“Super High School Level Man’s Nut” from the Super Homeroom Doujin [here]
The full comic for that thing I did a week ago in the middle of studying. I’m not really sure what to work on next, though I may just do the other stories from this doujin. There’s a story that focuses on the Strawberry House guys, so maybe I can fill out the Soudam request with that one? I dunno.
Again, I apologize for taking forever to update. Still coping with everything that happened. It still hurts, a lot. There’s a hole in my chest that only Zayn Malik can fill.
I hope you enjoy the chapter. I tried. I really did, I’m sorry if you don’t like it.
I’ll try to write the next one as soon as I can.
I love you all so very very much, if any of you need to vent or cry or talk, I am here for all my fellow Directioners. People outside the fandom don’t understand the pain, they might say they do but they really don’t. So please, if you need someone to talk to, I am always here, for every single one of you.
When I got back to work, Eleanor was waiting for me in my office as she studied the test results of Samantha, our newest patient.
“It looks like a Wilms’ tumor…” Eleanor sighed as she looked at Samantha’s CT scans that hung on the light board in my office.
I walked over to her and studied the scans myself. Her right kidney had a cluster of dark cells on it.
“Damn.” I sighed, “Let’s run a few more tests to make sure and if it is Wilm’s, we’ll be able to see what stage she’s in.”
“Yeah… okay.” Eleanor hummed then made a few notes on Samantha’s chart.
I walked around to other side of my desk, pulled open my drawer, grabbed the orange prescription bottle and popped two pills.
“What happened between you and Zayn today? He seemed so confused and hurt when you left like that.” Eleanor pulled all the scans off the board and placed them back in a file as I grabbed my water bottle.
“I don’t know…” I said after I washed the pills down with lukewarm water.
“You know you can always talk to me Y/N. Oh and Liam’s coming back today and he said you better see him tonight.” She looked up at me.
“I have been thinking a lot about my past and well Zayn never really talks about being with me in the future, you know, long term. Don’t you and Louis talk about getting married, having kids, buying a house?”
“Yeah… of course.” Eleanor sat down in one of the chairs in front of my desk.
“Well Zayn doesn’t talk about that stuff with me and I’m afraid that he doesn’t see a future with me.”
“Have you ever tried talking to him about those kind of things? I mean, do you see yourself marrying him?”
“No, I’ve never brought it up because I thought it was scare him off or something… and yes, I can see myself being with him in the long run. I love him El but after today, it just seems like he obviously doesn’t think about me being in future.” I pulled my phone out of my purse to see a few messages from Zayn asking me to calling him back and then one from Liam telling me to meet him at the bar after work.
“Hey, just talk to him about it, at least give him another chance, he was probably just surprised.” Eleanor smiled.
“Yeah I kind of did just suddenly throw it at him. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just all of a sudden got really angry, it was so weird.” I tucked my hair behind my ear.
“Well we can talk more about it tonight with Liam, we need a guy’s perspective on this too.” She stood up and straightened her skirt, “I’m going to go ahead and order these tests for Samantha.”
She picked up the files off my desk.
“Okay.” I nodded and she walked out.
- - - - -
“Hey where are you at Gemma?” I called my sister as I locked up the bakery.
“I’m at The Pony Bar.”
“You’re at the bar alone? That’s kind of depressing Gem.” I chuckled as I walked over to my black BMW X10 SUV and climbed in.
“I’m not alone. I never said I was.” She chided.
“Oh. Okay, well I’ll be there in a bit.” I buckled my seat belt and started the car.
“Okay see you soon,” Then she hung up.
I plugged my iPhone in the car charger before I pulled out of my parking space and headed to the bar.
For a Thursday night, the bar was pretty crowded. I weaved my way through looking for my sister, bumping into people.
“Hey Harry! The usual, I presume?” Jessie, the bartender asked when he saw me walk by.
“Yeah! Thanks man!” I chuckled. Wow, I’m a usual at this bar now. I blame Niall.
After he handed me my beer, I turned around and scanned the place for Gemma but instead saw my best mate walking towards me, bringing his empty beer glass up to the bar.
