Dating Harley Quinn and meeting the Squad + The Joker would include:

Originally posted by pir-ado

Requested by @relationshipyard

Warning: Smut

A/N: I’d like to date the hell outta that girl *_* Oh, and HERE are more Harley dating HCs.


  • Holding hands. 
  • Her letting everyone see that you belong to her- only to her. 
    • Her threatening or killing the fools who try to flirt with you.
  • Sweet kisses in public.
  • Heavy make out sessions behind closed doors.
  • Your arm almost always around her waist in public. 
  • Cuddling.
    • Her being a total cuddler. 
    • Her being both, the big and small spoon.
  • Movie nights which end in cuddle sessions or a heavy sexy time.
    • Sex is always fun because Harley is crazy af in bed. 
    • Different positions, sex toys and all the kinky stuff.
  • Meeting the Squad and them all accepting you. 
  • Harley showing you how to shoot and fight properly. 
  • If you like, she uses make up and hair dye on you. 
    • Her being very good in making you look sexy, insane and feral.


  • Deadshot being funny and really nice to you because he knows how much Harley likes you. 
  • Him telling you about his daughter and you telling him about your family.
  • You realising that he’s the dad of the group.
  • Floyd taking you to the side and telling you to keep an eye on Harley, that you should keep her safe and away from the Joker.

El Diablo: 

  • You first thinking he’s shy.
  • Him being a good talk.
  • You being fascinated why he has so many tattoos, so you ask politely.
    • Him answering your questions.

Killer Croc:

  • You being creeped out when you first meet him. 
  • Him actually being really cool. 
    • He tells you stories about his ‘adventures’.
  • Him promising you that he wouldn’t eat you. 
    • You asking yourself if he ever thought about eating you. 

Captain Boomerang: 

  • Digger flirting with you, asking if you need a real ‘cock’ up your pussy/ass.
    • You slapping him so hard, he stops with his disgusting pick up lines.
  • You finding out about Pinky and him begging you to not the others about the unicorn.
    • Of course you keep his secret as leverage. 


  • Katana being silent. She only talks when she has something important to tell. 
  • Her being decently nice to you. 
  • Her keeping an eye on you.
    • It’s not easy to gain her trust.

Rick Flag: 

  • Him being all military guy, but friendly enough to shake your hand and welcome you to the squad.
  • Rick being the second dad of the group because one is not enough.
  • Him being the one who holds the squad back because some of them like to do bullshit.

The Joker:

  • Him being lowkey jealous of you because Harley gives you more attention.  
  • Him not able to kill you because Harley is gonna be super mad at him.
    • She even told him to not touch you.
  • The Joker accepting you after you three go on a heist together.
    • But him still hoping you both break up.
  • Him creeping you slightly out.

You guys. Barbara has a batman pin cushion sitting next to one of her old computers.

I’m willing to bet that every time Bruce pisses her off (which is like 99.9% of the time) Babs stabs him with another pin. One time, she got so angry she did it live to his face during a call, and he just sat there in awkward silence. 

[This fanfiction was requested by the wonderful @superpinkkcat​, I hope you all enjoy and a lot of the inspiration for this scene was taken from The Dark Knight]
 “Why hello there Mister Wayne, this is terribly unprofessional of me,” The woman in question was wearing a pink burlesque number, she wore a mask but her blue eyes were vibrant and I could tell she was blushing. She was beautiful, sexy, and too adorable for me to even be irritated with.

  “It’s fine, really, what can I do for you Miss…”
  “Annalise, that’s my stage-name anyway. I don’t have very much time, I just had to meet you,” she gripped my arm in an excited and flirtatious manner and I smiled at her. 
  “Well, consider us acquainted Annalise, it is a pleasure to meet you,” I said, lowering my voice slightly.
  Her blush crept down her neck and she grinned, leaning in a bit closer so I could smell the sweet and sultry aroma of her perfume. I was used to people approaching me like this, my money and dare I say my looks turned heads. I had grown used to the way people reacted to me, but sometimes I couldn’t help but find it amusing. Sometimes the attention had its… benefits. 
  “I hope you don’t find me too forward, but maybe after the show we could… talk some more and get to know each other better. I have a feeling we could become fast friends,” She whispered, placing a kiss on my cheek. 
  With eyes filled with the promise of the dark delights that could come she waltzed away from me and over to the blue aerial silks which hung from the ceiling. A pleasure Annalise, truly a pleasure.

