can't wait for you to move up!

anonymous asked:

My stalker (literally documented with restraining order) just got a job at my store. I was told if I had a problem with it I would need to transfer because I can't impede his right to have a job! I don't know what to do because I liked my job up until this point but....?!?!?!?

If you were their first and you have a restraint order they have to either move him or they will be in legal trouble. That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.

-Rodney

anonymous asked:

How much I want Alec to wake up in the middle of the night and sleepily pad his way across the loft to get a snack, only to pick up a jar of spider legs and freak the fuck out. Magnus comes swooping in ready for battle, but realizes what's happened and just moves a couple jars over, hands a still stunned Alec a box of crackers, then goes back to sleep.

oaijwef i don’t know if show alec also has arachnophobia tbh, but sleepy alec searching through bottles in the pantry at night would be adorable. and when he grows familiar enough with the apartment that he can pick something out with ease without even really looking? kill me

also jace moving in, and just really trying hard not to accidentally pick up this stuff and magnus and alec being little shits and they’re like – jace?? what are you having??? and it’s really just regular tea or something but they just pretend like he’s ingested some terrible warlock ingredient. alec gives it up first when he can’t help but snicker.

anyway, magnus and alec being that couple who teases people together and snicker with each other about how hilarious they are is something i sincerely need.

ladytharen  asked:

♦: Slow dancing, jyn/cassian (I can't wait to see how you swing this)

He’s scouting the place, peering through the low light at a pair huddled suspiciously beneath one of the room’s many arches, when Jyn appears in front of him. He’s about to reprimand her—they’re pretending not to know each other; that’s a key part of the strategy here—but then she moves to press herself fully against him, reaching up to slip her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck.

Cassian nearly blacks out.

“Jyn?” he manages, sliding his arms around her more on instinct than anything else. “What are you—”

“I see him,” Jyn whispers. She clasps his shoulder, drawing him closer, and Cassian has to think for a moment before he can remember who she’s even talking about.

“The smuggler?” he asks. They’ve been trying to track this guy down for weeks, hoping he’ll cave and offer them a discount on stolen Imperial machine parts.

“Over by the door,” she says, nodding against his shoulder. Then she moves her hips in a way Cassian is utterly unprepared for, and he just barely manages to hold back a whimper.

“What are you doing?” he asks, fist clenching against her shoulder blades in spite of himself.

“Dancing,” she says, like this should be obvious. “You know: blending in. Like you’ve been lecturing me about.”

“I sort of assumed you weren’t listening,” Cassian says, tilting his head to the side to rest it against hers. (Might as well sell it. She’s right. Blending in.)

“I listened the first time,” she grumbles. “Not the fifth time. You repeat yourself a lot.”

He chuckles, tightening his arms around her just a little. “Repetition is important.”

“Also boring,” she adds.

“You sound like K.”

He feels rather than sees her scowl. “Never say that to me again.”

He’s about to say something else, but then she turns her head so that her lips press against the base of his neck and all words escape him. He’s lucky to still be standing.

“Uh—”

“He’s moving,” she says, and he shivers at the way her lips move against his skin in the process.

“Right. Got a plan?”

“I’m going to follow him.”

He sighs. “Got a better plan?”

“Move your hand down.”

He really was not expecting that.

“What?” he nearly chokes.

“Just do it.”

When he does, inching his hand slowly down the soft curve of her lower back, his hand touches something hard: a blaster, tucked into her pants and hidden beneath her shirt.

He groans. “I told you not to do this. What happened to listening?”

Her smile stretches wide across his skin.

“I listened to you,” she whispers. “I just chose to ignore you.”

He laughs, presses his lips to her temple; he might as well, since he has the excuse.

“Sounds about right.”

with love, from anonymous (chapter 1) - written with @westiris

Summary:  Isak just wants to get his coffee in peace, Even has a crush, and there’s a secret admirer on the loose. (Huge thank-you to @stardefiant and @koninginnen for reading over this and making my writing coherent!)

