can you see my effort ;~;

Let people grow.

When I was younger I was very right-wing. I mean…very right-wing. I won’t go into detail, because I’m very deeply ashamed of it, but whatever you’re imagining, it’s probably at least that bad. I’ve taken out a lot of pain on others; I’ve acted in ignorance and waved hate like a flag; I’ve said and did things that hurt a lot of people.

There are artefacts of my past selves online – some of which I’ve locked down and keep around to remind me of my past sins, some of which I’ve scrubbed out, some of which are out of my grasp. If I were ever to become famous, people could find shit on me that would turn your stomach.

But that’s not me anymore. I’ve learned so much in the last ten years. I’ve become more open to seeing things through others’ eyes, and reforged my anger to turn on those who harm others rather than on those who simply want to exist. I’ve learned patience and compassion. I’ve learned how to recognise my privileges and listen to others’ perspectives. I’ve learned to stand up for others, how to hear, how to help, how to correct myself. And I learned some startling shit about myself along the way – with all due irony, some of the things I used to lash out at others for are intrinsic parts of myself.

You wouldn’t know what I am now from what I was then. You wouldn’t know what I was then from what I am now.

It distresses me deeply to think of someone dredging up my dark, awful past and treating me as though that furiously hateful person is still me. It distresses me to see others dredging up the past for anyone who has made efforts to become a better person, out of some sick obsession with proving they’re “problematic.”

Purity culture tells you that once someone says or does something, they can never go back on it. That’s a goddamn lie. While it’s true that some remain unrepentant and never change their ways and continue to harm others, it’s important to allow everyone the chance to learn from their mistakes. Saying something ignorant isn’t murder. Please stop treating it that way. Let people grow.

Rick Riordan won a Stonewall award today

for his second Magnus Chase book, due to the inclusion of the character Alex Fierro who is gender fluid. This was the speech he gave, and it really distills why I love this author and his works so much, and why I will always recommend his works to anyone and everyone.

“Thank you for inviting me here today. As I told the Stonewall Award Committee, this is an honor both humbling and unexpected.

So, what is an old cis straight white male doing up here? Where did I get the nerve to write Alex Fierro, a transgender, gender fluid child of Loki in The Hammer of Thor, and why should I get cookies for that?

These are all fair and valid questions, which I have been asking myself a lot.

I think, to support young LGBTQ readers, the most important thing publishing can do is to publish and promote more stories by LGBTQ authors, authentic experiences by authentic voices. We have to keep pushing for this. The Stonewall committee’s work is a critical part of that effort. I can only accept the Stonewall Award in the sense that I accept a call to action – firstly, to do more myself to read and promote books by LGBTQ authors.

But also, it’s a call to do better in my own writing. As one of my genderqueer readers told me recently, “Hey, thanks for Alex. You didn’t do a terrible job!” I thought: Yes! Not doing a terrible job was my goal!

As important as it is to offer authentic voices and empower authors and role models from within LGBTQ community, it’s is also important that LGBTQ kids see themselves reflected and valued in the larger world of mass media, including my books. I know this because my non-heteronormative readers tell me so. They actively lobby to see characters like themselves in my books. They like the universe I’ve created. They want to be part of it. They deserve that opportunity. It’s important that I, as a mainstream author, say, “I see you. You matter. Your life experience may not be like mine, but it is no less valid and no less real. I will do whatever I can to understand and accurately include you in my stories, in my world. I will not erase you.”

People all over the political spectrum often ask me, “Why can’t you just stay silent on these issues? Just don’t include LGBTQ material and everybody will be happy.” This assumes that silence is the natural neutral position. But silence is not neutral. It’s an active choice. Silence is great when you are listening. Silence is not so great when you are using it to ignore or exclude.

But that’s all macro, ‘big picture’ stuff. Yes, I think the principles are important. Yes, in the abstract, I feel an obligation to write the world as I see it: beautiful because of its variations. Where I can’t draw on personal experience, I listen, I read a lot – in particular I want to credit Beyond Magenta and Gender Outlaws for helping me understand more about the perspective of my character Alex Fierro – and I trust that much of the human experience is universal. You can’t go too far wrong if you use empathy as your lens. But the reason I wrote Alex Fierro, or Nico di Angelo, or any of my characters, is much more personal.

I was a teacher for many years, in public and private school, California and Texas. During those years, I taught all kinds of kids. I want them all to know that I see them. They matter. I write characters to honor my students, and to make up for what I wished I could have done for them in the classroom.

I think about my former student Adrian (a pseudonym), back in the 90s in San Francisco. Adrian used the pronouns he and him, so I will call him that, but I suspect Adrian might have had more freedom and more options as to how he self-identified in school were he growing up today. His peers, his teachers, his family all understood that Adrian was female, despite his birth designation. Since kindergarten, he had self-selected to be among the girls – socially, athletically, academically. He was one of our girls. And although he got support and acceptance at the school, I don’t know that I helped him as much as I could, or that I tried to understand his needs and his journey. At that time in my life, I didn’t have the experience, the vocabulary, or frankly the emotional capacity to have that conversation. When we broke into social skills groups, for instance, boys apart from girls, he came into my group with the boys, I think because he felt it was required, but I feel like I missed the opportunity to sit with him and ask him what he wanted. And to assure him it was okay, whichever choice he made. I learned more from Adrian than I taught him. Twenty years later, Alex Fierro is for Adrian.

I think about Jane (pseudonym), another one of my students who was a straight cis-female with two fantastic moms. Again, for LGBTQ families, San Francisco was a pretty good place to live in the 90s, but as we know, prejudice has no geographical border. You cannot build a wall high enough to keep it out. I know Jane got flack about her family. I did what I could to support her, but I don’t think I did enough. I remember the day Jane’s drama class was happening in my classroom. The teacher was new – our first African American male teacher, which we were all really excited about – and this was only his third week. I was sitting at my desk, grading papers, while the teacher did a free association exercise. One of his examples was ‘fruit – gay.’ I think he did it because he thought it would be funny to middle schoolers. After the class, I asked to see the teacher one on one. I asked him to be aware of what he was saying and how that might be hurtful. I know. Me, a white guy, lecturing this Black teacher about hurtful words. He got defensive and quit, because he said he could not promise to not use that language again. At the time, I felt like I needed to do something, to stand up especially for Jane and her family. But did I make things better handling it as I did? I think I missed an opportunity to open a dialogue about how different people experience hurtful labels. Emmie and Josephine and their daughter Georgina, the family I introduce in The Dark Prophecy, are for Jane.

I think about Amy, and Mark, and Nicholas … All former students who have come out as gay since I taught them in middle school. All have gone on to have successful careers and happy families. When I taught them, I knew they were different. Their struggles were greater, their perspectives more divergent than some of my other students. I tried to provide a safe space for them, to model respect, but in retrospect I don’t think I supported them as well as I could have, or reached out as much as they might have needed. I was too busy preparing lessons on Shakespeare or adjectives, and not focusing enough on my students’ emotional health. Adjectives were a lot easier for me to reconcile than feelings. Would they have felt comfortable coming out earlier than college or high school if they had found more support in middle school? Would they have wanted to? I don’t know. But I don’t think they felt it was a safe option, which leaves me thinking that I did not do enough for them at that critical middle school time. I do not want any kid to feel alone, invisible, misunderstood. Nico di Angelo is for Amy, and Mark and Nicholas.

I am trying to do more. Percy Jackson started as a way to empower kids, in particular my son, who had learning differences. As my platform grew, I felt obliged to use it to empower all kids who are struggling through middle school for whatever reason. I don’t always do enough. I don’t always get it right. Good intentions are wonderful things, but at the end of a manuscript, the text has to stand on its own. What I meant ceases to matter. Kids just see what I wrote. But I have to keep trying. My kids are counting on me.

