cane pant

anonymous asked:

FUCK JAS I CANE INMY PANTS I DID NOT EXPECT HIM TO MENTION DAN THEN HE DID I DIED AND FUCK CAN THEY COLLAB NOW I BET DAN JIZZED HIS PANTS RIGHT NOW

i didi dtootodffxc

hot toddy...

“You caught me goofing around with holiday-themed lingerie in the store and now everything is awkward and I’m still holding this fur-trimmed teddy, aren’t I?”

This one was requested by a number of you, I wonder why? Here’s some smutty, holiday cheer!

The only sound in the apartment beyond the “click, click, hiss” of the burner beneath the tea kettle as the gas finally ignites is his long overdue sigh of frustration. The clock on the microwave shows 2:27 am, two hours and twenty-seven minutes since he tried to go to sleep with certain visions dancing behind his eyelids. Visions of his roommate, his best friend, his Emma…and sheer red fabric trimmed in white fur. Fake fur, undoubtedly – but that’s not really what’s been keeping him up.

It was just supposed to be a fun day of holiday shopping, and it was - until it wasn’t. All it took was finding Emma in the lingerie department, holding the top of a racy holiday themed negligee up over her sweater clad breasts to send the rest of the afternoon into a series of awkward laughs, uncomfortable silences and meaningful looks. Well, the looks had certainly been meaningful to him, anyway. It’s the question of what he was seeing behind those beautiful green eyes of his best friend that has him up at almost 2:30 in the morning, making tea to add to his rum.

They’ve had moments before – him pulling her close to cuddle on their couch as they watch television and him kissing her softly on her cheek to say goodnight at the door to her room after one too many drinks. He’s pretty sure she knows his feelings, even if he has yet to find a way to put a voice to them. The fragile nature of his own heart has made him a bit uneasy at the prospect of opening it up to be shattered. His friendship with Emma is too important to lose.

So lost in his own thoughts, he doesn’t realize he’s no longer alone until the glow of the white string lights taped to the edge of their kitchen island catch the white of Emma’s sleep shirt from where she’s standing on the other side. Her high ponytail has loosened and a few tendrils of her blonde hair have escaped onto her shoulder, which she quickly pushes back behind her ear as she catches him staring.

“Apologies, Swan. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

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Shout out to the old lady who whacked this dude in the supermarket today with her cane for having his pants down to his ankles. I think that was just the start of his bad luck, considering it’s been piss pouring rain all day. When he got outside, he tripped and landed in to a mud puddle. I felt really bad for laughing, but he kind of deserved it. If your pants are that low, you should be expecting to trip. It’s kind of like having untied shoelaces — you may not have a long distance to walk, so you think you’ll make it, but you just end up tripping like an idiot anyway. Amen.

Drabbles till Christmas!

AN: I haven’t written some FLUFF in a while! Here you go! No shenanigans tonight! I’m doing a drabble everyday till Christmas! ((It’s December 20th here))
Pairing: SasuHina
Rating: T (for swearing)

Title: A Christmas Gift

Sasuke rolled over onto an empty space and immediately woke up. Onyx eyes scanned the dark ceiling as if it would give him the reason why there wasn’t a body squeaking and giggling under his weight. He looked over at glowing green number and read that it was just too damn early for whatever Hinata was doing. The curious Uchiha pushed himself up and ignored the cold ass floor.

He pocketed his hands in candy cane themed pajama pants. Once December hit, Hinata would pick a day while Sasuke was unconscious from missions to switch half of his wardrobe to Christmas spirit. His normal sweaters were replaced with knitted, festive disasters. His pajamas and underwear met the same fate. He loves her so he dealt with it…that’s what Ino and Sakura suggested.

Because what kind of Grinch would ruin Hinata’s Christmas cheer? Well, shit… She shouldn’t have picked Sasuke to spend her life with.

He walked down their decorated hall and ignored the memories of his mother doing the same thing. The whole house smelt sweet…like cookies, chocolate and peppermint. Hinata did the same thing and Sasuke gathered the same headache. He really was a grinch but it suited him. He liked it. He embraced the green creature within.

With that thought… He decided to scare her. The Uchiha male, carefully peeped around the corner. She was knelt down in of the Christmas tree…busy doing something.

Now Sasuke wasn’t festive but…for some reason he hated when she would sneak candy canes off the tree. It was huge and bright…nice looking and she was eating it away. Using those ninja skills, he crept up silently behind her.

She was humming then paused and whipped her head around. “Sasuke?” She called silently. “No…he’s exhausted…” She mumbled to herself and continued wrapping the small gift.

Sasuke leaned against the back of the couch and simply listened to her humming. He had to admit spending the holidays with someone he more than tolerated…was nice.

“We can go back to bed now.”

Sasuke looked up to see his grinning wife leaning over the couch. “Aa.” He huffed and cleared his throat. She took his hand and led him back to bed. “I tried to crush you… You weren’t there.”

Hinata climbed back in bed and stayed in awe at how Sasuke expressed him missing her presence. “I’m here now,” said the tired woman.

Sasuke nodded and proceeded to roll over on her chest. Hinata huffed. “You have a big head.”

He immediately moved. “Night.”

“Sasuke!” She giggled. “I’m - sorry!”

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