Pairing: Isak/Even

Chapters: 1/14

Words: 3,657

MANDAG 15.10

At this point, Isak’s pretty sure that his locker has become sentient enough to figure out how to fuck with him at the worst times. All he has the energy for is to grab his Bio textbook in time to catch the tram. He already has plans to veg out in front of his laptop with a bag of sour cream and onion chips, goddammit, he doesn’t care how much Eskild complains about his breath stinking up the whole place. He deserves it after the shitty day he’s had, because there’s no way a test on motion could’ve been that hard. Isak sometimes moves from his bed. He knows how it works.

[Ao3]

  • Sun: *As Blake and Yang laid under a tree cuddling with Sun laying on a branch above them, Blake reading a book While Yang and Sun played a game on their scrolls, Sun's scroll beeps signalling him that he has gotten mail.* Ah damn it. Hey Yang, Can way pause the match for a second? This could be the email from my Aunt I've been waiting for.
  • Yang: Can't it wait just a few more minutes? We all most grow this overgrown trex alien.
  • Sun: Nah, I got to make sure my Aunt sent my the new address to her house for when I go visit her this weekend.
  • Blake: Why don't you just move your character to a hiding place and set up a turret while Yang finished it off? *Both Yang and Sun glances at Blake with surprise.* ... I watch playthroughs.
  • Yang: Aw my kitty likes watching us play.~ *Yang smiled, kissing the top of Blake's head.*
  • Sun: *Meanwhile Sun does as Blake suggested and begins to look at his email.* Alright Turret's up. Just save me some good rare items okay Yang.
  • Yang: No Promises.
  • Sun: *Sun rolled his eyes and began to read his mail, noticed he received two.* Huh? What's this second one?
  • Yang: YES! GOT YOU UP OVER GROW LIZARD! *Yang cheered a minute later after beating the boss in the game.*
  • Blake: Yay team Yangsun. *Blake smiled closing her Blake as she felt Yang hug her.*
  • Yang: I did it all for you babe. *Yang whispered smirked kissing Blake's and giggling as Blake blushed before looked up at Sun.* Hey Sun you better your character butt if you want any of this loot. Huh? *It was then Yang saw Sun Trying his hardest not to laugh as he stared at his scroll.* Uh... Sun?
  • Blake: *Hearing the question tone of her girlfriend's voice Blake looked up as well at Sun and raised an eyebrow.* What is it Sun? You're kinda weirding us out.
  • Sun: Hehehehehehehe, Oh god this is too fucking funny. *Sun chuckle before full on laugh as he passes her scroll down to the bumblebee couple with his tail.* Hahahahahaha! Yang, Hahaha, Blake, hehehehe you-you got to Hahahahaha! You got to read this!
  • Blake: *Confused Yang took the scroll and held it so she and Blake could read the mail Sun got and instantly both girl's jaws drop.* Oh you have got to be kidding me. *Was All Blake could say as she picked the bright of her nose, Shaking her head as Yang Read the message loud.*
  • Yang: "Dear Sun Wukong. You are cordially invited to join the league/guild/band/ of Blake Belladonna's evil exs. Our groups goal is to insure that anyone who tries to date the woman we have all fell in love with is driven away, killed, and/or stays far far away from Blake. Benefits of joining, include, free dental and health care per fight with Blake's current lover, a Blake pillow, a custom jacket, a grimm mask, and free life time supply of cat themed cookies. Please send a reply with your answer or come to one of the meetings held every Tuesday and Thursday at 8pm. Sincerely, Adam Taurus. Ps Ilia apologizes for shooting you. But not really." * Yang Finish with an expression that could only be expressed with,* What. The actually. Fuck?
  • Sun: Hahahahaha! What do you think Yang Blake? Should I join? Hehehehe, They have free cookies.
  • Blake: Sun, This isn't funny! *Blake Glared as Yang chuckled shaking her head.*
  • Yang: Hehe, It's a little funny. Though I had no idea Adam was a Scott Pilgrim vs the world fan. OH MY GOD! Does Adam wear glasses!? Is his real name Gideon Graves? Tell me he happen the same hair cut as gideon when you dated?
  • Sun: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gideon Taurus! Master of Blake's evil exs HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Sun Laughed before falling out of the tree while Yang joined in.*
  • Blake: Siiiiiigh, Yang You are lucky I love you and Sun you are lucky you're my best friend.
  • Yang: Aw Cheer up Ramona Belladonna. I'll fight all your exs to date you. *Yang teased, giving Blake a peck on the cat ear.*

I will always wait for the day we find each other again.

