cannibalism mention

Concept: a D&D campaign where every party member has been co-opted or replaced by some sort of hostile intelligence; e.g., the fighter has been possessed by a ghost, the wizard is being mind-controlled by her sapient magic ring, the rogue is actually a shapeshifting blob-monster who devoured the original and stole her form and memories, and so forth. Each of them is totally unaware of the others, and believes itself to be the only monster in a group of unwitting human adventurers.

I once saw a space australia post that aliens would freak out about our current way to treat people with medicine, surgeries and stuff. Lets say, transplant an organ from a dead person into a not so healthy, still living person, but this is, in my eyes, pretty humane and we can ensure that everything is sterile and the patient will survive at this point in time.

Aliens could freak about it, I’m not saying they couldn’t do that, but they would really lose their minds when they found out about our medical history of treating patients. Lets say they ask a doctor about medical history or found earth shows about this topic and end up aghast and nauseated at what humans done to themselves in earlier times.

I’ve been listening a lot to Sawbones, a podcast about medical history, lately and boy howdy am I glad that the medical field isn’t a giant guessing game anymore and we can cure a lot of things, if not all, but at least the doctors now know what they’re doing for most things.

I’m not even talking about when we blamed a sickness on the supernatural, but when we would do stuff like trepanation or lobotomies. Or patent medicines, that weren’t patented at all, but cure alls that cured absolutely nothing and tobacco, alcohol and opium much like some pretty poisonous things, like mercury, arsenic and radiation, were also in this category.
There was also the four humors system, were humans thought that there were four fluids in your body that you had to keep in balance to be in perfect health, were most likely the trend to go to your local barber surgeon for bloodletting came from, you’d also go there to get your rotten teeth removed.
Or how we treated woman and mentally ill people in the past. Or dead humans that were used in medical cannibalism.

Medical history on earth would be the biggest horror story for aliens.

Then there are always humans who romanticize almost every part of history. I don’t get this at all, like we still have milk shakes and racism, why would anyone want to live in the 1950’s? And if you would go back even further down in history, health conditions and everything else would just get worse and worse. Aliens would be flabbergasted at this.

massachusetts gothic

-The snowbanks are melting, revealing what has been sleeping beneath them all winter. They are hungry. 

-Western Mass is a myth, they laugh. Their eyes are wide. Western Mass is a myth, they repeat. You cannot go there. No one can. 

-Why is that field red? The children ask. It’s a cranberry bog, the adults repeat. Just a cranberry bog. The eyes in the bog do not blink. 

-The screaming at night is the fisher cats, we promise. 

-The beaches are rocky. They are pointed, and jagged. They have teeth. Do not go swimming alone. 

-”They’re not safe to eat unless you boil them alive.” The old fisherman tells you. You think, you hope, he means the lobster. But he never specifies, and you never ask. 

-There is a reason everyone says “wicked.” 

More favourite memes:

  • “I’m not an expert, but [absurd solution to mundane problem].”
  • “I’ve tried everything - [reasonable approach], [reasonable approach], even [something totally off the wall]!”
  • “It’s not gay if it’s [impossible scenario].“
  • “Could be worse - at least it’s not [implausible misfortune].“
  • “Eat him.“
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I love how Daisy has issues with playing pretend, but she will straight up, no hesitation agree to eat you. Is it a serious answer, or is it Daisy cluing in more to the pretend game? Who knows, both scenarios are hilarious though.

And her face when she answers too. Quality mischievousness right there.

Why I Quit German

WARNINGS: This story is really gross and/or horrifying but also hilarious imho.  Your health always comes first, so mind the tags:  Violence, Cannibalism Mention, Suicidal Ideation, Feces, Sleep Deprivation, Airplanes, I generally had a really bad time but now it’s hysterical.  Most of the story is under the cut because it’s eight miles long.


In August of 2009 I flew back to Honolulu to do my sophomore year of college with the intention of entering 400-level german. What happened instead is the closest I’ve ever come to personally dying or actually murdering someone.

The problem started the day before my flight, when I attended a birthday party for a very dear cousin in Denver, and due to be in 1 of 2 adults present, ended up driving a bunch of teenagers home and didn’t get home until 12:30 that night.  Oh well, my flight’s at 6AM anyway, I’ll just stay up. I can sleep on the plane, I thought, like a complete fucking fool.

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I was walking my dog at night and there was this little overgrown area a few houses down from us. When I got to that place, three old women jumped out and grabbed me, saying they were gonna turn me into a nice meal. I couldn’t talk at all for some reason, then they all started laughing and let me go. They said to me, “next time be more careful out here” and retreated back into the overgrown plants. 

anonymous asked:

Re: guardians of the galaxy/dnd parallels: Even the sci-fi setting? I'm only marginally familiar with dnd and as far as I know it's all high fantasy stuff?

