cant hold this feels sorry not sorry

You ask me if I hate you, and I can’t believe you still don’t get it. 
You think I stopped talking to you because I hate you but you don’t understand that I could never hate you, that I wish I could hate you because then everything would be so much easier, you don’t understand that you could break my heart over and over again and I still wouldn’t be able to hate you. 
I stopped talking to you because I’m in love with you and oh god I wish I could tell you that, I wish I could scream
“no, I don’t hate you, I love you,  I love you so damn much it hurts”
but I can’t because that just opens a door that needs to stay shut, because I’d rather have no love than a love thats only halfway. I’d rather be alone than with someone thats here one day and gone the next. and thats what you were, loving you was like falling in love with the ocean, its so blue and full of life and then suddenly your pulled in and waves are drowning you out and your so deep that the water isn’t blue anymore or green, its just so dark, and theres no sign of life and you don’t understand how something that looks so beautiful can be so deadly. 
So I guess the point of this is to let you know that I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I couldn’t even reply to you, I’m sorry that I was always there and now I can’t answer your text to give you some kind of explanation and oh god I just wanna apologize to myself for even wanting to apologize to you because you are never here, because you leave me out in the cold for days and I never get an apology. but I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I just cant do it anymore. I can’t hold onto something that doesn’t want to be held. I don’t want to be in dark waters anymore, I just want to breathe, and the only way I see that happening is if I’m not swallowing water for you anymore.
So I’m sorry that we don’t talk anymore, but I’m also sorry that I felt the need to give you this apology when you probably barely noticed I was no longer there.
—  I guess this is more of an apology letter to myself than to you. 

anonymous asked:

How do you feel about platonic cuddles? :)

im a Big Fan of platonic cuddling!!!!!!

gryffindor-terrier  asked:

Hi! congrats on the milestone! I was thinking of a super angsty wolfstar drawing after the snape prank where Sirius is on his knees holding onto Remus' sweater begging for forgiveness and Remus is silent with a stern look on his face avoiding looking at Sirius altogether and turning away from his grasp trying to get away. Thanks again! cant wait to see all of your work! I absolutely love your artwork and writing! <33

Thank you! <3 Sorry this isn’t quite what you asked for, but I hope you like it anyway!

anonymous asked:

Okay but,,,, what would Katsuki's reaction be if Izuku had been killed or horribly injured while protecting him?? I'm sorry--

He’s in denial at first.
He sees Izuku fall to the ground, and the amount of blood that splattered across his face, and the puddle that would be pooling around Izuku’s body…and in Katsuki’s head he thinks: its not as bad as it looks, it couldn’t be as bad as it looks. Because Izuku is powerful. And strong. And he would get up, after Katsuki was done murdering that villain, and they’d both be recognized for their efforts.

Katsuki feels enraged and denial immediately. He steps over Izuku, who’s taking shaky, uneven breaths.
“Don’t worry Deku… I’ll kick his ass for us. Then we’ll go to the hospital. ” and Katsuki rushes forward then, going straight for the villain. He wouldn’t stop until the villain shed more blood than Izuku. Until the villain’s body was unrecognizable. Because even though he wouldn’t believe Izuku is harmed that badly, he had an uncomfortable ache swelling in his chest.

Izuku watches Katsuki’s back as he runs ahead. He feels tears swelling in his eyes, as he lifts a trembling hand. His voice is barely audible when he speaks.
“Dont go.. I just want.. to kiss you one last time..”

Because Izuku knows. His body is already starting to go numb. His hand thats lifted eventually collapses to the ground. His breaths are less frequent, and suddenly his vision is coming and going. He can’t hear whats going on around him anymore, even though Katsuki is letting off explosion after explosion. Izuku’s eyes open one last time, before closing again. They dont open anymore.. but despite that, he feels comforted. Memories of him and Katsuki start flooding into his mind. Their first kiss, their first dance, their wedding. The laughter, dates, and good times they shared. A smile kissed his lips, as his last breath is given. Katsuki doesn’t know it yet. He wont check on Izuku again until he knows that villain is killed.

And it happens. It takes him another hour, but he burns that villain to death. Breaks any bone he can. Disfigures them as best as he can. And then he goes back to Izuku.

As he gets back to Izuku, his entire body goes cold. Izuku is laying there, his blood around him. Izuku looks lifeless.. but hes just asleep. Yeah, hes just sleeping. Because theres no way he’d lose his life to that villain..

Katsuki kneels down beside Izuku’s body.
“C'mon Deku..” he says quiet. He sits in silence, and he lifts a hand setting it on Izuku’s hand. Hes trying really hard to ignore the cold feeling in Izuku’s fingers. “I said c'mon Deku.. every thing is okay now.”

And then Izuku’s body is a blurr. Tears already built up in Katsuki’s eyes, as he’s answered by nothing but the silence. He waits eagerly, wishing so bad that the quiet would go away. He couldnt hate the silence more than he did right then and there. When was Izuku’s voice going to break it? When was Izuku going to comfort him? Tell him they won? When was he?

“….Deku.. you’re..” Violently, Katsuki shook his head. He scooped up Izuku’s lifeless body in his arms. He needed to get Izuku to the doctor- because hed be okay then. They’d heal him up, and the silence would finally be broken!

How Katsuki wished that was the case..

He got Izuku to the closest hospital, but it didnt matter. The nurses took Izuku’s body and found he had already passed on a while ago. They told Katsuki the news.
It sounded foreign to him. He shook his head, not bothering to wipe the tears that started falling.
“Bull shit! Fucking bull shit! Where is he?? Let me see him, you shitty nurses! How can you not do anything?!”

