cannibalism puns

I think possibly the most twisted side of Hannibal and Will’s relationship, but also the one that shows the most how they’re made for each other and pretty much no one else, is how they get each other’s sense of humor, in whatever form it comes. Hannibal sees Will’s bitter misanthropic sarcasm and is endeared by it, instead of kept at a distance by it like everybody else; Will should really not find Hannibal’s irony funny since it mostly involves murdering and eating people, stabbing, or making victims into art, but he tragically does. To the point that it gets him to smile, laugh, turn a dead man into a firefly, or watch an asshole eat his own face.

Theres a lot of these “remember these ancient tumblr trends??” posts but somehow none of them mention the Hannibal fandom.

Like Hannibal was?? huge on tumblr?? to the point that some Superwholockians were mad about Hannibal trying to become the fourth installment. The actors wore actual flowercrowns to con because tumblr wouldnt stop putting them in photo edits. Every single cannibal pun showed up on tumblr in photoset form. headcanon names for Will’s 1000 dogs.

Hannibal was huge on tumblr and then its last season was some kinda abstract art piece and then it vanished and I…don’t totally know what happened.

Three Types of Act 1 Closers

1…Big, full-cast musical spectacles where the musical motifs converge and signify a turning point in the characters’ journeys

2…A riveting, show-stopping solo by the main character where they make a life-changing resolution

3…Six minutes of cannibal puns

How to Have a Highly Successful Social Reputation When You Have Severe Anxiety to The Point of Agoraphobia:
  1. go to one in three events you are invited to, as long as you are given that invitation over a week in advance to prepare,
  2. tell people beforehand that you have to leave by a specific time due to Excuse (even ‘early morning tomorrow’ works if you inform them immediately upon receiving invitation), stick to this departure time at all costs, regardless of events,
  3. pretend to be Hannibal Lecter when you get there.
    1. you must at all times be amiable and charming so people don’t realize you are a serial killer
    2. you can hang out by the food and compliment it and ask questions about ingredients and stuff
    3. you can focus on making subtle cannibalism puns throughout the night (and yes this does help)
    4. you are interested in people, and learning about those people, because you have that whole ‘choosing victims’ thing going on and also have to think of an ironically beautiful way to kill them
    5. THEY CAN NEVER KNOW YOU ARE PRETENDING YOU’RE HANNIBAL LECTER, so you better use a cover story of being yourself when they ask questions. quickly deflect back to your target conversation partner.
The Best Part of Being A Fannibal:

OK, so I’ve had a few people ask me about what the Hannibal fandom is like from the inside. And while my first thought was that it was seriously awesome that the fannibals are so notorious that people ask those sorts of questions, it got me thinking. So I’ve compiled a nice list about my favouite aspects of being a fannibal.

  • Fannibals are fucking funny - like, seriously, our show is actually really serious (most of the time - think of it this way, the cannibal puns are cannon) but the hannibal fandom has like the most chillaxed, cracky sense of humor, but at the same time, we’re joking about the most horrible, gory, subjects. Here are a few examples of the fannibal humor: x, x
  • Our relationship with in the flesh. Seriously. We love those guys. They are our amazing sibling fandom. We will help them at any cost, unless they go against us in which case they’re going down.
  • Our relationship with the creators. Seriously, most creators sort of cringe about the fandom, but the creators of the fannibals are just like. “come here my precious babies can you give me links to your fics?”
  • Hannibal in and of itself. Hannibal is an amazing show. Like my absolute favorite show. It’s super dark and kinda gory it’s got wicked action scenes and amazing character and plot development. To top it all of it is the most visually stunning tv show I have ever watched.
  • I think one of my favorite things about being a fannibal, is our rep. Like, we’re the hannibal fandom, we’re those creepy people in the corner who practically worship a cannibalistic serial killer and are constantly giving out dinner invitations. It’s lovely to watch non-fannibals freak out about something we’ve done. Like, while I definitely don’t think we’re the weirdest fandom, we’re pretty high up there and it’s brilliant.

Now you know why the fannibals are amazing, you should totally join us for dinner! We’re having lamb!

Rewatching Antipasto before bed and I’m 12 minutes in and already Hannibal has made a terrible cannibal pun thirty seconds after meeting scarf dad, insisted eating a human leg isn’t cannibalism, had an Italian academia rap battle equivalent with professor Sogliato, and patted himself on the back for killing “hardly anyone” since arriving in Florence like… a few days previous probably?

