captain lachrymose

alkja  asked:

I will accept this CACW: where Tony Stark and Steve Rogers fight over Bucky Barnes and Bucky is deeply disgusted at Steve's infinite hope and actively tries to thwart him because goddammit he deserves to be punished until even Tony is like "Ok, no, this is way too much, kid, you're fucked up, you need help" and Bucky is like "Not you too, Stark junior!" and then Steve and Tony team up to save Bucky from himself (and the governement and/or HYDRA).

Absolutely, CACW should be Steve fending off Stark with one hand and with the other holding Bucky down (he’s already fucking sitting on him, he’s only got so much attention to spare) to keep him from turning himself in to whatever mess of a governing body they’re pitching right now.

Although there’s also something to be said for the reverse, in which, to the shock of almost everyone, Bucky has a minor breakdown early on, because family gone, future is full of a blinking lights that make him antsy, and also loud noises he just doesn’t get, but hey, live and learn, he’s got decades of a void to fill. There’s still angst and flashbacks and death and shit, but pfft, please, Bucky was a Sergeant. He knows all there is to know about wars. He’s crawled through suspiciously red mud, he’s pilfered bullets from a dying kid, hell, he’s seen people tread on a mine and well, technically survive until he came crawling over. You’d be surprised how chatty most of a singed torso can be, even if most of what it can say is ohgodohgodohgod. Lucky him, the blast made his ears ring, so he got only half of that. Point being, If he learned to sleep with that in his brain, not to mention however many poor fuckers he offed because they stood too close to Captain Star Spangled Ass, he can sleep anywhere, and sure, it’s been decades, but like— he’s biologically thirtyish, and going by his hair he’s been awake for something like two cumulative years. Also he will never again in his life need a bottle opener, how neat is that? *flicks a beer bottle open with his thumb* Cheers.

Steve though. Steve apparently flew a plan into the Arctic, which, while admirable in theory, raises some serious doubts, because c’mon, HYDRA might be big on personal sacrifice but they generally prefer other people to do the sacrificing, so what, no escape hatch? No top-secret HYDRAchutes? Dubiousness. New York was a hot mess, but hey, Bucky’s willing to let that slide. The shit that followed, however, the shit that Natasha shares happily, oh that gives him conniptions. Because WTF, Steve? What, World Fucking War Two not big enough for you? You needed to get tangled with the people on whom there’s a standing kill order in just about every half-witted terrorist cell in the world? Really? Jumping out of planes with no parachute? Looks like you need to lose a fight, punk, no one punched you in the face lately, god, this is why I preferred tiny!Steve, stupid little fucker at least had the presence of mind to pick fights with people/objects who probably wouldn’t kill him on purpose.

Stupid fucking punk.