“HARRY!” Niall hugged me as I held my beer up.
“I didn’t know you were here.” I took a sip of my blonde beer.
“Yeah well I’m here with my college mate Louis and I also ran into your sister earlier and told her to come along.”
“You’re the one that invited my sister here?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah… she asked me what I was doing tonight and I told her I was going to be here and I invited her,” He paused then raise an eyebrow back at me, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m not looking at you like anything. Come on, go grab another beer and take me to her.”
Niall lead me to the very back of the bar to a round table in the corner where I saw Gem talking to a guy with messy brown hair, sporting a black shirt under a navy blue blazer and black pants. He had an unusual accent, but I could tell he was British.
I kissed my sister on the cheek, “Hey Gem.”
“Louis, this is my best mate Harry, also Gemma’s brother.” Niall gestured his hand between Louis and I.
“Harry! Nice to meet you, Niall never shuts up about you! I feel like I already know you!” He held his hand out and I firmly shook it.
“Nice to meet you too, Niall never shuts up about you either.” I chuckled and then took a seat.
“So… it just seems like Niall never shuts up.” Gemma stuck her tongue out at Niall and he just frowned.
“You’re the pastry chef of ‘His & Hers Bakery’ right?” Louis asked and I just nodded since I was in the middle of drinking my beer.
“And owner.” Gemma added.
“Has Niall told you how addicted you got my girlfriend to your cupcakes?” Louis popped a peanut in his mouth.
“Yeah, she calls them crack-cakes, right?” I smiled.
“Crack-cakes?!” Gemma laughed, “That’s awesome!”
“Yeah! She’s going to flip out, I’m about to text her that I’m with you.” Louis pulled out his black iPhone and moved his fingers across the screen.
“Where is she anyways? I thought she was coming tonight.” Niall asked as he grabbed a peanut from the bowl in the middle of the table.
“Yeah but one of her best mates just came back from out of town and her best girl friend is having some issues… I don’t know… she said a lot of words and I just said ‘okay have fun.’ They are actually all at a bar not too far from here.” Louis shrugged.
We spent the next few hours getting to know each other a bit. He learned about Gemma and I growing up in Holmes Chapel and where we went after we both graduated from high school.
I found out that Louis is originally from Doncaster, which explains the northern accent, and that he and Niall met each other during graduate school in Boston. Niall and him told me about all the trouble they got into. Same ol’ Niall, sounds just like all the trouble we got into during his undergrad. Then they told us about the night where Louis met his now girlfriend of four years.
“Hey man, I know I just met you, but could you meet with one of my mates and his fiancee? They really would love for you to make their wedding cake!” Louis asked after he bought us all another round.
“Yeah! Niall actually mentioned it to me last week! Of course!” I pulled out my wallet from my back-pocket and found one of my business card, “Give this to her and tell her to call me and we can set up an appointment.”
“Thanks! This means a lot! ” Louis said then held up his full beer glass to me.
I lightly tapped his glass with mine and drank half of it in one go.
- - - - -
We had been drinking at The Press Lounge since Eleanor and I left the hospital at 8pm.
It was now 10:30pm.
I was pretty drunk. At this point, I’ve had about 5 beers and 5 shots… or 7.
We were all sitting around our table, Eleanor and I on the couch and Liam directly across from us.
“What’s going on with you Y/N?” Liam sheepishly grinned at me, he was almost drunk.
“I don’t… even… know.” I shook my head.
“Don’t lie to us. How many times have I said that?” Eleanor pouted.
“I just don’t want to get hurt again!” I whined.
“What do you mean again?” Eleanor rested her chin in her palm as her elbow rested on the arm rest.
“Wait… does this have to do with Harry?” Liam cocked his head.
“Wait what? I never told you guys about Harry, I haven’t told anyone about him.” I blinked rapidly at Liam.
“Okay… well we did go to the same schools for like five years Y/N… and I remember the whole school talking about you and Harry at one point for a week, of course I was a nerd back then and we weren’t friends, I didn’t pay much attention.” He slurred.
