cant name all the bands i like

rule!63 band of brothers au :: Johanna “Jo” Toye

             she was UNSTOPPABLE. 

      not because she did not have failures or doubts, 

but because she continued on despite them.

Hey, so I’d like to talk about my Cast Page!!!

Aside from the Big Four, almost all of the minor characters that are planned to appear are all vague shadowy figures, with only a few of them having a few facial figures:

kinda like this!

The idea behind this is that I wanted to inform readers how many characters are planned to make appearances within this volume of Monster Band, without revealing too much about them before their appearance. So pretty much until we get their names, they’ll show up all shadowy like this.

How bout these two? They’re not Totally Shadowy! It’s because we encountered these two already, though we didn’t really get much info on them, so theyre still shadowy but not completely so.

They will, however, be brought back (though not from the dead lol), at which point their profile will be updated with info and with an updated drawing that looks p much exactly like this:

anyways! thank you for reading this also holy shit i cant believe we made it to 55 followers!!!

I’m a freshie fob fan but a kinda-old pstump fan. i heard Explode and Run Dry on an iron man fanmix back in 2012 and i got hooked on his solo stuff so fast LMAO but i never bothered checking out his band and just listened to soul punk for the next 2 yrs lmao. and then when centuries came out and i heard it i was like Hmm.. this sounds familiar.. it all fell into place. and then i slapped myself for being so fucking stupid

30 Random Things About Me

Rules: answer these 30 questions and tag 30 people.

thank you @musicalinfj for tagging me in this!!!!! :)

•Nickname: i dont have any really

•Name: Alyssa

•Gender: girl

•Star Sign: sagittarius

•Height: 5′2″?? or 3″? im not sure

•Time: 1:07 am

•Birthday: November 24th

•Favourite Band: hmm..i cant pick just one but some of my faves are falling in reverse, paramore, blackpink, etc.

•Favorite Solo Artist: marina & the diamonds, blackbear, lana del rey, zico, hayley kiyoko, etc.

•Song Stuck In My Head: rainbow by kesha!!! ive been listening to it all day

•Last Movie I Watched: Ouija, me and my gf watched it last night hahha

•Last Show I Watched: american horror story

•When Did I Create My Blog: well ive deleted and restarted tumblr like 5 times but i think i made this one in december

•What Do I Post: text posts, aesthetic posts, sometimes kpop or anime or some other fandom

•Last Thing I Googled: “how to smooth edges of foam board”- i was making something for my love live cosplay haha

•Do You Have Other Blogs: I have like 2 other blogs if you want to know them just message me (:

•Do You Get Asks?: sometimes! i love getting asks!!

•Why Did You Choose This Blog Name: well i wanted a pretty sounding url, serenity is a pretty word and lilac is my favorite color

•Blogs You Are Following: 419

•Followers: 135

•Favourite Colours: purple, blue, pink, mint

•Average Hours of Sleep: during summer i get like 8-12, and during school i get like 5-8

•Lucky Number: 12

•Instruments: i sing & ive been getting back into playing guitar kinda recently

•What Am I Wearing: purple tank top and pajama pants

•How Many Blankets I Sleep With: a lot bc im always freezing!!

•Dream Job: makeup artist!!

•Dream Trip: this is such a hard one but maybe back to disney?? i loved it there

•Favourite Food: pasta or bread or some kind of carbs??? or maybe like a steak lmao

•Nationality: im white lol, im half irish

•Favorite Song Now: i can never pick a favorite song, it changes like every day. It depends on my mood

And for anyone who would like to do this, I’ll be tagging @primadonnaghost @kionawho @kryptidz @whoop-there-it-is @ghoststookmyfantasy @evilkakeruslade @moon-dyke @toxicsweetheart @hel-lame-na @silvaxy @striye @fairiecats @greyjade @godhatesjessie @hellgirrl @northgreatern 

tagged by @halsbarry and @elekktras tysm 💖

rules: answer 30 questions, then tag people you’d like to know better. 

name: rosa

nicknames: rosy, rojo, rose

star sign: scorpio 

gender: female

MBTI type: infp

height: 5′2

time: 7:32 pm

birthday: nov 1st

favourite bands: sleeping at last, 

favourite solo artists: uhhh

song stuck in my head: all night by snsd

last movie I watched: the beauty inside (2015) im still emotional bye

other blogs: @starsforchenle (idk what im doing there but)

when I created my blog: 2012?

what I post about: marvel/dc, voltron, atla, movies in general and memes

last thing I googled: how many episodes does inuyasha have (its 193 btw)

following: 226

followers: 715

favourite colour: blue, purple, pink and red

average hours of sleep: 6

lucky number: 11 - its not really lucky i just use it a lot

instruments: used to play the clarinet as an orchestra kid in middle school 

what I’m wearing: tshirt and shorts 

how many blankets i sleep with: one

dream jobs: not sure tbh

dream trip: paris would be pretty cool to see

favourite food: tangerines (i just ate like 10) 

nationality: american

tagging: @aelinsolo @oochihas @virgojpeg + anybody who wants to do this!! 

tagged by @butchtuxedomask!

