Be careful when you allow your happiness to be affected by whether or not others are happy. One cannot control the thoughts and feelings of others, and so one can be put into a state of vulnerability. Be careful, and take care.
You cannot control your thoughts, and you cannot control your feelings, because there is no controller. You are your thoughts and your feelings, and they are running along, running along, running along.
Just sit and watch them. There they go. You are still breathing, aren’t you? Still growing your hair; still seeing and hearing. Are YOU doing that? Is breathing something that YOU do? Do you see? Do you organize the operations of your eyes, and know exactly how to work those rods and cones in the retina? Do you do that?
It happens, and it is a happening. Your breathing is happening. Your thinking is happening. Your feeling is happening. Your hearing, your seeing, the clouds are happening across the sky. The sky is happening blue; the sun is happening shining. There it is: all this happening.
May I introduce you? This is yourself. This is a vision of who you really are, and the way you really function. You function by happening, that is to say, by spontaneous occurrence.
This is not a state of affairs that you should realize. I cannot possibly preach about it to you, because the minute you start thinking, ‘I should understand that,’ the stupid notion that ‘I’ should bring it about arises again, when there is no ‘you’ to bring it about. That is why I am not preaching. You can only preach to egos. All I can do is talk about what is.
Once you have seen this you can return to the world of practical affairs with a new spirit. You have seen that the universe is at root a magical illusion and a fabulous game, and that there is no separate ‘you’ to get something out of it, as if life were a bank to be robbed.
The only real ‘you’ is the one that comes and goes, manifests and withdraws itself eternally in and as every conscious being. For ‘you’ is the universe looking at itself from billions of points of view, points that come and go so that the vision is forever new.
You do not ask what is the value, or what is the use, of this feeling. Of what use is the universe? What is the practical application of a million galaxies?
Kyungsoo was happy to finally be home, have
some time with his wife. He knew that she wasn’t doing very well in the past
few days. She had been keeping more and more to herself lately, barely saying a
word most days, never looking in his eyes for longer than one second.
He also knew that he was lacking in many ways,
knew that he was messing up lately. Ever since Eun Suk had showed up again she
made sure that she was the only thing Kyungsoo could see. He felt tired just by
looking at her, having to be around her, having to play along with her jokes.
It’s true that they had some kind of affair many year before, before he even
dreamed of meeting Eun Byul, but it ended just as fast as it had begun.
Kyungsoo soon realized that the two of them had very different views of the world.
But as soon as Eun Suk showed up again it seemed that she wanted to revive the
past, even though she already knew Kyungsoo was married.
Even his close friend, Baekhyun, told him that
Eun Byul had been acting off, in a way she never truly did. His friend noticed
how his wife seemed that much more tense quieter. “She won’t even laugh at my
stupid jokes anymore”, Baekhyun had said.
misophonia is a condition where you are extremely sensitive to certain sounds, such as eating/chewing sounds and breathing sounds. there are so so many different sounds, and it depends on the person themselves what causes them the Bad Feelings.
these sounds, depending on the person themself, can trigger things like anger, panic, nausea, and severe need for self harm or even suicide attempts in worst cases. there’s much more than that but that’s what i go through mostly.
for more symptoms you can check from here!
misophonia comes in levels, ranging from 0 to 10 (mine goes around 7-10 which is BAD) but despite the level, it is always awful for the person. you can see the scale from here!
we cannot control how we feel! the feeling we get is both physical and emotional and it is strong and agonizing.
PLEASE REMEMBER that when a misophonic person (or even someone who doesnt suffer from it!) asks you to stop doing a certain sound, NEVER IN YOUR LIFE START MAKING THE SOUND MORE TO BE ANNOYING. N E V E R it is so shitty and can be potentially dangerous for the person, or even you yourself.
so its super important to think twice before you decide to chew your gum mouth open, or rustling your bags of chips in class or anywhere. you never know who suffers from misophonia, and who you can cause severe harmful reactions with your actions that could be easily toned down.
especially in quiet places its good to think if you’re being too loud and if you can do anything about it.
because for me, i’ve had to run out of class in full panic hitting myself against the walls and scratching my hands just from hearing someone chew gum mouth open in a quiet classroom. i wanted to throw up, i wanted to die. i wanted to rip my head off because i couldn’t get the sound out of my head AND I STILL can hear it as im typing.
misophonic people get no credit like ever. people barely even know we exist, and when we speak out, we usually are made fun of. “it cant be that bad, its just normal every day sounds!! how can you even leave from the house lol!!” well uh i can leave the house, and most of my days go just fine without a reaction! and honestly i dont even have to leave my house to have a reaction, as my own damn eating sounds hurt me every day! though im more used to them now. “u really should get help loll that is so stupid and not normal” every time i’ve mentioned it to my nurses or doctors, it gets brushed off. they don’t care. nobody cares. how can i get help when nobody responds to my call for help.
so yeah. this is a long ass rant but hey! i really want people to know more! hope this is good and google is a good place to go through, there’s multiple sites just for misophonia that tells whats up and what its about as i linked twice already! <3
OMFG!!! FUCKING FUCK!!! SHIT!!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS EPISODE. DAMN. GDI. I LITERALLY WANT TO JUMP FROM THE ROOFTOP. THE FEELS!!! KYAAAHHH!!! ^3^ *THROWS PILLOWS
ZENxSHIRAYUKI SHIP HAS FINALLY SET SAIL!!! OTL I’M CRYING REAL HARD RN, I’M SO HAPPY FOR THEM *I READ THE MANGA, BUT FUCK THAT I’LL STILL CRY TO THE ANIME, TOO.