“Oh, well… you’re still a nerd..” I covered my face and sighed. I never ever talked about Harry to anyone after I moved to Boston. It was always too painful to even say his name.
Liam stuck his tongue out at me.
“WHO IS HARRY?! I want to know! WHY DO I NOT KNOW? I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND!!” Eleanor slapped the table. She was definitely drunk, that was the only time she was ever really mean.
Liam just laughed as he watched Eleanor flip out.
“Okay calm your self woman and I’ll tell you!” I exclaimed.
I sat there and told my two best friends everything that happened between Harry and I, minus all the sexual details. I was really drunk and it was the only time that I’m open book.
This was the first time I have ever told anyone or talked about what happened between Harry and I, so it was bittersweet. I told them how we met when we were five and how our friendship started over a cupcake; and how when we were younger we were inseparable. I told them that I realized I was in love with him at the age of thirteen, but didn’t admit it until he kissed me randomly when we were fourteen which then sparked the beginning of our new relationship.
I told them that somewhere along the line, our innocent love for each other turned into something more… something passionate but secretive, because my father was completely against us. I told them about the many times I snuck Harry inside my house when Anne was out of town because he didn’t want to sleep alone. I told them about all the times I had to tutor him because he never paid attention in school.
I told them how I loved him more than I loved himself and how he made me feel alive and taught me how to never give up and to always believe in myself.
That he taught me how to love.
I told them how his smile was the most infectious and my favorite in the world, next to his green eyes, and that he never ever failed to cheer me up when I was feeling blue.
Then I eventually had to tell them about our break up and how I never understood why it happened. I told them about all of our plans that we had made and how I felt as if he forgotten them and broken all his promises. I told them that for the last month we were together he began being distant and I just thought it was because I was moving to the states. I told them exactly what he said to me when he broke it off because I still remembered every single word exchanges between us, even after all these years.
I teared up a few times but always stopped them from falling since I hadn’t cried for Harry in a long time.
“I think… a part of me will always love him. He was in my life for 11 years and he was my first love.” I sniffled as I finished, damn it a few tears did fall.
“He was your soul mate.” Eleanor squeaked as tears rolled down her face.
“I’m so sorry Y/N… I had no idea that happened… after you left, a few months later I moved to the states as well… but what I can tell you is that he wasn’t the same person anymore.” He divulged.
“Well it’s the past, it’s been ten years since I’ve seen him so I’m sure he’s happy now.” I smiled.
Eleanor threw her arms around me and started sobbing in my shoulder, “He was your soul mate! I know he is because Louis is mine and everything you said about how you felt for him is exactly how I feel about Louis!!!”
I wrapped my arms about her and chuckled, “Yeah I know you love him El… I know you do.”
“Eleanor, can you please quiet down… you’re causing a scene!” Liam hissed.
“Oh shut up Liam! Our best friend just told us something that she’s been keeping to herself for years! Have some compassion!” She hissed right back. Eleanor was definitely drunk.
“It’s okay Eleanor. It’s whatever. I just honestly don’t want to get hurt again. I do love Zayn and I do want to be with him but not if he doesn’t feel the same about me.”
“Y/N… do you really love Zayn? I mean, really love him? Because the way you just talked about Harry… I’ve never seen you talk about Zayn that way,” Liam clucked his tongue as he leaned forward with both his elbows on his knees.
“You never love two people the same way. I do love Zayn. He brings out this artsy and adventurous side of me that no one else does. Remember when he surprised me with that trip to Europe for two weeks? That was incredible. He planned everything from the start of the trip until the end… No one has ever done something like that for me! He makes me really happy and I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. I do love him Liam.” I was tearing up at this point because now I was feeling guilty about how I treated him eariler that day.
Liam walked over to our side of the table and sat next to me, throwing his arm over my shoulder,“You’re right, you don’t ever love to people the same way, but I just want you to be happy Y/N, that’s all I care about.”
“Me toooo!” Eleanor rested her head on my shoulder.
“I know,” I nodded at my two best friends, “I know.”
