can't let go

anonymous asked:

Okay so at first I thought the health sabbatical was kinda odd but then I realized that for the past four years you've written (sal + fae tales) like a million words and that's just. Please take that sabbatical. Rest. I know this is probably Really Late but. You've written A Ton of amazing stuff.

Yeah, in the past four years I’ve actually written 2.1 million words since 2013, which doesn’t include any writing I haven’t put up on AO3 not_poignant (which is 270k on another account, and a couple of short stories, and about two 100k novels). 

It cray.

It’s 2.5-ish million words of cray.

Er, yeah, so the health sabbatical for most of this year has mostly been in response to that mess. I wouldn’t trade it for the world and I’ve had a blast but I have also run my body into the ground just a little bit.

You have been gone for so long
and most days you are but a distant memory.
A tragic story to tell people
about why trust is not a part of my vocabulary.
Maybe it’s true that there’s never a day that goes by
where I do not think about you,
but when I do,
I do not dwell.
You are merely a passing thought,
a single line in my life’s song.
Most days I can convince myself I have moved on.
But sometimes there are still the days
when you become the chorus again.
You reverberate through my ears
and the pounding rhythms of my heart
tear open the hole
that used to permanently reside inside me.
I can feel it in the pit of my stomach
and I can feel it in my bones.
It was a chasm that you could never fill,
but sometimes there are still the days
where I hope that someday you will.
—  The Hole - V.P.

INFJs have a hard time letting go of people. Letting go in general is hard for us because of our laser focus (Ni) but letting go of the ones we love is especially difficult. One of the hardest lessons that INFJs struggle with is the fact that people we love come and go in this life. Friendships fade. Lovers leave. People drift apart. It’s a fact of life. The people you bared your soul to at one point in life may not even be in your life at all a few years down the line. There will be new soulmates and new friendships who fill the space but never replace what was once there. It doesn’t mean you won’t ever be happy again without them, no, that’s not the part that upsets us. The part that upsets us is that we can be happy without them. We feel guilty about not being able to share our best moments with them anymore.

But INFJs need to remember that our lost loved ones can be happy without us too. If we learn to focus on the fact that they are happy living their wonderful lives they have now as well then it reminds us that no one needs to feel guilty. It is okay to treasure the people you have while you have them AND get to enjoy life’s changes. Think of how many people you get to love! The more people you get to love the more you get to grow and develop as a human being! As long as we let relationships end with grace and catch up every once and a while, letting go doesn’t have to be a tragedy. It’s okay to be upset about losing others but letting go is a part of living. We may not be good at it, but it is possible.

Let it go,

Stay Awesome