I’m chasing a ghost
A feeling that’s haunted me for years 
Every time I get close it’s gone

Am I living a lie?
Well, maybe I just expect too much
Maybe it’s time I try for more 

 I will tear my sky
To make it through the night
I will take back my pride
And live while I breathe, live while I breathe 

I will move the ground 
I will pull the curtains down 
Wear my fist on my sleeve
And live while I breathe, live while I breathe 

(x)

anonymous asked:

Can we get a scenario with Dark!Giotto being protective over his SO? Like make it as dark as you want, I can't wait to see what ya'll come up with. 😈 Happy Halloween btw~!

// Not sure when you’ll see this anon, but Happy Halloween!!! Hope you had a safe, happy, and fun one! //

~Admin Reborn~


The sound of someone coughing echoed down the hallway. You wondered who it was, yet the throbbing in your head couldn’t let you think straight. Who is it?

Another cough sounded out. With a start you realized it was you who was coughing. Snippets of the events that occurred just moments before replayed in your mind.

The Vongola gardener… touching you… moving his hands up and down your legs… up you sides… your chest… suddenly…

Just like that he had clasped his hand around your neck. Because you had kept turning your head in order to avoid his sloppy kiss. In a fit of anger he had almost killed you, but the sound of voices had saved you. Letting you go, he had fled, and you had scurried into the safety of the hallway.

Now however, you longed for fresh air. Stepping out into the darkness, the cool breeze felt good against your bruised skin. Taking a deep breath, you tried your best to slow down your fast, beating heart. You would have to tell Giotto about this. No doubt he would get angry at him, but unlike the other mafia leaders, he would not hurt the gardener. Yes, no doubt he would be kicked out of the luxurious mansion, but he had always been a kind and gentle man up until now, and Giotto would probably keep that in mind. “He has to,” you whispered. Giotto wasn’t a wild beats like all the other leaders.

A shrill scream broke into your thoughts. Fearfully, you whirled around, trying to locate the source. Another one followed soon after. You glanced to your right. Just like you suspected, it had come from the wine cellar. It had recently been built and even though you had wanted to check it out, Giotto had gently assured you that it was still pretty dirty and he didn’t want you to get sick. That had been enough to keep you out, but now, your curious mind got the best of you.

The lock on the cellar doors had been removed, and you could see a faint light reflecting off the smooth walls. Quietly you made your way down the wooden stairs. This time a groan followed by a popping sound echoed. A voice called out, however, this time it was something you recognized. It was G!

Peering around the corner, you saw the unmistakable form of G. In front of him was another form you recognized. The gardener. Except he was in the last way you expected him to be in.

With his hand tied up in chains, blood ran down his face, all the while he was panting and gasping for air. G held a small black device in his hand, surrounded by other subordinates. He pressed a button on said device, and some blue sparks emitted out of it. An electric shocker? The thought made chills run up and down your spine.

G cleared his throat. “Again, tell us, did you or did you not touch [Name]?”

“I did not, I swear I did not!” The gardener’s voice was still coming strong despite the clear evidence of torture.

G pursed his lip, then started to bring the device down to the man’s body. Before he could however, you quickly jumped out of your hiding place. “Stop!” you screamed. All eyes turned to you. Before anyone could speak, you cried out, “What the hell is going on?”

G sighed. “What are you doing here?”

You ignored him. “Why are you doing this G? If Giotto found out–”

That seemed to strike a nerve in Vongola’s Storm Guardian. “What does it look like? I’m teaching this sorry bastard a lesson.” He glared at the tied up gardener. “Don’t even think about defending him. We all know what he did to you.”

Tears were starting to blind your vision. “But still, he doesn’t deserve such treatment. You could kill him!” You started to back away, desperately looking for that first step of the stairs. “Giotto wouldn’t agree to this. He’s not like you–”

“I’m afraid you’re wrong, [Name].” The voice came from behind you. You didn’t even have to turn around to see who it was.