rules: answer the questions and tag [20] followers you’d like to get to know better
name: lauren
nickname: none
zodiac sign: sagittarius
hogwarts house: hufflepuff
height: about 5”7
sexual orientation: big gay
ethnicity: white
favorite fruit: blackberries! or watermelon
favorite season: autumn probably! lov the colours + halloween
favorite book series: i cant pick just one :(
favorite fictional character: either sakura or sasuke prob
favorite flower: sunflowers!
favorite scent: cakes baking or fresh bread
favorite color: red? green? purple? it changes
favorite animal: all animals are great but especially cats/dogs/birds/chickens/more. also seals, i love the round boys 
favorite band: idk?
coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: tea! though I do love hot chocolate                         average hours of sleep: anywhere from 4 to 11                                             number of blankets: just one                                                                           dream trip: me and my friends go on a road trip and explore cool places           last thing i googled: can you eat flower petals 
how many blogs i follow: 62
number of followers: 76! its hard being famous                                                 what i usually post about: naruto/lesbians
do i get asks regularly: no :’(

thank u 4 the tag!!! uhh @i-love-my-two-gay-dads @wlwnojutsu @sakura-h @desmeowlins if any of u want to do this? skjdkljds im new here i dont know anyone

anonymous asked:

I feel like when katyas born that otabek would do something really personal and private as a "gift" I have the idea of him secretly taking yuris wedding band and having Katyas name/ initials engraved on the inside. And yuri freaking out because he can't find his ring and he's thinks he's misplaced it and he gets all emotional and upset due to pregnancy hormones and beka just cant keep it a secret anymore and tells him where it is. Or rushes the jeweler to hurry with the engraving

That’s so chaotic and so good! Poor Yuri, thinking he somehow messed up his wedding ring and Otabek being eaten by guilt. That’s such a nice idea! Engraving her name on the ring. Not only about the gifts but I think Otabek would also be the type to tattoo Katya’s name on his arm or something like that. Maybe even Yuri’s name, but without Yuri knowing because that’s kind of taboo for a relationship. Still, it would be difficult to hide anything on his body from Yuri for too long so maybe Otabek’d write it using symbols only he can understand. And Yuri would be suspicious but he would say nothing. 

sludgefriend  asked:


cicadas 🐝, all other bugs (but specifically cicadas) 🐛, spiders and shit 🕷️, lizards sneks frogs and all that shit 🦎, bad movies (but like good bad) 📼, deep greens and reds 🎨, driving as far as you need to get a good view 🌇, weird foods that i don’t like but i try my best to respect 🥑, drinking wine 🍷, any cliche 70s/80s songs 🎶, mother mother hinds la dispute and this band that starts with a c (i think)…cant link a name 🎧, going out to eat at 2 am 🥞, foggy days at the beach 🌊


Due unfortunate mistake, on SPECIAL INTEREST #8 magazine, LR interview was published in raw format, which was only draft of audio recording. Version proof-read and corrected by artist himself remained unpublished, so here it finally is. In form it was intended!


I think now for the first time ever Copenhagen is a place where something is happening. I remember when we did the posh isolation two day fest at Utmarken a Swedish guy came up to me and said; “I always hated Denmark for doing only the worst music on the globe and now you are doing only good shows for two days”. I am very proud of the Copenhagen scene today, everything happened so fast and now, here we are.


Playing composed material is the only way I really like to work. I have a hard time improvising, but especially in live shows it would be uncomfortable for me. I like to try and recreate actual songs and at the very least have an exact idea of the direction the show should take and the story that should be told.

I think the live situation is extremely important. You learn from it in a different way than recording and releasing. It is almost like going to an exam. All that you’ve been working on for ages and turned blind and deaf from it, but in live situation you get to see how it works, how the crowd reacts and how you react yourself.

Most of my live activity within industrial music has been with the Damien Dubrovnik, a duo that i do together with Christian Stadsgaard with whom i also run Posh Isolation, for me Damien Dubrovnik is an ideal project to perform live with.
latest LR show i had an additional live member and it turned out to be a very good addition.

I think you learn a lot from playing live and you figure out what is what. the experience of a live piece can be very different from listening to the same thing while sitting in a comfortable couch. something can be very nice in the comfort of your home and your stereo, but in live situations it might not work. Thus there is pieces recorded that will never go into live show and also the other way around. Mostly the live shows are the raw versions of the already recorded pieces.

 There has been so much focus on touring with Damien Dubrovnik so LR shows have been rare.  you get used to the luxury of being two guys on stage and 4 hands instead of 2.
partly thats also the reason that the latest live show was with borrowed hands. there is also a challenge in presenting a personal piece, as a duo?  there is a danger that some of the intimate feeling would disappear. so thats the next challenge, keeping it intimate.


I think when discussing industrial and noise music, it should be mentioned that there were no scene before now and there are no old heroes or gods and there for there is no rules. And if you wanted to learn to do something, you had to write someone in a different country or sneak peak into their gear when they were around.
To not have anyone tell us; “this is what you are supposed to do” had a very positive effect. Maybe in some ways it is more difficult to start from the scratch, but it also had the advantage that there were none we had to live up to. Basically when we started, it was me, Klaus and Christian. and since there were no one else we were kings from the very first day.
 Klaus had roots in the punk/hard core scene. I had been in a “noise rock” band and Christian was the only one doing actual noise. I met Christian at noise concert and Klaus at punk concert once. And we started talking about noise and next week we went to Christian’s studio and he plugged in pedals for us and we were throwing around metal junk. This is only about 4 years ago.

