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The Loutten Conspiracy.

You’ve all heard about HarrDuck, but have you taken the time to consider Loutten, AKA Louis the Kitten? This conspiracy might just be one of, if not, the most plausible conspiracy we’ve ever covered on this blog. Let’s get into it.

Most widely popularized by James Corden of the Late Late show (seen above), the conspiracy that Louis Tomlinson is in fact a kitten began when James himself requested a member of One Direction to stand in as his Bond Villain cat. Who would he happen to chose? Without any hesitation? None other than Louis William Tomlinson. While this was a shock to some people, to see him so effortlessly “impersonate” a feline, this conspiracy actually has quite the background of substantial evidence, each piece of proof getting more and more convincing as we move along…

Proof #1: The scrunchy face

Quite the resemblance for someone just “squinting”

The comparison between Louis Tomlinson in his natural state of joyful detestation and that of a cat in a similar state are eerily similar, right down to the whiskers. Does this mean that Louis has been a feline all along?

Proof #2: Sweaterpaws

Sweaterpaws. PAWS. P A W S.

While many a human can control themselves when presented or robed in a baggy/oversized garment, it would appear that one Louis Tomlinson could not do the same. Is it because he’s youthful at heart? Or, more plausibly, because kittens love to paw at floppy fabrics/strings/knits/anything that dangles? 

Here’s where things get really real for this conspiracy…

Proof #3: Exclusive candid photo of HarrDuck and Loutten sharing a smooch

Compared to a photoshopped picture of what “human” Louis and Harry would look like kissing, the resemblance? Uncanny.

This is one of the more startling pieces of evidence in favour of Loutten and HarrDuck. The fact that this piece of proof reflects consistency in both conspiracies is what truly makes this piece of evidence feel more meaningful and important. Still not convinced? Well…

Proof #4: Exclusive footage of other members of One Direction holding “unknown” kittens while Louis remains out of frame or “absent”

Both Tabby cats…blue collars…seems…odd.

Sure, we can look at these pieces of evidence as mere oversights, maybe those are other kittens, they can’t possibly be Louis how absurd! …Or is it? In the first picture, Zayn Malik is pictured with an unidentified kitten. As we know, Louis and Zayn used to be particularly close (we’ve all seen the “joint lit, happy days” leaked footage) so it wouldn’t be out of character for them to have been hanging out outside of work-related obligations. “Human” Louis has no alibi to explain his whereabouts at the time of the picture, which only further pushes the idea that Louis is that kitten.

The second piece with band member Liam Payne seems to come with an alibi, Louis was also on stage at this point (just out of frame of this gif) however because Jimmy Kimmel is pre-recorded who knows what kind of editing techniques could’ve been used here. The fact that there’s exclusive cutting and quick camera work when we get a full picture of all the boys leads us here at 1Dunsolved to believe the “porno background” Harry spoke of was more than likely a green screen to allow a projection of “human” Louis while kitten Louis was cradled in a teacup.

This brings us to our most relevant and shocking piece of evidence. If you weren’t convinced yet, this HAS to do the trick…!

Proof #5: Even Google believes Louis is a kitten

In this case, 2+2=4

So what is the truth? Will we ever know? If this is true, what does this mean for Louis’ future solo career? With 2/4 members potentially existing as human/animal hybrids of sorts, what does the future look like for One Direction? However much evidence we think we have, there is no confirmation of this theory by Louis or his reps. We tried calling multiple times and they blocked our number… Awkward.

Therefore, this mystery of “The Loutten” remains

UNSOLVED.

-The First Ghost