***Mister J’s P.O.V***

  I yanked her behind the curtain and she gasped, a small giggle escaped her and she wrapped her arms around my neck.
  “Did I do good, Puddin’?” She asked, and I curled my hand around her throat.
  “Too good, doll. I think you enjoyed getting the rich-boy hard,” I growled.
  Y/N’s hand curled around me through my trousers and I tightened my hand around her throat. 
  “I only like makin’ you hard, Mister J,” she purred, her beautiful Brooklyn accent returning.
  The music came on and she gasped, releasing me, “I can’t keep the crowd waitin’, lets give these big shots a show to remember,” 
  I pulled her close, my nose brushing hers, “You’ll pay for that later, go on,” 
***Y/N’s P.O.V***

(Performing to either: Harley Quinn- Anna Murphy, Crazy In Love (slow version)-Beyonce, Gasoline-Halsey, Closer-Nine Inch Nails, Born to Die-Lana Del Ray. It is not necessary but feel free to listen to one of these while reading.)

  I hung above the crowd and I couldn’t help but enjoy it. I couldn’t help but enjoy the stretch and burn of my muscles, I couldn’t help but love that in a moment they would all be looking up at me in horror instead of awe. Looking over at Bruce I shot him a wink.
  I heard Mister J through my earpiece growling at me to pick up the pace. For a man who just loved theatrics you’d think he’d appreciate my little display. I let the silks slide suggestively between my legs before manipulating the silks so I was upright in a split position.
  “Y/N, we don’t have all nigh-”
  I dipped forward, flipping around and around and oops! The silks twisted around my neck and I heard a few screams. I mock flailed, watching as they scrambled around like mice trying to help me. 
  I let out a strained noise, wondering what was taking Mister J so long. The silk released.
***Bruce’s P.O.V***

  I ran to grab her, I ran to try and save her from the unfortunate end falling from that height would probably grant her but the silks covered her and I froze. In the split second where I should have heard the sickening ‘thwack’ of her body hitting the marble, I instead heard nothing. The silks lay on the ground but I saw no outline of her slender form underneath them, and then I heard him.

***Y/N’s P.O.V***

  “Good evening ladies and gentlemen, we are tonight’s entertainment!” 
  I was catapulted from my hiding spot and I landed in Mister J’s arms with a pop of my leg and a blow kiss to the crowd. 
  He let me go and I removed my mask, tossing it to Bruce with a little wave. He exited quickly, probably to call the cops but we had bigger fish to fry. 
  “I’m going to tell all of you a joke, do you all want to hear a joke?” He asked with a laugh.
  Everyone was quiet and Panda tossed up my machine gun and I aimed it at the crowd as Mister J’s other goons blocked the exits. 
  “He asked you a question you idiots,” I yelled and there were a few shaky and forced murmurs of encouragement. 
  The back of Mister J’s hand trailed down my arm and I watched him as he walked around the room, frightening the crowd and eradicating any thoughts of heroism with a sneer. 
  “Now here we all are, you money bags up here for a charity that is really just to make you yooha’s look-”
  “We’re not afraid of you!”
  He sighed, shooting the man in the head before tapping his own with the gun as if to try to remember where he was. 
  “The insolence of some people, now. You’re all here looking all scared and pathetic yet none of you are doing anything. Why?” He asked with a laugh that filled the room. 
  “I know,” I raised a hand and giggled. 
  “Oh, tell them, baby,” he purred, trailing his knife down a mans cheek.
  “Because they expect to be saved,” 
  He opened his arms, circling around to survey our audience, “Exactly. You expect to be saved, you all pray for the Bat to just come in and save the day. It has me in stitches, it really does,” he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.
  “Well folks, let me tell you, you all have put your faith in the wrong vigilante. You’re all here waitin’ for old Batsy to come in an save the day, to save you from us, but the joke is he needs us, you all need us,”
  It always got me all hot and bothered when he started talking like that. It gave me goosebumps just listening to him. 
  “You want us gone, but really your lives would be so boring without us. You all want violence just as much as we do, right? Right? Right?” He grabbed one of the men by his hair and forced him to his knees. 
  “That’s enough!” We heard Batman’s deep rasp.
  Mister J laughed bringing his blade dangerously close to salt’n’pepper heads neck. 
  “If there is no evil to protect you from, Batman is nothing. I could slit this mans throat right now and he won’t kill me for it-” he made a quick move but the Bat was faster, one of his gadgets wrapped around Mister J’s wrist and pinned it to one of the metal sculptures. 
  I was quick to break him out of it, “See, he could have so easily put a bullet in my head to end it,” Mister J laughed again and I smiled. 
  The Bat was only a few feet away, his glare set firmly on Mister J. 
  “You don’t deserve death, you deserve to suffer,” Batman growled.
  “If that reasoning helps you sleep at night, great Batsy, but you and I both know I could kill a bus full of kids and you,” he backed towards the balcony as Batman advanced.
  My heart rate picked up as Mister J hopped up onto the ledge. 
  “Never.” Mister J spread his arms wide. 
  “Let. Me. Die.” 
  He fell over the edge and for a moment all Batsy did was stare. I squeezed my gun tighter knowing only a second had past but it felt like a lifetime. I ignored Panda as he pulled on my elbow. It was only when Batsy plunged over the edge after him that I laughed. I laughed as tears streamed down my cheeks and I fired my gun as we ran for the escape route. 

