I need to talk to u...I don't want to go back down....
Badly….I have to tell u what happened,its eating me alive…..
I’m panicking……but ur in vacation and probably curled up in bed with kennith happily having sex/making out/him making u/doing dirty stuff/pj’s cuddling/taking pictures and being happy…..
So I can’t tell u what Joe did to me…..or that I wanted to say earlier that….he was dirty texting me after he told my mom"ya I was drunk and I text my texts to u babe so that I know if I was arguing with u or not"than looked at me with"don’t u fucking dare tell her what I texted u"look…..
I feel like I’m….11 again…keeping this secret from everyone….thinking everyday how to die….planning..dreaming….
Or that I’ve only been doing my class work for the next couple months to avoid telling u my secrets…..to avoid it overall…..taking showers in the dark so I can’t see the bruises from the guy I slept with…..the marks he left from rough sex…I told him it hurt….or that I felt dirty after him and joe slept with me……
That I walked to the creek and got too close,close enough to slip into the water…..