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Auston Matthews - Part 24

Explicit content, beginning marked with “~~” as well as when it ends. 

I exhaust myself but finish my kitchen by the time the game starts, thanks to time zones. I hunt down my box of blankets and snuggle down on the couch with my pups. I get the feeling this is going to become a nightly routine when Auston has a game. Not that I didn’t used to watch the Leafs play, I just usually had something in front of me as well, but now I feel guilty if I don’t watch the game in its entirety. They have a few days before another game, getting a little bit of a break after a tough road trip and Auston will be home in the morning, but I doubt I’ll be able to see him until later tomorrow.

               My eyes are getting heavier and heavier as the game goes on, Toronto taking the early lead. By the time first intermission comes on I have to stumble to my coffee maker and down an expresso. It doesn’t help. So instead I set an alarm on my phone to take a little cat nap before the second period. This does work.

               I’m able to make myself stay awake for the entire game and see him score yet another goal. I purse my lips, deep in thought as I eye the blue jerseys on my screen. I remember telling Auston that I would never wear his jersey when I had first met him, I debate a moment if that still stands true. I decide it does. For now.

               Once the game ends, a close three to two win, I barely manage to text Auston about his game and a goodnight before passing out right there on the couch. My first night in my first house and I don’t even make it to my bedroom.

               The morning sun is unforgiving as it come in through the uncovered windows, the only things that I didn’t have were curtains and blinds. Those were the first things on my list to get after I settle in. I have zero food in my fridge so I settle for a poptart for breakfast and dig my phone out from under the couch cushions and there’s a message from Auston waiting and several snapchats.

               Thanks babe, cant wait to c u tomorrow.

               It was sent at nearly two in the morning. I tap through the snapchats from his teammates, one of them he’s smiling at his phone and Will captioned it “wonder who he could possibly be reading.” I compare the time Will sent me the snap to when Auston texted me and it matches perfectly and I can’t help but grin at myself.

               Call me when you wake up.

               I quickly send to Auston and rub my hands together, wondering which room to move into next. I wander upstairs and into the open sitting room that I’ll probably make into an office, which leads to the bedrooms and bathroom. I nudge open the door to my room and I eye the boxes lined up against every wall and cringe. When did I get so much shit?

               I spend the next hour setting up my bed and getting that made, moving onto the boxes of clothes that are the primary thing taking up all the boxes. My phone goes off around eleven and I answer it quickly.

               “Hello,” I say shyly.

               “First time you’ve answered and it doesn’t sound like a question,” Auston’s groggy voice comes through the phone and I know he must have just woken up.

               “Well this time I knew for sure it would be you,” I laugh into the phone and begin pacing the room, just as I always do on the phone.

               “Valid. How’s the unpacking?”

               “Slow. I have a lot more stuff than I thought,” I again eye the boxes I can still see in the hallway.

               “Well you want some help?” He asks through a yawn.

               “Are you going to help or nap?” I quirk an eyebrow.

               “Probably both,” he answers honestly and I laugh.

               “Fine, though I have no food beside fruit snacks and poptarts, so if you’re hungry you better eat at home,” I add, my own stomach grumbles and I wonder if I’m close to any delivery places.

               “I’ll bring lunch, what do you want?” Auston asks and I wonder if he heard my stomach through the phone.

               “I don’t care, I’m not in a sub mood so anything but that,” I say and I wait for him to complain that I’m one of those people who don’t like making decisions.

               “Okay, pizza good?” He asks and I blink in surprise.

               “Pizza’s perfect,” I smile. “I’ll text you my address.”

               “Alright, I’ll be there in about an hour,” I can hear him rustling his sheets and I know he’s getting up.

               “Can’t wait,” I say shyly again, a blush creeping into my cheeks.

               “Make that thirty minutes,” he says and I giggle.

               I say goodbye and hang up, I should go shower but I grab one more box and get set on unpacking the clothes in that one as well. I finish my sixth box when I hear a knock on the door downstairs. I startle and glance at the clock I just finish hanging on the wall and panic. It’s been exactly a half hour and I’m still in the clothes I wore yesterday. I contemplate for a moment before hurrying down the stairs.

               “Coming!” I call and my two dogs come barreling down the stairs with me. I frown wondering how they will react to Auston. I calm them down, taking a collar in either hand before opening the door with my elbow. There standing impeccably dressed and holding two pizza boxes in his hands is the boy I’ve been thinking about since I left Toronto.

