can't find it larger :(

anonymous asked:

Hey Spooky, what advice do you have for overweight goths who are also poor and can't afford really expensive brands or items of clothing, let alone fit in most of the clothes sold at stores, to dress how they want? As a larger person, I can't find clothes I really like, or anything close to my size. I suffer with very large unisex t-shirts, jeans, and no makeup (because that too is too expensive), but never feel like I dress how I want. I want to dress goth,but it seems that it's weight limited.

Hmm, I’ve never had this issue myself so I can’t really answer with personal experience, but a few things come to mind:

  • Basic sewing skills are always great because they let you modify basic pieces of clothing into something that looks more “you”. If you know basic stitches, you’re not limited to finding that one perfect piece of clothing that both fits you and looks good, but you can find something in your size and then add or take out whatever it is that you want to express your style (e.g. lace or studs). Cut, add, take in, take out as you wish!
  • Never underestimate the power of bargain stores, second hand stores and eBay! There are also goth swap/give/buy/sell groups on pages like Facebook where you can make great finds if you keep your eyes open and act fast. The members are of every gender, size, and age, and the clothing comes from all over the world and from different years, so the selection isn’t as limited by trends and prominent brands.
  • One step further from basic modifying would be to learn how to sew clothing from scratch which would ensure correct fit and style every time. The price of the sewing machine pays itself back quite quickly (especially if you buy a used one), but I do understand this is not always possible for everyone.
  • Instead of spending money on creating a vast wardrobe, try investing in a few basic go-to outfits that you can wear on multiple occasions and alter the look of with accessories. For example, a basic velvet dress can be turned into so many different outfits depending on what you wear with it: a shawl, a hat, a belt, a collar or lots of jewellery all send out different vibes and the best part is that accessories like those are usually quite cheap.
    If you have trouble finding a basic piece of clothing like that, there are gothic brands that do big sizes. For example, @corvuscoronefashionphotography (or https://www.etsy.com/shop/CorvusCoroneFashion on Etsy) makes really nice gothy clothing and the sizes go up to UK 22 and bigger sizes are available custom made. They are a bit pricier than what you’d get at mainstream stores but they ensure a correct a size and the style is already there. Again, I know it’s not always possible to save up but even one really nice piece of clothing in your wardrobe can make you feel so much better about your style!

I’m sorry I can’t be of much more help and I don’t really know if that was helpful in the first place. There are a few blogs dedicated to plus size goths, so maybe the people who have submitted there will have better ideas and tips. I can’t access one of them (my browser blocks it for some reason) but the other blog is here: @plussizegoths.
Good luck! (:

flynn-science  asked:

From someone who doesn't have a consistent raid group and thus has to LFG a lot, I can't recommend the100(.)io enough! It's really great for both finding a larger group or a one-off raiding party.

Thanks!

gayharoldfinch  asked:

p1. i was wondering if you know anything about fat people and breast reductions? i feel really uncomfortable having such large breasts. they're like f cup or probably larger. i can't find comfortable bras. bras are painful. and all clothes look bad in them, but the clothes i prefer, the more masculine clothes (button down shirts, high necked tops etc.) look absolutely terrible. and recently i've been trying to dress more like that because i have this inexplicable urge to. i was a tomboy as a kid

p2. i now realise it’s how i feel the most comfortable. i’m trying to come to terms with my sexuality and also kind of my gender which i’ve felt weird about recently and i’ve realised that these enormous boobs just complicate everything. i can’t go anywhere braless even at home. i really want to. but i dont feel like a trans man like i don’t want no breasts but like idk… anyway, not important. my question is this. i told my mum i wanted a reduction w/o mentioning gender/sexuality stuff and

p3. she got annoyed and said that if i lost weight then they might get smaller anyway. but the thing is i’ve always had big boobs. and i’ve gained weight and i don’t think they got much bigger. but what if she’s right? what if she’s right and i waste money on a reduction because as i get older i gain weight and they just get big again? do you know anything about this kind of thing? i know roseanne got a breast reduction and she was fat so…. but that’s like a tv show so idk. any advice? thanks

Yeah, I know some. I wear FF or G cups, and am planning on getting a reduction after I either have a kid or finally decide I’m not going to (because they’ll just get bigger again if I have a kid; these days they can preserve lactational capacity). I am, btw, a cis queer femme woman; it’s not just tomboys/butch women/trans men who want reductions.

First – and I’ll get to other considerations later, this is just about bras as an immediate stop-gap – if you cannot find comfortable bras, you are probably not being fitted properly. That’s because most places don’t do proper fittings, or often fittings at all. I’ll recommend to you what I recommend to my friends: Go to a nice department store that does fittings (Nordstroms, Macy’s, Dillard’s; DO NOT go to a Victoria’s Secret under any circumstances). Get a fitting. Tell your fitter you want sports bras or minimizing bras. If you can’t afford $65+ per bra, take notes, tell the nice woman you’re going to have to think about it, and get thee to the internet. (If you can at all manage it, but one thing at the store. It’s not her fault the bras are too damn expensive, and she needs to sell things to keep her job.) You can find a number of sites to get them at better prices, and even ones that will help you convert from a size in one brand to the appropriate size in another. Proper support for your breasts is very important, and can help prevent all kinds of problems.

Your mother is wrong. If you’ve always had big breasts, and they haven’t changed with your weight, they’re unlikely to shrink if you lose weight. (Mine never have.) Some people’s breasts do shrink as they lose weight, some don’t, but them not changing as you gain weight is a good predictor of them not shrinking as you lose it. You may have trouble finding a doctor who won’t tell you to lose weight, though.

More importantly, weight loss doesn’t work long term; even if you lost weight and your breasts shrank, you’d gain the weight back and your breasts would get bigger again. It’s not a long-term solution.

Even more important: It’s YOUR BODY. You get to make that decision. Tell your mother so.

If you are having back problems or serious breast pain, and you get a reasonable doctor, there’s a good chance you can get breast reduction entirely or mostly covered by insurance if you have it. Talk to your doctor.

Depending on your band size, you might investigate sports bras at Title Nine. Their cup sizes don’t go up to very large, but I used to get DDD sports bras there (still at size G) and found they made good minimizers when I was working in kitchens.

You can also investigate binders, which aim to completely eliminate the silhouette of breasts. Some people find them comfortable, others find them uncomfortable. For some people, it can aggravate acid reflux and other digestive issues. But you might find it worth it, especially as you explore your gender. They can be pricy, but there are a number of small charities out there that exist to help people get them.

If there’s a chance you might want a complete mastectomy later, you might want to wait on reduction if minimizing bras and/or binders will work ok for now, just because surgery kind of sucks, and keeping your number of surgeries down is usually a good idea. But it’s your body, and that’s your decision to make.

-MG