can't sell this one

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giorno “glamour” giovanna 

The 2ps Read Killing Stalking

2p America: Why does the killer dude have nice clothes and shit? I would rob him if he wouldn’t fucking kill me. And the kid needs to man the fuck up and beat the motherfucker! I wouldn’t let this asshole kick my- Oh shit, he’s sucking his dick!! See, this is why gets treated disrespectfully. The dude is literally is sucking his dick!

2p Canada: Crazy motherfuckers.. I want to feel bad for the scrawny one but he does deserve it.. I guess not to this level. I mean, look at him. He can barely keep himself at a healthy weight! This is some shit America would do. The fucker has a baseball bat and that stupid look on his face, like he knows he’s trouble but pretends to be a good.. *hates Sang Woo a bit for that*

2p England: That poor child! Someone save him! *gets more shocked as he continues reading* *starts crying* I just want him to be free! No honey, don’t crawl! You can do it!

2p China: Yeah, he’s fucked. No way in hell he’s getting out of there alive or without being dragged back inside. *continues reading* Ok, I’ve heard of kissing ass but..sucking dick is new!

2p Russia: *hates it* Why is there so much blood and violence?

2p France: What the fuck is?! Oh shit- *continues reading for boobs* This guy is so bipolar. First he wants to kill the guy then wants him to suck him off then kill him then never wants him to leave him. For fuck’s sake, make up your fucking mind..

2p Italy: Torture him more! That’s what he gets for breaking into people’s houses! (He starts feeling a little bad as he continues reading) This dude is so hopeless.. Also, how did the cop fuck up that badly??

2p Germany: R.I.P the country whore! (He loves that name for him)

2p Japan: (He secretly takes this as a competition and plans to make a better manga than this one) Is this a doujin of Shingeki No Kyojin? Fucking Korea..

2p Romano: Aw, they’d make a cute couple, if he wasn’t, you know.. He’s hot and crazy but that’s ok as long as he doesn’t hurt the child too badly *reads the part with Ji Eun* Bitch, you better lose the attitude before you end up like him! *continues reading* DID THIS MAN FUCK THIS BITCH IN FRONT OF HIM??? BITCH, I’M SHOOK!!!! (He laughs at the part where she gets a wrench thrown at her) Talk shit, get hit!

2p Prussia: *relates to Yoon Bum on an emotional level* I really hopes he gets out of there.. Or at least fix Sang Woo. I really like the art style and story of this, though it’s a bit nerve-wracking

2p Austria: This is hella sadistic, I love it!! The torture in here is perfect! I’ll have to take notes and use it someday!

  • sasha: armiiiin help me write my essaaaayyysss
  • armin: ...weren't your essays due like two weeks ago?
  • sasha: well, yes, but the teacher's really lenient about deadlines. pleaaaase you only have to do two of them; i'll buy you ice cream!
  • armin: *sighs and snatches essay prompts away from sasha* i can't believe you sometimes.

anonymous asked:

What are your favorite nesta archeron fics?

THIS MULTICHAPTER MASTERPIECE BY @pterodactylichexameter There’s a lot of nessian in it but it’s all Nesta’s POV and deals with her character, arc, and relationship development so, so beautifully. If ACOWAR is anything like this I will die a thousand deaths and count myself blessed for every one of them. Like seriously, if you love Nesta/Nessian in any way shape or form and you haven’t read this you’re doing it wrong

AND ALSO THIS WHICH I’VE NEVER EVER RECOVERED FROM AND NEVER WILL BY @valamerys in which Nesta is Made as an Illyrian and grows her wings. and it’s like….legit dude I read this thing literal months ago and I still remember chunks from it to this day because it’s just…..stunningly written and beautifully in character, and perfectly Nesta and SOMETHING YOU SHOULD ALL GO READ RIGHT NOW. okay I’m done. 