Giotto stepped in front of you. “G is only acting upon my orders. Meaning, that  I ordered for this.“ He gestured to the bloody gardener.

The tears were flowing freely down your cheeks now. “But Giotto–”

He held a hand up for silence. “I’m sorry [Name], but I’m only protecting you. And for that, I am willing to do anything.” He didn’t have to spell out what “anything” meant. You could tell by the murderous look in his once warm eyes.

Send One for my Muses Reaction
  • "I love you."
  • "I hate you."
  • "Worst date of my life."
  • "How do you feel about polyamory?"
  • "So... I stabbed him."
  • "I might have killed him."
  • "Wanna go on a date?"
  • "Alcohol is not my friend."
  • "Can I marry whiskey?"
  • "I'm a drunken one-night stand type of girl."
  • "Will you marry me?"
  • "I'd rather marry the cactus."
  • "Wanna have the sex?"
  • "I killed my pet rock."
  • "Call me Satan."
  • "Why are bar fights frowned upon?"
  • "Why study when you can drink?"
  • "I have the power of a thousand unicorns."
  • "Werewolves are hot."
  • "I may or may not have binged Teen Wolf."
  • "I have the mutant ability to watch two weeks worth of episodes in two days."
  • "Sleep is for those who haven't spiraled into a life of chaos."
  • "I'm fluent in geek."
  • "Next person to tell me a cheesy pick up line gets slapped."
  • "That sweater has more sex appeal than you."
  • "Punch me."
  • "Netflix and chill?"
  • "I'm too adorable to slap."
  • "Just hit me."
  • "I never say no to drugs."
  • "You caught me, I'm a drug dealer."
  • "I think I married the vodka."
  • "My girly-ass drink has five times the alcohol than your wheat tea."
  • "So many fuckboys."
  • "Are you a serial killer?"
  • "I've killed more people than I can count."
  • "Brainwashing is fun."
  • "All I want is a kitten and vodka."
  • "Kiss me."
  • "You have nice skin, I can't wait to try it on."
  • "Stop yelling at me."
  • "Why do you have marshmallow flavored vodka?"
  • "I'm only drunk 99.9999999999999% percent of the time."
  • "He's only slightly dead."
  • "Don't judge my music."
  • "I don't like your pants. Take them off."
  • "We might have to huddle for warmth."
  • "Turns out, our parents/family/whatever arranged for us to get married."
  • "Satanism isn't all that bad."
  • "I'm a pagan, suck it up and move on."
  • "Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it."
  • "I' trying to flirt."
  • "I'm kinda drunk."
  • "____ stole my vodka."
  • "Call me Batman."
  • "Be the Batman to my Joker?"
  • "I'm trying to tell you I want to have a homoerotic relationship with you."
  • "I will go done with this ship."
  • "Makeout session?"
  • What I want to write:
  • The kiss slowly grew more passionate, his hand wandered to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer. You took the chance to move your leg over his to straddle him, and he moved both his hands around your back, pulling you closer, never breaking the kiss once. While moving your hands up to play with his hair, you licked his lips fleetingly, asking for permission and he obliged. The feeling of his tongue shyly playing with yours, his hands roaming your body, his soft plump lips moulding perfectly onto yours and his smell in your nose - he was driving you crazy and you started to feel your underwear grow damp. Not wanting to push him too much in fear the moment would end, you decided to simply enjoy yourself while it lasted - you figured he'd probably pull away soon just like he usually did.
  • What I have to write:
  • A two-way ANOVA was carried out on the Simpson's index of concentration by treatment type and genotype. There was no statistically significant interaction between the effects of treatment and genotype on concentration [F48,3=1.1169, p=0.295876].
  • However, we found a significant effect of treatment on diversity [F48,3=12.0580, p=0.001102], whereas the genotype did not have a significant effect on the diversity index [F48,3=0.0009, p=0.976036], suggesting that treatment influences the concentration regardless of the genotype.
  • Post Hoc tests revealed that there is a significant difference between shaken and still treatments for the mutator strain [p=0.0125085] but not for any of the other interactions.

docloudscomeinpurple  asked:

Batboys at Starbucks.Damian's like: "Grayson why CAN'T I get a Frapuccino? It won't make me a 'basic white girl' I'm neither white nor a girl and also I doubt it will alter my body's pH THAT much." Dick gets caramel macchiatos and you can't convince me otherwise. Tim is like "just fuck me up" in terms of caffeine. Jason doesn't quite feel comfortable in Starbucks precisely because of the lifestyle it represents. Kids from Crime Alley generally didn't go to Starbucks.

