canned whole chicken

alec “emotions get in the way” lightwood

do you mean…

alec “i can’t go two episodes without saying i love you” lightwood?

alec “little spoon who wants his morning cuddles” lightwood?

alec “home is where magnus bane is” lightwood?

right. i thought so.

amosaicofmagic  asked:

Hey, tumblr mom! Since everyone is asking you about food can I ask your opinion on frying pans? We need to replace ours and my husband is really into the idea of buying cast iron frying pan. It seems like to much work for me, tough. I've always used either stainless steel or teflon ones. What do you think? Is it worthy? And if you had to choose between teflon or stainless steel which would you buy?

Oh, and I was going to mention it in the other ask I sent but forgot. I have IBS and one thing that really helps me is chilean boldo infusion. Idk how easy it to find it where you live (the fresh leaves work best), but it’s something a lot of south-americans use to treat hepatic and gastrointestinal issues. (Fun fact: the nurse at my high school used to have a bottle of concentrated cold boldo infusion in the fridge to give to students who were hangover)

Thank you for that last little bit, it’s something I will bring up with my allergist/many doctors as a quick google tells me it could also help my gallstone/bile production issues. So thank you :)

And ooooh god not teflon, anything but teflon, firstly because I don’t like how they cook/retain heat, and secondly because of some of the health concerns that comes with what happens when teflon starts to break down and you start eating it/breathing it in. Y’all can call me a mad hippy over that if you want but when your immune system is as fragile as mine you’ll avoid anything at all that might harm it.

Both stainless steel and cast iron have their merits. 

Cast Iron

You are right in that the cast iron takes a little more work to upkeep—initially. After it’s been seasoned a few times and you don’t do things like soak it in water or scrub it with lemon juice, it’s going to become practically indestructible. There’s a reason you can still buy cast iron skillets in antique stores that just need a little bit of salt and oil to get them back in working order. If you maintain it right, your cast iron will likely outlive you by quite a few decades. I wipe mine clean after every use using waterand  a non acidic soap, dry it on a high heat, and then season lightly with some oil after each use. Once it starts to smoke, that’s you, you’re done seasoning. You only really have to do the salt and oil scrub if it loses the coating or if something gets burned onto it, or if you have rust spots, which happen form not being properly sealed. 

I will say, cast iron is hard to get used to working with at first, because of how differently you have to manage the way it conducts heat. Cast iron is great at retaining heat, which is what makes it great for searing meat and yes, even baking in, but you need to get it hot first, which can require about ten minutes of prep over a hot stove trying to ensure even heat coverage. (I throw mine in the oven for 20 mins)

That might seem like a lot of work, but given how well it retains the heat after that, it actually cooks things better. With stainless steel the output of heat is enough to sear the outside of something, but to cook say, a chicken in it (yes you can cook a whole chicken in a skillet) you’d need to keep it on the heat for longer for the heat to reach the middle, resulting in chewy over tough food. With cast iron, the heat output from it is so much better that it’s already starting to cook the rest of the bird while you’re searing it, resulting in less cook time, and hopefully a more juicy meat—as well as making the outside very nice and crispy. Cast iron is great for making things crispy.

That and you know, you can fight the Fae folk with it if the need arises.

Stainless Steel

There’s a common misconception that you can just throw things into a stainless steel pan and it’ll be fine. But the truth is if you want to maintain your stainless steel in good working condition, you will want to make sure it’s evenly oiled before any food touches it (Ask ETD about the time he made popcorn and ruined my pot because there wasn’t enough oil around the SIDES of the pot so the heat just obliterated everything and I had to buffer the pot to get it back to working condition, he felt so bad lol) and make sure that it is adequately preheated. Otherwise your food is just going to burn and stick to the base and it’s going to be a mother fucker to get it off. I’ve seen far too many people burn away the caramelization going on in their stainless steel pans because they don’t know how to heat/preheat with it. (note if your caramelization does get stuck, loosen it up with some water or better yet some stock, get that flavor back in your food yo!) Other than that, yea, once you get used to how stainless steel works and retains heat, it is lower energy when it comes to maintenance vs cast iron. Just don’t use cold salt water in them, or you risk pitting the pans. (As I have previously talked about)

Because you have mentioned you have IBS, I will stress the importance of trying to buy as high quality stainless steel as you can, as not all stainless steel is made equal. 

