can't do the splits

The transition between But It's Better If You Do and I Write Sins Not Tragedies on AFYCSO. Reblog if you agree.

“you see everything in such black and white terms” I have bpd wtf do you want from me

Stuff I've Actually Heard People Say Part 3
  • "If a leaf fell on your face and stayed there, would you eat it?" "Wait. What kind of leaf?"
  • "One time I broke my finger during school, but I just ignored it because I had a test the next period."
  • "I just chugged four bottles of lemonade and ate half a bowl of Milky Ways, I'm ready to go!"
  • "You can't do the splits to achieve your destiny."
  • "Amoebas don't breathe."
  • "I hate this, even though it's to my advantage."
  • "We've gotta trick Ryan Gosling into being a furry."
  • "Who is Mac, and why is he cheesy?"
  • "Ah ha! All I have to do is ram myself into trees!"
  • "You smell like a piece of shoe."
  • "I love contagion food."
  • "Today I cried listening to the Trolls soundtrack."
  • "Ah, but this is a good thing! It just means I can begin manufacturing leg irons!"
  • "If you don't do it, I'll put the paperclips back in my ears."
  • "I thought we were gonna be furries together."
  • "Oh no, they're trying to be relatable!"
  • "I've got some sick hula-hooping tricks."
  • "Is that a pair of pants with no body?"
  • "Get schooled by a cucumber picker!"
  • "Your flowers are fat." "They're still pretty." "They're pretty fat."
  • "Your mouth, your money."
  • "All the money we've paid for violin and piano and voice, and the chicken noise is what gets them every time."
  • "Hey! No one coughs on my mom!"
  • "Yes, a Roaring 20s themed wedding!... but also dragons!"
  • "Everyone must come in their best armor."
  • "They do match! This one says "I love British boys", and the other is a picture of Zayn, who is a British boy!"
  • "I clip my nails, and they keep growing back!"
  • "Congrat! A single congration, no congrats for you."
  • "This is my finished."
  • "Memes will be the death of this country."
  • "I am ready for death to claim me."
  • "Sasquatch and stretch."

Dance practice: J-Hope focus

My eyes would always wander off to Jimin and Jungkook dancing because of the split screen. Now, I can fully focus on Hoseok without being distracted.

2

happy girls!!

Percy's second time in Tartarus
  • percy: hey neeks
  • nico *eyes closed, legs crossed on the grass, meditating*:
  • percy: hey watcha doing buddy
  • nico *ignores him openly*:
  • percy: HEY N I C O HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU
  • nico: shut the fuck up.
  • percy: what are you doing!!!!
  • nico *opens eyes*: JUST RECOLLECTING THE SPOOKYNESS FOR HALLOWEEN
  • percy: oh cool how does it work???
  • nico: go away, please.
  • percy: can't I watch? I wanna watch. how do you do it??
  • nico *splits ground in half, percy falls down*:
  • nico: like this
The signs as weird shit my friends have said to me:
  • Aries: "The towel is my lover. No, fuck you, I'm not washing it."
  • Taurus: "You kissed like...right on the fleshy part of her lip."
  • Gemini: "I'm a colored pencil hoe."
  • Cancer: "I'm naming my child Mesopotamia."
  • Leo: "My eyeliner is sharper than your stupid knives."
  • Virgo: "Okay but...what if Darth Vader was a furry?"
  • Libra: "God damn, you're throwing some shade on Facebook at Tr- that's me. You're throwing shade at me."
  • Scorpio: "You're the sluttiest virgin I've ever met."
  • Saggitarius: "Don't think that just because I have a dick I can't do a split like the best paid stripper in town."
  • Capricorn: "Maybe if you'd stop being a goddamn, weakass bitch about it, you'd be able to hold his fucking hand. But no, youre a little wimp."
  • Aquarius: "I wish I looked like a lotus flower. Then I'd be like...petaly."
  • Pisces: "I named the little piece of hair that sticks up on my head Jennifer."

anonymous asked:

I have always wondered this. Is it easier to fight in really tight skinny jeans or in a floor length, ridiculously full, flow-y skirt? Or would it depend on training or fighting style or something? What about just in a random brawl? I'm thinking jeans so tight you can't do splits in them or bend over too far, and the skirt not being tied up out of the way, because that's the logical thing to do with a skirt like that in a fight. thanks!

The real question for clothes is always: does it allow for freedom of movement?

If the skirt allows for the legs to move freely without tripping you up or trodding on the hem, then that’s fine. Ultimately a loose skirt that comes down to around knee length is going to be better, simply because it allows for a better spread of the legs in order to create a base. If you’re kicking, then the long skirt is going to get in the way or have a greater chance of tangling the legs up in the fabric.

Skinny jeans seem like the obvious choice, but the question lingers on how well they stretch. When you’re fighting, you need a wide range of motion. When you look at most athletes working out, military uniforms, or martial arts’ gi’s, you’ll notice they all have two things in common: heavy duty, loosey goosey.

