AND HERE IS PART THREE OF MY TOTALLY UNPLANNED BUT AWESOME (i hope) HBO WAR PLAYLIST TRILOGY! It’s going behind a read more because it’s insanely long, and I do apologise to anyone who doesn’t have their fav on here, but the cast size and the discography scope could’ve combined to have me doing this forever. I had to throw down some limits. Thank you for coming on this wild ride with me! Or if you’ve just tuned in, welcome, and I hope you enjoy <3
(internally) We? WE? My stars and garters I wish I wasn't so against bad language otherwise I would call you a fuckin metallic douchegobbler. WE? Hashtag who? I'm Captain America. I SAVED people. I ended WORLD WAR TWO. I punched Hitler in the goddamn face. And you? You're the Ashley Katchadourian of the goddamn (mentally performs the sign of the cross) Avengers! You giant hunk of scrap metal! CAPTAIN AMERICA didn't zap the Hulk with an electric wand. CAPTAIN AMERICA didn't almost blow up all of New York in a fight with Obadiah Stane. CAPTAIN AMERICA didn't accidentally create a Murderbot 5000. You are unbelievable Tony. Do you remember the party you threw last year? I was the one who - first of all the party sucked and we got attacked by metal Pinocchio - I was the one who picked up Mjolnir. Did you know that? I put it back down because I didn't wanna embarrass Thor and take his powers. Did the thought ever cross your mind that I could easily pick up Mjolnir and whop that ugly goatee off your face? You're so tan you look like a Duluxe paint chart titled "afternoon sun". Donald Trump looks like a ghost next to you. You fly around in a suit of armour filled with artillery, ammunition and explosives and you have the NERVE to say that CAPTAIN AMERICA needs to be put in check? YOU PILOT A FUCKIN RED AND GOLD BODY TANK. You flew it while you were DRUNK, Tony. You know how I know that? JARVIS CRIES TO ME ABOUT THE SMELL OF YOUR BREATH. JARVIS! You made a goddamn (sign of the cross) AI cry, and it doesn't even have TEAR DUCTS! It doesn't have EYES! Did you know Vision flinched the other day when I used the word "jagerbomb"? Your drunk flying is so severe that the mandroid that came from JARVIS' coding system still remembers it. How reckless do you have to be for a robot's SON to have traumatic memories of the smell of your breath? You inherited this from your father, and I watched that man check if the safety functions of all his weapons worked by aiming and trying to fire at Peggy while her back was turned. I mean, thank god the safety feature DID always work you know? But my god, that's where you get it from. You wanna know the most reckless thing someone on MY team has done? Turned a toy Thomas the Tank Engine into a life sized train abomination. AND NO ONE DIED, TONY. So put THAT in your CPU and download it.