Surgical stainless steel is the safest as it is non porous, while a lot of the cheap stainless steel you can pick up (I’m thinking of places like Walmart and Target) can break down and leech into food during the cooking process. Stainless steel is an alloy made from a mix of metals including iron, chromium (is what keeps it from corroding) and nickel to name but a few components, and given nickel is a high allergy metal you don’t want that going into the foods of people who may be sensitive/allergic. (I had a friend find this out the hard way that that is what was going on with her)

The way I was taught to test the quality of the pan is by holding a magnet up to it. If it sticks? It’s typically going to be higher in nickel than you want it to be and could cause a possible health risk for people with nickel allergies. Nickel is also a carcinogenic and considered worse than aluminium which everyone and their dog is now trying to get away from because of the metal being linked to cancers and altzheimers, so, just something to keep in mind seen as how you already have a compromised gut <3 

(Also to those of you reading this now who are about to go check your pans: if it sticks? It’s not a cause for panic. Although if you have a known nickel allergy and you keep getting sick and you have no idea why…you may want to consider replacing your pans.)

There is also a third option available to you, which is ceramic pans. Which honestly have become my favorite frying pans to cook with. Due to their low metal content they will not work on induction stove tops, but if you’re using electric or gas you’re good to go.


They still don’t have the slippy non stick you get from teflon pans where flipping a pancake is akin to wielding a projectile weapon, but given how ceramic heats up and retains heat, they are pretty non stick and it makes them ideal for cooking with a lot of things. You also generally shouldn’t use metal utensils on them, because you can damage the glaze, but plastic, wood and silicone are fine.

They’re sort of like the easier to maintain version of cast iron in that regard and use less oil to cook with. (I personally would never fry eggs on stainless steel, meat and veg sure, but eggs need a surface that is more forgiving and ceramic was a god damn revolution to me. I speak from over a decade’s worth of experience of making breakfasts in restaurants and cafes) They are also great for throwing in the oven, and using as shallow casserole dishes, provided you make sure they are listed as oven safe. (Mine is good up to 350′f)

Due to the materials  they are made with, they are also pretty damn sturdy and hard to break, and you also can’t damage them by soaking them in water, which is also nice. You should not however cook on anything higher than a medium-high heat on them, whacking your heat up as far as you can with a ceramic pan is going to cause issues (it will cause issues with a lot of pans tbh, but you can generally get away with it for boiling water, just not in a ceramic pot), like breaking down the glaze quicker and ruining the non stick. You also should not take it from a hot stove and throw it in the sink right after cleaning. You really shouldn’t do that with any cooking utensil, but especially do not do it with ceramic as you might crack or even explode it. And no one wants that. 

Again, like stainless steel, not all ceramic pans are made equal and some will be made from cheap material/coated with an extra non stick layer to compensate for this, and they will break down faster/ruin your food, so keep that in mind if you do decide you want to look into them. Between the three, ceramic is in my experience the best, most easily maintained non stick without the health risks of teflon. It’ll also cost less in the long run, because you wont have to replace the pan as often as you would a teflon one.

I currently have the Green Pan Lima frying pans, which tbh I found a lot cheaper in an outlet mall than Amazon currently has it listed for, and I think Target might be selling them right now too for cheaper. It’s an excellent pan and I can get really crispy results with it due to how well it holds heat. I’ve also used it to bake with.

I have also used the Cuisinart ceramic range, which you can use metal on, but I sort of found the heat retention to be not as good as Green Pan Lima.

And then there’s also the Green Life range which tends to be cheaper and rather cute, even if it doesn’t feel quite as sturdy in my hands. (They currently have both the large and small pan on sale on Amazon for $30, which is pretty good)  I’ve got my eye on their ceramic bake ware sets though. I’m intrigued to see how they’d work out compared to my metal tins.

Anyway, I hope some of that was helpful for you, in weighing your options. Ultimately it’s about personal preference. I love all my pans, cast iron, stainless steel and ceramic, but it really depends on how much maintenance you are willing to put in, and how much you are willing to spend.

As for the rest of you, you now know more about cookware than you likely want to, but who knows, it might be useful for you one day :)

i just CAN’T GET OVER this chicken i just made omg, like you know how chicken is usually tasteless cardboard, i just pan-fried some in olive oil and garlic with nothing on it except salt and pepper and chili powder and it was the most delicious chicken i’ve ever made, god it was SO GOOD

Kudos to @valkyrie1969, one of the most generous, creative, and funny persons I’ve ever met. Pictured above are kale chips, bread crumbs, a canned whole chicken, almond butter, Mac ‘n Trees, ground coffee (in case there’s no grinder) and mixed nuts. This was her hostess gift to @fromheretoeternity1121. I canna even, still 🤣!


i hadn’t drawn anders in an AGE so I scribbled a fast baby. I expect in a modern au his little hovel is liable to be furnished entirely with hideous second-hand furniture. also he’s probably reading chicken soup for the cat lover’s soul it might be his favorite book 


So wow. I guess this is my first non-anime tv show recipe on this blog. Someone requested a decent fried chicken recipe, like one with hella crispy skin.

