- tw: suicide mention (passive), abuse mention, religion, DID
- This is a positive post despite the dark topics mentioned.
If you don’t want to know about my serious mental health stuff, skip this post. I’m not putting it under a read more because I want to teach myself to be proud that I survived and that I am not faking and that a professional validated me.
Today I had occupational and cognitive therapy in the morning and a psychologist appointment in the afternoon. This morning was pretty dull, but I got a lot out of seeing the psychologist.
She sat down with me and we talked about where every system member came from, when we first split, why we split, and what the purpose of that alter has now. We talked about individual alter’s issues and how to work through them. We talked about who we hope we can integrate and who we hope stays around. We talked about the religious brainwashing and early abuse. We talked about the cult parallels and the psychological manipulation. We talked about how it wasn’t meant to do harm, but it did, and now I’m here. We’re here.
She told me we were real. We are valid. I am NOT alone because I can’t fake the things that are happening to us.
She told me it’s a miracle I’m alive today. Between suicidal alters, brainwashing, religious programming, and a broken support system, she said it was amazing that we had survived so long. We. Because we survived together.
She also wants me to pursue paganism and help the system heal using my beliefs, especially the alters most harmed by the religious abuse in the past.
So for once…I really feel validated.
I really feel like I belong in the communities I strive to fit in. I feel like I can use the word “survivor” to describe us. Us. We.
And WE are going to heal. Together.
Thank you for reading and thank you for your support.