- - - - -
December 2016: Chicago, Illinois
I shuffled my feet on the floor of Claire’s apartment. Waiting for her to finish getting ready for our date tonight.
I moved to Chicago about year ago in 2015, after I finished the two year program at Ferrandi. I applied to work at the Alinea and immediately got hired as their pastry chef since my professors at Ferrandi gave such great recommendations. I was kind of the teacher’s pet during my two years there, which was weird because in grade school, most of my teachers were annoyed of me since I never paid attention half the time.
A few months after I started at Alinea, one of the best restaurants in the world, I applied to a top rated culinary institute in Chicago and got accepted. So for a year, I attended class in the morning and then work at night.
I met Claire my first day of class. But didn’t talk to her except for the occasional, ‘Hey, how’s your day?’
She approached me during our second week of lessons. She couldn’t figure out how to whip her cream smoothly like I could and she asked for help.
After that day, she started sitting next to me during classes and then eventually she invited me out to dinner and I said yes.
It had been four years since I even looked at another girl and it was difficult for me but I had to try. I was the one that walked away from Y/N and I had no idea what or how she was doing, plus I knew that was never going to see her again, despite how much I still loved her.
Studying sessions turned into make out sessions with Claire and eventually one night we ended up in her bedroom.
That was four months ago.
I could tell that Claire was falling for me and I felt guilty because I knew that I wasn’t feeling the same way.
The way she looked and smiled at me during dinner tonight, it was making me feel more like shit every second.
The entire night I told myself that I had to do it, I had to break up with her.
“Claire?” I sat down on her couch after we got back to her apartment.
“Yes?” She sweetly smiled at me as she handed me a glass of wine.
“I need to be honest with you about something.” I slowly said.
She put her wine glass down and turned her body towards around me.
“I don’t think we should keep seeing each other anymore.”
God, I am such a dick.
“What? Why?” I saw her lips quiver.
“I don’t feel the same way about you as you do about me.” I felt like shit but I had to do it, I couldn’t keep leading her on.
“You don’t like me…?” I could see her blue eyes tearing up as she tucked her blonde hair behind her ear right ear.
“I do like you Claire, its just… I’m never going to feel more than that for you and I don’t think it’’s fair that I continue seeing you when I know you deserve more than what I can give you.”
We talked for about half an hour, I felt terrible but it had to be done. I knew she wanted a relationship with me, I could tell by all the small things she started to do for me… and I didn’t want that from her.
After that weekend passed, she avoided me at school, always sitting in the furthest seat away from me. I felt so bad but I understood that she needed her space.
I didn’t speak to Claire the rest of year, until we graduated.
I gave her a hug and wished her luck on whatever she does.
- - - - -
Claire and I eventually became friends again, since by that time she had already started dating someone else and moved to California with her boyfriend. She was now the head chef at a great restaurant in L.A. that earned a Michelin star.
After Claire, I went through a period of sleeping with girls here and there. I mean, I was no where near of a man-whore like Niall who slept with a different girl every week, but I was a man.
There was Bridgette. She transferred to Chicago from France for work and happened to stay in the same building I was while she was there. She and I briefly slept together for a month until she eventually went back to France.
Then there was Gwen. Niall had introduced me to her one night when he was in Chicago for work. He was trying to sleep with her friend, so I had to keep Gwen company while Niall and Karla were off in the corner snogging. When Niall finally got the green light into Karla’s pants, well… I eventually got the same from Gwen. That was a one time thing.
There was Carly, she was wild. She was all about parties. Every time we hung out, it was at a party and we would both get wasted and end up sleeping together. After the sixth time, I got tired of it and just stopped accepting her invitation, my liver couldn’t handle it.
When I first moved to New York with Niall to start planning my bakery, there was one more girl, her name was Kiara. She was gorgeous and absolutely brilliant. She was of African descent with light caramel colored skin and I absolutely adored her West African accent. She had just graduated from New York University with her Masters in Psychology and had just started working at a rehabilitation center for Drugs & Alcohol. We dated briefly for a few months and the same thing happened with Claire, happened between Kiara and I.
