cannot control feels


Sometimes you cannot control how you feel or react. It’s okay. You’re okay.

Be careful when you allow your happiness to be affected by whether or not others are happy. One cannot control the thoughts and feelings of others, and so one can be put into a state of vulnerability. Be careful, and take care.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin
You cannot control your thoughts, and you cannot control your feelings, because there is no controller. You are your thoughts and your feelings, and they are running along, running along, running along.

Just sit and watch them. There they go. You are still breathing, aren’t you? Still growing your hair; still seeing and hearing. Are YOU doing that? Is breathing something that YOU do? Do you see? Do you organize the operations of your eyes, and know exactly how to work those rods and cones in the retina? Do you do that?

It happens, and it is a happening. Your breathing is happening. Your thinking is happening. Your feeling is happening. Your hearing, your seeing, the clouds are happening across the sky. The sky is happening blue; the sun is happening shining. There it is: all this happening. May I introduce you? This is yourself. This is a vision of who you really are, and the way you really function. You function by happening, that is to say, by spontaneous occurrence.

This is not a state of affairs that you should realize. I cannot possibly preach about it to you, because the minute you start thinking, ‘I should understand that,’ the stupid notion that ‘I’ should bring it about arises again, when there is no ‘you’ to bring it about. That is why I am not preaching. You can only preach to egos. All I can do is talk about what is.

Once you have seen this you can return to the world of practical affairs with a new spirit. You have seen that the universe is at root a magical illusion and a fabulous game, and that there is no separate ‘you’ to get something out of it, as if life were a bank to be robbed.

The only real ‘you’ is the one that comes and goes, manifests and withdraws itself eternally in and as every conscious being. For ‘you’ is the universe looking at itself from billions of points of view, points that come and go so that the vision is forever new.

You do not ask what is the value, or what is the use, of this feeling. Of what use is the universe? What is the practical application of a million galaxies?
—  Alan Watts
Hold Me Tight | two

Originally posted by kyungsuhos

genre: fluff/angst

word count: 12.5k

preview, one

this is narrated in third person

Kyungsoo was happy to finally be home, have some time with his wife. He knew that she wasn’t doing very well in the past few days. She had been keeping more and more to herself lately, barely saying a word most days, never looking in his eyes for longer than one second.

He also knew that he was lacking in many ways, knew that he was messing up lately. Ever since Eun Suk had showed up again she made sure that she was the only thing Kyungsoo could see. He felt tired just by looking at her, having to be around her, having to play along with her jokes. It’s true that they had some kind of affair many year before, before he even dreamed of meeting Eun Byul, but it ended just as fast as it had begun. Kyungsoo soon realized that the two of them had very different views of the world. But as soon as Eun Suk showed up again it seemed that she wanted to revive the past, even though she already knew Kyungsoo was married.

Even his close friend, Baekhyun, told him that Eun Byul had been acting off, in a way she never truly did. His friend noticed how his wife seemed that much more tense quieter. “She won’t even laugh at my stupid jokes anymore”, Baekhyun had said.

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Dating El Diablo would include:

Originally posted by fuck-svpreme

Requested by Anon. 

Request: Hiya! I’ve just seen your last imagine with digger and I love it.. Could you do the Same with Chato Santaba? “imagine dating el Diablo, and what would that entail” thanks! ^-^

Warning: Fluff and a bit Smut

A/N: Aww thank you! Of course, I’ll do Chato headcanons. He’s my sweet baby and he deserves everything good in the world. 

In public:

  • Holding hands when going out for a walk.
  • People staring at Chato because of his tattoos.
    • You glaring back at them when they murmur something under their breath.
  • Him kissing your cheek every now and then. 
  • Him keeping you warm during cold winter walks.
  • Going on dates and never going to the same place (excluding the cinema) again because he doesn’t want you to have a boring date with him. 
    • Him always wanting to pay for you.
    • Him being very stubborn about it.  
  • Him introducing you to the squad when they see Chato with you walking around the city at night.
    • Captain Boomerang asking you if you need a new, better boyfriend. 
    • Chato threatening calmly to set Pinky on fire if he doesn’t get lost.
    • Harley Quinn cooing and telling you how cute you both are.
      • Her telling you in secret to be careful.  