 Denmark is one of the easiest countries to live in. I think while that is quite something, it also has a downside to it. We were talking about Americans before and when you talk to them, they have quite different mentality - it’s either you do it or you don’t. And for a  general Dane - he would just talk and not really care to do anything. And it’s broadly respected that you can talk and not do anything. I have always hated this attitude even when i have caught myself falling into it.  But over the last few years i have seen that energy disappear from the “industrial scene” or maybe it should be called “our scene” instead, for it really is much more than an industrial scene. That makes me very happy to see that we all now manage to use this ground we were given and make the best out of it. Honestly i cant think of a better place in terms of quality projects of all kinds and it is hard to keep track by now.


Sometimes it’s very natural when you do the music with someone else you try to form some sort of vibe around the project and it’s easier with artwork and a new name that helps. Really i always worked best with projects, i was never into “jamming” almost always there has been an idea before the work takes place. That could also be a reason why i am and have been in so many projects/bands, i don’t like the word band, it feels like a rock and roll term and if anything i don’t want to do rock and roll. There is generally a reason why two different projects could not be done as one, sometimes it is obvious and sometimes less.. really it is also a constant process of learning and trying out different forms helps me learn.  

My solo(main) project is LR, which is short for my name and I think I did that on purpose cause I couldn’t really change it for I should’ve changed by name.
I’m doing Damien Dubrovnik project with Christian Stadsgaard. In some ways Damien Dubrovnik is  my main project, sometimes even more than my solo work. We recorded the first album when i was very young and it was my first proper experience with recording and creating a piece of work. It is impossible for me to listen to the recording today without feeling sick from it. But the project has gone a long way since that, and i cant help think that a lot of things would have never happened if it wasn’t for that first record.  

recently we have worked very hard with another project that has been going on for long now, Vår (used to be War) that i do with Elias Bender from Copenhagen band Iceage, but that could fill another interview.

And then there is Olymphia and Caucasian Colony, Sexdrome, Skurv, Croatian Amor, Hvide Sejl and more, but really it is all project driven.   
In this context it might look absurd to say, but really i never wanted to be a musician and still to this day i don’t consider myself one. I never woke up one day and thought “I am going to be a noise musician”. I still don’t think like that, i use it as a tool for some things and i am very happy with the tool, but it is not me, it is something i do.
Growing up in Copenhagen i had a lot of friends forming punk/rock bands, dreaming of “making it” and i was never interested in that. I stuck to visual arts and it was not until i “found” noise and industrial that i even considered that; “maybe it is possible to be on a stage and do something that is not totally stupid.”
Still today when i work with sounds, i really feel like i am working with images. For me it is all the same thing, drawing, recording, performing, collage work, writing, the design of a tape cover.


I released my first solo album with LR last year on vinyl through Posh Isolation entitled “Exile” based on a Poem of the same name by the Jewish German writer Hans Sahl.
That was a very big thing for me, and it still is. The whole process took about two years and it was horrible getting through it. The thing with exile is that i really hadn’t done much before hand, i was still very new to everything and recording a full album all by myself and even using someone elses words for it, it was a big task for me, it would be today still.  I met this poem of Hans Sahl “Exile” and ripped it from  a brochure and had it in my pocket for a very long time before i started the actual work on the album. It became this thing, when i would put my keys and my wallet in my pockets before leaving my home in the morning, i would be sure to bring the small sheet, ripped from the brochure, as well. Maybe it went like that for half a year before i began the work. I still have the sheet, lying in my window.

Full albums is the ideal way to work for me, but at the same time it is not something you do every day and i feel more and more that my/our smaller cassette releases gets a feeling like “small albums”.
since the beginning i have used tape releases also as a way for myself to keep track, that could maybe get some people to feel that i released more than i should have, but honestly i can say that i never released something without a reason to do so. that i released something that wasn’t brilliant, that i can only agree with but it has been an important part of the process for me since the beginning, a way of understanding my own work. Maybe it could even be considered egocentric in a way to release the stuff when it’s experimenting, but personally it has always helped me to get it out of my own tape deck, and in to someone elses.. Even if you do just 50 copies of the tape, it will be easier afterwards to meet it. It makes a natural distance to release something, it makes it easier for me to validate it and learn from it.

I think it could be added that i always had a love for sketches, the unperfected and raw emotion of sketches and the voyeuristic feeling they leave you with. I saw a collection of Munchs sketches recently and the energy portrayed in these rough charcoal and ink drawings, almost surpassed the energy found in his masterpieces. The raw emotion and the fact that the communication is not thought into it at that point.
 The latest LR releases “Excerpts from a Divorce” tape and the “Påsk” tape, done as a collaboration with Arv & Miljö, both consciously utilizes sketching to form actual pieces. leaving them unfinished and unrefined. The title “Excerpts from a Divorce” gives it away i think, that everything on the tape is excerpts from a story and should therefor not be seen as “songs” in the normal sense. I like that idea of an action happening and you are only presented with a few seconds or a few minutes of it, you don’t have the privilege to see it through, there is no happy or sad ending and no moral at the end.  


