and you call yourself a spy Natasha

I rewatched XMFC tonight for the first time in A WHILE* and it was! an experience!!

  • I would not have thought it possible that I could be surprised by how much of an asshole Charles is in this film, given that it is HIS DEFINING CANONICAL PERSONALITY TRAIT, but oh my god. oh my god. you guys. he’s the worst person in the world, except for maybe Erik, it’s a toss-up. they are, together, the worst people in the world. it is amazing. this is clearly the reason I love this franchise so much. they are both just trash heaps. the thing is, the movie clearly is under no misperceptions about this. he is awful from start to finish and accidentally stumbles into doing something good or having a correct opinion OCCASIONALLY. it is truly magnificent.
  • I literally grinned and giggled like a blushing schoolgirl any time Erik pulled any of his stupid antics. I don’t care, I can’t help it, I lurve him and his melodramatics and chic clothes. WHERE DO THE CLOTHES COME FROM? DOES HE HAVE THEM STASHED AWAY IN EVERY CITY? HOW MUCH TIME HAS HE SPENT ASSEMBLING HIS WARDROBE? WHAT IS THE STORY BEHIND THE OBVIOUSLY HANDMADE CAPE ETC? I demand >5000 words of fanfic about this pronto. I must know. it is too delicious. nobody wears a fedora like Michael Fassbender wears a fedora, I am just saying. (Jon Hamm. that’s it. nobody else should bother making the attempt.)
  • re. Erik: he is. such. a. weird. man. everything he says is like, profoundly socially inept. he just lurks around and then says weird shit to teenagers about how THEY SHOULD BE PROUD OF WHO THEY ARE!! and scurries away, but like, not in an endearing way. nobody has ever thought about how he comes off as much as this man and yet he has literally no idea how he does, in fact, come off to other people. he is just a colossal failure in this regard. “just shoot me in the head, Charles, old buddy, old pal! it will be so much fun!!!!!” THIS IS NOT HOW WE PLAY WITH OTHERS, ERIK. EVEN IF WE LIKE THEM VERY MUCH. MAYBE GO GET SOME NICE CHOCOLATES.
  • speaking of which: this movie is so gay. it’s so gay. I know this is Not News but oh my god. as I was just saying to @connaissais, this is really the reason I feel legitimately resentful of the fact that the relationship will never be ~canon, whereas with basically every other media property I don’t give a shit: I really feel they went 9/10ths of the way in a very deliberate fashion in this film and then didn’t seal the deal. like, when Erik and Charles meet it is by way of Charles JUMPING INTO THE OCEAN to rescue a hot stranger from drowning himself, and then they cling to each other in the ocean for a while, and then they come up and gush at each other about not being alone. and that! is only! the beginning!! I mean!! COME ON. COME ON.
  • the thing about this movie, I found watching it this time, is: DOFP is definitely a “better” film, I think the best of the four X-Men films I have seen (X-Men, X2, and then these two), but I think this kind of goes higher and also lower. the stuff that works in this movie REALLY works. it has a much more affecting range of emotional content than DOFP (the major failing of that film to my mind)—the Charles/Erik stuff is total dynamite, and then the stuff establishing who Erik is and why he is so fucking out of his mind REALLY works. I mean, it is incredibly superficial and dumb—the scene at the beginning with Shaw is not exactly great cinema, BUT the one at the end in the submarine is really, really good, to the point where I went from like, gleefully cackling along with the movie to all of the sudden being unironically engrossed. the last act of this movie, wild historical inaccuracies aside, is really, really good. it really gets you in the gut. BUT the stuff in this movie that doesn’t work is a complete and total disaster. Darwin, Angel, the Hellfire Club scene (literally so bad it deserves a spot on this list), the creepy stuff with Erik and Raven, Charles randomly kissing Moira, some of the historical stuff that really goes too far into “uh huh” territory (you couldn’t??? just???? pop over into the USSR whenever you felt like it???????), random dangling plot threads everywhere, etc etc. whereas I think DOFP, for all its total wall-to-wall madness, is actually pretty coherent plot-wise, and very steady tonally. obviously it also has some problems but it’s pretty high quality all the way through, as far as I’m concerned.

to sum up:

just guy pals, doing guy stuff, nbd.

