can't believe i haven't really seen anything about this on my dash

the shoebox project sentence meme - part one
  • "it frightens the shit out of birds which you can imagine is exactly what I look for in a mode of transportation."
  • "_________ has got his head stuck in a window."
  • "S/He is not doing great, s/he is stuck in a window."
  • "Do please try not to be arrested."
  • "I don't know why s/he looked so panicked. I was wearing a top hat and was very chivalrous I think."
  • "We only almost got arrested once, and that was a mistake, I'd never seen that goat before in my life."
  • "QUIET IS BORING. BOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIING."
  • "I want to help you eat your sandwich."
  • "So this is a short note to let you know I miss you too! Though I miss my jacket more!"
  • "Stop making faces, that one you've got on right now is particularly unappealing."
  • "Repeat after me, ______: I do believe in commas. I do, I do."
  • "Summer love. Ah, the romance. Ah, the black eyes."
  • "It isn't funny. Stop laughing, I mean it."
  • "To pee or not to pee is hardly the question."
  • "I can say funnification if I want and one day, when our epistolary extravaganzas are published, the world will sit back and think What Brilliance!"
  • "Stop looking at your tongue in the mirror it's unbecoming."
  • "_____ do you think my tongue's weird? I keep looking at it in the mirror and it is WEIRD, it's sort of POINTY."
  • "I did that on purpose, you see, to give you something to do."
  • "Betrayal is a bitter potion to swallow, you know."
  • "There are nights I awake in a cold sweat, clutching my pillow, convinced I have got a GREAT BLOODY PINK DUSTER STICKING OUT OF MY ARSE when ALL I TRIED TO DO WAS HELP MY FRIEND IN HIS HOUR OF NEED."
  • "REST UP ALL RIGHT, don't do any calisthenics for a couple of days and no violent shagging!!"
  • "S/He's always around and s/he smells nice so why not right?"
  • "Like how some girls give friendship bracelets, we can give Friendship Scars."
  • "I like your nose."
  • "Anyway how can you resist a face like this?"
  • "So I look like two years ago I was on the African desert battling mad stampeding elephants with very pointy tusks."
  • "S/He's glad. S/He just doesn't know it yet."
  • "Can I have a towel, please, o most patient and understanding of hosts, on whose territory I have done nothing but trespass and drip."
  • "hey! that was definitely Inappropriate Touching."
  • "There are people who would give their eyeteeth to be groped by me, you know."
  • "Now. Where were we? Ah yes. Revenge."
  • "Thanks for making me miss all the fun, you stupid wanker."
  • "if it's war you want, it's war you've got!"
  • "At least i don't have fleas."
  • "You're a madman."
  • "I've got new socks on!"
  • "You do not win with no more underwear ever."
  • "You're again apologising for yourself. Stop it!"
  • "We must be getting somewhere; i didn't poison you, myself, or light anything on fire last time."
  • "You expect me to believe that?"
  • "I don't hate _____. _____ hates me."
  • "You told me you hate him/her!! We all hate him/her!!"
  • "Maybe you're being slowly eaten away from the inside."
  • "Are you busy after class? I want to talk to you, this is stupid."
  • "I thought you looked rather dashing, nearly snorting it up into your nose like that."
  • "Hang on, aren't we in a fight?"
  • "We've been very mature. We've definitely resolved the issue at hand."
  • "Well, if it makes you feel better, you look terribly handsome."
  • "I've always had a thing for older men."
  • "I encourage all forms of flattery from my underlings."
  • "They do say, that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."
  • "What could possibly make things worse than right now?"
  • "Just don't do anything stupid, ______, and don't say anything stupid, either."
  • "You know, I thought this night couldn't get any more beautiful, and then you stepped round that corner."
  • "You are the only (wo)man who has ever managed to hold my complete attention. I can't stop thinking about you, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I do nothing but pine and steal your clothing--"
  • "I was under the impression that I had never even held your partial attention for more than a half an hour."
  • "I heard you and _______ shared a most passionate embrace."
  • "S/he's really a terribly attractive (wo)man, you know, for her/his age."
  • "You know, I do find myself developing a strange craving for human flesh."
  • "_______, you are determined to ruin everything!"
  • "Oho! Someone's not getting into the Halloween spirit!"
  • "I haven't said anything!"
  • "I've not said one word about your grammar."
  • "I'm not frightened."
  • "______, you are about to learn the meaning of a thumping."
  • "How do you know if you're paralyzed?"