 I never had a big interest in any of the specific “regular topics” of noise music. I have no real obsession with serial killers, I don’t know much about nazism or past genocides of any kind.
I think that two most important subjects in art and therefore also Industrial or Noise when put into the context is Sex and Death. It doesn’t matter if it is a Throbbing Gristle record, a Con-Dom tape, a Munch Painting painting, a Genet poem or a beautiful piece of architecture.

I can really only talk about toady because I don’t know what the “scene” was like 10 years ago. But i get a feeling of a growing uniformity and it feels like so many are using the same imagery, same themes, same type of lyrics and I  find it hard to believe that it is coincidental and that everybody just happens to have the exact same obsessions and the exact same way of expressing it. I think it is something that very easily happens within smaller communities like for instance “The industrial - power electronics Scene” and really it is the power of the scene that is also the danger. There is a surden liberty in the fact that everyone is expected to have some form of background knowledge therefor no one is expected to explain the utter basics of why one works in such and such ways and why one uses such and such medias. However this should make room for a much larger debate of the actual work and the themes and i see that happening very rarely. Its a shame i feel, because for the most part people doing this form of expression rarely strike me as very stupid people.


Caucasian Colony deals with white man’s role in the world. Good and wrong doings
and maybe most importantly the understanding of the world and yourself as a white male in the western world, in Northern Europe.
So when we decided to work with the subject of child witch hunting in africa in was done from a premiss that we can only talk about it from our role as the observer on the other side of the world. I have been in Africa, but I have never seen witch hunting. Thus the whole thing is done from our observations watching random news broadcasts and documentaries and that was the whole point of the project really. The way we grasp it, being an observer in a country as Denmark. It is watching these happenings from a sudden angle. To talk about or indulge in tribal life and rituals would be lying, and not interesting for me. But the role of sitting at your Western luxurious home and getting all this information is interesting. You see it, you think that this is terrible, but then you go on, change the channel, put on a record or something like that. That split second or few seconds, when you think how horrible it is and then you forget, it such a bizarre thing. those few seconds, thats what Caucasian Colony is about.
 The emotions that this type of stuff awakens in you while watching news broadcasts, it probably more have to do than the actual happening. It could be almost anything.
However it was interesting to take this topic having in mind the christian colonization, voodoo traditions and the horrible result that the remix of the cultures ended up to. It hasn’t been the idea to exploit grotesque subject for the sake of being grotesque.


When creating art in every different sense of it, for it to be good, it has to have emotion, but also almost as important is an amount of communication. You can not solely depend on emotion, it’s not enough to stand in the street and scream your heart out when you are sad or happy - it’s not art, or atleast it is not very good art.
It’s a balance between communicating and emotion. And both of these have to be there. That could be a definition of what i think art should be. Emotion itself is ultimately a very limited pallet. It’s not art to punch a guy to the floor at the party or sit at home crying. I think for the emotion to be an artistic thing, there has to be an element of communication. And when something is really good - it’s the perfect balance between the two of these.
It’s like an action movie or a fairytale - you don’t take in all of the different parts of human nature, but only those important for the story you want to tell. In real life even if you did a heroic thing, you still might have to go to the toilet or you forgot your appointment with the dentist, But it is not very relevant for the heroic thing you just did  
When you are doing art, you are cutting all that unnecessary stuff away and falsely creating raw emotion. And it’s very important when discussing the artist - he is portraying romanticised picture of the world around him. It goes through a filter so it would be relevant to the people. If I would do music about my daily life, it would be horrible. Either writing the plot for an action movie or painting or recording a noise record, it’s still about tearing away the stuff that doesn’t matter and falsely creating the emotion. Maybe false is not the right word, but when dealing with art, it is not the raw energy and emotion of the world, it’s the raw energy and emotion of the fantasy world.


If you want to paint a painting, the better you know the colors, the better you are drawing, the easier it is to say what you want to say. In the beginning I threw metal objects around and screamed into a microphone and i would never say that that is not a good thing, but it has it limitations. Now I’m exploring sounds, effect and use of different recording techniques, expanding knowledge of ideal ways to use it and so on. It’s not about buying loads of expensive gear. Sometimes it’s ideal to find a way to use an old tape deck or using cheap horrible distortion pedal in the best possible way. For me it is very important to have control on what I am doing. Today everything’s very fixed and composed.

A huge changing factor for me was when my rehearsal space was flooded and i didn’t have a place to be for almost half a year. So uncertain of what of my gear still worked and without anywhere to really use it i did what i could and started doing field recordings. I had never really used that before and i was surprised and amazed of what you can do with a dictaphone.
Before that i always had these ideas of nature sounds when i was recording, but now i realized nature sounded in no way as it had done when i had imagined it. Its far more grotesque and dirty, it is well.. Noise.

I think i have become far more minimal in my ideas of composition, i realized i didn’t need three analogue synthesizers and 20 effect pedals to do what i want and very often found that the more minimal version was the more effective one.
Being presented to the work of Pansonic helped me realize that. Sometimes you hear a frequency and you don’t need anything else other than that.
My interest now is to find a way to deliver a message clear with the least possible sound. Trying to cut away all the unnecessary stuff.  Being as minimal, but as meaningful as possible. Having strong ideas in most simple sound sources. Working with a minimal sound pallet you have to be very aware for everything stands crystal clear.