In private:

  • Sweet kisses. 
  • Him calling you cute nicknames. 
    • You not understanding every nickname. 
  • Watching your favourite movies and tv shows together.
    • Lots of cuddling. 
    • Falling asleep during the movie. 
  • Him slapping your ass and laughing when you squeal.
  • Having awesome sex.
    • He knows how to make you feel good with only his touches.
    • Trying out rough sex and you being surprised when Chato’s being very dominant.  
  • Chato revealing his past and you comforting him, telling him it was an accident. 
  • Fighting. 
    • About the dangerous mission with the squad. 
    • Him always running away when he has the feeling he cannot control himself. 
    • You feeling bad for making him run away.
    • You both apologizing.
      • Sometimes make-up sex with lots of cuddling afterwards.
  • Chato being very careful with his powers around you.
    • Too careful.
  • Chato showing you his true form after two years into your relationship. 
    • You being shocked, but not afraid.
    • You calling him a God amongs human.
    • “I’m no God, [Y/N]. They call me Devil.”
    • “Bullshit, you’re pretty awesome. Oh, stop sulking and kiss me already.”   

  • You telling him you’re pregnant.
    • “Chato? I think I’m pregnant.”
    • Him being afraid at first and you assuring him that he’ll be a great dad.
    • Him being very happy about the child. 
  • Him being super careful around you during the prenancy. 
    • Chato doing almost everything for you.
    • You being very moody.
  • Having twins. 
  • Him buying you too many roses after you gave birth to them.
  • Harley Quinn coming over because she loves babies. 
    • You suspecting that she wants to have children with the Joker.
  • Deadshot congratulating both of you.
  • Digger coming over and giving the twins their own ‘Pinkies’ and him apologizing about the rude remarks he made.

  • Him proposing to you during a candle light dinner in Mexico.
  • You crying and squealing ten times ‘yes’.
  • You telling Chato to invite the squad to the wedding because they’re his only family. 
  • Chato and you being on a three week honeymoon in Mexico. 
  • Deadshot looking after the twins.
    • Turns out the twins are metahumans (Pyrokinesis/Cryokinesis).
  • Chato being worried but you assure him that everything will be fine.
    • You’re right. Everything turns out to be okay. 

(Requests for Imagines and Headcanons are open.) 

The Epic of Chandra Nalaar: The Spark

Book 1: Spark

She’s a little Spark
Child of Pia and Kiran
A rebel at heart

Sent on a mission
to deliver a package
“Take this to, young one,

“Ovitya Pashiri,”
Kiran says. “Long time friend.
Family really.

“Be careful my Spark.
“What we send is illegal.
“We encourage art.

“The Consulate fears
“all that they cannot control.
“Even what we feel.

“Now go my dear girl.
“We love you, Chandra. Be safe.
“You are our whole world.”

Mission’s a failure.
Our dear Spark gets herself caught.
But they can’t cage her.

From her fingertips
sprouts great bouts of flame. She’s free!
Fireballs equipped!

Once home, they three flee.
They must escape! Nothing’s safe.
Not in the city.

A village hides them
from the Consulate’s eyes.
They’re safe for a time.

Young Captain Baraal
is the man Consulate sent
to catch the Nalaars.

Cruel, mean, and vicious.
Baraal stops at nothing to
sate his ambitions.

One day he finds them
and burns down the whole village.
No more safe haven.

Mad smile on display,
Baraal cuts down Spark’s father.
Blood spatters her face.

She gives up the fight.
Mom’s missing. Dad’s dead. Both gone.
Our Spark stars to cry.

Spark’s taken away,
sent to be executed.
She’s got one more day.

Next day he arrives.
Baraal cackles and then says
“Spark. It’s time to die!”

The event’s public
People are watching as she
she kneels before him.

Ovitya Pashiri
Watches from the crowd. Helpless.
Countenance dreary.

As Baraal’s blade falls
Spark ignites. Planeswalker!
In flame she has gone.

