candynights replied to your post: Oops, lost a follower

I don’t know why you care about losing followers so much. :/ If they dropped out out they’re not worthy. =w=

Because I guess I always think maybe I’m taking my blog in the right direction or I just wrote a better fic/ drew something better than I have in months, or what not and that is usually when they unfollow. VS the days when I’m just flat out reblogging and not saying anything and it isn’t really ‘me’ doing the posts :\

I hope I don't jinx it... but things are looking up for me now.

And, other than my BFATFLADAEIBILAHAHDOWG, who I’ve known since preschool and is honestly the bestest friend/therapist ever (I <4 YOU OKAY BECAUSE <3 IS JUST TOTALLY NOT BIG ENOUGH OKAY, you’ve worked so hard for me and dealt with my stupid whining and attitude and claustrophobia, I have to say I’m a little surprised you still talk to me… I must be insANEly annoying ^^“), it’s all thanks to people I’ve met through Tumblr.

First, I’d like to thank Aj, the first person to become my Tumblr friend, even though we met on dA.  She was the first person I knew who I could relate with.  She made me feel less alone.  She’s given me so much advice and I don’t know where I would be without her words and experiences.  We have yet to eat our chicken nuggets and teriyaki together, but until then, thank you for all you’ve done for me through messages and fanmail.  Thank you for everything.

After that, I met Casey, who probably won’t see this because she’s trying to stay off Tumblr.  My dearest wifey who I met through trying to give her hope and love through anon.  I’m not sure why, but the moment I recovered, the first person I wanted to help through the same thing was her.  I started off giving you a heart, for hope, remember? Then I gave you a hug and a smile, I told you I would buy you gifts if I could and send them to your house, I wanted you to heal so badly.  But I think you were one of my inspirations to get better.  Every time you tried to recover and failed I pushed myself to try harder so I could help you.  And although I’m not sure how well I’m doing that, thank you for inspiring me to get better.  It’s my turn to inspire you, now.

Then someone who’s name I don’t even know yet.  She came to me on anon, asking me all kinds of random questions about myself, my life, just things in general.  Although she doesn’t know it, she’s helped me get a lot of things off my chest about life in general and dumb drama stuff.  Thanks for being interested and listening to me.

The next people I’d like to thank are Nicki and Crystal, who I met through my love of One Direction.  They probably won’t see this, seeing as they don’t follow me… but anyways.  Even though they run an update blog, I sent a very personal message to them and since then have gotten to know them very well.  They have always been there to listen and talk to, for things serious and humorous, and I’m very grateful to have met them.

After that, I met Lea.  I think this is when things really started to pick up.  I got into anime role play, where I met another person who has become one of my main rp buddies.  Lea was someone I got to know very well.  She was the first person on tumblr that I gave my skype to.  We became friends on facebook.  We talked a lot, about personal things, about planning rp’s, about potential fanfictions, OTPs.  I’m really glad I got to know her, too.  Although she followed me because of my One Direction spam at the beginning, that didn’t stop us from talking to each other, and I’m super happy we kept in touch.  Even though I’m her ex-girlfriend, haha, we’re great friends now and I’m thankful to have met her.

Keely, one of my favorite tumblr-famous people ever, was someone I’d wanted to talk to for a very long time.  I found her blog through poké-problems, which was a blog I loved, BTW.  I thought she was awesome, just scrolling through her blog and text posts and the like.  At the same time, I was too afraid to talk to her because it seemed like she was getting messages left and right.  The first time we talked, the conversation died down a little bit, and the next few times she didn’t see my messages.  But soon after, I messaged her again recommending books and an anime.  We ranted.  We laughed.  We skyped.  Although we’re probably not great friends and I’d love to know her better, I found her to be a really cool person and realized I probably shouldn’t have been intimidated by the number of followers she had.  She’s one of the sweetest people I’ve met, and she was the first person from Tumblr I video chatted with.  I hope, someday, we can get to know each other better.

But most of all, through Lea, I met Becca.  Becca, you deserve your own post.  It took a while for us to hit it off, I guess.  Two days or something.  It started when you were joking around, and things turned a little bit down when I took something the wrong way.  But that’s why we became best friends, isn’t it? You role played Kiseop for me.  You made my day.  And then sometime later, you felt a little bit down.  So I played Taemin.  That was the day we hit it off.  In six hours, we had plans for a double wedding.  Best friends in six hours.  That’s something no one else can brag.  And the biggest thing was that, that day, because of you, I hadn’t thought a single deprecating thing about myself.  You took me away from my problems, even if it was something that might seem petty to other people.  Simply by being yourself, you cheered me up.  You distracted me and neither of us knew it, until I went home and realized… I wasn’t thinking anything bad about myself.  Wow.  I was so surprised.  How often could that happen? Things were probably going be back to normal the next day.  But they weren’t.  I went another day without telling myself that I was never going to be good enough, or that I wasn’t, or that I didn’t like how I looked or that I was stupid.  That was two days.  And even if it ended today, because of you, I remembered what being happy felt like.  I’m sure that wasn’t the happiest I’ve ever been, but it’s the happiest I’ve been in years.  And I’m so glad you dug me out of the ditch I buried myself in.  I have no words to express how glad I am that I met you.

So thank you to all of you.  You all played huge roles in lifting my spirits.  There will never be a day I am not grateful to Tumblr for bringing us together; and to Kelly, there will never be a day I regret asking you if you were a boy or a girl (oh, pre-school me).  All of you.  Thank you so much.  I’m sorry if I’ve ever been a burden to you.  I owe you all so much, even if you didn’t know you played a big role in making me happy.  Thank you.