(With reference to this post here.)

It’s a common misconception that “Dungeons & Dragons” refers to a particular fictional setting. This isn’t actually the case; Dungeons & Dragons is a set of tabletop roleplaying rules for a particular style of play, which can be employed in a variety of settings, both officially published and fan-made.

With respect to the former, officially published D&D settings include:

  • A post-apocalyptic wasteland drained of life by vile sorcerer-kings, variously inhabited by tribes of cannibal hobbits, claustrophobic parrot-men, and giant psychic praying mantises, all of which are playable races (even the last one!)
  • A spacefaring setting in which enchanted galleons sail the luminferous aether protected by magical force fields; though most crews are human, one might also expect to encounter gunslinging hippopotami, brain-sucking tentacle monsters, or gadgeteering gnomes whose vessels are powered by giant hamsters running on wheels (yes, really)
  • An industrialised quasi-Victorian city constructed around the inner side of a giant ring hovering at the top of an infinitely tall spire at the centre of the universe, the streets of which are ruled by factions of bickering philosophers who can literally think you to death (and also everyone inexplicably speaks Cockney)
  • A dystopian confederation of Gothic city-states ruled by expies of baddies from classic horror films, including Dracula, the Wolfman, the Mummy, Victor Frankenstein, Dr. Moreau, plus an evil version of Pinocchio, because why the hell not?

I could keep going, but I suspect you get the picture!

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Robert Small ~ aka Bad Dad/Knife Dad

(All info is culled directly from in-game references; gif was made by me - if you want to use it in something else, please ask &/or give me credit.  Thanks so much!  <3)

~ Background Canon ~

  • Seems to have little/no respect for people who sleep around and/or put sex before other, more important things
  • Was (possibly) in the Army
  • Has a Boston Terrier named Betsy (likes to pretend she’s a pit bull)
  • Likes to tell elaborate (and sometimes graphic) stories. (Are they true? No one but Robert knows.)
  • Knows how to fake people out (i.e. good poker face?)
  • Sends texts/messages like a teenager
  • Believes hitting a child would be despicable
  • Insists on watching movie credits to the VERY end
  • Has a daughter named Val who lives in Brooklyn; she works for some ‘news media online magazine thing’ and makes a lot of money doing it.
  • He’s unsure of Val’s age, but thinks it’s maybe 25 or 26
  • He refers to Brooklyn as ‘home’ (…so what does that make Maple Bay?)
  • Carries a fully-stocked first aid kit in his truck
  • Has an unconventional sense of humor
  • Has a tendency to say exactly what he means…and then pretend like he didn’t mean it
  • Not the most talkative of people, generally speaking
  • Thinks River has an ‘old soul’
  • His wife’s name was Marilyn; she died in an ‘accident’.
  • He has a ‘long, wicked scar across his pecs’ (supposedly from a bike accident with Val)
  • Has a tattoo on his left hand, shaped a little like a compass rose
  • The mention of cannibalism reminded him of the last time he went skiing. (Just another ‘story’?)
  • Claims his leather jacket has been in his family a long time, and that it’s ‘cursed’
  • Seems to have done a lot of thinking about killing someone.  “It’s not just their life, you know.  It’s their hopes and dreams draining away.  Every memory and experience they’ve ever had…gone.”
  • This guy may not look it, but he’s smart!  Knows who Hemingway is, has heard of capybaras, is a classic film buff, knows random Bible verses by heart…
  • Robert’s hands are calloused and covered in little white scars.
  • Got stabbed in Louisiana…or was it Kentucky…?
  • Isn’t a ‘sore loser’
  • Drives a VERY old red pickup truck.
  • House is filled with sleek, modern appliances; a big flat-screen TV; and shelves upon shelves of DVDs

~ Likes/Dislikes Canon ~

  • Has at least a mild interest in sports of some kind and a preferred team that he roots for
  • Likes Paranormal Ice Road Truckers, but isn’t a fan of TV in general
  • Likes war documentaries
  • Doesn’t like small talk
  • Doesn’t like being called Rob (…or Bobert) - ‘buddy’ seems to be okay?
  • Likes to go camping (but hasn’t been after what happened last time)
  • Digs old movies from the 30′s and 40s
  • Takes the creation of movies VERY seriously
  • Likes Tom Waits and Santana
  • Likes to whittle and is pretty good at it
  • Smokes like a chimney (if all the ashtrays in his house are any indication.)
  • Enjoys the Criterion Collection

