If you're still doing the 'the way you said "I love you'" thing could you do 31 with Thomas and James please?
31 - In awe, the first time you realised it
It was, Thomas thought, almost inevitable. After first meeting the Lieutenant they had spent almost every day in one another’s company. Eating, talking, arguing, sharing ideas day after day and night after night.
It was unavoidable for someone like Thomas; he formed attachments, deep ones, quickly. He was bound to fall for a man as sure and decent as James.
The first moment he realised it, they were side by side looking down at a map of England to settle an argument about distances between points. It was a silly argument, one Thomas kept going out of sheer enjoyment of seeing James so riled up. He had a hand on his lover’s back and would lean in to kiss his neck just to see his skin darken.
And it hit him.
What would he feel if James were to leave him then? What would he feel if James were taken from him? He was sure that the sun would set, never to rise again. There would be an absence in his life he would never be able to fill. He loved James, undoubtedly. The feeling was not foreign, for he knew he loved Miranda, but this… it made his breath catch and his eyes water. Before he could gain control of himself, James touched his cheek.
“Thomas? Gods, Thomas what is it?” His voice was so gentle and Thomas felt a sob rising in his chest. James urged him to speak, to tell him what was wrong, panic clearly clawing at his own chest too.
“I- I think I-” Thomas swallowed the lump in his throat, panic giving way to elation. “No, I’m quite sure I’m in love with you. Ridiculously and irrevocably in love with you!” A grin formed on his lips and spread wider as James returned it.
The lieutenant dragged him into a kiss, more gentle and more perfect than any kiss Thomas had ever been given before. When he pulled away there was wetness on his cheeks, both from Thomas’ tears and his own.
“I love you too, you buffoon.”
They laughed and kissed again, forgetting distances and maps and anything beyond one another. Thomas said the words again, breathed them into James’ mouth, onto his cheeks and neck, into the palms of his hands, to be kept there in James’ very being until there was nothing left of the universe.
4 - ❝i couldn’t care less. i’m with you right now, that’s all that matters.❞ 34 - ❝i never wanted any of this to happen to you.❞ 66 - ❝you know we belong together. i knew it the first time i saw you, and you know it, too. i know you do.❞
set post series because I have been too kind to these two but i still want some kindness to happen
“I never wanted any of this to happen to you,” James whispered into the darkness, thinking Thomas was asleep. “I only wanted you, with no regard to your safety… forgive me.”
He sounded so melancholy and to Thomas it sounded as though James were talking at his grave. He sat up, turning with speed to grasp at his love’s arms.
“Never say that again. Promise me;” he hissed.
He kissed James fiercely, grasping at him and swallowing the broken sob that came from him. “I couldn’t care less about the past, not any more. I’m with you right now, that’s all that matters. I love you and that is all that matters.”
James eyes brimmed with tears, glittering in the low light and his broken heart on show for Thomas to see. He nodded, lips quivering, and rested his head on Thomas’ shoulder.
“We have known such loss. You have suffered more than any man should… To have seen what you have seen, to have done what you had to do! I don’t know how you survived. But I thank God every day that you did. Through all our shared grief, there is a reason we have ended up together; we belong together James, I knew it the first time I saw you. And you know it too, I know you do.”
He kissed James’ hair and stroked his shaking back, desperate to convey his love for the man who was so broken and unused to feeling love. James clung to him, his breath jerky as he tried to control it. It was hard to see him this way but Thomas would do anything if it meant James would feel loved.
“I love you,” he whispered again, “I love you and nothing will change that.”
James looked up with a small crooked smile. “I love you too,” he said with a surety Thomas was relieved to see he still had. It brought tears to his eyes. James, his James, was still in there. He was still that beautiful man Thomas met in London all those years ago.
“I’m glad. Now, let’s get some sleep.”
He tucked James against his side, his arm would no doubt be numb come morning but it was worth it to feel the soft and happy sigh James made as he pressed close.