It took them a while to calm Katsuki down, but they eventually succeed. They lead him to the room Izuku is laying in.

“Izuku..” Katsuki’s voice breaks finally. He leans himself over Izuku’s body. The fact that its so cold, the fact that he cant feel Izuku’s breathing.. it really starts to sink in.. Izuku is gone.. and its Katsuki’s fault. “Fuck.. Im sorry.. Im so fucking sorry..” he moves in and kisses Izuku’s lips last time. “Its all my fault.. its my god damn fault.. I should be laying here not you.. not you..”

“Kacchan..”

How is he hearing that voice?

“Kacchan..”

Where is it coming from?

“Kacchan.. open your eyes..”
And he does.. and above him is Izuku. Wild hair, green hues, that chubby freckled face, staring down at him. Katsuki’s eyes fill up with tears and instantly grabs hold of Izuku. He grips him hard enough to bruise, and he starts to sob.

Izuku winces from the hold but allows it, and wraps his arms around Katsuki. “It was a dream.. whatever happened.. its not real..”

“Dont.. ever fucking leave me..”

“I wont Kacchan..”

(I needed to end it happy ok)

bitchhpunk  asked:

all i wanted was to see ur amazing art.......but no........i had to read the homestuck thing.......... ;______;

B-but, didn’t I make it happy? ;w ; I really tried to redeem the sad AU D’:

Anyway, here, as a bonus for having looked for more of my art, I’ll post the one I had made on that particular AU myself (since at first, I couldn’t find the original artist to give due credit, and couldn’t well share a story without an image to sort of illustrate it.)

Punk!Percy Preppy!Annabeth
Subway Rides

Annabeth looks at the time on her phone for the fifth time and looks down the dark tunnel as the other commuters do. She’s at the farthest end because this door is near the stairs in the station she needs to get off. That doesn’t matter though, she should be able to see the train coming in just fine.

The subway should be here by now. Actually, it should have gotten to the station at 4.35pm, like every week day because that’s the exact time she takes it to go home after work.

But not today. Today its already 4.38pm and its not here yet.

And damn it if its another suicide. She internally curses. She already had to endure two of those in the last month. And its not fun at all. All the transports collapse when that happens and forget about taking the subway at least for two hours. Jesus.

The subway is not here at 4.39pm but it enters the tunnel with its bright lights exactly 4.40, Thank every divinity. Exclamation marks

‘of course’, its her only thought as the carriage door stops right in front of her, its so full of people they are all crushed against the door.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey, uh, do you have any advice for managing worship with depression? I have really been struggling lately and it impacts my ability to focus, my memory and how much energy I have and I feel kind guilty that I rarely do much. In addition, I feel like I've dissapointed loki with another suicide attempt. I've gotten help and am back in therapy but i just feel really guilty and i cant tell if I'm projecting my internal opinion of myself or if I upset him. I'm sorry for the serious topic.

Hi, Nonny. We’re sorry you’ve been struggling with depression. It’s great to hear that you’re in therapy and making strides in learning how to manage your condition.

It’s important to remember that the gods are, well, gods. If humans are capable of understanding that depression is an illness we’re stuck with through no fault of our own, then they’re more than capable. The gods won’t hold being depressed against you, any more than any other disease.

Secondly, being disappointed in someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re angry at them, or hate them, or don’t want in your life anymore. On the contrary, it means you care about them and know they could have done better. Loki doesn’t go around being intentionally cruel to devotees seeking emotional support, but he’s also not shy about showing us where and how we could have avoided mistakes if he thinks it’s warranted. It could, after all, save your life in the future.

That style of coaching works well for some people, and less well for others. If it doesn’t, you’re not doing anything wrong; it’s just a matter of personality. If you feel like it’s making things worse, you could try talking to Loki about it and see if you can maybe brainstorm some new tactics. Or it may be that he’s just not the best fit for you in terms of crisis management. There’s no shame in that, but it might be beneficial to look for someone, be they deity or human or otherwise, whose style meshes better.

As for how to manage worship day to day, I’ve found it helps to let go of preconceived notions of what worship “should” look like and focus on what actually gets stuff done. It’s our actions that change the world, not our aesthetics. And if the only action you can manage is being a little more forgiving at work that day, or spending some time laying in bed studying instead of staring at the ceiling, or even just making it through the day period, that’s still making an impact.

Here are some low-energy ideas for incorporating worship into your everyday life:

  • If you’re comfortable with it, consume food and drink offerings afterwards. That way you’re not necessarily spending extra energy on cleaning or cooking.
  • Offer water. As awesome as alcohol can be, water is still symbolic and necessary for life and all that. Odin made Agnar king as a reward for a drink.
  • Take advantage of found objects. Put that pretty rock or leaf on your shrine. Even if the object itself isn’t much, the sentiment will be appreciated.
  • Listen to devotional music (or just music you associate with Loki) during your commute or while you do chores.` Singing works too, if you’re into that.
  • Set a Loki-related image as your phone or desktop background so you’re reminded of him whenever you look at it.
  • Consider dedicating a daily task to Loki, particularly something that you find difficult to accomplish or something that helps you change your life for the better: workouts, homework, cleaning, etc.
  • Find ways you can embody Loki’s values in everyday life. Challenge assumptions. Speak difficult truths. Try to see beauty in ugly places, or opportunity in seeming disaster. Be kind to those to whom the world has been unkind.
  • Pray. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, or recited out loud.Even a quick prayer while doing something else will let the gods know they’re in your thoughts.

The paganism tag over at @the-atypical-pagan also has some good tips. And this post is a great discussion of depression in Heathenry.

