captain swan tales

                        The Tale of the Holiday Sweater

Merry Christmas @spartanguard!! I’m your GFSS. I hope you like this silly little Captain Charming adventure with a side portion of Captain Swan. I’m absolutely honoured to have you as a friend. You’re funny, kind hearted, and always a ray of sunshine to talk to. Have a wonderful holiday my dear! xxx

Snow bounced with excitement as she handed the brightly wrapped package over to Killian and David.

They were huddled into Granny’s with half of Storybrooke for her grand ‘holiday pot luck’. Needless to say, the town was taking full advantage of there being no lurking villain of the month or any impending doom that usually targets the quiet coastal resort, so they were celebrating by covering the diner in tinsel, mistletoe, lights, garlands, reindeers, elves and candy canes.

Emma gave her mother a curious look before turning to her father and boyfriend to watch them open the mysterious gift.

“C’mon! Open it!” Snow ordered with glee.

The men gave each other a side eye before reluctantly peeling away at the paper; hesitant about what lay inside.

Their reluctance soon turned into laughter as they revealed a brightly knitted two-person Christmas sweater. They held it up in amusement as others close enough to see joined in with the laughter.

“It’s your ‘get-along’ sweater.” Snow beamed.

“And seeing as how I worked day and night for two weeks flat on that thing, you better put it on.” Granny complained as she passed.

“Aye. It’d be a shame to see it go to waste. What do you say, Dave?”

David agreed as they both began to wrestle the knitted sweater over their heads and adjusted themselves into the sleeves provided.

Snow ‘aww’ed while Emma whipped out her phone, bringing up the camera, ready to capture evidence.

They received cheers once the garment was on and they spent a few moments posing for pictures while Granny, Emma, Henry and Snow snapped away on their devices.

“Gotta say, Captain. Those bright colors kind of suit you.” Emma teased as she nestled herself into his side.

“Aye. It’s rather garish but its snug and warm.”

“And a great way to ambush your sickening displays of affection” David butted in, turning himself to enclose Emma between himself and Killian “Give your old man a hug.”

“Just how much eggnog have you had?” Emma protested in good humor as she was wedged between her boyfriend and father. She felt like it was an attempt to crush her to death rather than an actual hug but she reveled in it all the same.

“I’m staying sober for the ice rink.” David informed her.

“Speaking of, we should head over there before it starts to get dark.” Snow advised them, wrestling Neal into his stroller and swarming him with blankets.

Emma made her way over to Henry and Violet to let them know they were preparing to go while David and Killian tried to take off the sweater.

It was when the seam of the sweater refused to budge that they knew something was wrong.

The men began to tug and pull frantically at the cuffs and collars with no indication of it moving.

“It won’t come off.” David complained as he groped and clawed.

“What do you mean it won’t come off?” Snow attempted to wrestle the knitwear over her husband’s head with no avail.

“The bloody thing is stuck.” Killian muttered.

Soon the rest of the family surrounded them as they tried to work out just why they couldn’t free themselves from their festive prison.

David froze, staring at his wife in panic.

“My hand. I can’t feel my right hand.”

He turned to Killian with urgency.

“Can you feel your other hand?”

“Haven’t for a few centuries now, but thanks for asking, mate.” Killian snarked as irritation and impatience got the better of him.

“You know what I meant.”

“No, Dave. I can’t bloody feel my left arm, nor can I move my hook. If I could, I would have torn this blasted thing from my body a good five minutes ago.”

“There’s no need to act like an ass-”

“Okay! Alright!” Emma interrupted the spat before it got out of hand. “Both of you just calm down. Let’s think for a second.”

With the tension thick in the room, Emma took a moment to gather her thoughts before turning to face the proprietor.


“Don’t look at me.” The woman objected, holding her hands up. “I just made the darn thing. Knitting needles and yarn, that’s all I’ve got.”

A light bulb went off in Emma’s head at the Widow’s words.

“You got any of that yarn left?”

Keep reading


                           These stories can never be erased, because they are more than stories.
                                     They are the t r u t h. And the truth is what you must write.

pretty much how this scene went down
  • Henry: So there's this girl...
  • Emma: Henry no, you're too young my baby
  • Emma: Right Killian?
  • Killian: sign me the FUCK UP👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
  • Killian: I mean... yeah Henry you're waaay too young hehe

Some day I will tell my children that the Evil Queen is pretty hot, that actually she isn’t evil but she suffered so much so that she deserves to be loved.

I will tell them that her True Love is Robin Hood and that she has a son called Henry who also is the Savior’s son, Snow White and Prince Charming’s daughter.

Emma Swan, the Savior, is in love with Captain Hook (hot as hell).

I will tell them that actually the Dark One has a heart, even if it’s all dark, a heart that has truly loved only two people: his son Bealfire and Belle and that the Dark One is Peter Pan’s son.

And finally I will tell my children that the good ones aren’t always good people and that the bad ones aren’t always bad people and I will tell them that I haven’t learnt all this from my childhood’s fairy tales but from watching a tv show that taught me so much.

—  someone, somewhere.

I am 1000000% percent positive jen improvised here- JUST LOOK omg she kisses his cheeks and he freakin breaks character and laughs and then just carries on with his lines anyway. their chemistry is so perfect it makes me weep 


CS The Snow Queen AU:

When The Snow Queen breaks her cursed mirror, splinters of it get into Killian’s heart and eyes. Because of it he becomes distant, cruel, and doesn’t seem to care about Emma anymore. She won’t give up on him though and after a confrontation with the Snow Queen, Emma kisses him and melts his heart thus breaking the curse. 


“Why are you still here? Why are you here at all?”

… “I’m here because you are kind and lovely and terribly, terribly brave,” he said, voice pitched low. “And because I want to be.” 

…“Oh,” she said, mind unable to catch up with the stunning joy that she felt. Joy that was, for the moment, enough to push other sorrows aside. Because it was true, somehow, he was here with her.

-Excerpt from Tithe: A Modern Faerie Tale by Holly Black

Reason #974 of Why My Dad is Annoying (but I love him):

me: *watching ouat*

my dad: *walks in room* OOOOH it’s Captain Hook!

me: Ssshhhh! I’ve been waiting for this!

Killian: I have something to tell you.

my dad: *in high pitched voice* I killed Peter Pan!

me: OMG DAD.


me: *watching CS proposal on youtube* (because Dad interrupted last time)

my dad: *walks in room* *in high pitched voice* Oh, it’s so beautiful!