So thank you, above all, to my former students who taught me. Alex Fierro is for you.

To you, I pledge myself to do better – to apologize when I screw up, to learn from my mistakes, to be there for LGBTQ youth and make sure they know that in my books, they are included. They matter. I am going to stop talking now, but I promise you I won’t stop listening.”

The 9 Elements of a VILLAIN

If we’re being honest, one character is always the most fun to develop when you’re writing a new story. It must be the main character, right? The person you’re going to follow throughout the story, the one that means the most to you?

Nope. It’s the villain.

Villains are just FUN. You get to creep into the darkest corners of your writer brain and conjure up the most unashamedly detestable human being you possibly can. 

This is how we look when we begin creating a villain. 

But sometimes, it can be difficult to to make sure they’re fully believable humans. So here are the nine elements that have helped me out when developing these terrible people … 

1) Hero’s Shadow:

The relationship between the main character and the villain is the most important one in the story, because it is the source of all conflict. Without the villain causing trouble, the main character wouldn’t have the chance to be a hero. Without that trouble, the main character’s weaknesses wouldn’t be pressured, which means they couldn’t change. The villain is a condensed and magnified embodiment of the inner weakness that the hero is battling. They’re the SHADOW of hero, the example of what will happen if the main character goes down the wrong path. Both are facing the same problem in different ways. For example Darth Vader and Luke.  

2) Conflict Strategy:  

In the pursuit of stopping the hero from achieving their goal, the villain is going to attack them on 1) a personal relationship level 2) a societal level and 3) an inner level. They’re going to attack the people around them, they’re going to cause consequences for the community surrounding them, they’re going to get into their head and plague them. Because the hallmark of a villain is that they’re the person who’s perfectly suited to attack the hero’s greatest weakness. Villains should have a distinct set of tactics to destroy the main character, on at least two levels. 

3) Flaws: 

This one’s expected. Of course a villain has flaws, it’s in the job description. But flaws do not equate to ‘He kicks turtles every morning before breakfast’ or 'His favorite hobby is butterfly stomping’ or, more within the realm of possibility, “He wants to kill the hero”. These are evil actions, NOT flaws. A lot of villains, particularly in movies, will be given horrible things to do without any explanation for WHY they do them. And it’s pretty easy to give them reasons: just give them human weaknesses! That’s it. Whether the actions they take are as small as theft or as big as blowing up a planet, these actions stem from recognizable HUMAN FLAWS. So like a main character, a villain needs mental and moral flaws.  

Yup, even Maleficent has human flaws. And she’s a dragon part of the time. 

4) Counter Goal: 

All characters exist because they want something. And what do villains want? To get whatever the main character wants (for very different reasons), to stop them from reaching their goal, or another goal that directly conflicts with the hero’s goal. As long as that big tangible thing they want locks hero and villain in battle, you’re good. Think 101 Dalmatians: Cruella and the good guys are fighting over the puppies.  

5) Surface Motivations:  

Why is it that villains always have a team of followers? Because villains never outright state their true motivations. They always have a cover story, and that cover will paint them as righteous. Villains want to look like the good guy. So their real Hidden Motivations are defended by twisting perceptions of Good & Evil, by portraying evil acts in a positive light, by indulging their followers selfish emotions and desire to feel like “one of the good guys. " 

Take Gothel for example: she’s a loving mother who wants to protect her daughter from all the world’s darkness. (Sure you do, Flynn stabber.)  

Surface Motivations never stand up to logical scrutiny and a functioning moral compass, but giving your bad guy a compelling argument against your good side always makes things more interesting, which brings us to …

6) Counter Statement:

The main character needs to learn some kind of truth that will enable them to fix their lives, overcome their weaknesses, banish their ghosts. It’s whatever statement about "how to live a better life” you want to prove with your story. Your villain has other ideas. They don’t agree with that statement, have other beliefs about living life well, and represent an argument against it. For example, Voldemort: “there is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it." 

Although your argument isn’t very convincing, Voldy. I mean, you’re living in the back of some guy’s head.

7) Characterization: 

This is everything on the surface of the villain. The way they speak, the way they look, the way they act, their role in life, their status and power. This is the facade they project for the world to see, a calculated effort to control how they are perceived. This is closely connected to that surface want, because that surface is what they wish people to believe about them. Over time, the reader and the other characters are going to be able to see through this mask and see what it conceals. My favorite Disney example of this is Mother Gothel: on the surface she’s this bubbly mom who loves Rapunzel and wants to protect her from the harshness of the world. 

You can think of this as the text … 

8) Hidden Motivation: 

And this is the subtext. That surface motivation they want the world to believe is a mask concealing their true motivation, which is always rooted in their flaws,  selfishness, and skewed beliefs. 

9) Ghosts, Justification, Self-Obsession: 

These three are closely related, so they get counted together.
Like main characters, villains have GHOSTS: events from their backstories that knocked their worldviews out of alignment, that marked the beginning of their weaknesses, that haunt them still. Because these happened, the originally benign person allowed themselves to turn into someone who could occupy the job of "villain” in a story. Usually, these events are genuine misfortunes and are worthy of sympathy, just like the ghosts of a main character. Think of Voldemort growing up in an orphanage talking to snakes.

BUT! When it comes to ghosts, the major difference between a hero and a villain is HOW THEY DEAL with these unpleasant past events. Both have suffered, but react to suffering in very different ways. A villain will be consumed by these events, obsessed with the real (or imagined) persecution or disadvantage they’ve endured, convinced that all personal responsibility is nullified by their status of injured party. Past tragedies become a talisman that grants immunity from decency. 

This scene from A Series of Unfortunate Events sums it up.  An adult makes an excuse for a terrible person by saying he had a terrible childhood. And Klaus replies: 

Yes, maybe they’ve both lived through tragedy. But THE KIDS aren’t hurting others because of it. 

Because villains, who are constantly victimizing heroes, are completely convinced that THEY are the true victims here. No matter what they do, no matter what they are, they blame everything on that ghost, whether it was another person, society, or circumstances. And later they blame the hero, who they see as the REAL villain. For example, Frollo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame:  

“It’s not my fault, I’m not to blame”

So! WHY are villains like this?

SELF-OBSESSION! Yup, villains spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about themselves and their plights and their plots. Think of any villain and it’s not hard to see the inherent narcissism behind everything they do. Like willingness to take action is the nonnegotiable trait of a main character, self-obsession is the trait that all villains seem to share. 

So! Developing villains in this way has worked out for me so far. If it looks like it might be helpful for you, give it a try.

And in the spirit of creating someone to torment our main characters and ruin their lives, here’s one more maniacal laugh for the road:

10

Here’s another round of my rough animation for Castlevania. I animated most of these during the revision process to help along scenes we wanted a little more impact from. Since they were scattered throughout the episodes, I thought I’d do a side by side so you can see how the roughs got translated into the final product.

Next week I’ll post the sequence where the majority of my animation effort went. I hope you’ll look forward to it.

Lúcio and the Muiraquitã

As some of you know, I’m a huge fan of Overwatch, specially all the amazing effort Blizzard’s team had on character design and development. They have very interesting designs, characteristics and unique personalities. Not to mention they have a double care to create a multi-national and multi ethnic group of heroes. The same goes to my compatriot, Lúcio, the Brazilian DJ and a lovely support hero.

