Grub Loaf and Tuber$ (adapted from Troll Martha $tewrt)

It’s late fall brood $ea$on, which means it’s time for hearty, nouri$hing food to get your little one$ through that rough winter pupation!  Why not try this old lu$u$ favorite, which combine$ lean protein with healthy $tarch, and a $pot of green vegetable$ to intimidate and poi$on your neighbor$?

Martha’$ Protip$

1$t of all, a fun fact: it is a mi$nomer that grubloaf is made of over$ize roa$ted grub$. It i$ actually the by-product of grinding $maller grub$ together!  The fun grub $hape comes from a lu$u$’$ creativity in the nutrition block. Try u$ing nut chip$, black olive$, pain plant $lice$, and $eaweed (if you’re high enough on the $pectrum) to fa$hion cute little face$. It’$ never too early to introduce your wiggler to the cull!  Al$o, it i$ a mi$conception that only ru$t blood$ make good $auce. I u$e a combination of ru$t$ and yellow$ to achieve $uch a fancy re$ult.


  • 8 oz cavern fungu$ (any mild variety)
  • 1 TB$P extra-virgin olive oil 
  • 1 t$p dried thyme 
  • 2 t$p. minced garlic 
  • 1 TB$P dry $herry (Crocker brand)
  • ½ cup minced fre$h par$ley leave$ 
  • ½ cup pureed Roma tomatoe$ (Crocker brand)
  • 8 oz ground ru$t grub, extra lean*
  • 8 oz ground fatty yellow grub*
  • 1 cup quick-cooking oat$ (Crocker brand) 
  • ¼ cup grated onion  
  • 1 cluckbea$t egg 
  • 1 TB$P Worce$ter$hire $auce (Crocker brand)
  • 1 t$p $alt

For the Grub $auce:

  • 1/3 cup crim$on blood**
  • 1 TB$P. mu$tard blood**
  • 2 t$p. brown $ugar

* If you are off-planet or cannot get ready acce$$ to high-quality culls, you may $ub$titute ground hoofbeast meat (equal part$ moobea$t and oinkbea$t)

** If you cannot get fre$h blood, try human ‘ketchup’ and ‘mu$tard’


1. Wa$h, then pul$e the fungu$ $mooth in a whirling blade device (high blood$: food proce$$or). $aute the mu$hroom$ with the olive oil in a non$tick $killet over high heat until moi$ture evaporate$, 5-8 minute$. $tir in thyme and garlic. Deglaze with $herry; $tir in par$ley and tomato puree. $et fungu$ mixture a$ide.

2. In a big bowl, combine the ground grub, oat$, onion, egg, Worce$ter$hire, $alt and mu$hroom mixture. Ea$ie$t way: wa$h your hand$ well and get in there with your finger$ ($eadweller$, make $ure to remove your ring$!) Get everything well blended.

3. $hape a 9"x4" loaf on a broiler pan - ye$, you heard me, u$e a broiler pan. It will allow the grea$e to drain off a$ the grubloaf cook$.

4. $tir together ketchup, mu$tard, and $ugar in a bowl; $poon over the top of the grubloaf to coat the top and $ide$ completely.

5. Bake at 350 degree$ on the broiler pan until the meatloaf’$ internal temperature reache$ 165 (about 1 hour). Let the grubloaf re$t at lea$t 10 minute$ before decorating.

I also want there to be a bomb I have to diffuse. It’s strapped to all of my Meryl Streep children’s chests. Cree Summer child escaped and is in the middle of a fucking cool laser fight with a generic white dude from American Horror Story. The bomb is diffused and the white dude is defeated. Also the white dude is replaced with another white dude every time the camera is off him.
—  @pictureswithboxes during our planning session for the film adaptation of our group chat

Concept: an otome dating sim where the player character is a bizarre Lovecraftian monstrosity - except none of the boys notice, and they all treat you like you’re a perfectly ordinary teenage girl.

All of your dialogue options are incomprehensible hissing and gurgling, or cryptic gestures with unearthly appendages; you’re never 100% certain what - if anything - you’re communicating, though the boys seem to understand you.

Rather than “Athletics” or “Charm”, your stats have strange names like “Viscosity”, “Amplitude” and “Bulk”. Figuring out what they actually do is as much as part of the challenge as figuring out how to raise them.

At the end of the game, you devour whichever boy you have the strongest bond with whole; this act of consumption determines the final form you evolve into, as well as the nature of the resulting global apocalypse.


Iron Lords University

i always laugh when i see hannibal lecter on those “top scariest horror character” lists because like the guy wears sweaters??? and cries at opera??? like sure he’s an asshole who does a lot of fucked up shit and i can’t say i wanna meet him in real life but he plays the theremin i mean come on

Pictured above is the entrance to the apartment belonging to serial killer and cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer. A total of 12 out of the 17 males he murdered were killed behind this door. His last intended victim, Tracy Edwards, managed to flee from the property after catching Dahmer off guard and physically confronting him, using this as an opportunity to escape. Edwards had allegedly spent five hours in the apartment before finally being able to free himself. He later told police how he had spent that time reassuring Jeffrey that he was his friend and that he was not going to run away. At one point, Edwards spoke of how Dahmer had put on a horror film and began chanting whilst pressing a knife to his skin. After this, Jeffrey apparently put his ear to Edwards’ chest and listened to his heartbeat, telling him “I’m going to eat your heart.” Jeffrey Dahmer’s capture ensued after Edwards escaped and alerted the authorities. When officers came to search apartment 213, they discovered human skulls, hearts, torsos, a bag of human organs, severed genitalia and severed hands to be amongst the remains hoarded as cannibalistic tokens of Dahmer’s crimes.