Obviously there is a lot of writers and artists that has had a very big impact on my work, writers like Jean Genet, Paul Celan, George Bataille, Inger Christensen, Tom Kristensen, Edith Södergran, Kafka.
Painters like Edvard Munch & Anselm Kiefer, but there are so many.
It’s the same process for me - absorbing noise, a painting, a book, a piece of classical music, watching a movie or a performance.
As it is for me creating, there is no real difference, if i am writing, recording, painting, its all the same.

The first proper noise show i played was a collaborative set with Christian Stadsgaard and Dan Johansson of Sewer Election. One of the first noise shows i ever witnessed was a Prurient show, these three all made very big impression on me. Another name that had to be on the list although I only own a single record of him, should be Pulse Emitter with his record Progression to Desolation. I don’t exactly remember how i got it, i had made the poster for a show he played in Copenhagen and i think i traded it for some zines i had done, anyway i got it at a very early stage and it just struck me, it still does when ever i listen to it.
Today i most admit i almost only listen to noise done by people around me, there is so much going on in Copenhagen and Sweden that there is almost no time to listen to anything else, besides that i tend to  return to classics like TG and White House, Con-Dom, Broken Flag bands.

For a couple of years I worked at a chamber music festival in Ireland where I for the first time really understood what classical music was capable of, my mothers family is all classically trained and I never liked it when i was growing up. Now i cant get enough.
Anything from Bach & Haendel to modern composers like Xenakis and Ligeti.
Lately my big obsession is the british composer John Dowland.


It is not impossible that it will happen again, but for now I can’t say. That’s been done and it took me two years to do it and it was not a very enjoyable experience. To try to live up to someone’s words like that is something that you can not take to lightly and the overall project was very difficult. My new work has gone in quite different directions. It is very personal and writing has become quite a big part of it. There is a lot of subjects that I want to use for LR, Damien Dubrovnik and other projects that it feels natural to write myself.
Its always just been these blows of emotion that decide what i am going to do, something like the Exile poem for instance, it hit me and i was caring that note around with the poem and it felt like the only way i would get it out of my system was to do that album.
The same i could say about “Excerpts from a Divorce” the title just stuck with me and i had to get it out some way.


I think it all came very natural.  We never sat down and talked about what we exactly wanted to do. Me and Christian work very well together and discussions about releases almost never happens. We never sat down and decided to do a noise label or industrial label or so. For us Posh Isolation is just a catatalyst of the things that we like and that we think should be shared with other people. We don’t have a goal to become neither noise nor punk nor black metal label. Our main goal is to be releasing and distributing quality stuff, no matter what it is, and only quality stuff. And stuff that I think has a role to play. Even though things vary a lot from the label. Sometimes it’s a zine, sometimes punk release, sometimes one-copy release, sometimes black metal release. When ever i look through our releases, put them on the floor and look at them, I want them to make sense. All the releases have some kind of recognizable energy to them. I think it is the pursue of an Ideal, An Ideal for Living? That doesn’t mean that we don’t force anything on the artist being released, but it comes very naturally that some stuff fits on the label and some stuff - not. And it’s very important to put focus on the artist and there should be artistic freedom. Posh Isolation is like a beast of its own and has some dos and dont’s. Not necessarily good and bad. Some stuff might be good, but just not for Posh Isolation. It’s not a normal label, it’s more of an egocentric project.

What me and lucas's relationship would be like


Luke: *stares, starts laughing* wow

Me: I think I should be in a band

Luke: I think you should

Me: im going to be in this stupid band named 5sos

Luke: they sound like they cant play at all

Me: I know right, but im stealing this one guys spot his name is huke lemmings

Luke: aw sucks for him

Me: im too good for them but they begged me to join

Luke: oh did they?

Me: *smirks* yep and might I say the bass player is pretty hot

Luke: *laughs and cuddles* aren’t I hotter tho?! *pouts*

Me: whdhhwkkdjwbdn with that pout yes

The first time I was bullied I was in elementary school




they would call me

So I ran to the teacher, tears burning my eyes

She told me to get over it

I never told my parents what happened

Then came middle school, it was like a small town

Full of pre pubescent vicious parasites




They would call me

So I ran in my room, tears burning my eyes

And tried to swing from my ceiling fan

I never told my parents what happened

By the time the middle school was coming to an end

The hallway walls were breathing,

And my inside walls were screaming

I wanted to rip myself apart from this Axe Body Spray hell

“omg tbh fml”

High school was different, an entire new world

I tried to keep my nose up, keep them out

But I was just smelling for smoke

So I can follow the trail back to the burning house and save the boy who lost everything

But I was really finding the boy who lit the fire

and tried changing him

But nothing changed except my weight

To be “suitable” for “classmates”

And slide my fingers down my throat

I blamed it on an


But when this arsonist called me “babe” and told me i was “perfect”

I didnt know that he had another walk in “closet” to put his “unmentionables” in

I was just another spare room in his cheap flammable motel

So I built my walls high and locked my door

Kept everything in and nothing explored

But fireproofing myself was the hardest part

“How to rip you out of my veins” wasnt on WikiHow

But the bathroom walls were not silent

My name smeared with lipstick calling me a

“senior banger,”

“12th grade fucker,”


It felt like I was kicked in the stomach and had the wind knocked out of me

But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

And once I realized that band-aids and poetry cant fix this type of hurt,

And wonder woman wasnt coming

I had to wear the cape all by myself

And no matter how far I stretched my fingers I could not catch all the pain I wanted to heal