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A Rey! I have a feeling she wears really bright colored clothing cause she likes to look cute af. I don’t know what apparel would portray that though. I’m pretty proud of this one!

anonymous asked:

Please post the thing. I'm begging you. Blame me, but please post the thing.

Let it be known that I’m posting this only because @uncensoredsideblog​ thought the general public might enjoy it too, and she’s terribly persistent.

(This happened some days ago over whatsapp, hence the lack of proper ficlet format or decent English or anything)


Imagine Elaine asking over dinner if he’s enjoying his stay, and T’Challa smiling and saying that he sadly hasn’t had much time to go sightseeing or anything, and wondering whether TJ can maybe show him around.

TJ looking bewildered because does he not know who he is? Is he not aware of what people are going to say? But Elaine–and everyone else as well, really–is agreeing and saying that that’s a wonderful idea before TJ can even manage to remember words.

And later, when T’Challa is about to leave, TJ excuses himself and goes after him, politely declines, and then hastily has to explain why when T’Challa’s face falls slightly, has to tell him that it’s not because he doesn’t enjoy T'Challa’s company, but that ‘you really don’t want to be seen with me…’

And then he thinks he’s feeling a bit dizzy, because oh god, T’Challa’s face did fall a bit, thinking TJ didn’t want to spend time with him, and no, come on, that has got to just be him being nice, right? It can’t possibly mean T’Challa is remotely interested in someone like him. It can’t.

But T’Challa’s smile is gentle and understanding, and his eyes are warm as he says that he doesn’t care about what people might say or think, that he thinks he’s a fascinating person and he very much enjoys being around TJ.

And he sounds so honest and it’s so new and unexpected that TJ has to take a step back, trips over nothing because his brain has short-circuited, but then there are strong, gentle hands on his shoulder and waist, steadying him, and dark eyes staring right into his, smiling at him as T’Challa tells him that he’s really looking forward to their date.

TJ has to bury his face into the pillow to stiffle the half-disbelieving, delighted giggles that night.

[x]

anonymous asked:

a book where a guy fucks a peach????????????

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME BY ANDRE ACIMAN!

- ‘An effortless and unaffected erudition; a brutal, rigorous mastery of language… This is an elegy, a celebration, a meditation on the truth of passion that is nuanced and universal.’ – Francesca Segal, Observer

- ‘Brave, acute, elated, naked, brutal, tender, humane and beautiful… Open the cover and let Aciman pull the pin from the grenade.’ – Nicole Krauss, author of The History of Love

- ‘An exceptionally beautiful book… A first novel that abounds in moments of emotional abandon… As much a story of paradise found as it is of paradise lost… Exquisite… Extraordinary.’ – Stacey D'Erasmo, New York Times

- ‘Few novels since Proust’s In Search of Lost Time are this adept at capturing the nuances of human emotion.’ – Diana Fuss, New York Magazine

- ‘Superb… The beauty of Aciman’s writing and the purity of his passions should place this extraordinary first novel within the canon of great romantic love stories for everyone.’ – Charles Kaiser, The Washington Post

I ALWAYS SELL THIS NOVEL TO PEOPLE ON THE PEACH SCENE BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND: THIS IS A NEW YORK TIMES NOTABLE BOOK OF THE YEAR, A PUBLISHER’S WEEKLY BEST BOTY, A WASHINGTON POST BEST FICTION BOTY AND A CHICAGO TRIBUNE FAVOURITE BOTY – IN WHICH SOMEONE JUST HAPPENS TO MASTURBATE WITH A PIECE OF FRUIT. IT’S NOT JUST ANY OLD BOOK WHERE A DUDE FUCKS A PEACH AND THEN ANOTHER DUDE EATS IT, OKAY? IT’S A WORK OF ART. ALL OF THE ABOVE BOOK REVIEWER TYPE PEOPLE READ THE PEACH-FUCKING SCENE, READ THE NOSEBLEED FOOTSY SCENE, READ THE “LET’S BE WAY TOO COMFORTABLE IN THE BATHROOM TOGETHER” SCENE AND STILL SAID WORDS LIKE “SUPERB” AND “NUANCED” AND “EXQUISITE.”

tl;dr yes he fucks a peach

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Can Funko stop making highly popular character’s like Bodhi convention exclusives? That’s a really shitty move to pull on your customers and fans by taking a Pop they really want and have been asking for for months and making it so the majority of them can’t access it.