As far as I can see, they traced a very nice character with very precise and even natural Brazilian characteristics. Look at his full name: Lúcio Correia dos Santos is a very common name and sounds very natural to heard to us, differently from many other Brazilian characters in other games (I’m looking at you, Tekken’s Eddy Gordo). He also carries many of the carioca style on his voice manner (even more in the pt-br dub, since his VA here is from the same city) and, most of all, he’s a reliable character and carries his nationality nicely. Just look at his main colors: yellow and green (with blue details), all the colors of our flag, combine so great that doesn’t sound rude at all. He’s true to his favela origin and is a party lover who loves to cheer everyone around him.

With all this, I looked at his frog tattoo and found it… curious, to say at least. It reminded me of something from my region. But, I wasn’t sure if the Blizzard team would go THAT FAR to characterize him.

But then I received my Art of Overwatch’s artbook (really good artbook, but, I recommend it) and when I was reading about his conception, I read this:

“..they based his frog symbol on the giant monkey frog, a bright green amphibian from the Amazon basin that’s used in traditional healing ceremonies.”

This frog in specific is on the origins of a very popular amulet from where I’m from: the Muiraquitã.

This amulet (that from the native language can be translate as “knot of trees”, usually craft on greenish stones like jade and nephrite or even in woods, is an old artifact from the Low Amazon Basin’s Indians, like the Tapajós and Konduri to represent different kinds of animals, like fishes, turtles, but mostly frogs). The first reports about they are waaay back from the 16th century, back from the Portuguese Colonization period of Brazil.

This region right here.

According to some historians, the Tapajós women used this amulet to prevent diseases and infertility. As an extension of the original monkey frog’s curative properties they used.

Nowadays, this amulet can be found as a pendant and illustrate many decorative objects around my regions, usually sold as a souvenir.

Ultimately, I’m utterly happy to see an amulet from my region (so far away from Lúcio’s hometown, Rio de Janeiro) being used on his design to reinforce his healing and cheerful personality and style. Overwatch dev team, have my most sincere  gratitude and praise.

Obrigado!

Art by Aukki13

For more info: Muiraquitã’s article at Wikipédia

anonymous asked:

Do you have any kind of process for picking colors for the backgrounds? They all seem to have really nice uniformity, and I would love to read up on how colors like that are picked (or if it's more intuition based). I do remember you mentioning that you also had help from another color lead before, so I was wondering how much of that they help out vs the colors you chose?

hey, thanks so much! this might get a lil long (as it always does!!) so bear with me.

firstly i want to say, there’s no right or wrong way to pick colors. every artist has their own palette they prefer and i think it’s super delightful to spend time developing your own special sense of color. so even though i’m explaining things in a “this is how you do it” sort of way, it’s not the only way! just my way. the best method to develop your own sense of color is to look at a LOT of art, look at a LOT of the world around you, and practice practice pratice.

at this point in my life i pick colors intuitively just because i think it’s something i’m naturally tuned into, and i’ve been doing it for a few years, so i don’t actively plan my palettes. but here are some things that i think about as i pick colors.

firstly, i want to go over hue, value, and saturation. i’m sure everyone knows these intuitively but i want to explain them in words. hue, value and saturation are what make up a color, and decide how colors differ from each other.

hue: what color the color actually is. red, purple, green, yellow, and everything in between.

value: how light or dark a color is. if you’re painting traditionally, adding more white or more black to a color lowers or raises its value.

saturation: how “pure” the color is vs how much neutral tone is in it.

here’s an example of all three:


this comes into play because a big mistake i see beginners make is that they pick a “just” color, and by that i mean they pick “just blue” or “just yellow”. imagine buying a set of oil paints and only using paints straight from the tube without ever mixing. it would be impossible! so i try to avoid picking “just” colors, except as for a complementary color (more on that in a bit). here are some variations of a red, for example.

so, the biggest thing for me when i pick colors is that i want them all to be friends. i want them all to have something in common so that they get along. i usually lose control of a painting when my colors feel to different from one another. so, i will usually start a painting with one color i know for sure i want, and “subordinate” other colors to it, meaning every other color i pick has to look good with that color. as to how you figure out what looks good and what doesn’t, that just takes time and lots of observation to build a personal opinion :) here’s an example from one of my paintings. in this case, the main color is the trees.

and here’s another from rick & morty, the main color is the sky this time.

now that that’s out of the way, i’m going to give you the Actual Cheat Sheet for color palettes. in color theory, there are 8 basic color schemes that are generally pleasing to look at. here they are.

i usually use an analogous palette or monochrome palette out of preference. the two examples above more or less fall into those categories. however, i also like to use split complementary because the complimentary color adds a LOT of contrast and visual interest. it’s great to use if you have a specific thing in a painting you want to draw attention to. here’s an example:

it doesn’t always have to be a perfect split complementary, just one color that differs from the “family” of colors that take up a majority of the piece. 

now! you might be wondering when’s the right time to subordinate a color, or where to put it, or how much of it to use, etc. and the answer is: CONTRAST. there is always visual interest in things that are different. i was rifling through my school notes and found these great types of contrast when working with color.

value: things that are light vs things that are dark.

hue: two colors that look different. I.E. yellow vs blue.

saturation: things that are saturated vs things that are desaturated.

proportion: note the example above. a majority of the painting is orange, so the green stands out because there is proportionally less of it.

temperature: things that are warm vs things that are cool.

complementary: red vs green, blue vs orange, yellow vs purple. when in doubt, these colors always contrast against each other because they have nothing in common (there is no red in green, etc).

simultaneous: this is a little advanced and i’m bad at explaining it, so please read up on it here. 

a super helpful exercise is to look at your favorite illustrations, paintings, photographs, designs, etc and assess which one of the 8 color schemes (linked above) it has, and which types (can be more than one) of contrast it has. we did this in school and it REALLY helped me look at color better. here’s part of the assignment i did, the artist is annette marnat.

so! that’s pretty much how i think about color and how i pick my colors! i hope it was somewhat helpful! there’s so so so so much about color theory i can’t even begin to cover, i highly urge you to watch some videos and read some books and articles to further your study. a great starting place would be this series of videos. these are made by my teacher Richard Keyes, i think he had a dvd or something. everything i’ve talked about so far i learned from him and he is an absolute expert in color. these videos are invaluable. if you take anything away from this post, let it be to watch these videos hahaha.

to answer your question about my color leads, every painting was a collaborative effort between the three of us, and sometimes other painters too. it was a very hands-on crew, so i can’t say any of the r&m bgs i did are 100% “mine”. however, i think my personal color sense is waaaay different than jason or phil’s, which made the process very interesting because we usually had 3 very different opinions hahaa. you can check out their work here and here to see what things they brought to the table in relation to my own contributions.

thank you for the ask! again, i hope this was helpful :)

“make the princess speak and you will have the crown of kings.”

my knees hurt, as usual, from scrubbing. technically i’m too high of Maid Station to help out with these things, but i like seeing what happens when you clean. the development of things. how a lot of effort can make something. i like learning and trying and working hard to get towards something.

and i’ve seen them, from the back of pillars, from behind cracked doors, from beside her (on the best days) the way they talk to her. oh beautiful won’t you just look at me. oh darling. if you speak i’ll be your prince. if you speak i’ll be your king. 

the princess, i know, finds the lines of suitors boring. it’s in the way her hands are always moving. she hides yawns, leaves early, we make her apologies. once, a man comes and tries to startle her into screaming. she rolls her eyes and looks directly at me. i have to hide my smile behind my sleeve. he is taken away while still screaming.

by accident, i find her once, crying. when we imagine princesses, they always cry daintily. hers is hoarse, angry, and something in it breaks me. in my station i should apologize and bow and leave. instead i am frozen, watching her shoulders heaving.

