cao guojiu

8 Immortals - Cao Guojiu

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Kay, Cao Guojiu is actually related to royalty, because his name means Emperor’s Uncle. His real name was Cao Yi, and he and his two brothers were bullies. I mean, they were linked to like, royalty, so they totally thought they could do whatever they wanted. They also hunted for fun, and robbed people when they were travelling, the works.

So he and his brothers like, totally robbed a jewellery merchant, and they tricked the merchant into having drinks with them. So while like, the merchant and his wife were getting drunk and all, Cao Yi and his brothers stole whatever they got. They looted all that these people had, but then, there was this huge whirlwind that came, and after the wind was gone, the merchant and his stuff disappeared! So Cao Yi and his brothers like, totally freaked and ran away.

Later that night, Cao had a nightmare, and all the ghosts and demons were all, “PAY WITH YOUR LIFE!” which really sucked balls. Then, an immortal appeared and told him to totally repent before it was too late, so he was all, k.

He set up a charity house, provided free food during a famine, and basically did everything good. His brothers were all, “Dude, what’s wrong with him? We totally gotta do something,” so they poisoned everyone in the charitable home that Cao had set up.

Cao was so mad, he made sure he found out who did it and executed his brothers. He totally learned the Tao, and Lu Dongbin was so impressed, he was all, “Kay, I should totally make you an immortal,” and he did.

Yay for Cao Guojiu!