So I was the DM for a heavily dumbed down game a week or so ago. In it I had 2 players attempting to escape from a monster on the moon (both ‘astronauts’ and the monster were player controlled). Near the end of the game the 2 astronauts were in the captains quarters of an abandoned military outpost and each was given the option to hide in the room.( K and C are human, M is the monster.)

K : I remove my clothing and lie on the bed seductively, with a gun under the pillow.

C : Ill hide in the wardrobe with my pole.

Me (done with these players) : okay, sure.

M (who cannot see what the others did) : I’m going to bust through this wall (rolls this games version of a nat20)

Me : Okay. You burst into the room, causing the wardrobe to fall over, trapping C underfoot. You look around the room and spot K laying on the bed, rabidly suffocating because someone forgot tO TURN ON THE LIFE SUPPORT.

(The monster won rather easily after that.)

Bones: *fights with Spock on the Bridge*

Bones: *fights with Spock in Sickbay*

Bones: *fights with Spock in the Captain’s quarters*

Bones: *fights with Spock in the corridor*

Bones: *fights with Spock on the away mission*

Bones: *fights with Spock in the shuttle*

Bones: *starts fighting with Spock in his quarters*

Bones: *looks around real fast and sees they are alone*

Bones: Darlin’, I love you. *quick kisses*

Bones: *fights with Spock in his quarters, while cuddling*

Wildthing - A Fenrin/Astrys fic

I have this headcanon that Asterin uses casual sex to hide her pain, and that she would never risk having sex with anyone she might actually have to talk to after. So this is partly that and partly Fenrys growing out of his boyo/I’m a lone wolf/I like pretty things phase. It’s a lot more Asterin though. Also this happens alongside my Elorcan fic “It’s Been Three Weeks” and my Manorian “The Beloved One” - so if you’re confused feel free to check those out on my Ao3 (link in my profile). YES, this will get smutty - same variety as my Elorcan fic. XD

[Wildthing - Part 1]

The first time he’d seen the blonde-haired witch, Fenrys had thought her an enemy. She’d flown in out of nowhere on a sky-blue wyvern and had landed on the prow of the ship. Fenrys had been on deck with Gavriel, guarding the captain’s quarters where Rowan was taking care of what was left of Aelin. It’d been a little over a week since they’d rescued her, and his instincts hadn’t given him a chance to think. He’d immediately shifted and attacked the witch.

But she’d been ready.

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Jim is not allowed to bring Bones coffee, ever. The one time he did bring Bones coffee, it was full of so much sugar, that Bones could practically chew on it. Spock is not the only one who can bring Bones any kind of hot drink, he knows how Bones likes his coffee and his tea.

Spock learns how both of his humans take their coffee and is able to use the replicator in the Captain’s quarters to make it perfectly. He makes his Vulcan tea, and he make the other two coffee and delivers it to them while they are still in bed.

anonymous asked:

What location do you think that is?

Based on the set list we got before, these are the options.

  • Group Home Bedroom
  • Emma’s House
  • Charming’s Castle Balcony FTL
  • Charming’s Bedroom
  • Emma’s House
  • Evil Queen’s Lair
  • EQ’s Lair Hall of Mirrors
  • Dwarf Mines
  • Hovel (Granny’s)
  • Pnocchio’s Shop
  • Mary Margaret’s Loft
  • Jolly Roger Captain’s Quarters
  • Main Street Storybrooke
  • Jolly Roger/Docks
  • Gold’s Shop
  • EQ’s Dungeon FTL
  • Zelena’s (Wizard’s) Chamber
  • Regina’s Vault
  • Mayor’s Office
  • Granny’s/Main Street

My bet is Jolly Roger/Docks based on that photo.

TLC Ship Weeks- Home

***warning: angst.

Thorne flicked on the lights in the hangar, illuminating the lone cargo ship that sat inside. On the side of his ship, near the opening hatch, was a black square of paint, chipping away to reveal some of the naked lady that once adorned it. He ran his thumb over the old paint, chuckling to himself. Oh, the adventures he’d had in his prime.

He lowered the hatch, stepping inside and taking in the space he’d spent so much of his life in. Everything was virtually untouched as he wandered throughout the ship, blankets still strewn about as if the crew had just woken up. Eventually he made his way to the captain’s quarters and flicked on the lights. The world map he’d hung on his wall was almost completely covered with pictures he and Cress had taken on their adventures. Them lounging on a beach in Hawaii. Lanterns filling the air at a festival in the Eastern Commonwealth. Cress, laughing at his dirt covered self on a visit to Scarlet’s farm.

Tears blurred his vision as he set the pale blue urn he’d been carrying on the desk beneath the map. He pulled a picture of Cress admiring the Eiffel Tower, a dreamy smile on her lips and stars in her eyes, off the wall and kissed it lightly, setting it next to the urn. “Cress, we’re home.”