Best wishes! Let us know if there’s anything else we can help with.

- Mod E

You Promised (Sherlock x Reader)

Originally posted by whenisayrunrun

Summary: You’re in love with the one person that cant love you back: Consulting detective Sherlock Holmes. the only person you’ve told is your half brother and closest friend, John Watson. but after Mary’s death, you and John have an argument, where he lets your secret slip in front of the only person who can’t know. 

Pairing: Sherlock x reader

Originally posted by hobbitbilbo

(gif not mine)

Warnings: none

Side note: I’m sorry I haven’t posted a fic in a while (woops). I’m going to try and post one every Wednesday, but I’m sorry if that doesn’t happen. And please, send me requests! my inbox is empty, and its getting kinda boring.

Lets go!


Three months ago…

“John, stop it! Be serious!” You said with a laugh.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Your half brother and best friend, John Watson giggled, “I’ll hold myself together. But Sherlock?”

“Yeah, I know, he considers himself married to his work, he doesn’t have emotions, he’ll never love me back, etcetera, etcetera. You know I cant help these things!” Your expression hardened slightly, and the giggle was now a lump stuck in your throat. Your eyes inexplicably started stinging, but you didn’t feel upset. You couldn’t understand you feelings for Sherlock, or how they came about, especially as he would never love you back. He didn’t fall in love with Irene Adler, who was a supermodel compared to you, so why would he feel for you?

“I never said you could, I’m just trying to tell you not to get your hopes up because if he ended up breaking your heart, I’d have to break his bones, and  can’t do that to my best friend.”

“I get that. Promise me you wont tell him?”

“I promise, Y/N.”

“Pinkie promise?”

John jokingly rolled his eyes, but intertwined his pinkie finger with yours anyway.

“Pinkie promise.”


Keep reading

What Can I Do?

A Seungri/Lee Seunghyun Fanfiction

Summary: He’s known as one of the most eligible bachelors in kpop, with a reputation that’s known all over South Korea. But when he sets his sights on you, determined to make you one of his conquests, you think that maybe its time for this ‘sexy boy’ to learn his lesson…

Chapter Summary: Boat rides, Needy texts and drunken seductions…

Chapter Type: Fluffy, funny, and slight angst towards the end before more fluff ;)

Author’s Note: Its always so ridiculously easy and fun to write this story :D I hope you enjoy!!

Recommended Listening: WINNER - Sentimental + Lauren Aquilina - 1975 - Sex (cover)

Chapter 8 (Coming Soon)

Chapter 7

‘A Yatch.’

You stare at the giant boat bobbing up and down in the harbour before you, your eyes glancing between it and Seungri stood next to you, grinning like a child at Christmas as he holds tightly to your hand.

'A Yacht.’ he confirms, beginning to pull you towards the stairs to get on and you shake your head in disbelief as you follow him, laughing as he waits till you’re on board, before pulling you over to the captain.

'Good Morning, Junhwae- hyung! How are you? …this is Y/N, I thought i’d bring her along today to show her the beauty of the yacht.’ Seungri says, gesturing towards a middle aged looking man who was stood in a small room at the front of the cabin, bowing when he turns to smile and greet you politely- widening his eyes slightly when he realises you obviously weren’t Korean.

'Ah, Hell-o,’ he says in rusty english, making you chuckle quietly as you quickly reassure him that you could speak Korean.

'Oh! Well then, welcome aboard!’ he says, chuckling and smiling at you, before Seungri pulls you away, telling Junhwae to go 'the usual route’.

'Whats the usual route?’ you inquire curiously, clinging to his arm as he pulls you through to the open deck of the Yatch, your mouth dropping open when you see the huge, plush seating area, the jacuzzi tub just behind it and the long bar area that ran the length of the cabin wall.

'Nice, Right?’ he asks, smiling smugly as he looks out over the area before turning to wink at you, slyly ignoring your question.

'Right.’

Keep reading

Lost || c.h.

 -based on Calum’s quote: “And you’ll move on and fall in love with another brain, another soul, and I’ll still be here. Waiting.” 

MASTERLIST

“I’m so sorry Calum, I’m not happy with you anymore.” she frowned avoiding his gaze, Calum stood speechless hearing her say those words, feeling his heart shatter to pieces. “I just want you to find someone that  will make you happy Cal.” 

“Y/n, you make me happy.” he croaked on the verge of tears. “Please, you cant leave.” 

“I’m so sorry” she whispered, y/n gave him the last kiss. Calum closed his eyes holding the onto the kiss for a couple more seconds, feeling her soft lips for the last time as tears came down his face. 


Her voice never left his head, hearing how broken she was telling him. Calum’s chest tightening whenever he was reminded of what y/n told him. 

I’m not happy with you anymore. 

Even after months Calum still felt lost without y/n, not having her around was killing him, he craved her touch, her presences . Occasionally y/n would check on Calum texting him if everything was alright and he would just respond with an ‘okay.’ He had to see her again. He often wondered if it was the same for her at one point, or if she just moved on like it was nothing. 

Calum: i need to talk to you…in person

Y/n: Oh…is everything alright Calum?

Calum: something i need to tell you y/n 

Y/n: Oh okay i should be back from work in an hour if you want to stop by. 


Calum wasnt sure how he was going to do this, how to tell her that he never stopped caring for her. Calum would promise her the world if that meant he could her back by his side, taking over the world. 

His heart raced the closer he got to her apartment, uncertain if this was a good idea. He mentally prepared himself standing outside her door knocking a few times waiting for y/n but instead having a tall guy stand in front of him. 

“Is y/n here?” he asked unsure if this was the right door. 