Robbed of his bloodlust
His face scorched and burned, he screams,
“You’ll pay for this runt!”

It is for the best.
She’s gone to another world.
Goodbye, Kaladesh.

Regatha’s the name
of the world where she arrives.
Our Sparks’ now a Flame.

anonymous asked:

What's misophonia?

misophonia is a condition where you are extremely sensitive to certain sounds, such as eating/chewing sounds and breathing sounds. there are so so many different sounds, and it depends on the person themselves what causes them the Bad Feelings.
these sounds, depending on the person themself, can trigger things like anger, panic, nausea, and severe need for self harm or even suicide attempts in worst cases. 
there’s much more than that but that’s what i go through mostly.
for more symptoms you can check from here!

misophonia comes in levels, ranging from 0 to 10 (mine goes around 7-10 which is BAD)
 but despite the level, it is always awful for the person.
you can see the scale from here!

we cannot control how we feel! the feeling we get is both physical and emotional and it is strong and agonizing.

PLEASE REMEMBER that when a misophonic person (or even someone who doesnt suffer from it!) asks you to stop doing a certain sound, NEVER IN YOUR LIFE START MAKING THE SOUND MORE TO BE ANNOYING.
N E V E R it is so shitty and can be potentially dangerous for the person, or even you yourself.

so its super important to think twice before you decide to chew your gum mouth open, or rustling your bags of chips in class or anywhere.
you never know who suffers from misophonia, and who you can cause severe harmful reactions with your actions that could be easily toned down.

especially in quiet places its good to think if you’re being too loud and if you can do anything about it.

because for me, i’ve had to run out of class in full panic hitting myself against the walls and scratching my hands just from hearing someone chew gum mouth open in a quiet classroom. i wanted to throw up, i wanted to die. i wanted to rip my head off because i couldn’t get the sound out of my head AND I STILL can hear it as im typing. 

misophonic people get no credit like ever. people barely even know we exist, and when we speak out, we usually are made fun of.
“it cant be that bad, its just normal every day sounds!! how can you even leave from the house lol!!” well uh i can leave the house, and most of my days go just fine without a reaction! and honestly i dont even have to leave my house to have a reaction, as my own damn eating sounds hurt me every day! though im more used to them now.
“u really should get help loll that is so stupid and not normal” every time i’ve mentioned it to my nurses or doctors, it gets brushed off. they don’t care. nobody cares. how can i get help when nobody responds to my call for help.

so yeah. this is a long ass rant but hey! i really want people to know more!
hope this is good and google is a good place to go through, there’s multiple sites just for misophonia that tells whats up and what its about as i linked twice already! <3

“You are afraid,” Qui-Gon stated plainly.

A look of shame came over Obi-Wan’s face, but he did not deny it.

“My heart is full of dread,” he admitted. “I wish we were on another

mission - any other mission. I am not sure I have the courage to face the

Holocron… ”

Qui-Gon leaned toward his apprentice. “You have every right to be

afraid,” he said quietly. “Allow yourself to feel the fear - really feel

it - and then let the emotion go. If it comes back, feel it again and let

it go again. There should be no shame in one’s emotions.”

“I am not at fault if it comes back?” Obi-Wan asked, looking up.

“No, Padawan,” Qui-Gon replied. “We cannot control how we feel.

Only how we choose to handle our feelings.”


The Followers, Jude Watson 

(for all the haters lately who keep saying the Jedi were emotionally stunted or encouraged to deal with their feelings in an unhealthy way)


tippingthevolus replied to your photoset: Do you want to be left alone? -That’s a…

I also really like Cosima’s line shortly after about never having much control over her situation w/Delphine ‘cause on the face of it, no she hasn’t; Cosima is constantly left behind numb without answers whilst Delphine is playing the game. Then there’s this second underlying meaning; that Cosima cannot control how much she feels. That she loves Delphine. Powerfully. Always. It often cuts deep more than it soothes but Cosima can’t stop it, never could.

exactly.All of this!You nailed it!And that’s what fascinates me about  them the complexity and perplexed nature of their relationship!