After five months, I could tell she wanted more and I knew I couldn’t give it to her because I was focused on my bakery and perfecting my own recipes. I had to break it off with her. She took it really hard and told me she never wanted to see me again. I felt like an asshole.
Kiara and I ended a year ago and since then I promised myself that I would not date another woman until I was ready to give her the relationship she deserved.
- - - - -
May 2020: Manhattan, New York City (Present Day)
I left my car in a private garage and took a cab home after Liam, Eleanor and I couldn’t drink anymore.
Eleanor had Louis come pick her up after he finished hanging out with Niall, what a funny Irish man.
Liam and I actually lived in the same building so we ended up riding home together.
“Oh god Sophia’s going to kill me for being this drunk.” He laughed as we exited the cab and greeted our doorman.
“Just tell her it’s my fault and that I kept hanging you shots!” Which was true.
“Yeah that’s not going to work with her.” Liam shook his head.
“She stayed at your place waiting for you?” I asked as we both hit the buttons to our floors on the elevator. He stayed on the 10th floor, I stayed on the 11th.
“Well she had to work late and since her job is closer to our place than hers, she just ended up coming here and crashing.” He dropped his head on my shoulder.
My feet were hurting so I took off my heels and held them in my fingers as the elevators made their way up. I looked at the watch on his wrist, it was a quarter past midnight. Holy shit, we drank for 4 hours.
Liam gave me a hug before he stepped off the elevator, “Love you Y/N. Chin up.”
“I love you too Liam, thanks for being the brother I never had.” I kissed his cheek and he waved goodbye as the elevators door closed.
I had to literally drag myself down the hall. I fumbled around my keys, trying to figure out which one of the ten keys I had were for my condo.
When I finally figure it out, I opened the door abruptly, almost falling in. God, I was really fucking drunk. After I told Liam and Eleanor about Harry, I didn’t want to feel all that pain again so I just drank a few more beers to numb myself.
“Zayn?” I saw my very gorgeous yet tired boyfriend sitting on my bed, in his sweats, on his MacBook, wearing glasses, waiting for me.
He immediately closed his laptop and put it on my side table and jumped out of bed and wrapped me in his arms as he kissed me passionately. I dropped my purse, heels and keys and place my hands on his waist as I kissed him back.
Zayn was the first to break the kiss, “Babe, I do want to be with you Y/N. I do want a future with you, okay? I just… I’m terrible at planning ahead because when I do that and things change, I get really frustrated and angry. But, I am terrified of losing you, believe that.”
“Sssshh Zayn.” I put my finger up to his lips, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have cornered you like that and I shouldn’t have left you in my office. I’m so so sorry.” I lightly kissed his lips.
“No, it was how you felt, I can never be mad or upset at you for feeling the way you do but it did made me think and I do want it with you. I do see you in my future… five- ten years from now, I see myself waking up next to you every day, because I love you.” He took a deep breath, “I just don’t want to plan anything right now, you know? We’ve only been together for a year and I don’t want either of our hopes to get too high.” He kissed my forehead.
“I know. I understand… Please… just make love to me?” I looked into his beautiful brown eyes. I was drunk, I was feeling guilty and I was horny. I needed to feel him touch me.
Zayn didn’t answer with words. Instead he crashed his lips into mine, picked me up by wrapping my legs around his waist and carried me to my bed. For a skinny man, he was very strong.
Zayn was always a man of action. He always showed me how he felt and that night he made sure as hell to prove to me just how much he loved me.
Over and over and over again.
- - - - -
A week later.
May 2020: Manhattan, New York City (Present Day)
My bakery is closed at 5pm on Weekdays, 6pm on Saturdays and not open on Sundays. I believe that my crew deserved a day off since half of them come in at 5 am to prep for the day.
Claudia and Vera helped me decorate and design my cakes and cupcakes. They were the sweetest ladies and reminded me of my former bosses at W Manderville. I adored them.
Darren and Cliff were my prep and delivery guys. They had to make sure that everything we needed for each week was ordered and delivered and they had to open and prep the kitchen each morning, making it ready for me when I come into work.