“Um-no she’s still at work.What are you where for?” giving Calum a questionable look. “I-just wanted to talk to her, I’m a friend.” he paused. “And you are?” 

“I’m her boyfriend Alex.” he answered back.  

Calum stood silent not knowing how to react to y/n already moving on, finding someone new. Forgetting everything that happened between them.  “You can come in and wait for her until she comes back.” Alex offered opening the door wider.

“Uh-no that’s okay. It was nothing important anyway.” letting himself out the complex, there was no point of telling her if she already moved on. His hands were deep inside his pockets walking back home mid afternoon, looking down the sidewalk trying not to break down in tears. He wanted to fix things again, but it was too late to fix what was already broken.  

She moved on and fell in love with another brain, another soul, and I’ll still be here. Waiting.

Hurt.

A/n: requested by this lovely new blog > @daryladdixon < go check it out :).
_________________________________

Going on a supply run was never my favorite thing to do.
I rather just watch the gate or cook for the group.
But i know it is necessary and everyone needs to do a part to make this small society work.

“(Y/n)!” I heard rick shout behind me.
I stop walking and turn around so i face him.

“(Y/n), glad i found you.” Rick greeted me, putting his hand on my shoulder.

“I know its already late but i was wondering if you could go on a supply run for me, we are running low on baby food.”

“Yea sure.” I say with a small sigh.

“Something wrong?” Concern clearly in Rick his voice.

“What? Oh no no.” I shake my head.
“I just dont want to go alone.”

“Thats fine, hey Daryl!” He shouts.
“Come here for a second!”

Daryl nods and walks up to me and Rick.
I give him a small smile and he gives me a nod in return.

“Do you mind going on a run with (y/n)?”

Daryl looks at me and a smirk forms on his face, laying his arm on my shoulder so he leans on me.

“Ya sure ya can handle that (y/l/n)?” He chuckles.
I push his arm of my shoulder.

“Ofcourse i can dixon.” I tease him back.

“Then lets go.” And with that he starts heading to the gate.
I follow immediately.

Rick told us he saw a small store not far from Alexandria so Daryl and i start heading there.

“I think if we take a right here it’ll be shorter.” I tell Daryl.

“I aint taking no short cut.” Daryl grunts and keeps walking straight.
Not wanting to split up i start walking behind him.
A few miles later we see the store on the horizon.

“Yes! Finally!” I shout.
But i get hushed by Daryl who puts his hand infront of my mouth.
I look at him confused.

“Don’t want ya to attract walkers.” He says calmly.

“Sorry..” I whisper and look at him with puppy eyes.

“S'fine.” He chuckles.
“And stop givin me those damn puppy eyes.”

Even though he wont admit it, he can’t resist my puppy eyes.
It doesnt take long before we are infront of the store.
Daryl takes out his knife and starts pounding on the door to see if any walkers are in there.

A few pairs of hands start touching the door.
Daryl looks at me while i take out my own knife and give him a nod.
He opens the door and the walkers start piling out.
We easely overpower those things.

It doesnt take long before we enter the store.
We find a few things that Judith can eat.
So we put it in the backbag Daryl is carrying with him.
We check out the store one last time to make sure we didn’t miss anything.

On the way back i suggest the short cut again.

“Its already getting darker, why dont we take that road back? Its shorter.”

“Yer not afraid of the dark are ya?”

“What no! I just want to be home before it gets dark you know, safety and all.”

“I told ya before, i aint takin’ no short cut!”

I start to get frustrated at this point so i raise my voice.

“What do you have against short cuts and safety?! You know what dixon-”
I suddenly feel a sharp stinging pain in my lower left stomach.
My hands follow the pain and i press them against it.

I look down at my hands and back up to Daryl and show how my bloody hand.
Suddenly shots can be heared from a direction i cant really make it.
Everything goes black infront of my eyes.
The last thing i remember is Daryl shouting my name.

I hear voices talking but i cant make out what they are saying.
Everything sounds like a blur.

“We’ll leave you alone.” I hear Rick say.
My hearing gets clearer as time goes by.
I hear footsteps coming closer and a door close.
A weight sits down on my right.
I must be back in Alexandria.

“I’m so sorry (y/n).” I hear Daryl mutter silently.

“It’s all mah fault, if i just listened to ya.” I feel his hand holding mine.

“Am so sorry.” I feel something wet falling on my hand.
Is he crying?
The Daryl Dixon, crying?
I try to open my eyes but my body doesnt seem to listen to me.

“Please just.. Just wake up.” He exhales loudly.
Finally i can move my index finger up and down.
My body slowly listening back to me.

I flutter my eyes open only to squint them because the light is very bright.
A silent grunt escapes my mouth.

“(Y/n)?” Daryl asks cautiously.
I fully open my eyes after they adjusted to the light.

“Dar-” Before i can even finish his name he pulls me into a hug.

“Auwh!” I wince of the pain.

“Sorry.” He apologizes.
“Got a bit too excited bout the fact u woke up.”

“How long was i out?”

“Few hours.”

“What happend?”

Daryl explains that we were followed by some group.
They shot me from inside the bushes and tried to steal the baby food Daryl and i had found.
Daryl overpowered them and carried me and the backbag back to Alexandria.

I force myself to sit up right even though it hurts really bad.
Wrapping my arms around Daryl his neck, pulling him in for a hug.

“Thank you.” I whisper while i lay my head on his shoulder.
He pushed me back a bit and looks me in the eye.

“Did- did i do something wrong?”
His eyes trail from mine to my lips back to my eyes.
He then start to close the space between us, pulling me in for a soft short kiss.
My eyes widen in shock but i close them as fast.
Enjoying Daryl his lips moving in sync with mine.
It feels like they belonged there for my whole life.