she looks up and spots me, her cheeks ruddy. i know i should go but instead i make a big show. i act as one of her princes. i make grand gestures and speak in deep voices. i frantically offer her handkerchiefs and trip over my own two feet. a smile crawls up over her, slowly. i dab my sweat away and offer her the used rag. i feign a fluster, turn a terrible cartwheel, make shadow puppets. the sound of her laugh, raw and rusty, sends shivers through me.

for a while, i do not see her after this. but then i am called to her chambers. she is crying again. i offer silly gifts, pebbles and dusting rags and a candlestick from her own kitchen, pretend to steal it, use it as a hat, rock it as a babe. she laughs more easily this time, gladly, and when she laughs i am taken by more important maids, thereby officially Excused.

it goes like this for months. the winter comes. i rarely see her. i spend my week thinking about ways to please her. i knick interesting cookies, show her shiny buttons, learn to cartwheel in a full skirt, and then promptly how to make it look foolish again. i learn how to juggle hot bread and dance as a man would, i learn how to balance on a ball and how to fall down without hurting myself, how to fake a fight with my own body, which colors she likes and which don’t please her.

i show up on a cold eve with a knotted line of scarves hidden down my sleeve, worried and breathless, wondering why she’s been crying. the door opens and she is sitting there, happy. at first i’m confused, but she waves me in. next to her is her small dessert, in two containers. i’m not sure how to respond, so i fake a fall to hear her laugh, and then sit at her feet. she gives me ice cream - so rare a treat. i know what went into making it - the hours of shaking. it’s smooth and tasty. i don’t feign my reaction, but she laughs anyway, kindly. 

it goes like this. i see her more frequently. she likes giving me new things, watching me discover i hate kiwi and love oranges and would die if it made her laugh breathlessly. i’ve made her keel over with cackling and she’s put a fire in me. sometimes we just sit there, quietly, enjoying each other’s company. 

it’s in her hands, always moving. little things i thought were just her, fidgeting. here’s how she says she’s thirsty, this is what her hands do when she needs a second to think, here’s how she shows she’s happy. this is how i learn to speak back to her. around her i spend much of my time smiling. i feel every visit is a gift. a new part to unravel. i find out she doesn’t respond to spoken things, that she needs to be looking in order to know you were speaking. sometimes she has me talk and she holds her hands to the base of my throat, her eyes wide and wondering. sometimes she just looks at me and i forget that i’m her jester in chief. i get caught up in her eyes, in how expressive they are when she’s happy, in how when she’s sad i feel like i’m drowning.

i never see the king or queen, but i know when she’s had a visit with them, because she never comes back happy. two winters i have known her, two winters and now we dine frequently. i am often called to stand beside her, to whisper translations of her desires into the ears of someone more important than i, someone who gets to be the voice of royalty. i can’t decide if i’m her friend or her plaything, but i don’t know i care much of the distinction. every moment i’m near her is a moment free of friction. i take stock of suitors and curtsy to them in daylight only to mock them in the candle’s eye later.

she asks me one night to stay. it has been a bad day. it’s completely not okay. i cannot say no but i cannot, by my station, stay. but she begs with her eyes and her hands and i know i’ll take the punishment. 

we lie beside each other. i make sure to turn to her when i speak. in the dark she can’t see me, so i move my hands in the way i’m learning. she asks if i am ever lonely. i cannot tell her that i am always lonely without her beside me, so instead i say i think all people are very lonely and just are pretending. she laughs a little at that and says she thinks her parents are the two most lonely people that ever met. her mother was like her; broke a fairy curse and talked, just once, although nobody knows what she said. well, excepting her father, who was the only one around, and who won her hand in marriage.

from her mother she learned the art of hands, of speaking without words - from her father she learned that who she was included a curse. that she just wanted someone who would make her open like a rose - someone who could fix her. how she stared out into the royal garden and wished on flowers to be what her kingdom needs.

she fell asleep pressed against me. i couldn’t breathe. i was still awake in the morning. 

the punishment never came. we spent nights like this. the handmaidens had grown to know me. whenever their princess was stubborn, i worked magic and made her lovely.

it was a terrible thing. i did too good a job, i think. the princess glowed too much or shone too brightly - or at least, i saw it that way, so who knows what the truth is. every day it felt like we were being rushed with princes. 

her father’s temper at hosting failed. it was the day before her twenty-first birthday and first time i’d ever seen him. he stormed in at the end of the session. “just speak!” he said, “it’s not that hard! do for others what your mother did!” 

“tomorrow is your last day of this,” he warned her, “either you pick a prince or i pick for you. i’m done with it.”

he stormed off. she was left shellshocked and trembling. that night she didn’t ask me to come, but i waited outside, just in case she changed her mind. i understood why she needed space. either she’d speak and be married tomorrow or she’d be married shortly. i heard her crying and it took everything in my power not to rush in and hold her, cradle her gently. but i cannot come into a room of a royal person without being invited. i stayed there, tears in my own eyes, thinking of treason.

the next day was a huge festival. what had been a birthday celebration was turned into a day about princes. i watched her shake her head. i tried to cheer her up. i tried everything. i frequently came inches from causing public humiliation, toed the line of mocking and failing to acknowledge my station. she wouldn’t smile. not once. not even for anything.

the day was long. the bonfire wore down. i watched her crumple into herself. i was out of ideas. i knelt at her feet. her eyes barely looked at me. just wait, i said to her with my hands, i’ll be right back. i took off running.

the price of stealing is losing my hands. these things that i spoke to her with. these things that mattered so much to me, that helped with my comedy and cleaning. 

i didn’t think of them. i bloodied my fingers when i ripped the royal roses from their stems. and then i ran, as fast as i could, back to her feet. i picked them to show you, i said, as she gasped, looking at my treason, they’re beautiful and nobody told them to open to reveal their secrets to the bees. they are unbroken. as you are. as you always will be. 

she fell off her throne and for a second i was beyond speaking, worried something had happened, or she’d fainted, or i’d said the wrong thing. but then she was on her knees, her arms around me, and i heard it. i heard the soft croak of her speaking. just one word, and it sent shivers down me. my name, in her voice, awkward and unwieldy, but full of love and passion, burning fire through me.

i felt a hand on my shoulder. i was pulled away from her. they already had me in handcuffs while i struggled to get back to her, to tell her i loved her, to beg her to run off with me or maybe just hold me around her, maybe just have her for a moment, because i couldn’t live without her for a moment longer.

they put me in the cells. i rotted in there, for a while or for no time at all, i’m not sure. the thorns scarred my palms. i watched the scabs build up and flake off. every time someone came down, i flinched, wondering if i would be the next to be taken and chopped into bits.

but one day the light was different. not the smoky torch of the jailer, instead a bright light in a lantern. at first when i saw her, my breath caught in my throat, mistaking her for my princess.

but she was my queen. at first we stood in silence. and slowly, i moved my hands to speak. is she married? is what came out, even though i should be more worried about me myself and me.

she is not. she bit her father on the arm when he tried to make her. then she fought him. and then ran away. it took us a bit to find her, i’m afraid. she threatened her own life and the life of everyone in this place. the queen was smiling. i was told there was a young woman who could make the princess speak, whom she would die to save, who brought roses to her feet. someone in a cell, rotting. are you her?

the memory of her voice rang through me. i’m she.

yes, her hands said, for even now, aren’t you speaking to the silent Queen?

she opened the door. come, she said, let’s get you cleaned up for the ceremony.

the crown of kings. when she wraps her arms around my neck and laughs next to me, i am royalty. when she smiles or makes a joke or asks to see my cartwheel again, i’m lost in her. i kiss her whenever i can, which is often. we have roses in a vase at the base of our bed, and for all of the kingdom, i’d give my hands if it would keep her laughing.

the next time she spoke was just once, at our wedding, where she said the two words i do to bind us for eternity. she had learned from me, from holding her hands over my voicebox, the way i learned from her how to use hands to speak. sometimes at night she says my name, just because she likes what it does to me.

i’m more blessed than a king. every day i spend with her is a day i spend happily. 