In the UFC, female fighters often wear tank tops or just bras. This is in comparison to male fighters who fight without shirts. There is a secondary, more practical reason for it, however. Tight sleeves will interfere with their ability to throw punches.

Physical combat like punches or kicks rely on rotation of the body’s joints to achieve momentum. Momentum creates power. You’ve got to turn and pivot, twist your hips in conjunction with your shoulders and achieve a full stretch of the arm.

Tight clothes interfere with that, thus limiting the body’s ability to move and generate power. It’s ultimately self-defeating.

What you see when someone takes a female character and dresses them up all cutesy without regard for the realities of what they’re facing is someone taking a character who is assumed to start at disadvantage and giving them more disadvantages. Then, they tell them to strive to meet the same high standard as those without handicaps.

Nothing is going to stop you from getting creative with your fashion choices, but conventional women’s fashion and a combat lifestyle don’t naturally mix. If you want a female character who dresses fashionably while they kick ass (and don’t mind their properly picked choices getting destroyed in the process), you’ve got to do the legwork.

I’m still wondering why the hell they’d even care, but there’s room to work within the paradigm for character flaws.

Fashion is ultimately what you make of it. Trend setters set trends. Androgynous fashion for women is a thing. If your girly girl character doesn’t mind tears and stretches in her flower print skirts or spending an extra $40 to buy a new blouse when hers gets spattered in blood then what does it matter?

The question is not what your character should or shouldn’t wear. It’s accepting the connotations implied and deciding on how do you want to deal with their lifestyle choices.

The power of knowledge is that it allows you to make choices rather than luck into happy accidents. Those choices are what ultimately give your character personality and depth.

The point of choosing the clothes one does for combat is:

1) Protection

A lot of different kinds of clothing, like leather, can function as makeshift armor. Layering on an outfit like loose fitting jeans, work boots, and a motorcycle jacket works well. All three pieces are designed for active/working roles roughly similar to the damage you can take while in combat.

Women’s clothes are, sadly, by and large not designed with practicality/activity in mind. They tend to be tighter and more form fitting, designed to enhance the figure rather than protect it from general scuffs, friction burns, and bruises. They’re also lighter and made from thinner fabrics.

Men’s jeans, for example, are thicker and denser while women’s jeans are thinner.

2) Freedom of Movement

Power is created via momentum, momentum is created by the body’s motion and rotation of the joints. If any piece of clothing restricts that, then it is hampering a character’s ability to fight.

Sometimes, you’ll see gif sets going around Tumblr of female martial artists doing sidekicks in high heels. They’ll talk about how impressive it is and it is, but then you’ll see someone else talk about how it justifies feminine beauty in conjunction with combat. It doesn’t.

One of the problems with high heels is not just balance but also rotation. When you perform a sidekick or a roundhouse, the foot pivots to either a full 180 or a slightly lesser 90 degree angle. The upper body tilts in relation to the height of the kick to mediate balance, while the hips either turn over or rotate across. For a successful connection, speed is also necessary. Kicks like the roundhouse or the sidekick are a big eye catching motion and fairly easy to avoid if you see them coming. It’s a huge resource commitment and can create a massive defensive opening if you fail.

A kick in high heels is a test of balance but no matter what you do, it will halve the power of the kick and it will be much slower than it might be in flats, sneakers, or barefoot.

You’ll often see this problem with stuntwomen in tight clothes. They don’t move as well as an stuntman or woman in loose clothes. They’re inhibited and it hurts their ability to fight.

Ultimately:

This is where some of the jokes about women being magic come from. It’s also where discussions in feminism begin about unrealistic expectations, that women are expected to do more than their male counterparts for similar results.

“I want my character to be feminine and kick ass!” sounds innocuous on the surface but it emphasizes the duality in expectation. A female character who fulfills society’s requirements (which a woman must in order to be considered good) and still be successful enough at fighting while actively choosing to inhibit themselves so as not to die.

Kim Possible was probably a happy enough median, if you ignore the bare midriff.

-Michi

This blog is supported through Patreon. If you enjoy our content, please consider becoming a Patron.

anonymous asked:

Coco, may I ask for some of your fluffy Haikise headcanons?

I have all kinds of HaiKi headcanons though most of it involves NC17 ones so //w\ But yeah fLUFF hoho

1. It doesn’t seem like it but Haizaki has always been watching Kise’s every movement because he has his eyes on him and he thinks that Kise is good in more ways than one. At times he catches Kise in his dorky moments or just Kise laughing like the bubbly person that he is and Shougo-kun gets taken aback because he isn’t ready for this much cuteness, he thinks it’s just not his kind of thing but he doesn’t even know why his face suddenly feels hot when Ryouta makes those stupid faces.

2. At times Shougo wishes those smiles would be directed at him but who is he to wish for such thing when he treats Ryouta like trash though. So Haizaki continues to be in denial and indulges himself in things like going out with pretty girls (mostly blonde) and just fucking around. He doesn’t know why it is so hard to find someone prettier than Ryouta’s dumb face though. 