*it is possible I have not seen this movie in over three years. no, seriously.

Ah yes Sharon Carter, or as i like to call her Deus ex Carter 

The Captain America AU we never needed

Omgcheckplease AU

My friend @seaofdrunktoddlers has brought to my attention that we don’t have a MCU universe AU for omgcheckplease and this troubles me so here we go

  • Jack is Captain America. I know Jack is a bit quiet and he’s not exactly what you think of when you think captain america, but hear me out
  • Jack grew up with superhero parents. (think sky high people)
  • Bad Bob and Alicia were really fucking famous for their superheroi-ness. Bi Bob may have been Super Strong and Alicia can control lightning. They kicked butt all across the city as teens and they go to college together at Samwell. Because Samwell is known to be really accepting! Of super(queer)- kids!!
  • So like, imagine these four years of Alicia in cute high ponytails teasing Bob for being all brawn and no skill. ((of course shes just teasing because hes actually really smart and helps her with her math sometimes)) But then she gets flustered when he does something romantic or sweet like give her flowers or a shy peck on the cheek and her hair stands on end like static and when she blushes there are actual little sparks (ohmYGOD HELP ME)
  • They get married!!! And they start their own league of superheros!! ((In this AU the government pays super heroes for their work and also, alicia is still a successful model when not in costume)) Then Alicia is having little baby Jack and it’s so amazing. The world is literally their cheerleader. Like,, when the heir to the throne is born kind of popular
  • At first they don’t know what his gifts will be, and he shows no signs as a kid. Like, the whole world is watching this kid intensely. His parents are fuckin legends so this kid has to be really fuckin powerful right?
  • Fun fact! The Jack Poops In The Cup photo still happens but its when his parents get the key to the city.
  • Lil ugly baby jack and they’re like “maybe he can see through things?? What are those things in his eye balls?? Whats a pupil??”
  • and then he turns into a chubby kid and they’re like “all that chub, perfect for a shape shifter!!” but no  !!
  • (Honestly this went crazy so…)

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Chris Evans Is Headed To The Movie Awards -- And He's Bringing An Exclusive Civil War Clip With Him
Here's what we need to see in MTV's exclusive Captain America: Civil War clip

With Batman v Superman finally behind us, it’s time to look toward the next great superhero match-up: Captain America v Iron Man. This time around, it’s Good Guy v Good Guy, friend v friend, First Avenger v Genius Playboy Billionaire Philanthropist, which means things have a particularly high chance of getting messy.

Captain America: Civil War doesn’t drop until May, and if all this waiting has got you feeling like the Big Green Guy, don’t worry. MTV is premiering an exclusive clip from the Marvel flick at the 2016 MTV Movie Awards on Sunday, April 10, which should help ease your anticipation. Oh, and the first Avenger himself, Chris Evans, will be on hand to present the never-before-scene clip to fans at the Warner Bros. lot in Burbank, CA.

We should care more about Steve

blitzywing This one is for you!

Steve is a complex character.  He’s been through too much, seen the world he knew die, and had to join a bunch of people to save it while still freshly traumatized.  And he was just 25 when all that happened.  (tumblr granny here is 27)  So why is he so often reduced to an old-fashioned, prudish stick in the mud?  


Let’s break it down.

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You know how sometimes you have dreams and they seem really, unbelievably real? Not in that way of dream logic, where it suddenly makes sense that you’re back in school and your mom is your math teacher, but, like… dreams where you move back to someplace you used to live, dreams where someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time gets back in touch, dreams where you finally go on that vacation you’ve been planning. Dreams where you wake up and it takes you more time than you’d like to admit to readjust to reality, dreams where for days afterward you have to remind yourself that none of it really happened.

How often do you think Steve Rogers has dreams where a Stark builds a time machine? And he gets to go back home in the way that heroes always get to go back home at the end of a storyline, like this is the story where Captain America sees the grim future and then has to fix it in his own time. How often do you think he dreams about going home and fixing everything, how often do you think he wakes up and takes too long to realize where he is?