I also really like Cosima’s line shortly after about never having much control over her situation w/Delphine ‘cause on the face of it, no she hasn’t; Cosima is constantly left behind numb without answers whilst Delphine is playing the game. Then there’s this second underlying meaning; that Cosima cannot control how much she feels. That she loves Delphine. Powerfully. Always. It often cuts deep more than it soothes but Cosima can’t stop it, never could.
exactly.All of this!You nailed it!And that’s what fascinates me about them the complexity and perplexed nature of their relationship!
I can’t wait for the cosima centric episode i need to watch them resolve their issues..and i am waaay too curious about the flashback scene…maybe they did exchange some words that had Cosima act the way she acted now…maybe Delphine promised her something back then? who knows…i live for these angst,intimate scenes!
Magic has always fascinated the child incredibly while living above the surface, sheltered among the walls of the orphanage. Back then, nobody would believe to its existance. Some people referred to it as 𝗈𝗉𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅 𝗂𝗅𝗅𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇, but the child was always certain that it existed in the littlest things. It is known that human beings cannot learn magic: it’s unnatural and, as ancient books report, it’d be defined as witchcraft. But they do also report that, thanks to powerful and enchanted objects, like scepters or books – now lost and forgotten – the human race, in the past, was able to cast powerful spells against their foes. These are called mages and they no longer exist. Monsters, though, are not mages nor witches. They cast spells but the child doesn’t identify them as mages.
Monsters are fascinating and, when they show their magics openly, in public, the child cannot help but feel endive. Especially when it’s Asriel to snap his fingers in order to summon an innocent and light flame above his thumb finger.
Magic is something that has always fascinated her and she knows that her curiosity will forever leave an empty void regarding this category, for there aren’t particular explanations to this phenomenon. Her best friend has revealed her his secrets, but it hasn’t helped much considering that magic is in his blood.
But another thing that the child cannot explain is how her counterparts, even they are human beings, can do things that she’d define special and unnatural. Mel assumes that everyone now knows their unmistakeable ‘creepy face’; and yet, the child isn’t capable of mimicking it, nor is capable to mimick the rest of the unbelievable things that they can do.
Returning to the subject now, although the child does feel jealous when someone – especially Asriel – casts a spell right before her eyes, she’s capable to camouflage it into amazement and surprise. Do not get me wrong, Mel is always surprised when someone uses their magic in public, but together with that glim that sparkles in her eyes, endive burns too.
During the first days underground, during those fourteen days spent with Asgore in Ruined Home, it was particularly difficult to settle into the new environment and fight against the oh so many differences that the world below had to offer, compared to the surface’s. And when the enormous beast used his magic in front of the child, together with surprise and amazement, the child has felt different —— not belonging to this reality (perhaps this is another reason of why she has left Ruined Home).
When alone, the child likes to snap her fingers and pretend that a light flame now burns above her thumb. Why she does this, nobody knows. Perhaps it’s to convince herself that she’s not that different, in the end, that she can control magic as well – but her own kind of magic is more special: it’s invisible and it does practically nothing!But Mel likes to think it’s still magic. It’s just a way to convince herself that – yes – she belongs here.
Don’t you dare tell me you know how I feel unless you’ve spent majority of your day with a toilet - purging your guts out.
Don’t you dare tell me you care when your only their for me for half the time or when you need something.
Don’t you dare tell me to “just eat” when you do not understand how hard it is to resist the urge to binge after eating.
Don’t you dare tell me I’m not alone when I cannot control how I feel and I spend majority of time laying in bed with no one to talk to.
And most importantly DONT YOU DARE tell me to “keep trying” when all I do and ever have done is try and still that’s not good enough.
After 1.5 years relationship she said she was hetero af and want to be only friend. I dont feel good but bad neither. I agreed just because i need her in my life. Maybe i am egoist cuz i feel like i dont want to be her friend because i am important for her in thats way. I did it cuz I fucking need her. But I get jealous when she send me snaps with friends. But sometimes i feel like i dont care about her. But then that care back shittt... I dont know what should I do, leave her is ultimatum..
You are not egoist. You accepted to be only friend and this is enough for someone who is in love. Moreover, you cannot control your feelings even if you wanted.
My advise is this: Try to spend less time with her and try to explore new activities that you can enjoy. If this situation hurts too much, you should leave her.