~ Food/Drink Canon ~

  • Likes whiskey… A LOT - especially shots
  • When it comes to alcohol, rarely takes ‘no’ for an answer
  • Likes white zinfandel because it’s delicious, fruity, and refreshing
  • LOVES pineapple on his pizza
  • Enjoys bar-hopping
  • Thinks Jim and Kim’s is the best bar in town
  • Occasionally hangs out at The Coffee Spoon

~ Sex/Romance Canon ~

  • Talks dirty…very dirty
  • Enjoys leaving hickeys…lots of them
  • Rough enough in bed to leave a person feeling sore and ‘creaky’ afterwards
  • Enjoys biting
  • When his lover says ‘no’ or ‘stop’ he takes it seriously
  • Recognizes that he’s an emotional wreck/emotionally unavailable…and is honest about it

~ Memorable Quotes ~ 

  • “The key to being cool is acting like you don’t care about anything, but actually care very deeply about everything to the point where it’s debilitating.”
  • “Too many people think that they have to fill the dead air with noise.  Personally I think they’re afraid of the silence.  Or they’re afraid of what the other person is gonna think of the silence…learn to be comfortable with silence.”
  • “I respect your opinion.  And I will fight with my life for your right to say it.  But where’s your sense of adventure? Where’s your sense of taste?  Why won’t you love yourself?”
  • “The juciness of the pineapple paired with the tanginess of the sauce is a flavor combination that everyone should experience at least once, if not a thousand times more. Pineapple on pizza is one of the few things in life that I genuinely and thoroughly enjoy.  Please.  Please just do this for me.  No - do this for yourself.”
  • “That popcorn-ass drivel the mass media is shoving down your throat will only make you dumber and sadder.  You of all people should strive for a higher standard in the art you consume.”
  • “Are you kidding me? I would never hit a child.  That would be despicable.”
  • “This is my Thinking Bench.  I have to get a solid two to three hours of brooding per day.  Filling quotas…A lot of people underestimate the senses of a man who broods.”
  • “I’m so many levels of irony deep that I’ve forgotten what humor is.”
  • “I was so busy chasing after all of these things that I thought would make me happy that I didn’t think about anyone else.  All I cared about was myself.”
  • “Maybe I’m just built like this.  Or maybe I do it to myself.  Maybe it’s my own choice I’m as unhappy as I am.”
  • “I’m working on my relationship with existence.”
  • “Long live the king, baby.”
  • “I spent my whole life only taking, and taking, and taking.  And now here I am, an old, broken man sitting on top of a pile of everything I’ve ever taken.  Alone.”
  • “I spent so much time chasing after things I thought were gonna make me happy that I ruined my only real chance at happiness.”
  • “You know, every day for me is a battle against my own self-destructive habits.”

buff-tuff-and-fluff  asked:

What's your take on sparkeaters?

Likely real, generally classified a “Post-Cybertronian Life Form” - this label also applies to zombies, ghosts, pretty much any sort of undead. Though there doesn’t seem to be any real proper information regarding them, or any extensive studies. There’s some physical proof, but it’s hard to tell what might simply be somebot’s natural tentacles vs the radical transformation of a sparkeater.

Undeath happens rarely on Cybertron, mind you, but it happens enough that like…you can study it, and medics are trained to deal with it as a potential risk.

Mind you, sparkeater is also a term applied to your garden-variety cannibals and individuals with ‘vampiric’ inclinations, too.

anonymous asked:

Is batscream a cannibal??? O.O

Not typically. Maybe taking a bit of blood off the top (he does have hemovore tendencies) but the comic’s more about him just being lecherous and eyeing everyone up.

Blackarachnia, on the other hand…I mean, she wouldn’t devour a friend or potential ally, but if she needed the energy or needed to make a body disappear…

Concept: a vast, ancient god-monster who would really rather be rampaging about devouring humans by the score, but in this modern era of smartphone cameras and long-range artillery that’s not entirely practical, so mostly it mopes around being cryptic (and eating the occasional overly inquisitive anthropologist when nobody is looking).

anonymous asked:

I agree on the whole riverdale thing...but what about cole sprouse? Is he an abuser? Like i've never heard anything about that

yes, he emotionally abused his ex. she made this post in relation to her breakup with cole, and there was another that she’s since deleted because dylan went out of his way to send fans to harass her. he also compared black lives matter criticizing bernie sanders to CANNIBALISM, as if bernie is the savior blm needed (literally wtf) and has openly refused to acnowledge white privilege. the posts have been deleted but he made some nasty comments about hurricane sandy too.

and really, we can just write off both twins because dylan posted this nasty shit on insta.