He pulls away and rests his forehead on mine.

“I aint letting anyone hurt ya ever again.”

I give him a small smile and pull him in for another kiss.
Not caring about the pain anymore.
________________________________
I hope you enjoyed, feel free to follow/request/feedback.
Much love! :D

Yours, Bucky Barnes

To: WANDA 

I HAD ANOTHER NIGHTMARE BUT IT LOOKED DIFFERENT TO THE OTHER ONES 

YOU WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A RUINED CITY AND EVERYONE WAS STARING AT ME BECAUSE I DON’T DESERVE YOU

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

I WISH THINGS WERE DIFFERENT. I USED TO BE DIFFERENT. I USED TO BE SO DIFFERENT I WISH YOU COULD HAVE SEEN IT. THAT VERSION OF ME WOULD HAVE ASKED YOU OUT ALL PROPER AND WE WOULD HAVE GONE DANCING AND I’D LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AND I WOULDN’T ALWAYS BE SO UNSURE OF EVERYTHING

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

I SEE THE TENDER WAY YOU TOUCH THINGS AND I WANT TO KISS YOUR NOSE

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

YOU TOLD ME HOW YOU SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE IT’S YOUR POWER THAT CONTROLS YOU AND THAT YOU ARE AFRAID AND I WANTED TO TELL YOU NOT TO BE AFRAID I WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW STRONG I THINK YOU ARE AND HOW BRAVE AND HOW MUCH I ADMIRE YOU, THAT I’VE NEVER REALLY ADMIRED ANYONE UNTIL YOU

BUT I DIDN’T

I DON’T KNOW WHY

IT’S HARD TO SORT OUT MY THOUGHTS SOMETIMES

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

I DON’T KNOW HOW IT IS THAT YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M WORTH ANYTHING MORE THAN A MONSTROUS SHADOW OF A STRANGER I USED TO BE

BUT YOU’RE A MUCH BETTER PERSON THAN I AM

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

I DON’T KNOW IF YOU CAN SEE INSIDE MY HEAD I REALLY HOPE YOU CAN’T BECAUSE YOU WOULD NEVER LOOK AT ME AGAIN

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

I WANT TO LOVE YOU BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW

I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

I TALKED TO STEVE ABOUT YOU

HE TOLD ME ‘YOU BE CAREFUL WITH THAT, OK? IT’S A TIME-BOMB IF YOU USE IT WRONG AND IF YOU HURT THAT GIRL, I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF’ AND I KNOW HE DIDN’T MEAN IT BUT I ALSO KNOW HE DID AND I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW

I KNOW

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

YOU TOLD ME TODAY HOW YOU LOST YOUR RELIGION AFTER THE SOKOVIAN WAR AND I DON’T THINK THAT SOMETHING HAS EVER MADE ME SO SAD

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

I’M SORRY ABOUT TODAY AND I’M SORRY I NEVER LET YOU ALL THE WAY IN I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY

I CANT HOLD ON TO ANYTHING AND NO ONE CAN HOLD ON TO ME AND I DON’T GET MY HOPES UP AND I DON’T GET DISAPPOINTED AND I DON’T EXPECT YOU TO CARE BUT YOU DO AND IT CONFUSES ME AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

I HEAR YOU CRYING IN YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

I DON’T THINK YOU’VE EVER SAID A CRUEL WORD YOU ACTUALLY MEANT

[send/delete]


To: WANDA

I WANT THIS TO BE SOME GRAND MARVELOUS DISPLAY OF WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU BUT

I AM SCARED YOU WON’T WANT ME

AND I AM TERRIFIED THAT YOU WILL

[send/delete]

Date with Mr Dixon.

Summary: Daryl asks you to have dinner with him.
Warnings: Swearing, fluff.

You were walking around Alexandria with Judith on your hip, getting some fresh air. It was a routine you did everyday for about an hour, and today Maggie joined you.
“Are you looking forward to your date tonight with Mr Dixon?” She smirked nudging you.
“Fuck Maggie, its not a date!” You blushed. You really liked Daryl. You had met the group at terminus and they saved you. You had become a valuable member of the group and loved them all. Daryl never spoke to you much, he would try but he would get shy and trip over his words, so he would get angry with himself. You just thought he didn’t like you very much, which is why you were shocked when he asked you to dinner yesterday.

You were walking with Judith as you passed Daryl sat on the porch.
“Hey Daryl.” You smiled warmly at him. He smiled back.
“Hey…” You were about to walk passed him when he started talking again.
“I-I was just wonderin’ if ya’d um… if ya’d wanna have dinner with me tomorrow night?” He asked shyly. He rubbed his neck awkwardly.
“Of course, that sounds lovely.” He relaxed at your words and nodded.
“Come around 7, and um… dress nice.” He smiled slightly before he got up and quickly walked indoors..

You remember his words, ‘Dress nice.’ A little vague. You couldn’t help but inwardly chuckle.
“What do I wear Maggie? I don’t think its a date but he said to dress nice.”
“I think that black halter dress is nice.” She smiled. “And it IS a date.” She smirked again.

You didn’t know it, but it was a date. Daryl had been wanting to make a move for a long time, but was too shy. Rick finally convinced him to go for it and suggested dinner. Daryl was so anxious. He made sure to kick Glenn and Maggie out in time so you had the place to yourselves to relax.
It was nearly time and you gave yourself a last look over in the mirror. You were wearing a cute black halter dress with a sweetheart neckline. It cinched in at your waist before flaring out. It was thigh high, so it was a little short for someone who normally wore pants. You paired it with some nice black wedges. You’d put on a little mascara to accentuate you’re eyes and your hair was half up half down. You felt pretty for once. You made your way downstairs to see Glenn and Maggie in the kitchen.
“You look amazing y/n!” Maggie smiled.
“Yeah, Daryls gonna love it. Enjoy your date.” Glenn said.
“Its not a date!” You laughed as you walked to the door.
“It’s totally a date.” He smirked before you left.