Aries: “The floods have passed. You won.you stand victorious now, gold medal around your neck. You have conquered and won every required.  Let the flames come roaring home. Let them carry your spirit, because I know you’re tired. Let joy fill you again. The time for war cries have passed, it is now time to sing. Let the flames drape you in warmth and illuminate world. Let them restore all that has been laid to waste. It is the healing era.”

Taurus: “You’ve been at war against change for so long, ironclad in your stubbornness. If only you could see that this time is going to bestow your wings upon you. Preparing for you to take flight; from a caterpillar cemented to the ground, into a stunning butterfly. You just have to be willing to take the leap and enter your chrysalis first. This is no easy feat since there is no instant gratification here. You must put in the effort and persevere. You can do it.”

Gemini: “Time to grow quiet and reflect. You’ve wallowed in naïveté, and played in a childish mindset for too long, my dear. Being loud, screaming and laughing, jumping up and down until the ceilings rattle with joy. It’s time to silently ponder and deliberate carefully; especially in regards to what fate has in mind for you. It may not always be easy, the road may be rough. But hold on. Have faith that it all changes with time.”

Cancer: “I know sometimes the change looks scary, but it’s time to let it come. You already wore the crown and your reign was glorious. Let someone else take the stage, and pass the baton. You aren’t stepping down, just stepping aside. You don’t always have to be the image of sheer perfection. Let yourself fall every once in awhile. Being held up on a pedestal has to get exhausting every once in awhile.”

Leo: “This is it, your shining moment. All eyes on you, watching you light up the room like the sun. Take the risk, step up to the plate and give it your best shot. Aim your arrow and point it true. You cannot miss. Be sure of your steps because you’re heading in the perfect direction for you. We are all cheering you on. Can’t you hear us? We want nothing but the best for you right now.”

Virgo: “The world applauds you for all that you’ve done, but the time has finally come. Lock the door, lay down, close your eyes and breathe. Feel the weight of the world fall off your shoulders.  You do not have to carry the burden of everyone’s sins anymore. You are not responsible for kissing every single scraped knee better, and mending each broken heart. Allow yourself to focus on what you need. You can’t expect to save anyone if you yourself are drowning, my dear.”

Libra: “I know the storm is raging. The thorns sprouting from your blooming roses deprive your buds of the little sunlight they initially had. You’re feeling just as suffocated and trapped right now. Everything around you is a whirlwind of chaos, but don’t let that break you. Stand stronger than the storm pounding against you. Learn to make yourself big, even in the smallest of places.. Purchase some weed cutters; treat yourself to a solution, even if it’s temporary. Have faith in knowing that the storm will pass and the sun will radiate once more.”

Scorpio: “Heed my warning you stubborn child. Listen to me, I’ve been here before. This isn’t criticism or condemnation. It is just firm advice from someone who only wants to see the best in you. Who only wants to watch you succeed. By allowing the red haze of fury to cloud your mind, you surrender your better judgement. Every time you drink the poison you lose another piece of yourself to make room. The pressure builds inside you like a volcano and when you erupt; your pride, and joy will be your only casualties. You’re strong enough to let this shit go so, do it.”

Sagittarius: “Your words drip like venom from your fangs, digging under others skin. I know you think it shouldn’t hurt, but god does it ever. And yet, here you are, a beacon of optimism with a grin plastered on your face. What a beguiling cluster of traits you are. I can’t figure you out, and I suppose I’m not meant to. But if we could find some kind of peace that doesn’t give me anymore scars or leave you any more upset, I would call that a victory.”

Capricorn: “You’ve locked yourself in a tower for so long. Thinking that the only way to stop missing the sun’s warm glow is to never feel it in the first place. Open yourself up again. I know it terrifies you inside. But just because it gets rather cold some nights doesn’t mean the heat isn’t worth it. You can’t survive on your own forever. Eventually you’ll need to reach out. Just know I’m here waiting. Hand outstretched, waiting for your firm grasp.”

Aquarius:  "Time to look forward to a new sunrise. Grab your jacket and let’s go! You have so much to show the world and so much to accomplish. The church bells are ringing for you. Your time has come. They are calling you, coaxing you into glory. Do not be scared, this is the blank page you have been craving for. You just have to take the risk and jump. To push your fears aside, leave them behind. They won’t do you any favors.“

Pisces: “Use your innate strength as fuel for your inner flames and utilize them. You are a goddess and you own that shit! Time to start acting like it. Make these flames dry your tears, make them dance for you beneath the spotlight. Use them as a shield, or a deadly weapon. Make them your tool to carve art onto every inch of your world. Whatever you do, just make it yours. Because, Honey if you can tame the roaring flames within you- you can tame anything”

—  This Week In Astrology (Co-Written by @babygirlastro )

wolfraya4  asked:

Hi, I really like how you draw and also how you do your style, but could you publish a drawing that is from your beginnings ?. Well I've been drawing for some time but sometimes I do not see progress in my drawings. I would be inspired to see how you started to keep going and get to your level

i could really spare myself the embarrassment and really cherrypick this but nah let’s do this

remember that as long as you’re drawing and making an effort, then you’re evolving as an artist. improvement can be a slow process but the more you work, the more you learn new things and discover different methods to try. not everything will be good and sometimes things will feel really good- there were a bunch of times i looked at a drawing and thought “this is my finest work so far” and now it’s just…. not because i kept moving forward from it! i guess my cheesy inspo advice is: take pride in your work but never get complacent because there’s always room to grow! case and point, here’s some stuff i was very proud of at the time i drew them lmfao:

love for the signs
  • aries: i love you because you're fiercely, genuinely, mercilessly yourself. with a whip-sharp tongue and bright eyes, you are all i admire and all i ever want to be. you say what's on my mind - you are like part of my soul. you remind me of who i am, and i'm never more sure of myself when i'm with you.
  • taurus: i love you because you're so warm and soft. i am undeserving of your gentleness, your tenderness, your patience and comfort - but you offer it to me anyway. you hold me up when i'm in danger of falling down, and you make me laugh when i feel like all i'd rather do is cry. you are forever my guardian angel, and i could never be thankful enough.
  • gemini: i love you because you make me feel alive. it's like life comes into focus when you are around - everything is vivid, interesting, beautiful. you're like a shot of oxytocin when the darkness comes creeping in, and i could never get enough of you.
  • cancer: i love you because you feel like home. we may not see eye to eye, but you stand by me when i need it most. you are the rock keeping steady by my side, and there is a quiet familiarity you bring that always puts me at ease. you are my family.
  • leo: i love you because you make me feel like i am the brightest star in the sky. you treat me like a princess, and your vivacity makes my heart deliriously happy no matter the circumstances. you are the light of my life, radiant and unforgettable.
  • virgo: i love you because you are like stable ground in the middle of an earthquake. you ground me, see into me - not past me like so many people do. you help me feel okay when things feel anything but. you are unchanging in the face of chaos, and i know i can always turn to you.
  • libra: i love you because you never push me too far. i don't feel like i have to act around you - unlike others, you don't expect anything from me, and it's a freedom more relieving than words can explain. you let me be without a mask, and sometimes that's all i need.
  • scorpio: i love you because we don't need words. i can count on you to have my back when it counts, and you understand when i need silence more than conversation. you know the importance of quiet, and i appreciate that more than you know.
  • sagittarius: i love you because you see my potential. you are my inspiration, my brilliant epiphany - you make life something fresh and new, filled with adventure and excitement. you make me believe that there is so much on the horizon. with you i could forget my problems - you are irreplaceable, my elixir like nothing else.
  • capricorn: i love you because you try your very best. you may not be able to read my mind, but you put your entire heart and soul into doing whatever you can for me. sometimes it's not the result that counts but the effort, and you prove that to the furthest extent.
  • aquarius: i love you because you bring me back to reality. you not only listen, but you speak, and your honesty means everything to me. you never judge me - instead, you take everything i give you and try to help me with all your heart. your dedication is unwavering, and no matter how deep under i am, you never let me drown.
  • pisces: i love you because you are so damned strong. you've been through so much shit, and yet i know that you'd drop everything in a second to help me. despite everything you've suffered, you still look at life like it's the best thing you've ever been given. i don't deserve your support and optimism, but you have the best heart of anyone i've ever known - and i know that somehow, it's always open for me.
8