You looked up the plan for your next mission. Noami, your long time friend at work, knew what that look on your face meant. “Looks like I’ve got another time the honor to go on a mission with our Captain” you said and smiled a little devilish at Noami. 

“He’s probably not as happy as you to hear about that” your friend answered without glancing at you for once. Her eyes were practically glued at the screen of her laptop. While you were most likely the person who got to solve the action, Noami did all the paper work for your missions. You were glad that you had somebody like her to did all of that because you knew how to fight but paper work wasn’t really your thing. 

“Why not?” you asked and leaned against her desk. 

Suddenly the door opened up and the tall grown man with blonde hair stormed inside the office. “Hello Rogers” Noami greeted him politely as usual of her. She rolled over with her chair and grabbed the mission file for him before she handed it to him. He thanked her with a smile and opened up the file as Noami got back at her paper work. 

“I will be your backing or your partner” you told Steve. “I still don’t know what I am when we go on missions” 

“I guess both because both will be needed” he answered and handed over the file to you. You read through it quickly and grinned. “Finally some fun again” 

Steve sighed. “I don’t like your definition of fun” 

You laughed as you two walked out of Noamis office. “Why that?” 

“Your definition of fun has always to do something with almost dying. Last time wasn’t really funny, I’m definitely not jumping from a building again” 

“Yeah, we almost died if we wouldn’t have jumped from that building. I’m not taking anything to risk. I… Sometimes my planes don’t really work out and I quickly have to figure out another way” you explained, even if that was the worst possible explanation you’ve got. Mostly you don’t have a plan and Steve doesn’t have a plan either, so you just do the most insane thing to save your asses. 

All of sudden Steve stopped. “This time we go with a more planned head in there?” it didn’t really sound like a question. 

You glanced at him. “Alright” you sighed. “More plans, less risks” 

The silent between you became immediately awkward. “Why do I have the feeling that you’re lying?” he questioned. 

Now you were smiled like you just won the lottery. “Because I may am” you said as you turned around and walked down the hallway to get ready for the mission. There was no mission for you where there isn’t any risk. 

I Will Make You Believe You Are Lovely

Brendon making an insecure, trouble ridden reader feel loved <3

(Y/N/N) = Your Nick Name


You sit on the couch, snuggled up next to Pete watching Captain America: Winter Soldier, waiting for Brendon to come back. You lean against him and he wraps his arm around your shoulders and rests his right ankle on his left knee.

“When did they like exchange addresses? How’d he even know where Sam lives?” Pete asks out loud.

“Shut the up and watch the movie.” You laugh a little. You hear the door open and close but you’re too comfy and engrossed in the film to move. The sound of keys being placed on the table makes you look over and see Brendon, standing with a wrinkled forehead.

“Um…hi.” He says, confusedly. Pete looks over and nods.

“Oh hey, man.” He replies. You hear  Brendon walk into the kitchen and pour himself a glass of scotch. Pete gets a text and reads it before sighing.

“Alright, I gotta go.” You whine and pull him back down on the couch.

“Nooo, don’t leave.” He laughs and stands back up.

“Your Man Candy’s back, I don’t need to babysit you anymore.” He stretches and ruffles your hair.

“Alright, (Y/N/N). I’ll see you later.” You pout as he grabs his keys and puts on his shoes.

“See ya!” Pete yells. Brendon replies by yelling ‘Bye!’.

He winks at you before shutting the door behind him. You roll your eyes and lock the door, laughing at little at him.

When you turn around, you see Brendon strolling into the room, finishing off his glass. He sets it on the table before walking over to you. You expect a hug or a kiss but it’s neither of the two. He slams his hands on the wall behind you, pressing his body against yours. You can feel his body heat radiating off of him. You see his tattooed arms on either side of your head and you smirk, wrapping your arms around his waist and sticking your hands in the back pockets of his black skinny jeans.

“You enjoy your little date with Pete?” You roll my eyes.

“Brendon…” you whine.

“You were all nice and cozy, weren’t you.” He growls lowly.

“'Fuck outta here.” You smirk and chuckle. He slaps his hand against the wall.

