canadian boys

Hockey Gothic
  • Your grandfather tells you “When I was born, Jaromir Jagr had already played 20 seasons.” Your father tells you “When I was born, Jagr had already played 20 seasons.” You look up Jagr on HockeyDB. By the time you were born, Jaromir Jagr had already played 20 seasons.
  • You hum a melody. Everybody hums a melody. You can’t make out the words, but the melody repeats after a short time. “The rest name new can lay, is the foot mold okay name,” it sounds like. You don’t understand.
  • The Leafs are up 11-0 after 2. Tears are running down your face. You know they will lose in the shootout.
  • Ovechkin is loading up his shot. You can see the defense going down one by one. The forwards try to play defense and theydrop, too. They can’t get up again. Ovechkin is still loading up his shot.
  • “Phil Kessel is a Stanley Cup Champion,” somebody says. Others are nodding along. The president of the US is live on TV. “Phil Kessel is a Stanley Cup Champion,” he says.
  • A toad croaks. It sounds like “parity.” You look at the toad. Gary Bettman’s face stares back. “Shootout,” it croaks.
  • Your team won. You are happy. Somebody is screaming on Youtube. Your team lost. Somebody is screaming on Youtube. You like, subscribe and tell all your friends. You scream.
  • Somebody takes a shot on an empty net. Carey Price is on the bench. He makes the save. The refs skate to the bench to get the puck. You scream.
  • You can’t make out the print on Don Cherry’s suit. It seems to change while you’re watching. It looks at you. “Good Canadian boys,” the suit says.