i don’t really draw ship art usually for anything but the ghostblossom ship is so silly and good that i just had to draw it at least once. sorry most of it’s doodles tho i only put a good amount of effort in attempt 1 as you can see and cagney looks slightly different in each drawing hhhhhhhhhAAAAA

i like to imagine that if blind spector somehow had a crush on anyone he would just be god awful at expressing his feelings well.

i’d also like to thank @suspicious-spirit ‘s art for getting me into this

(this will probably be the only time i draw this tho, so just saying in case you are thinking about following me for it you should know.)

(Left URL out on purpose)

I get this response a lot. Called a kill joy, “can’t I just enjoy this ONE thing?” “But it’s so cute!”

So, let’s say someone wants to acclimate their dog to chickens. “I saw this cute story on the internet, someone put their baby chicks with the dog and she adopted them and thought they were her puppies! I’m sure it’ll be fine, we’ll watch them closely!” It goes fine. Just like the cute story on the internet. Until one inevitable day, big ol’ pupper steps on a chick and since birds have ridiculously delicate skin that can be torn from simply pulling at it a little too much, the chick gets a scrape. No biggy, they put flour on it and the bleeding stops (assuming they actually know that bird blood doesn’t clot and needs an outside source otherwise they’ll bleed out). How cute, the doggy was licking the chick’s wound! She licked the flour off, no problem, just reapply it. Hm…it seems the wound isn’t healing. It smells funny too. No worries, just give it a day. Except…unless the chick gets antibiotics that only a vet can prescribe…it’s dead. A perfectly healthy adult bird with a gram negative bacterial infection can only survive 24 hours at most without getting treatment, how long do you think that gives a baby chick?

It’s never just a cute story. It’s never just a video. Because other people are going to see it and think it’s okay. You might not care about the dead chick, hell, the owner might not even care about the dead chick, but what about when someone else sees the cute story and thinks it okay? Okay, don’t care about chickens, what about a parrot? They’re commonly known for being hyper intelligent, loved birds. Same thing can happen to the parrot. Doesn’t matter if so-and-so said they’ve done it and never had a problem, because for every careless so-and-so there are five grieving pet owners who didn’t have it so lucky. They thought it was okay because someone else did it just fine.

So yeah. That’s why I gotta rain on your parade. Someone rained on my parade before I knew these cross species interactions were bad, but I fucking love my animals so I stopped allowing dangerous interactions before it was too late.

I don’t care if I’m ruining your day by saying you’re killing beloved pets by sharing these videos, stories, etc. Because you are. You’re not just killing birds, you’re mutilating dogs and cats- those cute parrots playing with kitties or puppies, those parrots can crack a skull with little to no effort. And every time they get shared with no one saying that it’s BAD and DANGEROUS, someone will see it and try it and their pet will be injured or dead.

Sure it might not be my responsibility, but I care a LOT about not just birds, but all animals. I don’t think any of them deserve to suffer or have their life cut short because someone simply didn’t know it was wrong.

So please, before whining because I made you feel bad, why don’t you think about who and what you’re impacting by doing so?

Quick PSA

So earlier today, I found a compilation video called, ‘Cuphead Cringe Compilation’ and found out that it used a video of mine that I had recently dubbed over. For one, I did not give this individual permission to use my video, two they did not credit me or any other content creator whose material they took, and three they did not change much of anything to the video except for adding loud music and filters to each video they compiled together. So, I sent in a copyright strike to the video and it was taken down.

A couple hours after the video was taken down, I got a message from the creator saying:

First off, thinking that not citing sources is okay to do, is NOT a strong way to start off your argument. Second, yes it would have changed it, because at least at that point, I would have left the video alone considering you went through the effort credit every creator whose content you used in your compilation. So I responded with this:


My next response was:

His final response to me sending that was this:

The last thing I said to him was this:

Tl;dr Because I went and did something about a person taking mine and several others content without our consent and monetizing them, he got upset and tried to justify his actions.

Kallura Ladybug AU

@autumnwoodlandfairy you asked for it xD

IT’S JUST CHANYEOL

♤ yoda
♤ big eared elf that everyone loves
♤ yeolllieeeee
♤ gets lost because he depends on gps
♤ causes baekhyun to get lost too
♤ fucking clumsy af
♤ hair color changes almost at the same speed as sehun’s
♤ tallest in exo’s ot9
♤ tallest in exo-k
♤ fucking tall

Originally posted by messijoahae

occasionally most frequently harassing kyungsoo
♤ likes to get bullied by kyungsoo
♤ likes to harass kyungsoo
♤ ends up getting harassed by baek and ksoo
♤ always worth it
♤ also tries to harass ksoo but it comes back at him
♤ remember that time he touched ksoo’s water and got water spat onto his face
♤ and it’s so cute because he’s so tall aaaa
♤ also he’s just cute in general
♤ but his aegyo makes us want to cry because we can see that effort 

Originally posted by mindfuck-of-asian

♤ forgets what he’s going to say 
♤ sometimes it’s just an empty “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
♤ cute nonetheless
♤ he could literally breathe and he’d be cute
♤ also fashion icon much
♤ also he looks out of place in edgy mvs like monster n lotto bc i spot a baby
♤ literally a beagle
♤ should battle baekhyun and jongdae for the title of “cutest beagle”
♤ that babyface makes me just wanna like do you know what i mean
♤ honestly he’d be cuter than his own baby

Originally posted by r-velvets

♤ chanyeol + glasses = my ovaries
♤ chanyeol + black hair = my ovaries
♤ chanyeol + cute hats = my ovaries
♤ chanyeol + stuffed toys = my ovaries
♤ chanyeol + exo = my ovaries
♤ chanyeol + breathing = my ovaries
♤ honestly he could do anything and i’d think i’m pregnant
♤ fUCKING BIASWRECKER AM I RIGHT OR WHAT
♤ how could you ignore this child though like

Originally posted by a-bacon-and-a-happy-virus

♤ look at his legs
♤ if you look at them for a while you’ll just 
♤ also i feel like he just wants exo to baby him
♤ but he’s so precious so why not
♤ also don’t say bad things abt him because he’s a precious baby okay
♤ chanyeol stans be like “come at me i’m ready because fuck you love you <3″
♤ honestly he could be sexy and would ruin the vibe by being chanyeol
♤ example one: the eve dance practice
♤ example two: every time he laughed and/or smiled in the eve dance practice
♤ example three: all of the above

Originally posted by krisis-wylie

♤ honestly if chanyeol is happy the fandom is happy
♤ it’s hard for him to be happy all the time so no pressure babe
♤ but seeing him happy just makes the world a bit brighter okay
♤ also him standing behind ksoo and baek and minseok is just the cutest
♤ he looks like a tree lmao
♤ a sexy tree
♤ a sexy tree i can’t take seriously until i have to
♤ just look at all the chanyeol moments compilations on the internet
♤ his laugh just 
♤ can i set it as my alarm because if it was i’d never miss school