               He blinks down at me and eyes my dogs a bit warily and I slowly let them go.

               “Hi,” I murmur, suddenly very aware that my hair is knotted in a lopsided bun on my head, my shirt has holes in it and my jeans are barely jeans, too many rips and holes to count. Then I notice that stupid hat on his head and I know I look better than he does.

               Auston doesn’t say anything but grabs me with his free hand and pulls me to him. I meet his lips all too willingly and his mouth coaxes mine open, at least I brushed my teeth. His grabs a handful of my shirt, causing the back to creep up and expose my skin, I shiver from both the touch and the cold air that hits my bare skin. I place my hands on his stomach and marvel at the solidness of him. By the time we pull away from each other there is not a single breathe left in my body.

               “Hi,” he says against my lips and my face turns crimson.

               “You can take a lot more road trips if that’s how you’ll greet me every time,” I manage to get out, my breathing still out of control.

               Auston gives me a grin and steps into the house once I step back, my two dogs dancing in circles around him.

               “At least they like me,” Auston says, keeping the pizza above his shoulder.

               “I think it’s the pizza, bud,” I laugh and show him into the kitchen. He follows behind, his eyes roaming around my house. “I’ll show you the house later. I’m starving.”

               I grab two plates and slide them onto the counter, balancing myself on a bar stool, Auston sits next me and we dive into the boxes. I let out a groan of satisfaction and close my eyes.

               “Warm food!”

               Auston laughs beside me, “You’ve been here less than 24 hours…”

               “Seems like 24 years,” I groan again, taking another embarrassingly large bite.

               We sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, I devour two pieces by the time he finishes his first and I’m already reaching into the box again.

               “How was your trip, besides the hockey part,” I ask, wiping at my face with a napkin.

               “Better now that I’m home,” Auston shrugs and I frown.

               “What do you mean?”

               “I enjoy going to different cities, but I’m always happier to come home, this time especially,” he glances at me and my face heats up again.

               “So you did miss me,” I nudge him with my foot and he rolls his eyes.

               “Don’t get a big head,” he mutters and I giggle.

               “Nah, yours is big enough for the both of us,” I reply, taking another bite and Auston raises his eyebrows at me, a smirk playing on his face. “What?” I ask through a mouthful and then the double meaning hits me like a rock and I punch at his arm. “Stop that!”

               Auston laughs and finishes his second piece. He eyes the almost empty box now. “Glad I got two.”

               I wonder if I should be embarrassed but I could not care less. “I told you I was hungry!”

               Auston laughs and down his third piece, matching me.

               “Alright, tour time,” I say, going to the sink and rinsing my hands off, drying them on a towel. “Come on,” I touch his arm and step around him.

               He follows behind me as I take him into the dining room that has a table and chairs with about twenty boxes on and around it.

               “I don’t know how I’ll ever get everything put away,” I scowl at the boxes, wishing they would unpack themselves.

               “Was there anything in the house before you came or did you bring everything?” Auston asks, his eyes darting around still.

               “Not a single thing but the barstools and big kitchen stuff, like the fridge and stove,” I run my hand along the table and lead him into the adjourning back porch room, enclosed with windows on three sides, I’m surprised it’s not very drafty. There’s another bathroom and what could be used as a bedroom aside from the living room which Auston already saw.

               I bring him upstairs and through the two spare bedrooms and a bathroom before walking into my bedroom and I automatically go to the box that I had been working on when Auston got here.

               “My room,” I say obviously and suddenly feel unbearably shy and busy myself with organizing my socks into their rightful drawer.

               Auston remains silent as he wanders around the room, half unpacked. I peek at him in the reflection of my vanity mirror, his expression unreadable and I squirm a little. He steps in front of my T.V stand, which was what I started with earlier because it was the easiest. Picking up one of the photos that I placed there just an hour earlier. I know it’s the one with my parents and Auston’s parents at my high school graduation.

               Like always, he seems to feel my stare and his eyes raise to meet mine the mirror. I give him a sad smile and look back down at my hands, trying to make myself put the socks that I’m currently holding into the drawer. They don’t listen. I’m too busy trying to keep back my tears.

               Within seconds one of Auston’s hands is on the small of my back, his face just below mine as he kneels on the floor beside my stool.

               “Hey, don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you sad,” he says gently and he grabs my chin, making me look at him. His eyes are soft, just like the small smile tugging the corner of his mouth.

