can't fix everything

It’s mermay and I couldn't’ miss this chance XD so Ulqui and Ori in a Mermaid!AU ♥ 

YOU CAN READ MY ULQUIHIME MERMAID!AU HERE!

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10

emma swan + autumn

Quick doodle of Hiccup fixing his own clothes (because he don’t need a woman to fix those for him when he’s quite capable of doing so himself)

Ok, joke aside, I thought I had posted this one ages ago but apparently I didn’t and I’m sorry about that ^^’

Plus, ok, I know that a lot of you that follow me are not here for HTTYD art, but I was wondering if you guys wanted to know more about any AU’s I have?? I have quite a few but if there isn’t much interest its fine with me as well and i’ll keep them warm and safe in the darkest corners of my mind, hehe.

Anyways, hope you guys enjoy~

A Summary of Cal in King’s Cage:

Farley: the Blackrun is shit, and doesn’t work anymore

Cal:

Kilorn: no one has a plan, and no one is gonna help me rescue Mare.

Cal:

Colonel Farley: All of these Newbloods have no idea how to fight like soldiers.

Cal:

Cal’s: wow, today was a productive day, and we didn’t break down once crying over Mare or think about how much agony she’s probably in right now. 

Cal’s brain: 

5

This gorilla mask, it’s just like the one I saw on the tape! It’s a sign, these are all signs.

Has this been done yet?

I kept thinking about this since my revelation the other day.

(I have a bonus too :) I’ll post it with a reblog)

Very small update/part I know I’m sorry I’ve been very busy and stressed lately working on other projects so I kinda forgot how to draw the two (ಥ﹏ಥ). Please forgive me. 

Oooo but spring break is coming so I will be able to post the next part in two weeks (hopefully) it will be longer, I promise. 

Part: 1 | 2 | 3

Headcanon: @coredesignixandnekonee

By the way I named this comic, “Not Funny”. Get it? Cuz I’m not funny. (._.) 

Favorite Scenes: Anna’s Comments at the End of A Farewell to Fringe (Series Coda)

Yeah, of course it’s the way that you expected it to end …  like … happily ever after.

That’s what’s beautiful is that these people don’t live in the real world.

They live in your minds, and they live in your imagine, and the reason that you watch … shows … is so that you can hope.

And I think that, at the end of the day, that’s what Joel was trying to say—is that:

There is hope.

“Ryan,” Gavin said suddenly. “Can I paint a moustache on you, Ryan?”

“What?” Ryan asked, startled out of his staring - “No!”

“Please, Ryan. Oh my God. It’d be so funny. It’ll be under the mask all day anyway!”

“What if I take my mask off?”

“It’ll shock whoever sees it so much you’ll have time to kill ‘em. Come on Ryan. Don’t be a party pooper. You said you’d wear an animal onesie around, what’s a moustache compared to that?”

He looked so gleeful that Ryan could only roll his eyes and hand over the paintbrush. Gavin let out a delighted sort of squawk and grabbed it.

[…]

“I look like Geoff,” he said.

Gavin couldn’t even reply, too busy doubled over, cackling as though this was the most hysterical thing he’d ever seen. Seeing him laughing and looking so carefree was nice, after the last few weeks, and Ryan couldn’t help but stare at him, smiling fondly.

- from whalehuntingboyfriends’ fic Murdering Mr. Darcy

Noct tried to fix it headcanon

So part of my fanfic research involves rewatching pretty much all the cutscenes in the game. Last night I was rewatching the first train scene and I realized how absolutely gutted Noct looks and it got me thinking…

When you first go to the hotel in Altissia is when Gentiana shows up with Umbra to explain the time travel thing. Now meta-wise this is just a mechanic that let’s you go back to open world play whenever you want. But, let’s look at it as a plot device. Several weeks pass between Noct waking up in Altissia and the train scene (which is part of why Gladio is telling him to get over it) and Noct is still so messed up…what if it’s because he used Umbra? What if he tried to go back and replayed it over and over again Groundhog Day style? What if he tried to save Luna, tried to protect Ignis, tried to fix even any small part of it but he couldn’t. It’s one of those fixed moments in time where it doesn’t matter what you do, things always turn out the same. And he tried and he tried and nothing ever worked until he was forced to give up (or likely Gentiana made him stop).

What if that’s why he’s in such a funk on the train? Because he’s dealing with the fact that the people around him can die, they can get hurt, and he can’t save them.

For Other Psychics:  Self Care + Can’t Fix Everything

Although this is “For Other Psychics,” this generally goes out to everyone, applies to everyone.  