Originally posted by parkchanyeolieoppa

♤ everything he does is just cute
♤ you could spam my dash with cute chanyeol pics and i’d be happy
♤ literal puppy right there
♤ cuter than any puppy i’d get
♤ says he’s bad at aegyo but is secretly the best
♤ same with dancing
♤ chanyeol + jongdae + junmyeon = dance line
♤ also when he jumps it’s so cool bc he’s so tall like woah
♤ also “nice skirt” and “chogiwa” and you know what makes me cry
♤ he’s so cute and precious and amazing and talented i swear

Originally posted by mauloveskpop

♤ his deep voice is so sexy and omg
♤ but then his amazing babyface omg
♤ t o r n
♤ also when he worships the rest of exo i just
♤ and when he was being interviewed by iheartradio 
♤ i think i died a little inside
♤ watching him be a little kid like 
♤ also watching him trying to be serious but failing
♤ and him trying to find his way around nyc
♤ and spilling so much cheese on his pizza lmAO

Originally posted by veriloquentmind

♤ also all the chansoo chanbaek and other chanyeol pairings are just
♤ and chanyeol swearing is just
♤ like his reaction after is just the most wholesome and pure thing i’ve ever seen
♤ also him being shocked is like woAH
♤ his face was just saying “i found the answer to life”
♤ highkey looked like a philosopher of some sort
♤ “i found the path to sehun’s dick”
♤ not saying it’d happen but he’d get lost and end up in junmyeon’s dick
♤ also him ordering for him and baek is just
♤ can you order for me too

Originally posted by sehyeols

♤ chanyeol in bed with sehun is literally just i love him so much
♤ and them learning english and reciting letters omg
♤ and him playing with his toys omg
♤ and him breathing omg
♤ just know you’re breathing the same air as exo apparently
♤ shocking right
♤ maybe you’ll be as tall as chanyeol
♤ also his hands compared to exo’s baby hands omg
♤ all chanyeol derps like why is he like this
♤ just love chanyeol like he’s an angel

Astral FAQ

These are Frequently Asked Questions I get about astral. Please check this guide before asking me questions concerning astralling! This will be updated regularly, as I receive more questions.

What is the astral?

Note that this is MY definition: I consider the astral to be absolutely everything; our plane of existence, spirits’ planes of existence, pop culture realms, etc. The astral is everywhere and everything.

How does astral travel work?

When you travel, a small portion of your consciousness leaves your body.

This consciousness manifests as its own body on the astral, or it could “awaken” in an astral body you already have. In travel, you do not see/hear/feel/think as clearly as you do during projection, simply because only a portion of your consciousness has left your body.

What is astral travel versus astral projection versus OBE?

Note, again, these are MY definitions:

In astral travel, a PORTION of your consciousness leaves your body and is able to explore other realms.

In Astral Projection, nearly your entire consciousness leaves your body. Astral projection is much harder to achieve than travel. This is the “gold standard” of astral travel, where you see/hear/feel/think with complete or almost complete clarity.

In an OBE, Out-of-Body-Experience, your consciousness FULLY leave your body. As of right now, I do not believe this is possible without a near-death experience, or actual death.

What are some ways to astral travel?

  • Meditate.
  • Guided meditations
  • Trance
  • Have a spirit you know and trust “pull” you into the astral.
  • (Visualization) Imagine a door. Imagine/focus on what is on the other side of the door. Walk through it.
  • (Visualization) Imagine an X (pool, mirror, etc). Imagine/focus on what is on the other side of X. Walk through it.
  • Lucid Dreaming
  • “Splitting”: Imagine a copy of yourself hovering above you. Notice your consciousness in your own body, then “jump” your consciousness into that copy of yourself floating above you. Proceed to go where you want.  

What are some ways to astral project?

Just….keep practicing astral travel, maybe try new methods. I highly recommend reading Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce, I have literally NEVER EVER found a more comprehensive, extremely informative, and yet still beginner-friendly and not overly complex guide to astral travel/projection.

Differentiating “true astral” from imagination?

True Astral:

  • will always have external interactions that are not in your own head; entities talking/living their own lives whether your imagination/consciousness directs them to or not. Entities moving independently of your will.
  • Spirits (good or bad) being able to follow you back home, to your physical body and interact with you there
  • Unexpected/Unpredictable occurrences happen
  • You get injured and it may hurt your astral body and maybe feel it a little physically too. Injury damages your magical abilities/astral abilities
  • Your astral body can die and you won’t be able to access “true astral” until you regenerate.
  • You can meet other humans consciously. As in, you can text your friend and meetup on the astral together, and talk about it IRL afterwards. 

Imagination:

  • You are in full control of everything.
  • What you expect to happen, will happen
  • Entities are like puppets or dolls; they don’t move around unless you imagine them doing so, and if/when they interact with you, it’s things you expected them to say
  • You will not tire, or will tire extremely slowly.
  • You die/get extremely hurt and nothing happens. You can regenerate at will/heal whenever and wherever you want.
  • You talk to your friend, then you talk to them later IRL and they have no idea what you talked about. 

Why do people always imagine common fantasy stuff when astralling? Don’t you think astral and what happens there is just your imagination and happens in your head? I mean strangely all the people who talk about astral experiences describe common fantasy stuff. I’d say if astral was real it would contain a lot of stuff people can’t even imagine, and yet everyone describes dragons, elfs, etc, that which their mind already knows, nothing out of ordinary. Isn’t this suspicious?

One reason people generally imagine common fantasy is stuff is because that’s what most people care about, and thus go to. It’s hard to care about a species that humanity has never even encountered before, isn’t it? Also, how can you visit the realm of something you have never even heard of/can’t imagine before? Astral travel needs knowledge of where you will go to, so it’s pretty hard (and probably super dangerous) to just say “take me somewhere beyond my imagination.”

There’s also the problem of perception: during astralling, the mind usually replaces things you don’t know with things you do know of, to use less energy while astralling. While you can force your brain to show “the truth”, the more the thing you are trying to look at is beyond your imagination, the more energy and effort it will take to see “the truth”.

How do you do astral laundry?

Note: Not limited to this list.

  • Have a companion you’re comfortable with seeing you nude do your laundry for you.
  • Astral travel two feet away from your earth self, take your astral clothes off, put them in your washer/dryer (with your astral self or earth self), physically run the washer/dryer (you can wash other clothes with it). Take your clothes out, travel again and put your clothes back on.
  • Destroy your clothes and remake clean ones.

How do past lives affect current astral shenanigans?

You might appear as one of your past life forms/bodies. Spirits from your past lives could also attempt to find you on the astral (whether malicious or friendly, so always be cautious).

How to meet spirits on the astral?

Tl;dr:

1. Be able to astral and able to distinguish between astralling/imagination.

2. Go somewhere with spirits.

How to safely meet spirits on the astral?

There is no 100% guarantee of safety when astralling.

Some suggestions are:

  • Have spirit guides/guardians/protective companions take you somewhere safe
  • Actually know where you are going and who you want to meet

How do you keep possibly malicious spirits/entities/beings from following you back home?

  • This is what wards in your living space/where you are when you astral are for. Wards can fuddle your energy signature from being found by spirits you don’t want to find you.
  • Make sure you “come back” correctly; that you walked back through your imagined door, imagined yourself falling back into your physical body, whatever.
  • Do a centering exercise, which will help you “pull back in” trace amounts of energy you left where you went when astralling. Do make sure your wards are up first, to make sure nothing follows the “pull” back to your physical body. If you don’t know what centering is/how to do it, check the “energy work” section of my FAQ/my energy work FAQ post.

Manners/social etiquette/social skills in the astral?