***Mister J’s P.O.V***

 “Awww Batsy, you do care,” I laughed as he slammed me against the alley wall.
  His fist hit my face once, twice, a third time and all I could do was grin wider. He had proven my point, he had proven my point and he knows it but he will never admit it. He could never. 
  “Face it Bats, you need me as much as I need you-” he hit me again. 
  “You’re a lunatic! That’s all you are!” 
  “And you’re late, you’re late, for a very important date!”
  Y/N swung in with a violent yell as she kicked Batman away from me and I grabbed her hand as the helo lifted us from the ground. The Bat got ready to follow us but Y/N laughed. 
  “A whole bunch of people are going to die Batsy if you don’t get them out of that ballroom in three minutes. It has been a blast!” 
  He wouldn’t follow us, we knew that too, even though we knew he wanted to. Grabbing onto the rope I pulled myself up next to Y/N and she grinned, her lips brushing against mine. 
  ***Y/N’s P.O.V***

  “You had me scared for a second there,” I timidly admitted as we climbed into the helo. 
  He shot me a look over his shoulder as he shut the door. I looked down at my hands and sat quietly for a few seconds. 
  “Wipe that look off your face,” he growled and I looked up at him from under my lashes. 
  “I thought you were gonna go splat-a-roony for a second there, Mister J,” I said. 
  I got on my knee’s in front of him, leaning up so my nose brushed against his, “And who will I make chaos with if you’re dead?” 
  He laughed, his fingertips tracing the neckline of my costume, “Fair point doll, fair point indeed,” 
  “And who will fuck me the way you do, if you’re gone?” I whispered, my tongue grazing his lips and he fisted a hand into my hair.
  “No one, you hear me? No one.”
  “No? I’m sure Bruce Wayne would have-”
  “I said no one,” he growled. 
  “Well then don’t do anything like that again,” I whispered, pulling away from him and sitting with my legs and arms crossed back in my seat.
  His eyes burned me and he leaned forward, turning on his charm, “Aww, you mad at me, Y/N?” 
  “That depends, you got a way to bring up my spirits?” I asked. 
  His fingertips danced along my thigh, “I’ve got a few things in mind for the star of the show,” 

[I hope you all liked it!!!]

BatFam Headcanon 9

Although he’ll never admit it, Damian loves making faces and pictures on his pancakes with syrup, chocolates, and whipped creams. If anyone gets too close to him he’ll mix it up immediately so no one will see what he created but Bruce swore he thought he saw a whipped-cream-spaceship once