cant i be happy

“i didn’t steal it from your garden this time!”

anonymous asked:

sad Kakashi scenario

I thought this was good, but I don’t know now. 

Originally posted by hatake-k

Gazing at his reflection in the mirror, Kakashi inhaled slowly, taking the deep breath in with the hope of displacing the heavy weight that was had been bearing down on his chest for the last four days. Though he knew that all of his attempts would be in vain, he still tried, well aware that he was going to have to be presentable for at least the next six hours, and the sharp pain in his chest was not going to help him one bit in these following hours. Right then, he was at a point where he wish he had become numb, where he couldn’t feel the heaviness of the reality that he was now living, but he was still very much in a state of shock with every little moment that passed bringing upon a different pain, each worse than the last.

Straightening out his tie, the man worked on his appearance, trying to ignore the fact that his entire world had fallen apart in a matter of mere hours. Everything still felt surreal to him, like he was just stuck in some strange sort of Purgatory where he couldn’t move forward and escape the all these terrible things. Kakashi had run through the last four days over and over and over again, but nothing felt right; nothing felt true. He knew that he hadn’t come to grips with it all just yet, but by the end of the day, he was going to have face everything whether he was ready or not. Still as he stood in front of the mirror, making sure that he looked his best for this funeral, he couldn’t get over the fact…

He couldn’t accept that you had been killed in a car wreck and now he had to carry on and raise your nine year old daughter all by himself.

It didn’t make sense to him. How could everything have gone so wrong in such a short period of time? He remembered seeing you call his phone, though he hadn’t been able to pick it up at the time, but still, you left a voicemail saying you and Karina were coming home and that you would meet him at the house for dinner. You even left the familiar phrase at the end, the one that he was now just learning that he had been taking for granted the last 15 years, “Alrightly, well I’ll see you soon. Remember, I love you, okay?” It all seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary, but then, not even twenty minutes later, he got a call from the hospital, saying that both his wife and his daughter had been in a fatal collision and that he needed to come immediately.

The rest of that night was just a complete blur of memories in Kakashi’s mind now. There were bits and pieces that he remembered, but a lot of it just didn’t stay with him; truth be told, he only remember two main moments from that night. He recalled the doctors handing him Karina, because by some miracle she had only sustained a minor concussion and some various bruising. But in that moment, she didn’t even look like his child; she was completely terrified, clutching onto him for dear life, too afraid to even loosen her grip on her father for more than a second as they waited in the emergency room. She was a far, far different child than the one he had raised and come to know. And then he remembered an exhausted surgeon coming out in the middle of the night and telling him that you didn’t make- that your injuries were too great and your heart couldn’t within stand them or the surgery. They tried to save you, but you were too far gone when you arrived at the hospital, and that they sent their sympathy to him and Karina.

And that was it. That was all Kakashi could recall from the night you died.

Since then, he had played that last voicemail at least a hundred times, just listening to that soft hum of your voice, knowing that there was a gentle smile upon your lips as you spoke it. It used to be a common practice everyday between the two of you, but now that quiet little recording was all he had left of you- and that was something he was just beginning to face.

With a glance to his watch, Kakashi knew that it was time for him and Karina to begin their way to the church. He wanted some time to prepare your daughter for the things she might hear; he knew she was suffering too, and facing a crowd of people offering their condolences was not something was going to help her in her healing, but it was something that had to be done, and so he called out to her, “Karina, sweetheart, where are you?”

Though no answer came.

His daughter had never been the loudest, but Kakashi had noticed that within the last few days she had been especially quiet, only speaking to him, and even when she did, it was soft and short. What was he expecting though? She had just lost her mother, one of the few who had molded her into the child she was. There were many ways grieve, and maybe Karina’s was just to keep silent, and for the while being, he was going to allow it.

Knowing that his best chance was to go an find her, Kakashi made his way down the hall, which was now illuminated with sunlight as the morning broke through the small windows scattered throughout the home. It brought a warmth into the house that had been missing, and for a moment made him feel as if he wasn’t about to experience one of his hardest day of his entire life, though it did last only a moment. As he walked down the hallway, he remembered that it was you who fell in love with this home, because of this brightness that these little windows delivered into the house, but now it was a memory that he pushed away, not wanting to get caught up in everything right before he had to leave. And so, reaching the back of the house, he took a second to just look out the large glass door and to the porch, where his daughter sat nearly motionless save for a few ginger hand motions. There on her lap was one of the small stray neighborhood cats curled up, relishing in the morning sun and the attention from Karina. There was a part of Kakashi that didn’t want to bother her, knowing that this was as close to normal as she was going to get, but they also needed be getting ready to go, so he slowly opened the door.