(Y/N/N)?” He asks incredulously. You just giggle at his jealousy.

“Fuck no.” He grabs your face with his hands and aggressively connects your lips. His tongue slips into your mouth as your lips move in perfect sync. You pull your hands out of his back pockets and snake them up his back and into his hair. You tug on it a little which causes a moan to escape his mouth. He pats the back of your thigh twice notifying you to jump and wrap your legs around his waist. His large hands automatically grab your ass, kneading it through your thin shorts as he carries you upstairs, peppering your neck with kisses. He sucks on your sweet spot which makes you throw your head back in pleasure.

“Fuck, Bren.” He practically kicks down the bedroom door and places you on the bed. You shiver underneath his tall figure that hovers over you. Brendon pulls his shirt over his head, the small breeze giving you a whiff of his scent. He reattaches your lips as he slides your shorts off leaving you only in your t-shirt and underwear. He snakes his right hand under your shirt while the other unbuttons his pants. You let out a moan as he caresses your chest, your heart rate speeding up. Your mind begins to flood with thoughts.

‘Is this really about to happen?’

‘What will he think when he sees me with my clothes off?’

'Will he take one look and get disgusted?’

'Will he just leave after he realizes there’s nothing to chase anymore?’

Suddenly, he stops and sits back on his heels, running a hand through his hair. He lets out a completely humorless chuckle.

“Why’d you stop?” You sit up on your elbows, looking at the shirtless man confusedly.

“I can’t do it. I saw that…that look in your eyes of…hesitation. Anxiety.” He says, looking down. You sit all the way up.

“What? No, I was fine. I-”

“No, (Y/N)! You were shaking. I told you, I’m not gonna go that far until you’re ready.” He says, raising his voice a bit. You sigh, trying to convince yourself that he’s wrong but find it impossible.

“You’re right. I-I’m sorry.” You drop your head and cover your face as your eyes begin to burn with oncoming tears.

“No, no, no. Babe, why are you crying?” Brendon leans forward and pushes a strand of hair out of your face. You turn away from his touch and take a deep breath.

“We’ve been together for over a year and…” You inhale, trying to regain the strength in your wavering, cracking, voice. It didn’t work.  

“I’m still too fucking insecure a-and pathetic to give you what you deserve, Brendon. You’ve put up with my bullshit for 15 whole months and  I still can’t even….” You trail off into tears. He wraps his arms around you and moves so he’s sitting on your left.

“Babe, first of all: bipolar disorder is not bullshit, alright. It’s one hundred percent real. And on top of that you’ve been dealing with like, super severe anxiety which I’ve told you before, I know what it’s like and it sure as hell ain’t easy.” He sits in front of you and takes your hands in his.

“Second of all: You don’t owe me a damn thing, baby girl, alright? And I know you don’t believe me when I say this but you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I think you’re absolutely perfect and I’ll wait forever if that’s what it takes. Because you’re fucking worth it, (Y/N). I need you more than anything or anyone in the entire world and I promise to love and protect you with my entire being for the rest of my life.”

You grab onto Brendon, holding onto him for dear life. No one has ever said anything to you that has totally and completely left you speechless.

“I love you….so fucking much. I don’t know how I’d live without you.” You mumble into his shirt. He holds you in his arms and kisses your temple before resting his chin on the top of your head. It’s silent for a short moment until Brendon speaks up.

“(Y/N)?” He mumbles into your hair.

“Yeah?” You sniffle against his chest.

“Will….” He pauses for a second.

“Will you marry me?” Your heart drops. You pull away from him and look him in the eye. He’s grinning like an idiot.

“Brendon….are you- are you fucking with me right now?” You can feel tears coming on as he shakes his head. Your eyes widen as his smile does the same.

“Of course, Brendon! Yes, holy shit.” You start crying all over again. You wrap your arms around his torso and he adorably giggles as you push him on his back, straddling his waist. You attach your lips to his and they move in sync, slowly and passionately until you finally pull away for air.

“I love you, Brendon.” You smile, resting your head on his chest. He rubs your back.

“I love you too, Gorgeous. And I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I can’t wait to call you mine forever.”


Requests are open!