All the while he was gaining high fives

All we did was kiss

All I felt was worthless

All he did was kiss

So I gained a new alias

Put all that in the past

Started caring more about books than smoke

The only person that could love me truly was me

And I stopped living along the code of accusations of “not good enough” “never good enough”

I was finally happy

High school is full of big boys and girls just being mean

“teachers pet,”



They would call me

So I walked home, tears no where to be found

and told myself to get over it

I never told my parents what happened

Amnesia (Luke Hemmings Fic)

The sun shone violently through the window nearly blinding me. That should have been my first indication that today was going to be miserable. The second was when I realised I was in a strange room. The third was that there was a teenage boy, who I didn’t know, lying in the bed beside me. Thank god he and I were both fully clothed.

Where the hell was I? My breath picked up and my chest started to heave. I could feel the sweat surfacing on my palms. Oh god, what have I gotten myself in to. Was I out last night? Did I drink too much? No, I would have remembered getting ready and excitement one gets before a night out.

“Morning beautiful.” The boy beside me stretches unaware of my panicked state. He opens his eyes with a yawn, looking at me the way one looks at somebody they love but I don’t know him. Why would he look at me like that?

“(Y/N)? Babe, are you okay? What’s wrong?” he sat up, trying to put his arm around me but I jump out of the bed, startled at his gesture. The hurt look on his face nearly made my heart break but then, ironically, I remember I don’t know him. He could have kidnapped me for all I know. Deep down though I knew that wasn’t true. Somehow I knew he was a good person, I just didn’t know how I knew.

“Please, don’t touch me.” I raised my hands for protection.

“(Y/N) calm down, tell me what’s wrong. What did I do?” He takes his lip ring between his teeth.

“How do you know my name? Where am I? How did I get here? Did you drug me?” I desperately interrogate him.

“What are you talking about? If this is a joke you have with the boys, it’s not funny.” He states, his piercing blue eyes searching my face for any sign that I’m joking. “Do you seriously not know who I am?”

I can’t speak. I just nod my head tears streaming down my face.

“Listen to me, it’s going to be alright.” He steps towards me but stops when I take a step back. “ You know me but for some reason you don’t remember. I’m going to call our other friends and then we are going straight to the hospital.”

“How can I trust you?” I don’t know you or at least I don’t remember knowing you.”

He held his hands up, palms facing me, to show he wasn’t going to attack before walking slowly towards me. “You are safe, you can listen to the phone call and then you can take my phone. (Y/N) please just trust me.” He pleaded. The desperation in his voice convinced me. I just hoped he wasn’t a really good actor.

The phone rang three times before a deep voice answered. “Luke, seriously? It is our day off. Could you not have given me an extra half an hour?”

“Cal there is something wrong. I’m bringing (Y/N) to the hospital. Mikey wasn’t here, I just assumed you all went to breakfast.”

“Is she okay? Well clearly not if she has to go to the hospital. I’ll round up the other two and meet you at the hospital.” He races through. “And Luke I don’t know what’s wrong but it will be okay.”

We walk through the empty hallways, the walls covered in fancy wallpaper with random painting here or there. We entered the elevator once it rang to let us know its arrival. “This is going to sound bad but we cant leave through the lobby.”


“I may be part of a slightly popular band and I don’t want you getting mobbed.”

“Fine, but if you are a murderer and you kill me. I will haunt you.”

For the first time since I woke up he laughed, it made me feel good like maybe everything would be all right. It was like music to my ears.

We arrived at the hospital and after I gave my name and the sort I was asked to take a seat. Luckily though I was called start away. Maybe it was because the guy named Luke was in a band and they thought someone might recognise him.

A ring came from my jean pocket. I took out Luke’s phone, which he had given to me prior to getting into his car. The ringing stopped and up flashed a picture of Luke and I. Maybe we were close, was he my best friend? Clear we take selfies together of at least one. I must be important enough to him if I’m part of his screensaver and we can share a bed together comfortably.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to look. It was someone called ash.” He took the phone before leaving the room and probably redialed this ash’s number. It was probably his girlfriend. The thought sent a shock to my brain, like my body repulsed the idea or maybe it was just a sign that I should know who she is. “Why can’t I remember anything?”

“Miss (Y/L/N), I’m doctor Johnson.” The woman shakes my hand strongly. “I’m just going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer as best you can.” She smiles reassuringly. “What is your full name?”


“Very good, what is your date of birth?”


“Do you no where you are?”

“I’m at the hospital.”

“Do you where the hospital is?”

I rack my brain, trying to remember a name, a sign, a landmark but nothing. “No.” I furrowed my brows.

“Do you know what date it is today?”

“It’s…” Blank again.


“I… What is wrong with me.” I questioned desperately.

“You seem to have lost part of your memory. Have you hit your head?”

“It’s not like I remember.” I whisper, I didn’t mean to be cheeky but that was a stupid question to ask me.

“Is there anyone here with you that I can ask?”

“I think my friend might be able to answer, I think he is my friend anyway.”

I walk out of the room to go find Luke but he is already outside the door with three other boys matching his height. “Luke that doctor wants to ask you a few questions.” The four boys look at me sympathetically.

“Did she hit her head, or has she been involved in any traumatic experiences lately?”