As she heard the door slide, your nine year old looked back to her father, and tried to give a small smile, but one never came.

“How are you?” Kakashi asked, more as a ritual greeting than a question as he came and sat down next to her.

She just shrugged, her frown still evident. Kakashi could tell that she was struggling, but she was also his child, so she was going to hide it as much as she could. Brushing her bangs out of her bloodshot eyes, she spoke up to him, “I’ve got to make sure that she’s fed- we’ve been kinda slacking on her and the others the last couple days, so….” your child trailed off a bit as she glanced back down to the stray in her lap.

“Well, I’m sure the other neighbors are helping them- making sure they’re fed and everything.”

Karina just shook her head for a moment, “I know, but…” she stopped herself, “Mom always said it was our job to make sure they had just a little each day, because we never know if they’ll get another meal, and we can’t let them go hungry…” she spoke, trying to focus on one of the more mundane things about her little life, staying as far away from the reality of everything for a long as she could.

A small smile came upon Kakashi’s face for a moment, seeing his child’s empathy, but as almost everything that morning, it quickly faded as the truth needed to come out. With a glance to her, he did his best to be gentle, “You know it’s about time for us to leave. We have to make sure that we get to the church on time.” the father’s voice was soft, not quite sure on what his daughter’s reaction would be throughout the day.

Though at that moment, Karina didn’t even give him a reaction. She simply fell silent and looked out into the backyard.

Immediately, Kakashi took note of her avoidance, “Baby girl, I know it’s not going to be easy, but…” he faltered, wanting to give her something that would help her through all of this, but not really having an answer.

Still, she said nothing.

“Karina, it’s time.”

Looking away from him, she just shook her, fighting back tears with every fiber of her being, “No, I don’t want to go, Dad…” she admitted. Letting her hair fall back into her face, she just continued to shake her head, “Please don’t make me go…” she cried out quietly. “I-I don’t want to go to Mom’s funeral. I-I….” she began crying harder, tears beginning roll down her little face and onto her black dress.

Instantly, Kakashi felt his heart break even more than it already been. “Shh, shh, c’mon here,” he offered up gently as he pulled her in close to him and hugged onto her. As he held onto her, he could her breathing quicken and her chest heave as the tears never seemed to stop. Trying to calm her down, he kissed the top of her head, “Karina, I need you to take a deep breath.”

She just continued to shake her head, still very much in denial about the whole thing. “N-no.” she breathed out as she balled her fists in his jacket, “I-If we go,  then that means she’s really gone, and I don’t want her to be gone. I don’t want Mom to be gone; I want her to come home and be with us….” she continued to cry. “I want Mom, I want to change what happen- W-why can’t we change it? W-why couldn’t the doctor’s save her? They saved me, why couldn’t they save her?” the questions just flooded out as the child finally broke.

Almost at tears at this point himself, Kakashi just continued to hold on tight to his daughter, knowing that this right here might have been the hardest moment of everything. “I know you miss her and you just want Mom to come back, but sometimes we don’t get what we want, no matter how much we wish for. We can’t change what happened, Karina, it’s not how things work…”

Looking up from his chest, she asked a question that finally broke him,“But, but how are we going to live without her, Dad…?”

Frowning, he shook his head as he admitted the truth, “I don’t know yet…” he trailed for a moment, “But, we will, and we’re going to be just fine. I promise, Karina…”  

i cant believe ppl are reblogging my posts and tagging them like “HAPPY TAG” “THINGS THAT MAKE ME SMILE” “I LOVE THIS” etc like. that tag makes me ten times happier than my dumb ass posts could possibly make anyone else

bangtan’s chapters of 2016

Happy Pocky Day 11.11 (Redraw of that scene cuz imagine Victor dose not know what Pocky Day is and Yuuri shows him~) (On Redbubble!)

i told myself i was gonna finish that really old sketch of maevaris and i finally did it :’0)

Save the last dance for me darling, I want to be the last person you hold tonight

pose referenced from this wonderful shot i always see on tumblr

Currently working on a Swan Prince!Victuuri AU, and it’s not going so well so have a feathery Victor instead :’3c He’s so pretty, but so hard to draw….

this anime is killing me in more ways than one