captain quail

The Mariners Revenge Song but with emoji

We are two ♊ mariners⚓
Our ship's⛵ sole survivors😇
In this belly👅 of a whale🐳
It’s ribs☝ are ceiling beams🏠
It’s guts 👇are carpeting👣
I guess⁉ we have some time⌚ to kill😵

You may not🙅 remember me🙋
I was a child of 👼three👪
And you👹, a lad of eighteen👿
But, I remember you👺
And I will🔪 relate🔪 to you
How our histories 📖interweave🔗
At the time⏰ you were
A rake😈 and a roustabout💩
Spending💸 all your money💰
On the whores😏 and hounds🐶
(Oh🅾, oh🅾)

You had a charming😎 air💨
All cheap ❌and debonair😑
My widowed 👻mother👵 found so sweet🍑
And so she💏 took you😡 in
Her sheets👀 still warm♨ with him👴
Now filled with filth 🚮and foul🚽 disease
As time⌛ wore on you proved
A debt-ridden💳 drunken 🍻mess
Leaving my mother💔
A poor 📉consumptive🍷 wretch😭
(Oh🅾, oh🅾)

And then you🏃 disappeared❓
Your gambling 💱arrears
The only ✔thing you left behind🔙
And then the magistrate💂
Reclaimed🆘 our small estate🏡
And my poor mother 😠lost her mind🏨
Then, one day🍃 in spring🌹
My dear sweet🍬 mother died💐
But, before⏳ she did
I took her hand✋as she, dying, cried😢:
(Oh🅾, oh🅾)

“Find him🔭, find him📝
Tie🎀 him to a pole and break💥
His fingers 👋to splinters🔨
Drag 🚸him to a hole⬇ until he
Wakes 😴up naked👀
Clawing 👐at the ceiling👆
Of his grave🌷”

It took me fifteen years📅
To swallow👅 all my tears💦
Among the urchins✴ in the street🚦
Until a 🅿riory
Took pity 😕and hired me👌
To keep their vestry⛪ nice and neat✨
But, never🚫 once🔂 in the employ
Of these holy🙏 men🎅
Did I ever😔, once turn ↪my mind
From the thought💭 of revenge💣
(Oh🅾, oh🅾)

One night🌚 I overheard👂
The prior exchanging 👥words💬
With a penitent whaler 🐋from the sea🌊
The captain🎩 of his ship🚢
Who matched you😝 toe👞 to tip🔝
Was known📰 for wanton cruelty✊
The following🔜 day
I shipped🚣 to sea🌊
With a privateer☺
And in the whistle🍃
Of the wind🌀
I could almost hear🔉
(Oh🅾, oh🅾)

“Find him🔭, find him📝
Tie🎀 him to a pole and break💥
His fingers 👋to splinters🔨
Drag 🚸him to a hole⬇ until he
Wakes 😴up naked👀
Clawing 👐at the ceiling👆
Of his grave🌷

There is one🔂 thing I must say💬 to you
As you sail⛵ across the sea🐟
Always, your mother👵 will watch😇 over you
As you avenge💢 this wicked😈 deed”

And then😮, that fateful night🌒
We had you🔪 in our sight🔭
After twenty months📆, it seemed
Your starboard💫 flank abeam
I was getting my muskets 🔫 clean
When came this rumbling〰 from beneath⏬
The ocean🌊 shook⚡
The sky🌞 went black🌜
And the captain quailed😱
And before us grew⬆
The angry😡 jaws👄
Of a giant😲 whale🐳

Don’t know ❓how I survived💀
The crew👥 all was chewed 👅alive
I must have slipped 💦between his teeth😆
But, oh🅾, what providence✅
What divine👼 intelligence🔮
🔪That 🔪you 🔪should 🔪survive
As🔪 well🔪 as 🔪me🔪
It gives my eye👓 great joy😂
To see🔬 your eyes😨 fill with fear💩👖
To lean in close😏
And I will whisper🙊
The last🔚 words you’ll hear🔇
(Oh🅾, oh🅾)