“She fell yesterday but she was okay afterward.”

“What happened?”

“She tripped and hit her head off the curb.”

“I think she might have a case of amnesia. It seems to be short term so hopefully after time it will come back but I would like to do an MRI. Please take a seat and I will get a nurse to come back, take bloods and sort out a date to have the scan done.”

“Do you remember any of us.” A boy with red hair asks.
“I’m sorry, I really wish I did.” I hang my head. My own brain had given up on me. “I’m so scared.” I let a tear escape.

“(Y/N), I’m not leaving you.” Luke places his hands gently on my cheeks. “If I have to relive our every moment together so we can live new ones. I will.” 


Clocks Never Lie (Luke Imagine)

A/N: Hey guys, I know its been a hot minute since we posted anything but we are choosing a new writer next week and with that will come lots of new writing! I also start break for a few days so I will be posting the next one of the pregnancy series! Enjoy this in the meantime, its kinda long! Lemme know if you would like there to be a Part 2! :) - Danielle xoxo

You had been waiting for this day forever. Every day you had looked at your clock, the bracelet on your left wrist that would only come off once you found him, and the numbers got smaller every day. The closer and closer you got, the more nervous it made you. It was already enough pressure having to find the person that you were destined to be with, but you didn’t know who they were going to be or how you were going to meet or where. The only part the bracelet would tell you was when you would meet them. Everyone had one, your parents told you about the day they found each other and their clocks had run out. They were married less then a month later, and had you and your siblings a few years later. That’s also what you found kind of weird about it. People accepted it if you got married right away because you knew that it was the person you were supposed to be with. There wasn’t really any fighting it, and from what you were told, you just got a feeling and as your clock would run out, the bracelet would come off. There was absolutely no trying to figure out who your soulmate was, or how you would meet them, or anything like that. 

Every so often you looked down at it, slowly watching the time drift by. You had less then 24-hours until your clock ran out, and you were freaking out. You were going to a signing of some band a friend of yours liked the next day, so you thought that it would be some boy you happened to meet at the signing. You didn’t really know the band it was for, you didn’t care for or like them that much. You posted a picture of it to twitter, waiting for a couple of your friends to respond freaking out with you. What you got, was the exact opposite reaction. Turns out, none of them were very happy with you because none of their clocks were even close to running out. You were the only one who’s clock had as little time as it did. It was understandable, you were only 18 years old and still had a lot of your life left to live. You were young, with so much time yet. You didn’t know why your clock had as little time as it did, but it had always been that way. It was always smaller then those of your friends and people you knew. However you didn’t care what other people thought about it, you were excited to meet the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with.

When you got out of the shower you decided to call your friend to finalize plans for the next day. “So what time are you picking me up?” You dreaded the answer to this question because you knew it was going to be some absurd super early time in the morning. “Early. Be ready to go around seven, the signing starts at one so that should be plenty of time for us to be at the front.” You groaned, but agreed anyway. She had been begging you for weeks to go with her, trying to convince you that you would fall in love with them just like she did. When you hung up, you crawled into bed, setting an alarm for bright and early the next morning. Your dreams were swarmed with the mystery boy you were going to meet the next day. It was almost eating you alive that you had to just sit and wait, like there was nothing you could do to possibly make the time go just a little bit faster. Before you knew it, your friend was honking her life away sitting in your driveway to get your attention. It was far too early to be awake in your opinion, but you had already agreed to go with her so there was no backing out of it now.

“Good morning sunshine!” Y/F/N chirped when you climbed in the car. You groaned, she was way too peppy this early in the morning. Then you saw the Starbucks sitting in the center console, which would explain her alertness. “Your favorite is in the cup closest to you. You’re welcome.” She told you, and you smiled, you knew you were friends with her for a reason. She was playing the band in the car, 5 Seconds of Summer they were called apparently. You didn’t want to mention anything about your clock countdown, so you tried to hide your wrist as best you could. Despite your efforts, Y/F/N still noticed the numbers ticking away on your wrist. “Have you looked at your clock?! How the hell is yours so low?” You just shrugged because you honestly had no idea, it was nothing you could control, you didn’t really know how the whole idea worked anyway. All you knew is what you had been told by your parents. The rest of the car ride was filled with Y/F/N telling you just about every fact about the band that she could remember off the top of her head, which was surprisingly a lot. You weren’t the first people in line, but there weren’t many people ahead of you, which was good.

Hours passed in line, and all you could do was look at your wrist clock. It had less then an hour left on it, and the signing was starting soon. Y/F/N and several other girls were sitting in a group talking together. There were pictures of you all over the internet somehow, you heard someone say that the store had posted a picture of the first group of girls who had been waiting in line for hours to see the band. Finally, when it was time for the signing to start, you and your friend both bought CD’s to have them signed. Your clock continued to get lower 00:00:15:02  read your clock, which meant you had about fifteen minutes before you were going to meet your soulmate. You knew it was supposed to be forever with this person, that you were meant to be with them for a reason, but you still couldn’t help but feel like it was too much pressure. You hadn’t really dated anyone before, so your first serious relationship was hopefully going to begin in roughly 15 minutes. Talk about too much pressure on someone, you thought. You watched your friend jump up and down with excitement, she was only a few minutes away from meeting her favorite band. You were excited too, you were getting into them and hoped they would be nice guys. 