Candice was front-of-house/manager. She would help make sure everything ran smoothly at the bakery in the front, taking care of customers and making sure that we made enough money every month.
There was also Justin, one of our newest editions, his job was the clean the entire kitchen and keep it clean throughout the day. I do not tolerate a dirty work area or work place, so once I started baking, he already needed to start cleaning.
Casey and Emily, our two newest editions that Candice just hired to help her in the front. Since business was booming, Candice suggested we hire more people to help serve the customers. Not only did we have desserts, we also sold tea and coffee.
Then there was Niall, who I technically still consider an owner even though everything was in my name, he was marketing. His job was to make sure that business kept booming.
The Sunday after my sister left, I went into the bakery because there was a new recipe that I’ve been trying to figure out for the longest of time.
It was for her.
The recipe had included nutella in the batter along with bananas and almond extract, but I never had the right amount of sugar, butter, almond extract, salt or egg combination.
I had tried almost every kind of combination and nothing worked.
Before Gemma left she told me something that reminded me of Y/N.. I told Gemma everything that happened between Y/N and I and then the talk that her father and I had about three years after I broke up with her. She was the ONLY person who knew why I really broke up with Y/N, besides her father and probably her mother.
“You have got to stop holding yourself back from being in a relationship Hazza.” She hugged me as we waiting for her to pass through security at the JFK airport.
“What are you talking about?” I hummed.
“You. You haven’t been in one decent relationship in ten years and I can tell that you’re stopping yourself from feeling anything more than love.”
“I don’t need to be in a relationship Gem.” I gave her a serious look.
“I know you don’t need to be in one Harry. That’s not what I’m saying, I just don’t want you to end up being alone because you keep closing yourself off to girls. I know you still love her, but it’s been a long time.”
“Yeah so? It doesn’t mean that I love her any less. I still love her just as much as I did back than as I do now, shit probably even more.” I stared out at the crowd of people at the airport checking in for their ticket.
“But you don’t even know her anymore. She’s probably a different person now. It’s just more of a bittersweet memory than anything now. Cherish those memories you made with her, and then make more with someone else. You deserve to be happy.”
That was it.
Nutella was too sweet. I needed to add something to balance it out.
What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn’t figure it out the past five years but something my sister said triggered it? Come on Harry.
I first tried a variety of bittersweet cocoa, but it wasn’t until I added the right amont of bittersweet chocolate that perfected it.
I probably made 40 different cupcakes that night but I didn’t want to give up until I got it right. Finally, when I finished this very last one, I took a bite.
I did it.
The cupcake it self was sweet with Nutella, bananas and almonds. It was topped with a whipped bittersweet cream that I created and finished with raspberries on top, her favorite.
It was fucking perfect. It tasted exactly how I dreamed it would once I got it right.
I looked up at the clock after I finished eating and hell, it was almost five in the morning.
I was here from 5pm Sunday until 5am Monday. I had no fucking idea it was even that late… well early. I had been at the bakery for 12 hours trying to perfect this damn cupcake that reminded me of her.
It meant ‘bittersweet love’ in French.
My bittersweet love for Y/N.
That was what I was going to name the cupcake, ‘Amour aigre-douce.’
the part of the date where you roll up like “i got $4 worth of wine and i’m bloated from gas”
the part of the date where you go with maybe-strangers to a semi-classy joint and the other dude in the foursome orders the beef heart and you say to the waiter “mmm sounds good sir can i ask you though if you use local bees”
the part of the date where you drunkenly spend twenty minutes and a shitload of elbow grease trying to corkscrew-drill into what ends up being the twist-off cap of the second bottle of wine but where you are smiling and dancing the whole time because r&b music is playing and you can hear the tub filling up
the part of the date where the alcohol has built a little campfire between you and them and you’re naked and in their bed softly and tone-deafly singing along to björk
the part of the date where there’s nothing you’d rather do than accept the invitation to play hooky from work and lie in bed all day but where you also need to shit pretty bad so you leave
“Does it actually matter who a human being falls in love with? Can’t we fall in love with a personality? A personality that is so pure and joyful, that can fill us up when we are the most empty. We shouldn’t have to label ourselves to be accepted.”
