cant-win

Environmental Hazards

(same group as this post)

In a Dragon Age campaign based during the first blight, we had been in a very large city for quite a while. The Blight caught up with us, and the dark spawn began to assault the city. We met the force head on in the outer sector of the city, only to come face to face with a horde of Hurlocks and the Archdemon itself.

Me, the Qunari Barbarian: (surveying the map our DM had drawn out) Ok, we cant win this - but if we run now we’ll die anyways. We need a diversion. How about this cow? 

Our DM had drawn a small enclosure with a cow inside it.

Human Barbarian: What if you throw the cow.

Me: I attempt to pick up the cow and throw it at the Archdemon.

Me: (Rolls nat 20)

DM: … You somehow lift the cow above your head, and throw it directly at the Archdemon… 80ft away from you.

Necromancer: I CAST SUPERIOR WALKING BOMB ON THE COW.

Everyone pauses to stare at our mage. After a quick check, the spell has a 120ft range. The spell succeeds.

Our DM begins to roll a saving throw for the Archdemon.

DM: (Rolls nat 1)

DM: … Roll for damage.

Necromancer: (Rolls crit, max damage)

DM: (Holding face in hands) The cow explodes, and transfers the spell onto the Archdemon and the nearby Hurlocks, who also explode. The explosions continue and damage the Archdemon until the entire group you were facing are dead, and the Archdemon is a pile of steaming goo. 

DM: This was the main battle I planned for this session. 

DM: I hate you all.

DM: I am never drawing a cow on the map again. 

tfw you love a Thing and your Friends but sometimes the two just don’t mix

living with an abuser is so ridiculous, no matter how many good points you make or how eloquent you are or how calm or how quiet you keep your voice you cant /win/ because the abuser always has the upper hand and when you rise to their level or shout back or defend yourself youre “just as bad as them” or “youre their abuser too!!” you just.. can never win.

4

so lucky to be your love

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*Black woman wears natural hair*
Black men: “Black girls are so bald headed. Their hair is so nappy and unmanageable. That’s why I stick to white/Latina/Asian women.”
*Black woman wears weave*
Black men: “Why do black girls wear so much weave? Why don’t they just be humble and embrace their roots. That’s why I stick to white/Latina/Asian girls. They don’t need weave.”

Science: “We really need to do something about climate change. Can you fund some research so we can work on solutions?”
America: “Climate change isn’t real, we don’t want our tax dollars going to that garbage.”
Science: “Please? It’s quite imperative.”
America: “Nah. We’re actually going to make it illegal to say the words climate change in some states.”
Science: “Ok well, we’ll keep working on other stuff I guess…”
Science: “Hey we found 7 new earth like planets, 3 of which might have life on them!”
America: “Why don’t you people work on helping earth before you go looking for aliens. K? K.”

hey my lovelies, just wanted to let you know i am home from hospital . i am feeling a lot better. i have experienced ptsd, borderline personality, psychosis, and dissociative disorders for over 13 years. sometimes it wins.. a little, but it cant win, there is so much leo (light) in my chart, and saturn is my apex, my dominant, nothing could beat that :p love you guys xxx

Ambivalent

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Fluff/Angst/

Word Count: 1500


One month.

Thirty days.

Four weeks.

Of no contact with him.

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Pottertalia

before I was a Hetalia blog I actually had a Harry Potter blog. I figure hey, why not take my in depth Harry Potter knowledge and apply it to Hetalia. So here is my sorting of the Axis crew  (Prussia and Romano included)

Italy: Hufflepuff. I was actually torn with Italy between Ravenclaw an Hufflepuff. But in the end I realized he would be much happier in Hufflepuff. Mostly because Italy is a true friend. He would never turn his back on his friends and he’ll always stick by your side. This is arguably the best trait a Huffulepuff has, loyalty.

Romano: Slytherin. I’ve seen him everywhere even Hufflepuff, HA! Romano is a Slytherin. He does not go looking for a fight he would much prefer standing on the sidelines shouting insults your way. He’s shown to be crafty and a bit of a little shit.He’s also the staple of the mafia in the fandom. Quiet deals, shady money. It’s all just Slytherin, Slytherin, Slytherin! He’s not afraid to pick a fight so long he’s confidant the other person will not fight him back. He’s also shown to be quiet ambitious in the Manga saying he does all the work while Italy gets all the credit.

Germany: Hufflepuff. I know everyone is going to say, “he’s Gryffindor!” But why? Really why is he Gryffindor? Sure he’s brave…but anyone can be brave. It’s how you use your bravery. Germany does what’s for the good of Germany, not the world. This is a Slytherin trait. But I digress. He’s a Hufflepuff. He’s extremely loyal to himself, his people and his friends. he’s shown to be very patient with how he deals with Italy. He’s also a hard worker he’s always working out, or cleansing we never see him just sitting around. You might think he’s too mocho to be in Hufflepuff but never judge a book by it’s cover.

Prussia: Ravenclaw. It’s a hard glance between Gryffindor, Slytherin and Ravenclaw but I’m confident in my choice. My reasoning for Ravenclaw is that he has the traits of both Gryffindor and Slytherin that I don’t think he would mesh well in either house. He’s brave but he’s stupid with his bravery and gets himself in battles he cant win. He’s a her but at the same time he’s the villain. He’s out for himself and the good of others at the same time. Yet, if we remember he’s also smart. He’s battle smart and strategic with what he does. He documents his life in detail since the first day and he is said to read a lot of books in one day I forget the exact number he said. He’s also a loner. Ravenclaws tend to be off in their own world, where if we know Prussia he’s often in a fantasy world where he is number one. He’s also seen to be rather lazy and conniving. Getting Germany and others to do his bidding with well placed words and a bit of begging. I think because of so many contradicting traits with Slytherin and Gryffindor the Hat would opt him in Ravenclaw where it would be a break even.

Japan: Ravenclaw. I really like Japan in Ravenclaw. He’s smart and creative. I don’t think he would particularly fare well in any other house. He’s not loud like a Gryffindor, He’s not overly nice like a Hufflepuff and he’s not cocky like a Slytherin. He just enjoys the simple things in life, something a Ravenclaw does. He’d much rather sit at home by himself with a manga or a video game than go to a social outing, the perfect Ravenclaw trait.

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