can-I-have-it

anonymous asked:

Sherlock asking Irene for tips on anal

Sherlock : So..um 

Irene : Hey virgin gay nerd !

Sherlock : Let’s cut to the chase..

Irene : OH MY GOD YOU ARE GETTING LAID TONIGHT !

Sherlock : I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING !

Irene : You dumbass, I am The Woman . I know everything.

Irene : Not actually. I asked John.

Sherlock :

Irene : So yeah. Don’t forget the lube.

Sherlock : I know.

Irene : And breathe. Don’t forget to breathe.

Sherlock : I know that as well.

Irene : It’s gonna hurt a little. Unless he is teeny weeny.

Sherlock : John is not tiny .

Irene : Is it ? how big? ^^

Sherlock : WE are not talking about John’ penis.

Irene : Don’t call it penis in bed you dickhead. Say cock, dick, manhood, joystick, magic wand.

Sherlock : Thank you for you help. And by help I mean utter uselessness.

Irene: Don’t forget to scream a lot ! People like that stuff.

Sherlock : This conversation ends here.

Irene : Best wishes on getting your ass pounded you giraffe.

Sherlock : Let’s never talk again.