Abby & Amos make a beautiful, gentle couple. Abby can be pet all over and will even roll over for belly rubs. She is happy to sit on laps when she’s feeling comfortable too! Amos, a bit shyer, enjoys chin scratching and will lean into chin rubs. Amos is also a catnip fiend who will come running as soon as he smells his favorite treat! These 11-year-olds were surrendered because they were stressed living in a lively home with children. As a result, these two would probably do best in a calm, quiet home. These siblings can often be found snuggled together, and are rarely too far apart. If you’re looking for double the love, look no further than Abby & Amos!
If you are interested in meeting Abby and Amos or any of the cats at The Ellen M. Gifford Cat Shelter, visit our website ( www.giffordcatshelter.org). While you’re there, you can fill out an online adoption application for Abby and Amos and learn more about our shelter. You can also call us at 617-787-8872.
I feel like I should have something interesting to update. I don’t really. Yet, I feel compelled to write an update anyway.
A little while ago my family sent me into a mild anxiety attack by suggesting I move. This can be seen a couple ways. First and foremost, get off your butt you have a job, this will be good for you. I like to think of this as the real reason because it is the one that makes the most sense and yes, I do need to. It will be good for me. I NEED MY OWN SPACE. However, that is not how this was presented to me. It was presented to me by my step dad one evening when mom was not home and he had reached the end of his rope with HER whining and complaining about the house. She can’t stop complaining about the perfectly beautiful house she has and that she needs more space. (let me tell you that she needs more space because she can’t stop filling it with stuff. I sometimes think she could be a hoarder if pushed a little farther.) So he asks me in a very nice way to think about moving out because that will make mom happy because she’ll have less to complain about.
Riiiight. That would last for like 10 minutes and then she’d complain about something else. Or buy a new dining room table and chairs to fill the space. (she has 4. yes 4.) In any case I pretty much told him NO. Not because I don’t think it’s time for me to do so but because it will not solve any problem and would actually leave him as the only person there to take on the brunt of her insane rants.
That being said, I have actually started looking and have some prospects for next month. I realized after a day of processing that night, that I want to get away from her badly enough that I’m dropping almost all of my expectations of an apartment and giving up on my dream of a house just to have my sanity back.
What I find kind of hilarious about the whole thing is that mom has been in an “I love having you here!” phase for the last month or so and seems completely oblivious to my step dad’s plan. I don’t know that he told her he was going to ask me to move out. When I find out if I really can move soon, it will likely come as a surprise to both of them. I’m quite sure my mother will think I’ve done it to spite her…again. She thought that the first time I moved out and was mad at me for years. Because I moved out on her birthday…which fell on the only holiday weekend I had off to move.
I guess that’s all I have to update. Thanks for sticking around to read it.
If I may.. make a eensy teensy long-winded suggestion on how to enliven your blogs with a new follow?
There’s this rp blog called abandonedgod that features Omega, a Classic Doctor Who character. The mun is a darling (quite possibly a best friend of mine).
Anyways, the Omega here is great. Omega follows right along the canon route and goes AU occasionally. The mun always has fresh ideas for plotting. So, don’t be afraid to poke them if you want to interact.
If you’re not too sure as to who Omega is, I’ve compiled a rough guide. The mun can fill you in more.
From the moment she found out, an image started forming in the hitherto empty corners of her mind. It was a swelling, like a wave just as the
wind begins to move the water, only slightly. Not yet quite a
reflection, in so much that it was only a shadow, a silhouette that had
begun to slowly gain substance, day after day. Much in the same way that
the infinitesimal speck of life that was now rising
inside of her had suddenly appeared from that incomprehensible
nothingness that had always been there. There is a place in our hearts
that are reserved for this, and this only, and if it is taken away it
can never be filled, not by anything. Not by time, distance, or the
indifference that allows one to let go, so as to save your life. It is
impossible to let it slip unnoticed into the past. The void that it
leaves behind, is the kind of emptiness that takes up the space of a
whole world that you never even know exists, until it is gone.