Damian would be like, “Don’t be an idiot, Grayson, there is no way I can get a sugar high. I am completely fine. Now let’s go up the escalator.”

“That isn’t an escalator, Damian.”

“…Then why are the stairs moving?”

Tim is completely like “Double shot, no, triple shot! No, wait, four triple shots with some ground up coffee beans on top.”

“Sir, that will kill you.”

“If that’s how I go, that’s how I go.”

Dick is the one that stares at the menu forever and then, after asking a bunch of questions and his family is about to wring his neck, orders the same thing as he always does (and the barista gives him their number, and Damian flick leftover whipped cream on Dick’s shirt “on accident”).

Jason probably stays away from Starbucks as you said (but indulges in pumpkin spice, which he tries to keep a secret but Barbara finds out anyway. He wakes up to the Starbucks brew boxes on his porch). 

Thanks for sharing!! <3

  • Pyrrha's Ghost: Oh Jaune... I know that you and I are apart for now, and I can't be there to support you, but I know that you are strong. Strong enough to carry on. Please, keep moving forw-
  • Roman's Ghost: Geez, will you shut up about Jaune?
  • Pyrrha's Ghost: ...*Angry growling*
  • Roman's Ghost: If you love him so much, why don't you just marry him? Oh wait, you can't. YOU'RE DEAD! HA!
  • Pyrrha's Ghost: *clenches fist*
  • Pyrrha's Ghost: I've had enough of your nonsense, Roman. Get out. Or else.
  • Roman's Ghost: Oh come on, what are you going to do, kill me? Oh wait, you can't. I'M ALREADY DEAD! HA! Man, being dead is fucking amazing!
Winter Reassurances for the Signs
  • Aries: It's okay to take a break from being strong all the time. It's okay to sit and let the frost cover you while you rest. You are not a failure.
  • Taurus: Things are changing. But it won't be permanent. It's okay to let yourself hibernate. You do not have to tend to things immediately.
  • Gemini: You are not a disappointment if you aren't able to keep everyone happy all the time. It's okay to step back and allow people to retreat into themselves. Not every silence has to be filled.
  • Cancer: You may feel like your waters are freezing over, leaving you nowhere to turn. You will thaw again. Allow yourself to be still and peaceful for a while.
  • Leo: Your spark keeps everyone warm in whatever room you enter. Remember though, you are under no obligation to remain lit. Take this time to turn your warmth inward. You deserve comfort, too.
  • Virgo: Do not panic when you don't have the energy to keep order and perfection. You can give yourself a break. Snowflakes are never orderly and perfect, but we still find them beautiful.
  • Libra: You're allowed to withdraw from taking care of others. It is not wrong of you to take a break from digging everyone else out of snow in order to focus on making sure you don't get buried.
  • Scorpio: Let go of the guilt you feel for the way things seem to have toppled down on you like an avalanche. It is not your fault. There will be people there to help pull you out of this.
  • Sagittarius: Don't feel pressured to run from person to person, trying to share warmth. You do not need anyone but yourself. You can get yourself through this.
  • Capricorn: Don't feel bad if you can't see a way to fix things in your life and relationships that appear to have started to freeze and die. You will find the solution eventually. You don't always have to be on top of things. Even the best boss needs help from his employees sometimes.
  • Aquarius: Remind yourself that you don't always have to be productive. It is not bad of you if you can't constantly be enforcing positive change. Sometimes the fog keeps you from seeing the next move clearly. Stop. Wait. The fog will clear. Breathe.
  • Pisces: Stop beating yourself up over not being able to fix everything all the time. You do not owe anyone pieces of yourself.
Mass Effect 2 - a (not so) short summary
  • Shepard: this is a routine mission
  • Joker: yeah we are just chillin in the empty calm space without worries that is the life eh