I get incentives for cons but pulling this crap is so awful cause so many people can’t afford to go to these things. SDCC alone is over $200 for all days and that doesn’t include flight/travel and hotel expenses (which are going to be higher around con time anyway).

Stop screwing us over Funko. And Bodhi better be highly available after SDCC.

I don’t know why I like to torture myself because I’m replaying the crying Alvi gifs and everyone consoling him: Nacho kissing him on the forehead, James giving him a tight squeeze, Marco hugging and kissing him, Kiko hugging him, Dani rubbing his back and kissing him on the shoulder and then they all group hug him…

It’s so emotional and I just don’t want anyone to separate, I love my boys, they’re all a family and I can’t imagine how will it be if James or Alvi start afresh, make new friends…. Because it’ll never be the same… NEVER.

I met Emma Blackery and called her tall oh my god

Helpless Part 1: In The Eye Of A Reckoning - A Nessian Fic

Follows on from Hurricane but you definitely don’t need to have read that one in order to read this. Thank you, thank you to my darling @widowshulk for betaing and my dear @illyrian-baby for cheerleading me allll the way through this.

I’ve been working on this piece for a long time now (it was actually prompted but I think that poor person has since died of boredom waiting for me) so I’m a bit nervous about it all things considered. 

Title: Helpless Part 1: In The Eye Of A Reckoning

Summary: Set post ACOMAF. Cassian and Nesta first time scenario. The two work out the secrets that have been poisoning their souls for some time now and surrender themselves entirely to one another. 

TeaserHe’s…Different. Unlike anyone else she’s ever met. Hard and soft all at once; a gentle warrior; a compassionate killer; a kind battle commander; a good man.

And somehow; some faint but insistent feeling deep in her gut whispers that he’s hers. Her counter and balance. Her match, able to handle her without ever conquering her. Her equal – one who can and will always give as good as he gets. Her destruction or her salvation, the one who has the potential to be either or somehow both at once. When most of the men around her had struggled her entire life to be anything to her at all… This man; Cassian; was everything. And she had no idea how to respond to that.

Link: AO3 

Rage. Anger. Fury.

There’s a fire that burns inside her. Burns and burns and burns. In that miserable, frozen hovel they had struggled to carve out an existence in it had been her salvation. Feyre had had her stubborn defiance and the oath she had made their mother. Elain had had her gentle, unassuming hope which had been the greatest strength and light any of them had shown in that darkness.

But she had only had that bitter anger to fuel her and keep her going. Now the thing that had given her life all those years is killing her. It’s ceased fuelling her and has instead begun feeding on her. It’s devouring her a little more and a little more every day, destroying her from the inside.

Pain and guilt and grief join the torrent of anger and her soul becomes a hurricane beneath her paper thin skin. Terror flares as it rages inside her and she realises she can’t control it. Magic begins to well inside her, the sting of it now sickeningly familiar. Everything amplifies, getting bigger and stronger and louder until it numbs and deafens and blinds her to everything that isn’t her and this twisted power.

She fights it. She clenches her fists and clamps down upon it. She tries to force it to submit to her. She tries to wrestle it into submission. She tries to force it to yield to her.

 She fights. It wins.

The scream – of agony, of anguish – bursts from her as the pulse of magic erupts. Nesta crumples to her knees as her room explodes around her. It wrecks her in the process. She is left more shattered than the smashed windows and splintered furniture. The destroyer of the destroyed. The powerful powerless. The unbreakable broken. The Made unmade. The invincible immortal ruined by her own hands.