               “I know you didn’t,” I whisper, willing the tear that’s threatening to fall free to stay right there.

               “Then why are you so sad?” He runs his thumb across my bottom lip and my lips part under his touch.

               “I just forgot that on top of being far away from my parents, I’m now an additional five hours away from Alex,” I whine and the tear finally falls. Auston is quick to wipe it away and I can tell he’s trying not to laugh.

               “Oh Y/N,” he says gently and gets to his feet, pulling me with him and against his chest. I don’t sob, but I do cry.

               “I’m an emotional person, okay,” I say, my voice muffled by his chest and I inhale deeply, remembering how much I missed his smell.

               “I gathered that,” Auston muses and with very little effort, he gently lifts me and he carries me to my bed. Lying me down and then sprawling out beside me. I wiggle myself back over to him, nestling into the crook of his shoulder, he rubs my back gently and I let my tears dry themselves. My eyes wander to his face and he continues staring up at my ceiling, I can see wheels turning in his brain. I take the distraction as a moment to appreciate his beauty, I look at his neck and notice a few freckles I hadn’t before, along with a small cut just under his jaw.

               My eyes travel to his mouth and the surprising fullness of his lips fascinates me. I realize I’m staring much harder than I initially thought when the corners of his mouth quirk up and my eyes flash to his, an amused look in his brown eyes. I blush and he laughs out loud this time.

               “You blush a lot,” he says and I roll my eyes, embarrassed.  

               “It’s in my genes, my mom blushes constantly too, don’t flatter yourself,” I snap at him which makes his laugh harder and the whole bed vibrates. Though for some reason he doesn’t stop laughing, most likely finding my embarrassment hilarious. I scowl at him and wait for him to quite laughing, but he doesn’t.

               “Auston…” I say after a good ten seconds.

               “Auston!” I snap again, lifting my head off his shoulder and glaring at him.

               I don’t bother saying his name a third time. Instead, I reach other and grab his chin, angling his face to mine and I cover his mouth with mine. Finally, he shuts up.

               Auston’s lips respond to mine and soon enough I’m getting a better taste of his intoxicating mouth, he tastes just like I remember; fruity with something sweet. I tell myself to pull away before this gets out of hand, but my body doesn’t respond. Instead I let him push my back into my pillows, he rolls to his side, hovering slightly over me and trailing his hand down to my hip.

               Again, I tell myself to stop it but I don’t listen. I grab a handful of his shirt and shimmy my way farther under his body. Slowly running my hand down to the waistband of his pants, I find the end of his shirt and raise my hand up underneath it, my fingers grazing his stomach. He makes a noise above me and my resolve completely breaks, I’m aching for his touch.

               “Auston,” I breathe, my lips leaving his and brushing against his jaw. “Touch me, please,” I whisper. His body goes still above me and a grin breaks out across his face.

               “What was that?” He asks and I know full well he knows exactly what I said.

               “Touch me,” I whisper again, tugging at his shirt impatiently.

               “Only took two weeks for you to ask,” he mutters, his lips finding mine again, this time much more roughly.

~~

               I tug once again at his shirt, this time be obliges and breaks away from me for just a moment to pull the shirt over his head and toss it to the side. Auston’s mouth then goes to my neck as I take my time exploring his skin with my hands. A moan escapes my mouth when he nips at my neck and I can’t even focus long enough to blush. Auston seems to take that as encouragement because his hand too sneaks under my shirt and up my stomach to my chest, undoing my front clasping bra faster than I would have thought possible. Oh!

               My breathing is erratic as I try to focus on anything else besides his hand moving against my bare skin. I finally get my body to respond to my wishes and I grab a handful of his hair, forcing his lips back to mine. He wastes no time and nudges my legs father apart with his knee, settling himself between them and holding his upper body up with his free arm. I raise one of my knees and rest it against his side. My hand seems to get a mind of its own and wanders back down to a place that I’ve become quite familiar with.

               “Nuh uh,” Auston scolds, taking his hand from out of under my shirt and taking my wrist instead, bringing it to his hand that’s holding most of his body weight off of me.

After making sure I couldn’t wiggle my wrist free, he turns his attention back to my mouth and his now free hand snakes its way down my side to my hip again, shifting his weight slightly so he’s against my side. I can feel him against my hip and I resist the urge to try and wiggle my hand free.