I bet Killian’s got the Neverland equivalent of weed somewhere on the Jolly.

Gotta have some way to chill out and relax when you spend a couple hundred years stuck with Pan.

The real question is, if Emma found out would she confiscate it as her sheriff-ly duties would require, or would she collapse onto the bed in the captain’s quarters and just get high with him?

Operation Morgan

Sooooo @claraoswan, it’s time to give you your Captain Cobra Swan Secret Santa gift! It was a lot of fun talking to you (sorry for not sending as many messages as I should’ve - was a pretty questionable secret santa all around, unfortunately), and I hope you enjoy this fic I whipped up for you. I enjoyed writing it, and I’m even considering writing a follow up… Anywho, Happy Holidays (I really hope your holiday has been good!) and Merry Captain Cobra Swan Christmas!

Henry could hear the commotion coming from the crew cabin even before he was unceremoniously shoved out of the captain’s quarter’s, the rustling of Emma’s dress the only sound following him before the wood door slammed shut at his back. He couldn’t help rolling his eyes at the absurdity of it all, pocketing the item Emma had pressed into his hand with a wink and a cheeky grin on the inside of his suit jacket before shoving his hands in the pockets on the outside. He casually crossed the hall towards where all the ruckus was erupting from.

“Don’t you dare toy with me, Killian Jones.”

Henry frowned in confusion as he stepped into the cabin, not seeing his grandmother even if her very determined voice had been reprimanding the man casually leaning against the wall across the room, the wrist of his hooked hand resting against the hilt of his sword.

“I assure you, your majesty, I am doing nothing of the sort.” Killian was looking down into the open hatch that led to the cargo hold. He glanced up briefly towards Henry as the younger man continued to move towards him. “Hello, lad.”

“Hey…” Henry stopped beside Killian and leaned over to peer down the hole himself. “What’s grandma doing?”

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SpockFact #25

Spock and Lt. Sulu maintain a quiet friendship, enjoying discussions of astrosciences and botanical physiology. Spock finds Sulu’s relaxed demeanour a refreshing change from the loud emotional states of the rest of the crew and occasionally spends time with the helmsman in the ship’s arboretum. When on away missions, Spock will sometimes come across a new plant species and obtain a sample for Sulu considering it a gift from one scientific mind to another. In exchange, Sulu will provide Spock with clippings from some of his flowering plants, clippings that often wind up in a vase in Captain Kirk’s quarters.

Welcome Aboard Chpt. 15

Summary: “You! Stay behind and let them go free, but wait until we are a far distance out. That’s an order! And you! Take the beloved prince to Captain Lester’s quarters. He would like to meet him.” Dan could swear he heard the smirk in the pirates voice. He stiffened. Captain Lester? The same Captain Lester who was said to be the deadliest pirate that sailed the seas? Dan finally realized why the ship was familiar. It was the same ship that had invaded, looted, and sunk over 38 of their own ships in just one night.Dan knew he was definitely going to die.“


Dan Howell is a Prince who gets kidnapped by none other than Captain Lester, the deadliest pirate to sail the seas

a/n: I’M BACK FROM THE DEAD! And I have the last chapter in the series. Thank you all for all of your kind messages about this piece. I hope you enjoy the ending, and I’m sorry it took so long. 

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Anon requested a Clexa soccer au, but I thought I’d go with an Aussie theme and have them playing AFL instead…
 The Polis City Commanders are 30 points down in the final quarter but captain Lexa Woods can’t focus properly thanks to that cute blonde playing center half-back for Arkadia…  Team coach Anya is yelling from the sidelines for her star player to stop flirting and get back to the fucking game.

Here’s a video explaining the basics of Aussie Rules if you’ve never heard of it

Gajevy Love Fest Warmup

Prompt: No Panties
Word count: 1220


“Dammit, how did the council figure that job would go anywhere but downhill?” Gajeel growled as we stepped through the door of his captain’s quarters.

“I’m not quite sure what went wrong tonight…” I muttered mostly so myself, replaying the battles events over in my mind for the umpteenth time as I carefully removed my coat and placing it on the table.

“I’ll tell you what went wrong,” he huffed, removing his own heavy, now blood-stained council coat and throwing it angrily onto a chair. “There were a shitload more of those guys than we were prepared for! We barely made it out of there in one piece!”

“I did all the calculations. I guess I hadn’t accounted for the possibility that there might have been more than the reported number.” I scrubbed at my face, too ashamed to look at the injured, infuriated man behind me. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that…” I breathed, running my hands through my now-knotted blue hair and squeezing my eyes shut. “You weren’t supposed to get hurt! It was supposed to be an easy victory, in and out, routine!”