  • Shepard: tru homie no danger in sight we are just like little bugs in the infinite field of the universe
  • Collector's ship: DID SOMEONE SAY BUGS *destroys the Normandy*
  • Shepard: OH DEAR MAKER WHAT'S THAT
  • Shepard: sorry wrong quote
  • Joker: let me save the ship
  • Shepard: let me save your fragile ass
  • Joker: Shepper nooooooo
  • Shepard: Shepper yooooooo *crashes into a planet like a comet and dies*
  • Joker: look at that lemme make a wish real quick
  • Joker: I wish one day I'll fuck a robot
  • ---
  • Miranda: Allusive Man we found Shep's corpse
  • Illusive Man: nice now let's spend a shitload of money to resurrect him/her
  • Miranda: cool let's make him/her our slave by modifying the brain
  • Illusive Man: damn girl what is your problem we can't manipulate someone's mind that's fucked up shit
  • Illusive Man: anyway how is the project of turning Grayson in a human reaper going?
  • ---
  • Shepard: *wakes up after a 2 years coma*
  • Miranda: Shepard we're under attack stand up and fight u inferior slut
  • Shepard: aw shit I can barely move *runs like a leopard* *fight like a demon from hell* *tears shit up*
  • Jacob: hurry up commander
  • Shepard: wait I need answers
  • Jacob: Shepard for the love of god we're in the middle of a fight mechs are shooting at us we can't talk rn
  • Shapard: so how was your day?
  • Jacob: OMG it was nice thank you, I wake up and had a toast then I did some push ups then...
  • Miranda: let's get out of here gossip girls
  • ---
  • Illusive Man: hello I'm Cerberus' boss listen to me you have to find out why humans are disappearing
  • Shepard: fuck you Intrusive Man I don't work for you
  • Illusive Man: I revived you
  • Shepard: oh fuck ok then
  • ---
  • Tali: holy fleet Shap is that u
  • Shepard: ye it is me Tali I missed you so much
  • Tali: cool bye
  • Shepard: no wait Tali join my squad
  • Tali: nah better later I got stuff to do now
  • ---
  • Mordin: *fast shit-talking*
  • Shepard: haha I like you I'll make sure nothing bad will ever happen to you trust me
  • ---
  • Kasumi: god I miss Keiji so much I will never love again
  • Jacob: hey
  • Kasumi: yooooooooooo
  • ---
  • Shepard: Zaeed you squinter swine you set fire to a refinery just to find your boyfriend we are all going to die
  • Zaeed: that fucker shoot me in the head
  • Shepard: aaw isn't this love
  • ---
  • Grunt: Shepurd I feel strange I just want to kill everybody and destroy everything
  • Shepard: oh Grunt baby it's perfectly normal you're just becoming a woman
  • Wrex: Shep he is a krogan. Male. It's like our puberty
  • Grunt: do you mean I don't need this XXXXL tampon?
  • ---
  • Thane: my son is in trouble and my wife is dead
  • Shepard: k
  • Thane: "The fire has gone to be kindled anew.” He begs them not to take her away. They let her body slide into the water. He hits me. “Don’t let them! Stop them! Why weren’t you–” It rains. It always rains on Kahje. Warm water pours down his face.
  • Shepard: Cole is that you
  • Thane: what
  • Shepard: what
  • ---
  • Jack: fuck you and fuck everything and fuck Cerberus in particular
  • Shepard: girl put a shirt on it's raining cats and dogs
  • Jack: fuck shirts fuck cats and dogs and fuck me
  • Shepard: kinky
  • ---
  • Samara: help me kill my daughter
  • Shepard: shit why everyone in my squad are psycopath or have tragic stories and why do I have to solve everyone's problem?
  • Samara: so you won't help me?
  • Shepard: sure I'll help you let's do it girl
  • ---
  • Garrus: guess who's fucking back and ready to be romanced
  • Shepard: fuck yes I'm gonna date the shit out of you
  • Garrus: ...
  • Shepard: so-
  • Garrus: shut up I'm calibrating
  • ---
  • Shepard: why do you have a piece of my armor you creepy weirdo
  • Legion: there was a hole
  • Shepard: are you telling me you just have to close every hole you see?
  • Legion: yes
  • Shepard: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • ---
  • Shepard: all right let's go kill all collectors as requested from the Incisive Man
  • Harbinger: we are the beginning, you are the end
