captain j. moses

Knots, Ghosts, and the Lord
Captain J. Moses
Knots, Ghosts, and the Lord

Knots, Ghosts, and the Lord

Absolute and holiest lord, this is a prayer to you, and

all your ghost friends, saints, and the devil—

-

It is also a story:

-

the while ago,

I probed the occipital knots of a

homeless man in the park—while he slept—

I discovered it had congruent size to a

cyst I had measured before—

the length of 3 quarters my rubbers—

but it just isn’t the same as skin to skin.

On a checkered bed sheet—

or was it striped?—I took my gloves down the neck

of three bottles of  micro-brewed ales—but in a few minutes only

—sensual all the same—I discovered the knots in her lobe by faith—

Became wide drunk and decided to take down some chocolate cookies that

I told everyone disappeared to the ghosts. 

But the knot on her lobe grew a little

In my peripheral vision and 

stopped when I looked at it,

I took a sip of Wild Turkey, and 

got out my measuring tape, it opened its eyes and

asked me for flowers—needless to say, I took off my gloves, the rubbers. 

At that moment, I realized something:

Will my brother Josh invite me to do fun stuff in Chicago?

Human Song is the first track of Captain J. Moses’ upcoming debut album, “Vitamin C and the Mechanical Universe.” It features guitar and drum parts by Jacob Sanders and a bass part by James Sanders. Album artwork was created by Jacob Sanders. Managed by Impotent Ohms.

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Reverse Migration
Impotent Ohms

Captain J. Moses - Vitamin C and the Mechanical Universe 7.8

               Vitamin C and the Mechanical Universe is the first album to have an ongoing ‘Vitamin C deficiency’ joke. Captain J. Moses sounds quite comfortable in these ramshackle, low-key songs. The singer sings honestly. No decoration is included; it reminds me a bit of mid-90s indie rock. You know, before indie rock started filling stadiums, winning Grammies, etc. I like the singer’s voice a lot, it sounds honest. 

                This is lo-fi, very lo-fi. You hear as soon as the fuzzy ‘Human Song’ begins after a clip about Vitamin C ends. Slowly the track lumbers forward, propelled by a single guitar in the far back working its little heart out. ‘Telo’ takes a similar approach, but with even more distortion and messed up vocals. Casual numbers are found on here as well. The cool ‘Reverse Migration’ sounds like a long-lost college radio hit. It’s so positively mellow and low-key. It is my personal favorite. And ‘Said the Sunset’ a Sunday afternoon kind of song if there ever was one, follows it with a sleepy charm. 

                For the second half of the album things get a bit more experimental. There’s the longest piece, nearly spoken word, called ‘Something that starts with the Letter E’ which is beyond weird. ‘This Title is Much Too Long and Unreliable’ reminds me heavily of the Country Teasers, complete with far away vocals, shouting, and sloppy production. It ends with ‘Snow Sleet Ice’ a driving song. 

               Captain J. Moses creates a strange universe in only half an hour. You can find it here and download it for free. It is a good album to unwind in, to let go in it, and swim around in the relaxed low fidelity.

Listen

Look here: I made a song (a bunch of abstract noise and sung or spoken lyrics) out of some of the poems that you’ve requested. Featured in this track, “Something that Starts with the Letter E” are some of my previously posted poems: “A Definition of Love,” “The Show is Canceled,” “Ode to an Emergency Room,” and “Either and Or.” Thanks for your requests. Enjoy.

(HSM) Hazardous Waste Management
The Carbon Monoxide Brown Recluse Spiders and the Struggle 4! Xceptence
(HSM) Hazardous Waste Management

I shouldn’t be posting this because it’s garbage. I really like it, but it’s garbage. This is a song called HSM (Hazardous Waste Management) by the Carbon Monoxide Brown Recluse Spiders and the Struggle 4! Xceptance. Captain J. Moses and JDSundeavors wrote and recorded, mixed and made this public in about a total of two hours. As always, enjoy!

Will I Do a Double Back Flip?
Captain J. Moses
Will I Do a Double Back Flip?

“Will I Do a Double Back Flip?” by Captain J. Moses

This simple answer is no, but it is not without precedent.

-

Importantly, I can do a double back flip.

-

I can do them off a house or on flat land.

I can do them out of chairs. 

I can do them from perfect stillness, lying flat on my back or

held with weights to the bottom of a deep swimming pool.

-

“Obviously I can do double back flips,” mocks my mind in the 

high pitched voice of a human weasel. 

imagine my body’s majesty in serendipitous flippantry,

a marvel of physics, pouring itself over twice 

in a flurry of limbs, carbon contorted by force,

powered by carbohydrates.

I can do that.

-

In fact, I was once seduced by the double back flip.

I rained double back flips until it flooded,

I flipped in doubles so frequently

my body flipped in it’s sleep like

some sort of distorted stillness illness

like some sort of gravity-less leg syndrome,

I poisoned myself on double back flips.

-

Someone once asked, “ever consider becoming a ninja?”

to which I admitted, “I had.”

However, one can’t be a cowboy and a ninja at once.

Thus, I have to stick to my roots.

-

I’m so bored of double back flips, now, I could die 

if I write one more sentence. So I won’t.

The Carbon Monoxide Brown Recluse Spiders & the Struggle 4! Xceptance present their debut EP, "death of xenophobia as we know it, a crucifix for your daughter, terrible loneliness and the joy it fellates, broke my collar bone shouldering this sad feel, god fucked up, shhh, milk and honey inner body remedies, someone else come up with a title, please.“

Members: Captain J. Moses and JDSundeavors

Contact: impotent.ohms@gmail.com

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