“Next in line please!” The security guard motioned to you and Y/F/N, and you looked down at your clock one more time. 30 seconds.  That’s when it hit you. It was one of the members of the band, and your friend was going to kill you. This was her favorite band, you felt like you were almost taking something away from her. You were supposed to be with one of them, you - “Hi, I’m Luke Hemmings, and I see your clock just ran out.” You looked up to see a tall blonde boy with a huge quiff sitting in front of you, your CD in his hand. You looked at his wrist clock as well, and just like yours it read 00:00:00:00. “So did yours… Holy shit.” You were in shock, as you and Luke were now holding up the line. Your friend looked at you, and had a mixed look of anger, shock, and joy on her face. “Excuse me, can we stop the signing for a few minutes? I need to talk to this girl.” The security guard nodded, making an announcement that the boys were taking a short break and the signing would resume soon. 

“It cant be you.. It cant be! I don’t even know you… I just started liking your band I-“ You started spewing out sentences a mile a minute before Luke could even get a word in. “Calm down! What’s your name first of all? I’m Luke, Luke Hemmings.” You took a deep breath, knowing that there wasn’t anything you could do for now. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N, its nice to meet you Luke.” “You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen…” He looked like he wanted to kiss you, and you weren’t really sure what you wanted to do. You wanted to kiss him back, but at the same time you wanted to run miles away. It was all happening so fast, and if things went how they did for everyone else, the two of you would be married in less then a month. When you didn’t respond again, he took to talking for you. “Look Y/N, I know this happened really fast. But I’ve been looking at my clock for months, thinking about who it could be and now I finally know that it’s you. I know you’re the person I’m meant to be with. Will you go on a date with me? At least exchange numbers with me, so we can talk after this signing?” Since words obviously weren’t going to work for you, you nodded, giving him your phone and you took his. After you got your phone back you resumed your spot in line with your friend, hugging Luke before he sat back down. The rest of the boys signed your CD, and you patiently waited at the end for your friend to finish.

You tried to think of something to say to your friend until it ended up being her to be the one to break the silence. “You know Y/N.. I’m not mad. I’m a little upset, but I’m more happy for you. You found your soulmate and ITS LUKE HEMMINGS! How insane is that?” It relieved you to know that she no longer wanted to stab you because of the fact that your soulmate was Luke Hemmings, but you weren’t even sure that you wanted it to be Luke. You didn’t really know him, how were you supposed to trust that he was going to be the one you were going to spend the rest of your life with? “I can’t believe its him.. What in the world am I supposed to do?” “You’re going to get to know him, and then you’re going to tell your parents, and then you’re going to start planning a wedding!” She was right, thats how things worked in the society you lived in, but were you ready for it? You were still waiting with your friend by the end of the line, as security had motioned for you to stand there. You guessed Luke had told them and the boys what was going on, which was why you were still waiting there.

You also thought that the least you could do was text your parents and tell them what happened. They knew it was coming, it had happened to them after all. Sure enough, the response you got back was an excited one and they were more then happy to meet him as soon as they could. It took another hour or so for the signing to finish, and once it was done you were taken with the boys to a back room which you assumed was their green room. Luke motioned for you to follow him separately, and Y/F/N followed the rest of the boys. Luke took you to another room with some couches, and a table with a bunch of snacks on it. You grabbed a bottle of water, and sat down on the couch. He sat down next to you, careful not to get too close to make you uncomfortable. “I can tell you’re not used to this yet, and I won’t push you Y/N, I promise. Just know that we are meant to be together, and I will fight for you. No matter what it takes, I will fight for you.” 

You looked up from your bottle of water, and saw in his eyes that he really did mean it. When you looked in those huge blue eyes of his, you knew that you actually had nothing to worry about. Everything your parents had told you and the stories you had heard were true, the bracelets didn’t lie. One look was all it took for you, and you knew you were his and that he was yours. “You don’t have to fight Luke.” “What?” “I said, you don’t have to fight. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. I just think the fact that it actually ran out right as I met you scared me a little is all, I didn’t think I was ready. Now that I’m looking at you though… I know the clocks are right.” He wrapped you up in his arms, and you just knew you were meant to be there, you fit there like the missing piece of a puzzle. That was where you remained for awhile, until a security guard came to get you to say that you were going to meet Luke’s mum Liz. Luke led you hand in hand into another room, where Y/F/N, the rest of the boys, your parents (you guessed Y/F/N had contacted them, typical of her), and Liz were standing there waiting for you. “Everyone, this is Y/N, the girl I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Y/N meet everyone.” Luke looked down and smiled at you, those were the words that would begin the rest of your life, with Luke at your side. The next thing you knew, you were being engulfed in a group hug by the band and hugging your future mother in law. Luke won over your parents just by saying his name. They were right all along: the clocks never lied.

(written by Danielle)


Million steps ahead

You might be breathing but you’re dead

You want to run away

But instead I make you bow your head

Fusion with 1marchingidiot

I couldn’t decide which one I like more so here take all of them.

So this is Blart, the mall cop….

I’m just kidding I’ve had to suffer through lots of fucking memes tonight, such as “ALL I WANNA DO IS SEE YOU TURN INTO A GIANT MALL COP“ and “We’re Blart now”

The real name is Director. Because I’m uncreative.