3. Some time after Winter Cup ended, Haizaki finds himself in Tokyo just fooling around and going to different arcades because they have got the good machines in Tokyo. And then he stumbles across Ryouta playing Dance Dance Revolution and Haizaki snorts at him because Ryouta looks so ridiculous even though he is actually.. good and he has got a nice ass too ehem //w\

4. They didn’t know how it starts, but Haizaki starts to come down to Tokyo quite often after the first time he saw Ryouta and keeps hoping that maybe he will see him again and he does. And Kise is always there because the arcade is near his modelling agency and the first time he met Shougo-kun there, they start to have a fight with each other. Except that they fight in games and it’s just a brutal rivalry fight at first but it soon turns to something that they both enjoy because Haizaki is good at stealing people’s skill and Ryouta is just as good at copying people’s skills too. They’re on par with each other.

5. They start hanging out with each other after several encounters at the arcade though and Kise is surprised that Shougo-kun knows so many things about him. When Shougo blurts out that he actually knows about Ryouta’s favourite food, Ryouta asks him how the fuck he got that information. And Shougo just shrugs it off and walks ahead of Ryouta because there is no way he is letting Ryouta know that he had been watching him for all these time and of course he isn’t going to let Ryouta see the red that has gotten on his face.

6. Old habits die hard, and when they go out to eat together Shougo-kun prefers to eat what is on Ryouta’s plate rather than his. And then one time Kise purposely orders something that is too spicy for average people to handle and Shougo-kun gets a shock of his life after that because he has always known that Ryouta is a little shit, never did he know he will fall trap to that side of Ryouta. The only thing that makes it all worth it is hearing Ryouta’s hysterical laugh when he chokes on the food though ///w///

7. Somehow Ryouta manages to convince Shougo-kun to play one-on-one with him because he is always itching to play basketball all the time and Shougo-kun looks like he has nothing better to do and so they start playing basketball. Despite Haizaki’s claim that he quitted because he hates basketball, it’s actually a lie because he is still so good at it and a few weeks after playing with Ryouta he signs up for the basketball club again //w\

8. After a little while, every time they go out to eat together.. Kise would order Haizaki’s favourite food and Haizaki is actually kind enough and orders things that he thinks Kise might like because they’re going to switch anyway. Also Haizaki thinks that Ryouta is annoying because he keeps pestering him to wash his hands before they start eating but there is part of him that feels dokis because Ryouta actually cares ///w///

9. Some times when Ryouta is in one of his crappy moods after a rough day with his modelling job, Shougo would definitely notice. And then he will invite Ryouta to either play one-on-one or just spending times at the arcade. Most often than not, Kise didn’t refuse because he feels like he gets to spread out his wings a little bit when he is with Shougo-kun because there is nothing to hide from him. 

10. Ryouta asks Shougo to take selfie with him one time and it becomes a routine for them to take at least one picture a day every time they hang out together. Shougo will refuse sometimes and Ryouta will start pouting and sulking and then Shougo will give in and make dorky faces at the camera because he is just mimicking Ryouta’s ridiculous expressions. 

11. Soon Haizaki’s pictures start to appear on such a frequent basis on Kise’s blog and people start asking Kise who is this ‘Shougo-kun’ that Kise always takes pictures with. Haizaki stalks Kise’s blog pretty often and then he sees Kise replies to them that it’s a secret followed with a stupid winking emoticon. Somehow Haizaki feels like he wants to know the answer too ;w;

12. Their relationship is mostly platonic at first because there is a part of them that feel like they’re still rivals despite the many times they hang out together. Somewhere along the way Kise starts messaging Shougo-kun quite often though and their messages turn from just basketball/video games to personal thing like how Kise’s day is going, what they’re eating for lunch and stuffs. Ryouta loves to send his picture to Shougo because he has got this belief that he has a pretty face, and he really is because Shougo keeps each photos that Ryouta sent to him eheheh //////

13. It’s some time during Winter when they start to become closer. The reason is because Ryouta always refuses to wear extra clothes underneath the jacket because he says that he will look like a bouncing basketball. Shougo sighs a lot at this because he always had to discard his scarf and sometimes even his furry jacket and drapes in on Ryouta’s shoulders claiming that he isn’t feeling cold anyway //w\ 

14. It’s still Winter and Ryouta keeps forgetting his gloves, so Shougo takes Ryouta’s hands in his and shoves it inside the pocket of his jacket. Their hands stay together in there and Shougo wonders if Ryouta is flushing because of the cold or because of something else. When he brushes his fingers over Ryouta’s hands, he sees the blush start to creep out to the tip of Ryouta’s ears and Shougo smirks because it’s the first time Ryouta is reacting this way with him //w\

15. It’s Winter Cup and instead of going at each other with the feelings of hatred bubbling up within them. It’s more like Spring comes a little bit too early for Shougo and Ryouta because there are flowers and a tiny bits of loves blooming inside their hearts. //w\

If Sasuke and Hinata owned a bakery together, I want it to be split in half where Hinata has sweet to death treats and drinks on one side and Sasuke has more moderate or bitter snacks and drinks on the other.

And people love it because it’s different and may even think they’re in a rivalry and were forced to share the same building.