“Remember what I told you,” Auston whispers against my lips. “Payback is a bitch.”

My breath gets caught in my throat as his hand brushes against the waistband of my old, ratty jeans. I can feel his smile against my neck as I shiver with anticipation. He makes good of his word and takes his time brushing his fingers against my bare skin right above the button of my jeans and I instinctively react which makes him smile every time.

“Auston,” I whine and he finally gives in.

He quickly makes work of my button and zipper, dipping his hand down the front of my jeans and I moan, though he hasn’t even touched me yet, still intent on teasing me into oblivion.

“You suck,” I manage to get out, closing my eyes and turning my head away from him. He only laughs against my throat and inches my panties to the side. Auston seems to think that it’s now safe to let go of my hand he was holding prisoner and uses it to bend my knee up against his side again. Using this new leverage his finger brushes against me and my hips move on their own accord. After a few more teasing strokes he slowly slips a finger in.

I let out a moan at the same time he lets out a low hiss in my ear. I claw at the bed spread on either side of me as his starts a slow, rhythmic movement. I turn my head to the side, hiding my face against his chest and pulls my hair to make me look back up at him.

“Not as fun being taken advantage of in an emotional state is it?’ Auston asks me, his breath tickling my face and I refuse to answer him, only giving him the satisfaction of another small moan as he adds a second finger. My pulse hammers in my chest and I don’t understand how it doesn’t lift me out of my bed.

“Auston,” I whimper, all pride gone. I just need relief.

“What?” He asks and I don’t have to look to know there’s a smirk on his face.

“Please,” I whimper again and he roughly kisses my mouth again, pressing his thumb down as well as quicken his movements and I rocket into space. My moan is muffled by his mouth and he continues his movement until I float back down from the clouds, kissing my cheeks and jaw gently until I’m able to open my eyes again to give him a lazy smile.

~~

“Now you really can go on road trips as much as you want as want,” I murmur up to him and he laughs.

“I don’t think I’ll be spending any more time out of Toronto than I can manage from now on,” Auston says and I grin at him. I glance at his still bare chest and grin.

“I still got more clothes off of you than you did me,” I tease.

“Yeah? Do me a favor and sit up,” Auston quirks an eyebrow down at me and I go to sit up and remember my bra.

“That doesn’t count,” I mumble, and quickly clasp it back.

“I think it does,” Auston laughs and leans down, placing a gently kiss on my lips.

I let him and then push him onto is back, climbing on top of him.

“Now that you’ve had your fun,” I breathe down at him and his eyes narrow. “It’s time…” I lean down farther, my lips at his ear. “To get to work,” I finish and bound off of him, grabbing the closest box and setting it on his lap, making him grunt.

               “I think I have my work cut out with you,” Auston says under his breath and I’m not entirely sure I was meant to hear.

anonymous asked:

I was wondering if you could give some advice on how to make edits/mood boards and such? Like what programs to use and how to start where to begin? If you have a FAQ I'm sorry for asking, I'm in mobile and cant find it

np! i do have a faq but i don’t think it would quite answer what you need answered so i don’t mind :D

so, honestly, i don’t know if this goes for everyone but def for me, you’re never gonna like Get Good at making edits. every time i put out an edit, i think ‘god this sucks wtf am i even doing but i spent a fucking hour on this so im posting it’ thats literally how almost every time goes

also make sure not to get discouraged if you don’t get a lot of notes on edits. i have like 14k followers and some of my posts don’t get over 40 notes and that’s life!

anyways down to the Actual Editing advice:

those are just some starters but yea, feel free to ask more questions! sorry if this isn’t at all what you were wanting 

trigger warnings exist for a reason

title:  trigger warnings exist for a reason

pairing: phan

words: 3,020

warnings: GRAPHIC descriptions of self-harm, blood, and depression. also some swearing, alcohol, and mentions of sex.

AO3

summary:   After getting an accidental bloody nose, Dan remembers how mesmerized he is by his own blood. Sure, he’s been self-harm free for years now (with the help of his lovely boyfriend, Phil), but the night that he has dubbed “The Red Wedding: Dan Howell Edition” changes things.

He figures that he should probably tell Phil how he’s feeling and how badly he wants to see red again, but Phil’s going on a trip to Germany for a week and Dan doesn’t want to bother him so he decides to wait until Phil returns.

That turns out to be a poor decision on Dan’s part.

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