I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one’s very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away?
I’ve wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but I still love life. That ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our most pernicious inclinations. What could be more stupid than to persist in carrying a burden that we constantly want to cast off, to hold our existence in horror, yet cling to it nonetheless?
(Wiki: This aria poses some difficulties. Technically, it is among the most fiendishly challenging coloratura soprano arias. If sung as written throughout, there are three high E-flats, two staccato and one sustained; there are also numerous uses of high C and D-flat. Some of the florid passages are very intricate, calling for marksmanship of the highest order. Theatrically, it demands an elaborate comic staging, in which Cunegonde adorns herself with jewellery while singing and dancing around the stage (much as does Marguerite in the “Jewel Song” of Gounod’s Faust), and has a satirical quality that is a challenge to perform.)
Observe how bravely I conceal The dreadful, dreadful shame I feel Ha ha ha ha!