And so this recipe is dedicated to the asshole who stole all the crispy skin from the family sized fried chicken bucket in that one South Park Episode: Eric Cartman.

Get psyched, nerds, cause y'all are about to learn one of the yummiest fried chicken recipes on the face of this fucking planet.

Try to eat the entire chicken, tho, and not just the skin.


Extra Crispy Southern Fried Chicken
Serves: 5 (or one if you’re a dickbag who eats everyone’s serving of chicken)


Ingredients for Marinade-

  • Chicken*
  • 4 cups buttermilk
  • 2 Tbsp mustard
  • ½ tsp cayenne pepper
  • salt (as needed)

*You’ll need about 10 pieces, so you can either get some drums, wings and thighs separately, or you can get a whole chicken and cut it up into your 10 pieces. Either’s fine by me, yo.


Ingredients for Breading and Frying-

  • 4 cups of all purpose flour (add more if needed)
  • 2 Tbsp onion powder
  • 1 Tbsp oregano
  • salt and cayenne pepper (to taste)
  • 1 Tbsp baking powder
  • canola/vegetable/peanut oil (use one or more of those, enough so that it’d cover the entire chicken)



  • Mix the buttermilk, salt, cayenne pepper, and mustard in a large bowl. Take you chicken pieces and submerge them in the buttermilk. Once they’ve all been dipped, place the chicken and buttermilk in a bag and let it marinate for 4-8 hours.
  • Once that’s all done, take your oil and pour it into a medium sized sauce pan or a frying pan with taller sides. You want something that’ll be able to hold a lot of oil, and is tall enough for the chicken pieces to be covered entirely by the oil.
  • In the meantime, take the chicken out of the bag and let them rest on a huge ass plate. Take the flour, baking powder, oregano, onion powder, salt and pepper and mix that in a huge bowl. Once the oil reaches 375 F, coat the chicken in the flour mixture and, using tongs, drop those lil shits in the frying oil.
  • Don’t crowd the pan, once the chicken pieces have browned significantly and appear to be crispy, place them on a baking sheet. Repeat these steps until all the chicken have been fried. Then fry them again for about 1-2 minutes so they’re like, extra hella crispy. Just don’t burn them or whatever.
  • Serve this delicious gift from god with some mashed potatoes and embrace the obscene amount of calories you’re about to consume. Embrace your inner Cartman.



Once you’re done eating weeb food, check out this contest and like, try out for it and stuff. THERE’S PRIZES SO YEAH.

crankyandbitter  asked:

I'm sure you've gotten plenty of prompts already, but here's mine: Crane obsessively watching cooking shows when Abbie is in the catacombs because they remind him of her, and he wants to take care of her when she returns by cooking for her. Because he can't say that he loves her; he can only show her by caring for her on such a basic, yet necessary, level.


Abbie Mills had only one vice. And that vice was competitive cooking shows.

The cheesier the better. Chopped. Masterchef. Top Chef. She would never admit it, but Guy’s Grocery Games was a secret favorite.

They were just easy. Turn on and drop out.

Crane had always turned his pointy noise up at her, preferring to spend his scant free time doing serious things, like reading the collected works of Plato or playing Call of Duty. 

Until she disappeared.

Suddenly the moronic programming became his solace. In the few moments when he did not search for the lieutenant he turned to the programs she loved. 

His sleepless nights were lulled by the dry wit of Ted Allen, the screaming of Guy Fieri, the lovely Padme Lakshmi. He learned of durian and canned whole chicken and why one must always brine their turkey. His eidetic mind latched onto the basics of the julienne, the alchemy of sauces, the matching of flavors.

Even as he gorged himself on the mindless entertainment, his body grew wan. He could not eat while she was lost. But he could fill himself with her essence as best he could.

When she returned, it became his mission to ease her back into their world, to slowly reintroduce her to foods and remind her body how to do the things it must. He stocked the house with bags and bags of food and woke early each morning to cook a healthful breakfast for her – bland oatmeal, cold glasses of milk.

She was bashful at the attention, but for once, she seemed to know she needed assistance. And Crane took the greatest pride in the way her eyelashes fluttered when he made something particularly delicious. 