One of the most important things that Psychics (and other people) tend to forget to practice is Self-Care.  There can be multiple reasons: simply forgetting, busy schedule, taking care of others, struggling to practice self-care due to health issues, ect.   It’s okay, we’re all human, it happens– as long as we keep trying again and again, it’s alright.  However, this is one special reason that I want to specifically focus on.

Growing up, I’m pretty sure everyone has been told, “be sure to help others!”  It’s a good thing to hear, it’s a nice reminder, but I think there is a little bit of a difference that has a huge impact.  I know for me and seeing other Psychic youths on those over dramatic t.v shows, we grew up being told this:  “You have a special gift.  You should use it to help people.  That is why you’re here with this gift.”   Whatever variation, it was something I heard a lot.  Luckily I didn’t hear that much from my parents at all, but I did hear it growing up from everywhere else.  “Use it to help others.  That’s your purpose.”

I am more than willing to help others, always, but it has created a huge pressure for me.  I have this Gift, my Psychic abilities, I should use it to my full advantage to help people, right?  Yes, but there will be major pros and cons that have definitely affected me.

Everyone has their struggles that they have to face in life that they charted.  I myself have faced some so far (and some not even charted)—some of them lasted years.  To be completely honest, I have some trauma and PTSD from it.  Now, combine this with what I have as a Psychic–most people don’t quite understand how it can be a major problem.

There are people who’ve gone through terrible things in life, and when I come across them, I can “Feel” everything they’re feeling, and I can “See” all the things they’ve done and been through, and what will happen.  Sometimes there are things that remind me of my traumas, so I re-experience my emotions on top of what I’m getting from them, and it triggers a PTSD response.  Here’s another problem: my PTSD response is to “Help Fix It.”  I’m sure this goes for many Psychics, especially Empaths, that if you help them and fix whatever the problem may be, and they start feeling better, so will you.  Maybe you can save this person.  Maybe you can use your Psychic abilities to help fix everything that is wrong, right?  Help them be happy?  No, I’ve come to learn that is a horribly bad practice.

There are so many problems with this.  I’ve come to learn that it isn’t your job to fix it.  People Charted things to happen in their life, and you can’t live their Chart for them.  You can’t fix what they’re supposed to be experiencing.  They have to go through these challenges and fix it themselves.  Only they can do it, not you.  Sure, you can help them and show support—that’s fine…but what do you do when they don’t want to help themselves?  I’ve met and seen people who do not want to help themselves, but they enjoy the pity and attention they get from their struggles.  They don’t listen to the advice that is given, and they don’t consider those being affected around them (or the effects/affects it has on Psychic people).  That is not healthy for them, and that is not healthy for you.  You expend energy in trying to help someone, but they don’t even use it, and then you’re surrounded by negativity on top of it.  That is not good.  Feeding that mindset they have isn’t going to help them get better—quite the opposite actually —and it’s going to cause damage to you.  Depending on the situation, you might be an enabler.  It immediately becomes a toxic relationship.  

The best thing to do here to simply create distance and back away.  It will be hard, especially if it’s a loved one…but they’re not going to get better no matter what help you give them if they don’t want to help themselves.  If they keep wanting to rely on you, then you’re going to have to back away so they can rely on themselves—learn for themselves.  It is their Chart to live, they have to experience it and take care of it themselves.  There are always other resources they can turn to other than you.  This distancing may be permanent or temporary depending on the situation, but You need to take care of yourself first.

Another problem is though: what if they do want the help, and they do want to help themselves, but the help you’re giving isn’t working, or if it’s becoming too much for you to handle?  This will be hard to hear, but create some distance and take care of yourself first.  Possibly not as extreme as the other one I mentioned—but it will depend.  If you sit and talk with them about how you cannot help in the way that you’ve been helping anymore, and they understand and are okay with it, then it’s fine.  You can still talk, of course, and do things other than trying to fix everything that is wrong, but still show love and support—have a healthy relationship.  If you talk with them and they understand, but they keep relying on you to help fix everything, then you need to create some distance.  They are not going to learn how to take care of themselves if you’re always going to do it for them, if you want to fix everything for them.  They still have to live their own Charts.  You might still talk with them or hang out, but perhaps certain conditions are required depending on the circumstance.  Now, if you talk with them, and they don’t seem okay with it…you can guess what I’m going to say.   Distance–maybe absolute.  Depending on the circumstance and situation, the distancing may be permanent or temporary, but take care of you first.  

It is so important to take care of yourself first and foremost.  Self-Care isn’t the same as selfish.  