****

Cassian yawns expansively, giving his wings a habitual shake to try and rouse him. The still tattered edges sting at the sudden, jolting motion and he grits his teeth, biting back the hiss of pain. They were better than they had been. In that regard he hadn’t lied to his brothers but…Rhys and Azriel knew anyway. They knew that he pretended to be better than he was. They knew some small part of him still feared, even after all these centuries, not being important, not being useful, not being needed.

So he insisted he was all right, ready to return to his duties, to prepare them for war. And his brothers accepted this, even when they knew he lied. Azriel’s eyes he felt on him in particular. Watching, his brother was always watching, watching everything. But when his hazel eyes watched him they were riddled with pain and guilt.

At night he’s felt his brother’s quiet, anguished presence there with him. When he wakes sweating and screaming, his wings ripped from his back again, he feels Azriel’s guilt there too. That only made him more determined to keep going, to be fine though he was far from it.

Weeks ago he had told Nesta he would have given up those wings a hundred times over to save his brother’s life. That hadn’t changed. It never would. Nesta had believed him; had understood that sacrifice. Azriel never would.

His brother burned with guilt for his loss – a loss he knew Az understood; pain he knew Az saw. They knew each other too well for him to truly hide anything. But for now Az knew he needed them to pretend they believed him, pretend everything was all right and so he did.

Cassian sighs heavily, rolling his shoulders to work the tension from them. That unbearable, near continual restlessness that has plagued him since Hybern builds in him once again. Ordinarily he would have flown to chase away these feelings. He would have launched himself into the sky until the cool night air swept away every issue and concern. What he wouldn’t give to lose himself once more in the wind’s tender, comforting embrace.

But…but there was no point pining after what he couldn’t have. They all had too much to concern themselves with now war was brewing to worry about what they didn’t have. The healers told him to have hope; that he may fly again. In a way that vague promise was worse than none at all.

 He wanted to know what he was dealing with. He wanted to be able to see the field before him. He could work with the soldiers he had, train them, shape them, inspire them, command them. He could deal with resources he knew he didn’t have; find ways to work himself around their lack. Things he might have frustrated him. Those he could do nothing with. They weren’t real and so couldn’t be used. But they might be and so they could not be dismissed either.

Growling darkly to himself Cassian drags a hand through his shaggy hair. Then he squares his shoulders and forces himself to continue on down the corridor. Marshalling himself he tries to go back over the points discussed at the meeting he had just left, seeking to distract himself. He has little success. 

A scream catches his attention instead, obliterating everything else around him. Chaos erupts following the shriek; as though a hurricane is tearing through part of the house. Causing his Siphons to burn like flames Cassian draws on his power. He lets it thunder through his blood, flooding his system, reading him for the fight. Then he sprints towards the source of destruction while servants hurry away. They part to let him pass, knowing better than to stand between him and whatever dares to try and harm those he loves.

As he draws nearer he realises that the source of the disturbance is Nesta’s room. His power flares more sharply in him, longing to devour any who would hurt her, his High Lord’s ward, his High Lady’s sister, his…

The snarl of fury rips from him as he bursts through her door. The action sends it flying off its already damaged hinges. As he balances himself he reaches for the sword at his back, taking up a position to both attack and defend.

He had promised to protect her. He failed her in Hybern. He had sworn a second, silent oath to himself never to do so again.

Scanning the room for any threats he keeps his practiced eyes sharp, even through his blind fury that any would dare threaten them here. However Cassian realises within a few heartbeats that they’re completely  alone in her room.

Understanding floods him the moment he finds her hunched on the floor in front of him. She's cowering – cowering – head hung, body slumped in the midst of the wreckage that surrounds him. Both the eye of the hurricane and its most devastated victim.

Despite her newly enhanced Fae form and all its accompanying strengths she seems so small huddled before him. In the mortal world, as a human, she had stood before him with the confidence, bearing and command of a queen. Now, as a Fae….That Cauldron hadn’t Made her; exactly the opposite.

