things i heard from the lovely couple next to me
  • (i went to see captain america civil war today, and the couple next to me were amazing. seeing as i don't know their names, i'll refer to them as guy 1 and guy 2)
  • me:i'm really sorry to point this out, but my ex is sitting a few seats down from you guys and he keeps glaring at you
  • guy 1:well we'd better give him something to glare at, then
  • guy 2:*kisses guy 1*
  • (bucky took a hold of a running motorcycle and picked it up while someone was on it)
  • guy 1:*stands up* WHAT THE FUCK
  • guy 2:yeah, what the fuck? sit your ass down!
  • (steve just kissed peggy's niece in front of sam and bucky)
  • guy 1:sam and steve are going to have a long conversation in bed, followed by hardcore sex
  • guy 1:if only tony were there, he'd probably just do it to steve on the car in front of the chick
  • guy 2:
  • guy 1:
  • guy 2:are you telling me that we have been dating for over a year now, and you don't fucking ship stucky?
  • (steve and tony were fighting)
  • guy 1:that is some crazy foreplay
  • guy 2:do you have a blood kink or something, jeez
  • (later, during the same steve and tony fight (bucky was fighting too))
  • guy 1:steve and tony are going to have some crazy sex after all of this
  • guy 2:no, steve will be too busy with bucky
  • guy 1:not a chance. a couple is going to have crazy makeup sex, and it's not stucky
  • guy 2:well it isn't us either
  • (after the movie had finished)
  • me:you two had some pretty great conversations
  • guy 1:(his whole face was blushing) sorry you heard that
  • guy 2:i'm not. hey, do you ship stucky, stony, or stam?
  • me:stucky all the way
  • guy 2:at least someone has some fucking sense
The Jealous Type- Peter Parker Imagine

@memiskypirate requested:  Could you write an imagine where Peter is jealous because he thinks you have a crush on Deadpool? Thank you!!!!

You were waiting on the rooftop for Peter to return when you felt someone grab your shoulders from behind you. You jumped and turned around, only to see one of your close friends, Deadpool, standing behind you. “Hey!” you exclaimed, going in for a hug. “How’ve you been, kid?” he asked, returning the hug. You two were just like siblings. You had met through Peter after the two of you rescued you and you and Deadpool had clicked ever since.

You heard another pair of feet landing on the rooftop and you knew that Peter was here. “Hi [Y/N/]…… Wade”. You could feel your face twist into a questioning glance. Peter always called him Deadpool, never by his first name. You then remembered that Deadpool casually had his arm wrapped around your shoulders and you smirked, knowing that your boyfriend was getting jealous now. Peter had never had an issue with your friendship with Deadpool, but the two of you had just started dating and you knew that Peter was easily jealous.

Wade also felt the tension and the two of you shared a knowing glance, forming plans in your head. “Hey babe, let’s leave this kid, shall we? Let’s go hook up,” Deadpool said casually, thanking God he had a mask on to avoid Peter seeing his growing smirk. “Yeah, sounds good. Bye, Peter!” you said, giving a quick wave and smile to your boyfriend. The two of you began to walk away, sniggering quietly to yourselves when you heard Peter yell “Wait, WHAT?”. The two of you started laughing really hard, you bending over and grabbing your knees to stabilize yourself.

Peter used his webbing to shoot you around the waist and bring you over to him, protectively grabbing onto you. “Back off, she’s mine!” he yelled, getting defensive. You were now wiping tears from your eyes from laughing. “Peter, you know I’m only yours!” you said, grabbing him in for a kiss.

Deadpool turned to what seemingly seemed nowhere and yelled out “Seriously Lianne, you couldn’t hook me up!” Of course he had to go and break the fourth wall! However, Peter and [Y/N] didn’t seem to realize and headed off home. “Lianne!!!!!! Can’t you write me in a girl! I can go to your house, I know you aren’t doing anything! You’re just in bed!” he sauntered off, knowing that the cruel writer was not giving him a piece of ass today.

This one made me laugh, I hope you enjoy!

The big word in the Marvel Universe is that some star spangled bonehead (namely Nick Spencer) is trying to make us think that Captain America is at all capable of being a Nazi double agent. 

Here’s why that’s stupid:
- Cap fans just won’t stand for it.
- It seriously makes no sense. What kind of motivation could he possibly have?
- He’s been going along with this charade for WAY too long for it to be believable.
- It literally ruins a hero that is one of the few things that reminds people that America was and is supposed to stand for something great and noble and beautiful. It instead reiterates all the bad things America stands for now. 
- It turns a hero into a villain out of the blue with absolutely no motivation
- It’s just stupid.

See, here’s the thing about Marvel. They’re secretive. Marvel is S.H.I.E.L.D, basically. (I mean, if you’ve ever seen an interview with a Marvel actor, you’ll know about the Marvel snipers to keep spoilers from coming out.) And what happened to S.H.I.E.L.D? They were invaded by Hydra and became a secret Hydra organization. But they also had members who remained loyal to the true Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics organization that people like Peggy Carter and Howard Stark built. And then these loyal S.H.I.E.L.D agents overthrew the Hydra powers within their organization. Marvel is known to throw twists like this stupid, idiotic, and absolutely absurd idea that Cap is a Hydra member out there. They’re also known for throwing a 180 twist on those twists. So, I’m choosing to see this superfluously ignorant “plot twist” as Hydra making its presence in S.H.I.E.L.D./Marvel known. (Remember, in Winter Soldier, Hydra made Cap out to be a bad guy…which is sounding pretty familiar currently.) We just gotta wait til the good guys step in and turn it all around. Nick Spencer is the Zola of Marvel Universe. He is Hydra. And if we don’t hold on to our beloved Cap, our noble, patriotic, nearly worthy of Mjolnir, gentlemanly, perfect, goodhearted Steven Grant Rogers, we’re letting Hydra win. 

No matter what anyone writes, Steve Rogers and Captain America were not created for this. Captain America was created during the second world war as a beam of freaking hope in a time when the world needed a hero who was good and genuine. He was not created to become a deceptive, anti-symbolic opposition to his original portrayal just so Marvel could sell comic books. Joe Simon and Jack Kirby would not approve of this. I’m with Cap, the REAL Cap, til the end of the line. 

Fight me.I could do this all day.