  • Shepard: yeah I'm YOUR end
  • Party members: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH SNAP!
  • Harbinger: this hurts me
  • Shepard: fuck my second life what is that big ass blue motherfucker
  • EDI: it's a human reaper
  • Shepard: woah tough shit better destroy this ship and everything in it
  • Illusive Man: wait Shepard don't do it we need this technology
  • Shepard: shut up Disquisitive Man I do what I want and I want to tear this abomination up
  • Illusive Man: damn no I should have enslaved your mind when I had the chance
  • Miranda: called it
  • Shepard: well too fucking bad Dispositive Man let's do this homies
  • ---
  • Shepard: and that's how I saved the day once again
  • Hackett: Shepard you gangsta you forgot to say you killed 300.000 batarian in the process
  • Shepard: I do it for a good cause
  • Hackett: what cause
  • Shepard: peace
  • Hackett: *cries* this is beautiful
  • Shepard: I know buddy
  • Hackett: you're under arrest
Sci-Fi Starters
  • "The engines are offline and I have no idea when we can get them running again."
  • "There's something obscuring the sensors. I can't tell what's down there."
  • "I think something is on board..."
  • "You can try to track this transmission, but don't bother. You won't be able to trace the signal."
  • "All we need to do is lay low for a while. Slip into a busy spaceport and no one will notice."
  • "I don't know what you think this ship is capable of, but it can't perform miracles."
  • "It was big and green; that's all I remember."
  • "I want the shields up and weapons online."
  • "We just wait here for a search party. We have enough rations for a week and there's just enough power to keep the temperature control systems functioning."
  • "I don't care what's out there. Grab a phaser and do your damn job."
  • "We're dead in space and if we don't get this boat moving, we are REALLY doing to be dead."
  • "I hope there's enough containment suits for all of us."
  • HULL INTEGRITY AT THIRTY-FIVE PERCENT. STRUCTURAL COLLAPSE EMINENT. ABANDON SHIP. REPEAT. ABANDON SHIP.
  • "The ambassador hates the accommodations."
  • "There's no damage to the exterior. No immediate reason why the power is shut off... This ship is just floating, abandoned."
  • "It's been quiet out here among the stars. Almost makes you miss running for your life."
  • "Hold on! Let me scan it before you touch the damn thing."
  • "Just because it's furry and cute, doesn't mean it isn't dangerous."
  • "When we make planetfall I just want to go into the nearest bar and get a good drink."
Founders taking responsibility while building Hogwarts:
  • *Intense meeting session*
  • Godric Gryffindor: I will take care of the construction of the castle *shoves food in mouth*
  • Rowena Ravenclaw: * peeps from the book* dibs on the library!
  • Salazar Slytherin: *rolls eyes * I will take care of the interior. * pets the baby basilisk*
  • Helga Hufflepuff: * puffs weed* I want to do the School Anthem !!!
  • Several Months Later...
  • Godric Gryffindor: I have to say, Salazar, you did an amazing job with the moving stairs ! Can't wait to see the students losing their shit !!
  • Salazar Slytherin: *dismissively* The castle stands, I guess you did the job.
  • Though I have to say Rowena got some amazing books on Dark Arts ,I can't wait to read !!
  • Rowena Ravenclaw: What about you Helga, did you come up with the school anthem ?
  • Helga Hufflepuff: * puffs weed* Yes, yes I did . * clear throat* * starts singing*
  • Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,
  • Teach us something please,
  • Whether we be old and bald,
  • Or young with scabby knees,
  • Our heads could do with filling,
  • With some interesting stuff,
  • For now they're bare and full of air,
  • Dead flies and bits of fluff,
  • So teach us things worth knowing,
  • Bring back what we've forgot,
  • Just do your best, we'll do the rest,
  • And learn until our brains all rot.
  • Rowena Ravenclaw: ...
  • Godric Gryffindor: ...
  • Salazar Slytherin: * face palms*