You knocked on Daryls door feeling awkward, normally you’d just walk in, but you felt like you should knock this time. Daryl answered the door wearing his black jeans and a nice grey shirt with the sleeves slightly rolled up. He looked sexy as hell.
“Wow Daryl.” You blurted out before you could stop yourself. “You look really handsome.” You smiled at him. He blushed and looked down for a moment.
“You look beautiful y/n.” He said shyly. Now it was your turn to blush. He let you in the house and you gasped. He had set the dining table up with candles, wine and a vase with a pretty flower in the centre. It was so romantic.
“Oh my God.” You whispered. His face fell and he looked at you.
“What? Is it too much? I knew it was too much.” He sighed pacing a little. You grabbed his arm to stop him.
“No, its perfect.” You smiled sweetly at him. He sighed with relief and smiled.
“Good. Um…sit, I’ll serve food.”
You walked to the table and he pulled your chair out for you. You couldn’t help but blush, he was being so sweet. You ate food and made small talk, things like what you’d done that day.

“This is amazing Daryl. Did you make it yourself?” You smiled as you finished your food.
“Yeah, well Carol told me how to make it but I did it myself.”
You smiled warmly at him and took his hand in yours from across the table. He looked at you and smiled shyly.

“Thank you for all this Daryl, I’ve really enjoyed it. No ones ever made an effort like this for me before.” He rubbed your hand with his thumb.
“S’nothin’. Ya deserved somethin’ nice.” He said modestly with a smile.
“I’d really like it if we um…did this again sometime. I like spendin’ time with ya.”
You blushed at his words. Maybe this was a date after all.
“I’d love that. Maybe you could take me hunting sometime. I’d love to learn how to track and hunt.” You smiled. He looked surprised but nodded his head.
“I’d like that.” He smiled. “We could start tomorrow?” He asked enthusiastically.
“That would be awesome.” You smiled squeezing his hand.
You both jumped as the door knocked, Daryl let out an annoyed growl.
“Sorry.” He sighed as he got up, feeling the loss of your hand. He opened the door to see an apologetic Rick stood there holding Judith.
“I’m sorry Daryl, Abe’s not feeling to good, I need you to take over his watch.”
“Cant someone else do it?” Daryl asked frustrated.
“I need you Daryl, sorry.” Daryl just nodded at him and Rick left. You’d heard the exchange so you came to the door.

“M’sorry, I gotta take over watch.” He frowned.
“It’s fine. I had a really nice time tonight Daryl, I really appreciate it.” You smiled at him.
“I had a good time too. I’ll come get ya tomorrow morning for huntin’” He said with a slight smile.
You leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, lingering a little longer than needed, making him blush.
“Goodnight Daryl.” You said softly as you walked out the door.
“G’night y/n.” He said, smiling to himself as he shut the door.

To be continued…

Invisible || FINAL

Originally posted by itslukehemmings

Part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

Y/n was completely speechless looking at him, tears brimming her eyes. “I’m sorry Calum, I cant. I’m so sorry.” she cried. Y/n turned around opening the door, quickly walking to the elevator. Calum stood there in shock to her response,but he ran out trying to catch her. “Y/n!” he yelled. 


Y/n felt horrible leaving so suddenly, never knowing how much of an impact she had on him. She only wished to give him a better life, for him to be happy but she wouldnt be happy moving back to California with him, everything would be the same. Y/n would be miserable again.     

I wish I could promise you that Calum, I really do

 Y/n waited in front of the elevator impatiently pressing the button. She so badly wanted to run back into Calum’s arms. To try to reason with him into his decision. The door slowly rang open,she stepped inside pressing the first number on the elevator button when she heard Calum calling after her, “Y/n!” She saw a glimpse of him turning the corner just before the doors shut. The floor levels going down slow. y/n leaned on the wall, “I’m so sorry.”

Stopping at the hotel main floor, y/n ran out, leaving the hotel foyer into the freezing night of winter, the moon and streetlights being the only source of light.  Cold, condensed air escaping her lips, hands in her pockets taking the sights of the dark sky walking down three blocks back to her apartment. 

The key slowly unlocking the front door, stepping inside her quiet home. She threw the key on the table heading for bedroom. Y/n stripped herself off of her clothes and into her pajamas, onto her queen size bed. Staring at the ceiling reliving the moment she visited Calum again, over and over. Wishing it went differently.  

This isnt how I wanted to say goodbye 


“Fuck!” Calum yelled in frustration, trying to think of a way to see y/n again. Things were being thrown around the room, clothes, empty bottles, anything he got a hold of trying to think of a way. His chest felt tight thinking of y/n, how it felt to have her under him, her body close to his. Y/n always made things better even when he was in a bad mood. Y/n made everything a million times better. 

I have to see her again

There was a soft knock on the door before it opened, “Calum?” he turned around thinking it was y/n but it was just Ashton. “Dont forget we have to check out by 11 tonight.” he reminded, Calum sighed grabbing a cigarette and his lighter needing a break, “Right.” 

Ashton shoved his hands in his pockets,  “Hey-um did someone came to see you by any chance?” Ashton wondered. “Yeah y/n.” he said without any emotion in his voice. “Oh-ho-”

“She ran off.” Calum interrupted. Ashton gave Calum a confused look, not sure what he meant by that. “I’m sorry.”