“Levy, it’s not your-”

“It is though!” I whirled around to face him. “I was the one who messed it all up in the first place. I’m the reason you went in the first place! I’m the reason you-” I choked on my words, taking two slow steps closer to close the gap between us. Not meeting his eyes, I lifted my left hand to brush my fingers lightly over his bicep, careful not to get too close to the large gash there. “I’m the reason you got hurt, Gajeel.”

“Levy, quit talkin’ like that. None of this was your fault, you hear me? None of it,” he placed his hand beneath my chin to tilt my head up, where I found his gaze already resting on my face. “It’s not like I’ve never gotten hurt before right?” He smiled slightly.

I clenched my jaw, trying to hold my tongue as several replies came to mind, but knowing him he would just reject anything else I’d have to say on the matter. So I simply nodded and reached past him to pull out a chair.

“Let me at least help clean your injuries,” I finally spoke.

“Levy, I’m not worried about those. I just want to sleep,” he protested immediately.

Rolling my eyes, I quickly traced a few letters in the air before flicking them to his chest. There, a little “push” stuck, throwing him off balance enough to send him back into the chair. “Stay there, got it? Some of those look pretty nasty.” I raised an eyebrow, daring him to challenge me. With a defeated sigh from him, I turned on my heel to go retrieve the bandages and a wet cloth.

Upon returning, I found a shirtless Gajeel leaning back in the chair, fingers interlaced and resting on his lower stomach. He had his eyes closed, head back against the wall, and the sight made me freeze for a moment. He opened one eye, peering at me curiously with his pierced eyebrow raised.

Clearing my throat, I made my way across the room to his side, placing the bandages on the table to my right. Upon taking a closer look at the wound on his arm, I realized it was fairly deep, so I ran to retrieve an antiseptic and a healing salve before returning to the injured dragonslayer.

“This’ll probably hurt,” I muttered as I poured some of the antiseptic onto the cloth and beginning the process. As I carefully dabbed blood away, I felt his arm tighten beneath my fingers, his jaw clenching in obvious pain. It almost brought a small smile to my face, seeing how hard he was trying to hide his discomfort. I probably would have laughed a bit if I didn’t feel so guilty.

“God dammit that hurts,” he hissed as I began wiping gently at the wound itself.

“Just hold still, I’m almost done,” I assured him softly. My throat tightened as he fisted his hands in the fabric of his pants.

Once the cut was properly cleaned, I applied the salve and gestured for him to raise his arm a bit so I could bandage it. He watched me closely as I moved my hands back and forth, wrapping the dressings with practiced ease. As I finished, he turned his head away just as I looked to meet his eyes, and I quickly turned to pick up the other cloth I’d brought.

Stepping in front of him, I tilted his face up, moving to clean the cuts there. He moved his feet apart then, placing his hands on my waist and tugging me into the space between his legs. Closing his eyes once again, he placed his head back against the wall as his fingers traced shapes on my hips. Feeling my cheeks warm, I took a deep breath to try to calm my heartbeat before he heard it’s manic pace.

Running the washcloth over his forehead, I wiped away a patch of blood that came from a small cut along his hairline. I suddenly realized something then.

“Hey, why didn’t you wear the headband I gave you?” I asked quietly, breaking the silence between us.

He shrugged, staying silent for a moment. “Guess I just forgot,” he admitted, letting his hands slide a bit further down my hips.

“I thought you said it was good luck. Maybe if you’d worn it, we would’ve won,” I challenged mostly jokingly.

His eyes opened, revealing those intense red irises that I’d grown to love. “Is that so?”

“I’m just saying, maybe if you’d worn it…” I smirked slightly.

“Well, I’ve got more than one good luck charm, y'know,” he whispered, his fingers ghosting over the skin of my upper thighs, sending a shudder up my spine.

“Do you now?” I brushed a piece of hair back from his face, letting my fingers trail along the sharp contours of his cheek. I trailed them down over his jaw, before walking them up his chin, making sure to land a finger on both of the studs in his skin. Just before my index finger could land on his lower lip, however, he swiftly caught the tip of it gently between his teeth, giving it a playful squeeze before I smiled, rolling my eyes and pulling it away.

“C'mere,” he mumbled, tugging me closer by the backs of my legs. He moved forward more to sit at the edge of the chair and sat up straighter as I took a small step closer, his legs warm against mine.

“Gajeel…” I whispered as he leaned forward and kissed the hollow at the base of my throat. I buried my hands in his dark hair and placed my cheek against the top of his head as his lips gradually made their way up my neck.

I was vaguely aware of his hands as they slowly inched up my thighs. His mouth had my mind a bit frazzled at the moment. So the next thing I knew, his fingers were playing with the waistline of my panties, his lips just beneath my ear, making it impossible to miss his next, growled words.

“You won’t be needing these tonight…”