 As she healed, inside and out, he graduated to more elaborate dishes. Delicate bone broths, then mashed potatoes enriched with cream, then back to normal foods. He cooked her Thai feasts and French spreads and the dishes from his British childhood, which she laughed at and declared inedible.

But as he continued to cook for her, she ate less. The food was pushed around the plates or simply left to congeal. 

“Is this not to your liking?” He asked after she refused his beignets with whipped cream. “I can make something else. Anything you desire. Or I could fetch McDonald’s. Or Szechuwan Garden. Anything at all.”

“It’s not the food. It’s…you.” She pushed her plate away. “You shouldn’t be doing all this for me.”

“Nonsense,” he scoffed. “I want to. I take pleasure in it.”

“It makes me feel weird” She would not meet his eyes.

“But why? It is so much less than what you have done for me. It is a trifling, and a joy.”

She looked up at him, eyes hooded and roiling. 

Of course she had seen that every meal was a love letter, every bite a kiss deferred. 

And oh, his lieutenant was starving. But she could not take what he offered.

“I ask for nothing in return. Nothing.” He held out the little donut. “Only your happiness.”

She breathed in. Out. 

She was going to run.

But then Abbie took the beignet. “Can’t promise you that.”

Crane beamed broadly. “You are trying. And that is far more than enough.”

anonymous asked:

I saw you talking about eating clovers not too long ago and it made me really curious. What other plants/flowers are easy-ish to find that you can eat? What do they taste like? How do you prepare them? Sorry if it's a lot of questions!

honeysuckles are the easiest off the top of my head! and there’s probably some around you. just pinch the bottom, pull the stamen and suck up the nectar. here’s a few fun things to do with foraged plants.

  • fill a mason jar with honeysuckle flowers and simple syrup and let it sit for about a day. you can add this honeysuckle syrup to sorbets, sodas, etc. the taste is sweet and perfume-like.
  • pick ramps and wild onions. prepare a pesticide rinse and wash the dirt off thoroughly. mince it up, sauté it, and then add it to meats, soups, breads, etc. you can also throw a whole chicken into a stock pot, add a few onions, carrots, and celery, then boil until the chicken falls off the bone and you have a broth. strain and can. they are much stronger than normal onions, use caution!
  • clovers can be boiled and made into drinks or jellies. you can also sauté and add to rice dishes.
  • dandelion greens can be used in salads or turned into fritters. the flower buds can be turned into a jelly.
  • spruce and other conifers (if properly identified) can be brewed into teas or used as meat rubs. pine needles can induce abortions, so use caution if you are pregnant.
  • foraged berries and fruits can be used the same as store-bought. just prepare a pesticide bath for them. (i fill a sink with water, then 1 cup of vinegar, 2 tablespoons of baking soda, and 2 tablespoons of citrus juice.)
  • goldenrod can be used for medicinal purposes. infuse some into honey for allergy relief. infuse into olive oil for pain relief (it has a sort of cooling feeling when massaged into the skin.) and dry for use in teas. warning to arachnophobes, the goldenrod flower is home to the goldenrod spider.

and those are just a few. (but the list was long so i’ll spare the rest for next time.)

Things the signs would never say
  • Aries: "The easiest thing I ever learned how to do was to fold a fitted sheet so it looks nice and neat"
  • Taurus: "Sweet Sue's Canned Whole Chicken™ is one of my favorite foods"
  • Gemini: "I wish I had polio right now"
  • Cancer: "I can't think of a single greater sensation than the tingling I feel in my throat after eating a whole lot of shaving cream"
  • Leo: "I love having bad arguments with people I really love and cherish"
  • Virgo: "If I could be any animal it would definitely be the tapeworm"
  • Libra: "I really love the way avocados get when you cut them and leave them out for a long time, all brown and shit"
  • Scorpio: "I wish my parents would track my internet search history and read all my texts"
  • Sagittarius: "Learning about the Civil War lead me to purchase a Sago palm tree"
  • Capricorn: "I would kill someone for a nicely shaped pumpkin"
  • Aquarius: "I love being swindled, robbed, and bamboozled"
  • Pisces: "hrmblmgrmbldlopgrutisdimrfrtrpduudlqurtrilofpyjikolufmgusgrngsnurgl"

I always see those posts that say something like “Vegans wouldn’t survive the apocalypse!” and I’m almost thinking about making a sort of satirical e-book about how to survive the apocalypse as a vegan. I think it could be an interesting and fun concept, which would actually contain a lot of practical information incidentally (especially on how to survive when you’re poor or in a bad situation).