Calum shrugged looking out the window. “Well I’m going to leave you alone.” he said awkwardly letting himself out. Calum went out into the balcony lighting his third cigarette, strong winds hitting his body glancing at the cloudy dark sky. He sighed heavily, thinking about how he promised her everything. He would give anything up it that meant he could be with her again.

Calum felt relaxed inhaling the last part of the cigarette, stopping it on the ground going back inside. He packed all of his clothes inside his suitcase, cleaning up a bit before it was time to leave still thinking o a way to find y/n.


A loud knock was being heard on y/n’s door while she asleep, at first she didnt hear but it became louder. Her cat pounced on her stomach trying to wake her; she groaned loudly, “What.” turning over to the nightstand, getting a hold of her phone showing the time of 3:28 am. “Fuck.” she said as the knocking became louder and harder. “Hold on!” she yelled getting off of bed. Stretching out her arms, she went out to the living room, opening the door wide in anger, “What! Wait-Calum?” she said surprised. 

 “Hey.” he said nervously, “We need to talk.” letting himself in, y/n closed the door after him to exhausted to ask how he knew where she lived. “Calum dont you have to leave soon for your flight?” she wondered. 

“Dont worry about it.” 

“Your going to miss your flight if you dont leave!” she replied. 

“Not until we talk.” he said. 

“What’s so important to talk about thats going to make you miss your flight.” 

“Look I know what you said last night, but I cant let you go. Please I cant go back home without you I need you to be here with me. And if not then I will stay here with you.” grabbing a hold of her hand, “You cant, you have to go home Calum.” she soothed. Calum disagreed, “I cant.” y/n knew he was going crazy at this point, “I’m sorry. I’m going to call a taxi for you.” y/n went out to get her phone but he got a hold of y/n’s waist, smashing his lips on hers. Calum’s partly chapped lips on hers, tasting his cigarette breathe not even resisting. Calum wrapping his arms tights around her tiny waist, remembering every moment they spent together. Y/n realizing how much she missed this. 

Calum let go of the kiss, resting his forehead on hers, “I love you, and I’m willing to give up anything for you.”

“I love you Calum.” she admitted, crying on his chest grabbing a hold of his shirt shaking her head, “What’s wrong princess.” he soothed rubbing her back, keeping her close. “This cant work Calum, I’m sorry it wont.” she sobbed. “I cant give you want you want, I wont be happy if I do.” Y/n looked up into his eyes, “ You cant leave everything you worked for me please, you cant leave your best buds and millions of your fans for me. This is just another bad breakup.” 

He shook his head in disbelief, “No it’s not y/n we cant end like this, were married. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and only you.” 

“I cant give you that.” she whispered. Calum continued to hold her close refusing to let her go.

 “I’m sorry y/n I never meant for you to feel like this in the first place, I wish things were different. It’s all my fault.” he cried. 

“No Calum.” she looked up at him wiping away his tears, “I’m sorry, I never wanted for you to worry when I left I wanted you to move on.” 

“How can I move on when your constantly on my mind.” he whimpered pushing her hair behind her eyes. Y/n held Calum’s soft face wiping off his tears with her thumb, “Baby promise me you will find a girl who will love you better than I ever will, that will give you what you always wanted. Continue to have fun with your best friends playing music for your fans. Dont worry about me okay? Please?” y/n begged. 

There was no point of auguring with y/n anymore, but he would try to do it if that made her happy,  “Okay, for you y/n. I will always love you though, forever and always.” he said kissing her forehead. “Forever and always.” she repeated giving him a half smile. 

“I’m going to call a taxi for you okay? When does your flight leave?” she asked asked. 

“In about an hour.” 

“Okay, you can take a seat on the couch and relax.” she said pointing to it, Calum hesitantly walked over taking a seat while y/n went to get phone calling the taxi service.


“Taxi should be here soon.” she said coming out of her bedroom. Y/n went to sit next to Calum, resting her head on his shoulders. They sat there in silence, admiring each other. “Come here.” Calum said guiding her to sit on his lap. Her legs laying across his lap having her head buried in the crook of his neck. It felt nice having y/n on him again like before.  

“So how is living here?” 

“I love it, there’s so much to do here.” she mumbled. 

Caum hummed in response. “Are you excited for tour?” y/n asked. 

“Yeah I’m super pumped but a bit nervous.” 

“Your going to do fine, you always do.” she smiled. “Mhm.” Calum hummed holding her waist. James came out of y/n’s room walking into the kitchen, “Who’s that little guy.” Calum said. Y/n turned around seeing James hop on the table, “That’s my cat James.” she giggled “He’s a weird cat.” 

“I’m more of a dog person.” Calum joked, “I know you are.” she laughed. 


They continued to stay there in silence, close to each other until a loud car horn went off from outside, “I think that’s your ride.” y/n whispered getting off of him. “Right.” Calum stood up grabbing his suitcase heading for the door, “Oh and Cal?  I need you to throw all the stuff I left back at home if there still there.” Calum sighed, knowing it was going to be hard throwing everything they have, but he would still keep the photos, “I will.” 

Y/n went on her toes giving him on last kiss, “I’m going to miss you so fucking much y/n.” he admitted. “I love you, and I always will.” giving her a tight hug. The last time seeing y/n again. “Bye Calum.” 

I fade away, lost inside a memory of someone’s life
It wasn’t mine

He walked out of her apartment complex outside to the taxi. He threw his suitcase in the back seat, joining with the driver in the passenger seat. Calum looked up at her window as the car drove off thinking of what y/n said, about moving on, throwing away her stuff; and honestly he couldnt do it, but he would try for y/n, if that would make her happy. 

