaders!”

“Rather impressive for a Human half his size don’t you think? You saw the body, do you really want to take this further? If so I’m sure Captain Clerk would be happy for you to”

“What was it about that animal that they hold so dear?”

“I’m, glad you asked” Polt said pulling out a small folder “i have been reading up on Humans for a few weeks now and there is an interesting bit about dogs I believe will help put this in perspective. They have co-existed and co-evolved for over 30.000 years. The bond between a Human and a Dog is so strong that no words need pass between them for each to know what the other wants. They have fought battles together and have made homes together and Humans care for their dogs as if they were their own children and dogs protect and serve the humans as they are a loving parent. No other race in the galaxy has a companion quite like the Humans have dogs, to belittle or harm their companions in any way will bring their full wrath down upon you”

Polt closed the book and looked at the Benemar chief who had said nothing, he left without saying another word to quickly tell his own warriors to leave these dogs alone.

Polt breathed, another crisis averted and he could move onto more pressing matters, like this Sergeant Stabby that was visiting next month and has all the Humans excited, he worried as to why.

So about those space orcs...

I’ve seen a lot of posts about humans pack-bonding with frankly everything, no matter how big, scary, threatening, lethal or oozy.

But you know what I haven’t seen?

Humans entrusting their young to their pack-bonded friends. Because that’s a thing we do. We entrust our children to our friends. We entrust our children to our dogs. We befriend the biggest, meanest, scariest shit, and then we dump our defenseless, hasn’t-even-got-a-fully-fused-skull-yet offspring on them. Half for shits-and-giggles, half because it’s cute, mostly because children are exhausting and we need a nanny.

Keep reading

Captain Hera Syndulla of the USS Ghost. Boldly going where no one has gone before.

Eren: Hey captain, why does Commander Nile always look constipated?

Levi: Hell if I know. Why?

Eren: Because. *whispers* He`s full of bullshit.

Levi: *laughs beautifully*

_________________________________________

Nile: This is why the Military Police is here to help you, we-

Eren: *whispers* Guess he took a laxative, `cause all the bullshit`s spewing out of him.

Levi: *Laughs and startles everyone at the meeting*

Nile: Ahem is there something to discuss? Cadet?

Eren: Nope. Just talking shit.

Levi: *falls out of his chair laughing*

Obi-Wan Kenobi: The Dashing Duke and Pirate Lord of Tatooine

This is for you @jerseytigermoth


“Obi-Wan Kenobi, know aliases Ben Kenobi, Ben Kryze, Old Man Kenobi, Obes Kenobes?”

The Jedi Master/Pirate/Rebellion General smiled at the befuddled expression on the Prosecutor’s face opposite of where he stood, hands cuffed and resting lightly on the bar in front of him. He chuckled. “Ah yes! That alias was given to me by a very lovely woman. She was quite nice.”

Shaking his head in a mix of confusion and disgust, the Prosecutor continued on. “Also known as Captain Kenobi, the Pirate Lord of Tatooine, High General Kenobi, the Dashing Duke and the Sass Master of Mandalore?”

“Is that all of them?” Obi-Wan asked. “Are you certain you haven’t missed any? That list seems a little short. Did you include the Scourge of the Outer Rim? Oh! For a while I was calling myself Arulas because someone thought it sounded cool.”

There was a snort from back in the gallery of criminals and a sullen, “It did sound cool.”

Flabbergasted the prosecutor tried to reassert his authority. “Your list of crimes against the galaxy are…”

“Ah! Rako Hardeen!” Obi-Wan nodded, reaching up to scratch his nose. “I knew you forgot one.”

The presiding judge banged his gavel and leaned forward, peering down at Obi-Wan. “That’s enough out of you, traitor! You’re far too old for such childish antics.”

“Quite right, your honor,” the Jedi Pirate Rebel nodded with great dignity. “Please continue, Tanver.”

The Prosecutor stammered out a puzzled, “What?! How… how did you know?!”

Winking, Obi-Wan replied. “Jedi Secrets. Also your name was included on my arrest documents. You have a most artistic signature, Counselor.”

There was a low-level snicker coming from the gallery and the Judge hammered his gavel.

“ORDER!”

“My apologies, your honor,” Obi-Wan smiled and turned to look back over his shoulders at the assembled criminals, hoodlums, rebels and pirates behind him. “Do be quiet, dear friends. Prosecutor Tanver Seabright is trying to charge me with grievous crimes against the Empire.”

Keep reading

Things I want to see in SWR Season 4:

🔱 Not-so-discreet references to the movies

🔱 That on screen Kanera kiss that hAS BEEN BUILDING UP FOR THREE SEASONS

🔱 Kallus’ full name pls

🔱 Rex + Cody name drops (so I can cry again)

🔱 More focus on the Mandalorians and  Sabine’s hot older bro like goddamn son where have you been this whole time

🔱 A H S O K A

🔱 JEDI TRAINING (I don’t care what the two of you say three years is not enough time)

🔱 (Okay even if it was enough time I still want the Master/Padawan bonding I will fight you over this)

🔱 That guy who narrated the beginning of all the CW episode like I don’t know how he’d fit in but I need it

🔱 Zeb and Kallus being dorks and kicking butt together

🔱 more AP-5 sass pls? Like just let us see him roast the entire rebel alliance pls I know he could do it just give him the chance

🔱 Characters from the Clone Wars slippin’ in for one-shot episodes

🔱 another kanan/ezra hug would be nice