I can’t wait for the cosima centric episode i need to watch them resolve their issues..and i am waaay too curious about the flashback scene…maybe they did exchange some words that had Cosima act the way she acted now…maybe Delphine promised her something back then? who knows…i live for these angst,intimate scenes!

perseverity  asked:


Magic has always fascinated the child incredibly while living above the surface, sheltered among the walls of the orphanage. Back then, nobody would believe to its existance. Some people referred to it as 𝗈𝗉𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅 𝗂𝗅𝗅𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇, but the child was always certain that it existed in the littlest things.
It is known that human beings cannot learn magic: it’s unnatural and, as ancient books report, it’d be defined as witchcraft.
But they do also report that, thanks to powerful and enchanted objects, like scepters or books – now lost and forgotten – the human race, in the past, was able to cast powerful spells against their foes. These are called mages and they no longer exist.
Monsters, though, are not mages nor witches. They cast spells but the child doesn’t identify them as mages

Monsters are fascinating and, when they show their magics openly, in public, the child cannot help but feel endive. Especially when it’s Asriel to snap his fingers in order to summon an innocent and light flame above his thumb finger.

Magic is something that has always fascinated her and she knows that her curiosity will forever leave an empty void regarding this category, for there aren’t particular explanations to this phenomenon. 
Her best friend has revealed her his secrets, but it hasn’t helped much considering that magic is in his blood.

But another thing that the child cannot explain is how her counterparts, even they are human beings, can do things that she’d define special and unnatural.
Mel assumes that everyone now knows their unmistakeable creepy face; and yet, the child isn’t capable of mimicking it, nor is capable to mimick the rest of the unbelievable things that they can do.

Returning to the subject now, although the child does feel jealous when someone – especially Asriel – casts a spell right before her eyes, she’s capable to camouflage it into amazement and surprise. Do not get me wrong, Mel is always surprised when someone uses their magic in public, but together with that glim that sparkles in her eyes, endive burns too.

During the first days underground, during those fourteen days spent with Asgore in Ruined Home, it was particularly difficult to settle into the new environment and fight against the oh so many differences that the world below had to offer, compared to the surface’s.
And when the enormous beast used his magic in front of the child, together with surprise and amazement, the child has felt different —— not belonging to this reality (perhaps this is another reason of why she has left Ruined Home).

When alone, the child likes to snap her fingers and pretend that a light flame now burns above her thumb. Why she does this, nobody knows. Perhaps it’s to convince herself that she’s not that different, in the end, that she can control magic as well – but her own kind of magic is more special: it’s invisible and it does practically nothing! But Mel likes to think it’s still magic.
It’s just a way to convince herself that – yes – she belongs here.

Don't you dare

Don’t you dare tell me you know how I feel unless you’ve spent majority of your day with a toilet - purging your guts out.
Don’t you dare tell me you care when your only their for me for half the time or when you need something.
Don’t you dare tell me to “just eat” when you do not understand how hard it is to resist the urge to binge after eating.
Don’t you dare tell me I’m not alone when I cannot control how I feel and I spend majority of time laying in bed with no one to talk to.
And most importantly DONT YOU DARE tell me to “keep trying” when all I do and ever have done is try and still that’s not good enough.

ohwow-butfckyou  asked:

After 1.5 years relationship she said she was hetero af and want to be only friend. I dont feel good but bad neither. I agreed just because i need her in my life. Maybe i am egoist cuz i feel like i dont want to be her friend because i am important for her in thats way. I did it cuz I fucking need her. But I get jealous when she send me snaps with friends. But sometimes i feel like i dont care about her. But then that care back shittt... I dont know what should I do, leave her is ultimatum..

You are not egoist. You accepted to be only friend and this is enough for someone who is in love. Moreover, you cannot control your feelings even if you wanted. 

My advise is this: Try to spend less time with her and try to explore new activities that you can enjoy. If this situation hurts too much, you should leave her.


Rating: NC-17

Content: Sexual situations, dirty talk, strong language, mutual masturabation, Camboy!Michael

Summary: Someone may or may not have a crush on a red-haired camboy. 

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