@Hannibal why are you like this.

ifgrasswereblue  asked:

Soulmate Au where you absolutely must laugh at ur sm sense of humour? Also please: Dayum Will u got it hard with all of Hannibal's cannibal puns. >w<

It starts off when Will finds himself laughing uncontrollably on a normal Friday evening. His dogs stare at him, heads cocked in curiosity.

It happens again the following Saturday. Jack mentions the next time he sees Will that Hannibal hosted a wonderful dinner party, such a gracious host, Will should join them time.

That’s when he starts to wonder. Hannibal never struck him as someone particularly funny but - well? Maybe?

Hannibal invites him over but Will can’t quite bring himself to stay. He deposits a nice bottle of wine along with his apologies, but he lingers, just long enough to watch Hannibal work a little with those rolled up sleeves and muscled forearms.

They are rather distracting.

And then the topic of Hannibal’s change in profession comes about and when Hannibal says “I transferred my passion for anatomy into the culinary arts”, Will has no idea why he’s suddenly laughing hysterically.

It’s worded a little too baroquely, sure, but it’s not funny. Hannibal just stares at him, his mouth ticking up at the corner.

Will lets the laughter run out, his head between his knees, taking as many deep breaths as he can. Then he starts to do the math and his blood runs cold. He straightens up so fast he goes a little light-headed.

“Holy shit,” Will says, “you’re the Chesapeake Ripper.”

Hannibal doesn’t really react to this, just politely sets down his knife and raises his eyebrows.

“Which would mean that you’re my soulmate.”

Will swallows hard. “Oh, shit.”

He runs out into the night and doesn’t look back.

-x-

Five years later

Hannibal serves the meat to their guests, meticulously arranged on blood-red plates with white lettuce, stewed cranberries and nettle sauce.

“Ooh,” coos a woman to Will’s right, “what is this.”

“Turkey,” Hannibal replies. “Though this particular bird was in quite a foul mood.”

Will bursts out laughing, so hard and loud that he almost falls off his chair. The rest of the room falls awkwardly silent.

“Please don’t mind my husband,” Hannibal says with a smile. “He has a dreadful sense of humour.”

anonymous asked:

SO LIKE STEREK: HANNIBAL AU. WHICH ONES THE CANNIBAL AND WHICH ONE IS THE DETECTIVE WITH SPECIAL EMPATHY SENSORS?

THIS IS A DIFFICULT ONE. I think…..I think I’d choose Stiles as Hannibal and Derek as Will. Actually, I know I would. I think that would fit the best. 

In my opinion, Stiles has a greater capacity for “darkness” than Derek (they both know when the “bad thing” is the only thing that can be done, both aren’t afraid to do that thing, but Derek does make the harder choices with a heavier heart, while Stiles….just does it). Not that Stiles doesn’t experience guilt after but, well, we all know Stiles has a complicated relationship with these kind of situations. Especially after the Nogitsune when he admits he liked the power it afforded him, despite hating what that power was used for. Regardless, I definitely think Stiles is much more likely to “cut a bitch” than Derek (pardon the cannibal-esque pun). I think Stiles might even have fun with it. I can imagine Stiles as a kind of Buffy, tbh, but actually getting off on the killing, the power rush. I think those kind of thoughts definitely plague Stiles and mess with his head in canon.   

Also, Stiles has a much easier time lying than Derek (essential for cannibalism, don’t you think?) Not that we get to see much of Derek’s character in that respect, since secret keeping for him is more about vulnerability and keeping people out rather than keeping secrets itself. Unless it is about himself, Derek usually shares anything he can to help Stiles and Scott, while Stiles tends to keep things to himself and likes to work alone until he knows he can trust someone with the information he has. Stiles is a good liar (mostly) 

and possibly gets a thrill out of it (it’s my headcanon he learned this from Claudia who was an expert liar) - but Derek, while not good with words, is (in my opinion), less inclined to lie; it’s not second nature to him and I think Derek definitely thinks before he does things (unless he’s being a fucking martyr, jesus). Stiles is definitely more of a “do now, regret later” kind if person by contrast and lying is second nature to him as a result - he doesn’t hesitate when he’s got a plan. 

AND NOW FOR POINT NUMBER 2. Not to go based on aesthetics or anything…..but Derek Hale with a family of dogs??? Loving dogs??? His life being dogs?? Small house in the middle of nowhere with his dogs??? SIGN. ME. THE. FUCK. UP.  

Maybe my Hannibal and Sterek buddy @whatthehellbells will want to add to this?