Please, learn from my mistakes.  I’ve been trying to “Fix It” for so many years for so many people.  Not too long ago actually, something happened, and I had an emotional breakdown (I think it was pretty bad, it felt pretty bad).  I’m trying to recover from it still, and it’s taking so much longer than I expected.  I’ve had to start practicing some serious (most likely temporary) distance from a very close friend (who I am extremely in tuned with)– and it’s terrible because I can’t really tell her myself why I’m having to back away as much as I can (a mutual friend talked to her for me), or I’m not sure if she knows how bad I am (or how bad my breakdown was), or how hard I’m trying to recover and how long it’s taking.  I don’t want her to feel bad.  I don’t want her to feel guilty.  If I were to be honest with how I’m doing though, truth be told…

This is a result that could happen that I’m currently experiencing right now: For a good solid week or so, I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep until 5 a.m and waking up at 9 a.m because of how emotionally distraught I was (without knowing why exactly–just things on “replay” in my head).  I feel as though I have no (emotional/mental?) energy.  I am struggling to do the things that I love because of how low energy I am, and that sucks.  One of the things I love is helping people, I just love doing what I can to show my support to others—but I can’t handle the seriously “heavy” stuff right now.  I feel like if I tried, I would be pushed to another breakdown again.  I am not in a place right now to handle it, which is hard for me because I’ve just been so used to handling almost anything for years.  I can’t differentiate my emotions very well at the moment—is it me?  Am I still in tuned with my friend?  Am I in tuned with another friend or family?  I just can’t tell right now.  I either want to be isolated right now, or if I do want to hang out with people, they have to either be positive or take care of themselves well enough.  I can’t filter so much negativity at the moment right now.  It feels like there’s a huge weight on my back, and I’m so tired and drained.  I don’t want anyone to ever feel this way.

I’m working on taking care of myself now.  Although I still have trouble falling asleep, I’m falling asleep earlier and earlier and finally getting a full rest for the most part.  I’m working on things that I want to do, even if I don’t feel as though I have much energy (I do it in little spurts).  I’m not putting the blame on anyone either, I’m at fault for the most part for being this way.  I neglected taking care of myself, and I take that responsibility.  I technically knew better, so now I’m trying my best now.  If I had taken care of myself, I wouldn’t be this bad, and recovery shouldn’t be taking this long.  I’m also definitely not saying never ask for help or help others—please ask for help or offer help, but in a healthy way.

When you practice Self-Care, you are able to be there for other people, you’re able to have energy to do the things you love to do, and most importantly, you’re able be healthy.

Please, Psychics—and just anyone— although it is nice to show love and support and be helpful, it is not your job to fix everything that is wrong with a person’s life.  Everyone made their Chart with all the struggles that they planned to go through, and only they can go through it and take care of it themselves.  You can help them and support them, but you can’t live their experiences for them.  We come into this world with our Charts knowing that we can succeed.  The Charts we planned don’t get approved unless the Other Side and us know that we can handle it.  For those going through struggles right now: know that you can handle it. 

 Everyone: you’re a lot stronger than you think.  Whatever struggles you face, know that you will make it through them all.  Everyone goes through struggles in life, it’s how you handle it that’s important.  Make healthy decisions for yourself.  Make the right choices for yourself.  You have all the resources around you to make the best decision for yourself so you can get through it.  Take care of yourself.

Trust me, self-care is going to seem hard at first, and that’s okay.  What’s important is that you keep trying no matter what.  Ask for help if needed, there is nothing wrong with that.  Heck, look at me—I’m still learning myself, and I should probably ask for advice myself.  I’m still figuring things out.  

I’m not sure how well organized I made this post, if it made sense, or if I explained my meaning correctly (if not, please, someone do a better version).  I just really want to say:

Self Care is Important.

bad news

mr blake’s teammate has had a last minute Issue for a race tomorrow and I’m now joining my lil cyclist on the road, so Modern Romance will not be done in time for its usual Sunday evening release. I feel awful but this one especially needs to be done right, so I’m going to take my time and post when it’s done to my satisfaction rather than rush it. I’M SO SORRY I really feel bad, after all those asks last week saying people enjoy getting it on sunday night I just knEW something was going to come up to Ruin Everything so please forgive me I love you pardon my indiscretions amen

yesterday's kids
the runaways, ft. micki steele
yesterday's kids

yesterday’s kids better step aside
yesterday’s kids with their horrible lies

can seokjin teach me how to be pretty

can yoongi teach me how to fix things

can namjoon teach me fashion

can hoseok teach me how to be happy

can jimin teach me how to be cute

can taehyung teach me how to model

can jungkook teach me how to be good at everything