Releasing his power and allowing the build up to dissipate, leaving only the usual faint rumbling behind, he steps into the room. He goes to her, steps deliberately heavy so he doesn’t startle her by approaching her from behind. Once he’s close enough to her small, hunched form he reaches out and places a gentle hand on her shoulder, trying to offer her some comfort and solace.

It’s thrown off with a violent strength a heart beat later. “Don’t touch me!” she spits viciously at him.

Her whole body trembles uncontrollably like a wild animal that’s been wounded and corned. Somehow he can sense the terror and pain rippling from her in waves, like the aftershocks of a boulder hurled into a pool far too small to contain it.

Cassian takes a step back, his hands raised in a gesture of surrender even though she’s shrunk in on herself again, back to him, and can’t see. Resigned, he decides to leave her in peace. Giving her a chance calm down should help. He'll return and see if she’ll let him help her once she’s had a chance to compose herself and doesn’t feel as ragged and raw and vulnerable.

Then he notices the trickle of blood that weeps from her shoulder in soft crimson tears. He freezes mid-step then changes his mind. Padding into the adjoining washroom he gathers together water, bandages and a bottle of ointment to tend to the gash. It needs to be bound up until her depleted strength returns enough for her to heal it herself.

Returning to the bedroom he crouches down in front of her. She refuses to acknowledge his presence but he sets down the things he’d collected from the bathing room anyway. 

“You’re bleeding,” he tells her in a low growl, gesturing to her torn shoulder.

His warm hazel eyes seek out the cold, battered blue-grey steel of hers. She avoids him still, sparing a cursory glance to her shoulder instead. Shrugging, she hunches further away from him, dismissive. “It’s fine,” she mutters back to him, a flicker of characteristic snap edging her words but no more.

“It’s not,” he says words blunt but still gentle. They soften further when he adds, “Let me take a look.”

Her eyes meet his this time. Drawn to him by the same irresistible instinct that kept him here even after she’d snarled at him to leave, wanting to make sure she was all right. Whatever she sees in his gaze, in him, seems to thaw the armour of ice that always entombs her. After a long moment she jerks her head at him, permitting him to approach and tend to her.

With careful, if callused fingers, Cassian eases the strap of her dress down her arm, baring the wound to him. Leaning in close he can feel her ragged breaths hot on his cheek for a moment. Then she turns her head away from him, staring out of the now empty window to avoid him. He probes cautiously at the long, deep rents in her skin, trying to assess the extent of the damage.

Nesta jolts round to face him with a sharp hiss when his thumb grazes over one of the raw edges accidentally. He flicks his eyes up to check on her but she’s already looked away again, as though afraid of looking at him. Or else of being truly seen by him.

“Sorry,” he growls quietly to her. 

That makes her turn to face him again. For the brief moment that their eyes meet Cassian feels something stir in him. Something that ties him to her. It’s there, if only for that single pounding heartbeat. And gone again the moment she tears her gaze from his.

Pulling himself together Cassian irritably brushes off the flash of feeling. Then he uses the ointment to clean the cuts, murmuring soft apologies to her when she grimaces in pain. Then he bandages them, trying to avoid touching her bare skin with his as much as possible. Every time he does so a spark seems to jump between like, like lightning flaring from her to him. He knows that she can feel it too, though she tries to pretend otherwise. Neither of them mentions it.

As he works Cassian fixes his gaze on her, trying to assess her condition. His hands remain gentle but a trace of steel lines his next words. “You need to learn how to control this,” he tells her flatly, keeping eye contact with her the whole time. 

He feels her body stiffen beneath his touch in response to those words. Softening slightly he caresses her arm with his hand he slides it slowly down until it meets hers. Then he takes it between his fingers and squeezes gently, trying to take some of the sting out of the admonishment. “You’re going to hurt someone,” he murmurs, trying to make his intentions clearer. “You’re going to hurt yourself. And it could be much more than a scratch next time.”

*****

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