I was already missing before the night I left
Just me and my shadow and all of my regrets
Who am I? Who am I when I don’t know myself?
Who am I? Who am I? Invisible

 Calum paid him the fee after arriving to the airport, getting his suitcase from the back seat heading inside. Fans were still there screaming, he really wasnt in the mood for pictures. He went passed them finding his boarding area, not caring less if he missed his flight of not. 

The TV giving out information on flights for departure, leaving in twenty minutes. Wondering around the airport until he found the rest of his band. “Calum where the hell have you been were about to leave!” Michael yelled. He turned around to the three of waiting for their flight. “I went to see y/n again.” he admitted. 

“Oh how did that go? Is she coming back?” Luke asked. Calum sighed glancing down, “No, she couldnt do it.” Michael, Luke, and Ashton gave each other worried looks. “I’m sorry man, maybe its for the best.” Michael added. “Maybe.” he said. 

Flight 1429 now boarding to Los Angeles, California. 

“That’s our flight.” Ashton said, everyone grabbed their belongings getting in line. No one talked during the wait, the three boys wanted to give Calum space for a bit. Give him time to think. 

The line got shorter and shorter, Calum showed the attendant his plane ticket, walking down the terminal onto the plane putting his suitcase above him. Taking his seat plugging in earphones waiting for the plane to lift off. 

Another day, the walls are built to keep me safe
I can’t escape, it’s too late

Watching the city lights 20,000 feet in the air, splattered stars covering the sky. Dark plane, the quiet snores of people and some awake. Wishing y/n was beside him holding her hand making their way back home. But instead going back home alone admiring the same stars y/n saw when she left years ago. 

A/N: Yeah so that’s the ending of Invisible. Sorry if its not the ending you hoped for! I still hoped you enjoyed it so glad a lot of you guys loved it! xxx

-Kyana 

MLFK: I Wont Let You Leave.

Thank you to the anonymous person who requested this for being patient, I got backed up a bit this weekend on requests. love you! 
Warning: Minor Violence, from Bullying
(Hiroki & Ayato)


Prologue:
It happened again. As you were coming home back from work, the same three girls who keep messing with you about dating your boyfriend are there waiting for you. They want you to break. They don’t want you both together, maybe you shouldn’t be together. But you love him, you love him dearly and so much. It kills you, it hurts you the fact of breaking up with him. As you walk by not making eye contact, praying maybe they wont do anything this time, you were wrong, so totally wrong. They wanted to hurt you, they want this to happen until you finally break up with him saying your done. It hurts thinking about not being with the love of your life.As you walk past the girls they start laughing at you “What a slut” one of the girls called out, you ignored it the best you could, “She will never be good enough for him, its so gross” as you kept your head high the next thing you knew someone grabs your shoulder “Hey bitch were talking to you!” as one of the girls punches you yet again, leaving another bruise on you, that you would have to lie about. As you tried hitting back to stick up for yourself, they jump you. Jumped you once again, he had no idea any of this was going on. You didn’t want to tell him to worry him, it wouldn’t be good for his career knowing someone who will eventually will be a burden on him. “JUST BREAK UP WITH HIM!” as the one girl screams in your face, you were on the ground covered in cuts and bruises, as you just watched the three of them walk away, all you could sit there and cry. They were right, you weren’t good enough for them. Going back to the place where you guys shared, you knew he had a late night, its a normal Friday, he was always late. So you decided to pack a bag and check into a hotel, until you could get back on your feet. You didn’t want to worry him and this wasn’t good for his career, you aren’t giving up on him, as you write a note clearly stating that you cant be here anymore. You were fried with the pain and abuse.

                                            Letter:
                       I’m sorry it had to be like this, me being gone when you come                    home, just know I will always love you and care for you, I hope one    day you will forgive me and accept my friendship, Us being together isn't good     for your career, a few girls knew about me not being good enough for you and      I agree, I’m sorry I couldn’t be better for you, I promise I will get the rest of                  my stuff out of here soon when I get the chance.
                         I will always love you, never forget that.

                        
Leaving the letter on the table, next to your apartment key you walk out crying with your bag, heading to your hotel.

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so like, I’ve thought about this a lot, and I havent seen anyone say anything about this

i want Lori and Bobby to have a nice and happy relationship, but i also want Lincoln and Ronnie Anne to have a happy relationship

and for those of you who are against incest ships im sorry but technically you shouldnt ship both Babe and Bobby BooBoo Bear and Roncoln

because say Lori and Bobby get married, okay? that would technically make Lincoln and Ronnie Anne siblings through marriage, and therefore be unable to date. now, I know, none of these characters relationship futures are set in stone, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne might end up as best friends starting in middle school

but hey, maybe, Lori and Bobby dont work out in the end, and Lincoln and Ronnie manage to hold a relationship through both middle and high school. if they get married in the future, I just end up feeling bad about how awkward things would be between Bobby and Lori

all im saying, canonically, they both cant happen. and the fact nobody else has mentioned this is rather surprising. i know what you people do (sorry to say this and be creepy but i sort of loom over this fandom like a fucking reaper im sorry)

but yeah, im just putting that out there. i adore both ships but i know they both cant survive

Smile

MOVIE : MAZE RUNNER
COUPLE : NEWT X READER
RATING : CUTE
REQUEST :

Hey! I have a little request in mind, it would be a Newt x reader imagine. Maybe where she’s sad, and Newt try everything he can to make her smile and laugh. A lot of fluff and cuteness! Thanks :)

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