Obviously those will vary a LOT based on where you go. I literally can’t write a comprehensive guide as the astral is home to a limitless number of cultures.

But some things to keep in mind are:

  • Don’t fight every single thing you see ever. Don’t try and provoke fights with every single thing ever. Retribution is a thing and the majority of spirits have the advantage when fighting in the astral.
  • Just because something looks scary doesn’t mean it’s out to get you.
  • Observe the culture, maybe talk with some of the nicer (and not trickster) locals who can tell you the Do’s and Don’ts of their culture.

Heeeeeeey people keep talking about different places in the astral and are they alternate locations all on the same plane or are there alternate astral planes with alternate inhabitants?

There are alternate astral planes with their own inhabitants, and alternate locations on the same plane.

Example of the former: We are on earth. Heaven exists on its own plane of the universe.

Example of the latter: We are on Earth. An alternate location on our plane of existence would be Venus.

Is it possible for entities/other people to drag you into the astral (forcefully or not)?

Absolutely, both people and entities can bring you to the astral. And they can do it forcefully or consensually (consensually obviously takes a lot less energy). 

————————————————————————–

This will be updated every once in a while. Again, please check this FAQ before you ask me any questions concerning this, please ^-^

💗30 Days of Self Love 💗

This is a 30 day challenge meant to help people improve their self-esteem and learn to love and appreciate themselves a little bit more! You can start this challenge whenever you want, completing each day in the order listed or in whatever order you prefer. If any day is too uncomfortable to complete you can feel free to skip it and come back to it later or just skip it entirely.

If you choose to do this challenge please tag your posts with #30DaySelfLoveChallenge or #30 Day Self Love Challenge so everyone else who is doing it can view all the responses!

💗 Day 01: On a scale from 1-10 (with 1 being “horrible, can’t possibly be any worse” and 10 being “wonderful, can’t possibly be any better”), how would you rate your self-esteem right now? Why would you rate it that way?

💗 Day 02: List out at least 5 accomplishments or achievements you’ve made that you are proud of. These can be small or large, recent or made further back.

💗 Day 03: List out at least 5 non-physical things you like about yourself. These can be personality traits, talents, things you’ve done for other people, etc.

💗 Day 04: List out at least 5 physical things you like about yourself.

💗 Day 05: People are often kinder to others than they are to themselves, so imagine yourself from the perspective of a loved one. If you were your own best friend, what would your outside impression of yourself be?

💗 Day 06: Think of how old you were when you first started struggling with your self-esteem and write a letter of encouragement to your younger self.

💗 Day 07: List out at least 5 compliments people have given you. These can be compliments from people IRL or online and they can be about anything.

💗 Day 08: List out at least 5 good things that have happened recently. These can be things that have happened to you or to someone else or even just good stories you’ve heard in the news.

💗 Day 09: When your emotions get to be too much, what are some healthy things you can do to ground you and help you calm down? List out as many as you can think of.

💗 Day 10: Imagine you have a loved one who is on a long voyage (to sea, outer space, wherever) and misses you desperately. What would they write in a letter to you? What would they miss about you? Write a love letter to yourself.

💗 Day 11: List out at least 5 quotes that inspire you or make you feel happy.

💗 Day 12: List out at least 5 songs that make you happy when you listen to them.

💗 Day 13: Imagine the perfect day. What does it look like for you? Describe the weather, where you’re at, what you’re doing, who (if anyone) you’re with, and how it all makes you feel.

💗 Day 14: Many people have a problem with comparing themselves negatively to others. Take a moment to truly acknowledge the progress you have made in life without comparing that progress to anyone else. How have you become a better person? What hobbies do you have that you’ve improved at? What other areas of your life (no matter how small) have you gotten better in? List out as many examples as you can think of.

💗 Day 15: Being positive towards others can often help people be positive about themselves, so take some time and send anonymous positive messages to at least 10 people. These can be compliments or just a “hope you have a good day!”, to people you follow or just random people in tags you track. Look at how these people react to your messages and describe how it makes you feel.

💗 Day 16: List out at least 5 fictional characters you admire or connect with and describe what it is you admire about them.

💗 Day 17: What is your favorite positive interest or hobby? Describe how you first got into it and what you like about it.

💗 Day 18: List out at least 5 “I will ___” statements that you can apply to your day-to-day life in order to be more positive (example: I will believe people when they compliment me, I will ignore the voice in my head that tells me to doubt myself, etc.).

💗 Day 19: List out at least 5 coping statements. Coping statements are statements you use in order to feel better about yourself/your current state (example: I’m going to be okay, My feelings are difficult but I can handle them, I will survive this situation, etc).

💗 Day 20: Go outside. Use all your senses to observe your environment and identify things around you that you like, that make you feel calm or happy. Describe what those things are, what you see/hear/feel/smell that makes you feel calm or happy.

💗 Day 21: Everyone makes mistakes. What defines people is not that they have made mistakes but that they have learned from them and made an effort to do better in the future. List out at least 1 mistake you have made (using however much or little detail as you feel comfortable with) and describe how you have learned from it and grown as a person after making it.

💗 Day 22: List out at least 5 good deeds you have done for other people. These can be small things or large ones and can be as simple as something nice you’ve done for/said to someone rather than an actual favor.

💗 Day 23: List out at least 5 things that make you laugh. These can be jokes, movies, youtube videos or anything else.

💗 Day 24: What are you insecure about? Divide these things into two lists: things you can change and things you can’t. Now imagine that someone else has made this list. What advice or words of support would you give them about their insecurities?

💗 Day 25: What bad habits do you have? Make a list of them sorted by the ones you think will be easiest to break to the hardest. Beside of each bad habit write out things you can do in order to improve on them or ideas for more positive things you can do as alternatives to whatever the bad habit is.

💗 Day 26: What good habits do you have? What things do you already do that are positive and healthy and how did you come to start doing them? What advice would you give to people who struggle with those things?

💗 Day 27: Imagine your ideal self, focusing mostly on non-physical traits. How would this person feel about themself? What kind of person are they? What kind of friend are they to the people they care about? How is this ideal self different from you as you are now? List out things you can do in order to be more like them.

💗 Day 28: List out at least 5 short-term goals (things you want to do this week/this month/this year) and at least 5 long-term goals (things you want to do in the next 5+ years).

💗 Day 29: List out at least 5 reasons to stay alive.

💗 Day 30: Now that the challenge is over, rate your self-esteem again. On a scale from 1 to 10 (with 1 being “horrible, can’t possibly be any worse” and 10 being “wonderful, can’t possibly be any better”), where is your self-esteem at now? Why would you rate it that way? List out the things you have learned about yourself from doing this challenge and how you can continue to improve your self-esteem from here on out.

anonymous asked:

i'm sorry if you don't answer these kind of questions, but i can't find a reason to live. my fear of death is the only thing keeping me alive. i keep trying to get better and stay positive but it's just one failure after another. can you please help me

My friend, the simple act of reaching out has made a stranger on the other side of the internet connect to you, hurt for you, worry for you. Until you find a reason of your own, stay alive for me, and all the strangers you could turn into reasons to live, all the possible friends and reasons that are out there that you can’t see yet. It is ok to find reasons in anything or anyone, if you can’t find a reason for yourself right now. My reason used to be the whipped cream they put on chillers at Gloria Jeans. I stayed alive for whipped cream. And now I’m living for other, less dairy-based reasons. Those reasons weren’t apparent to me then, but they are now. I promise the same will happen for you. 

I have been there. So many of us have. I am so proud of you for trying so hard to stay positive, it isn’t easy and you are being so brave! The thing about positive thinking is that it isn’t always going to be effective when you’re in a crisis, and it sounds like that’s where you are right now. Mental illnesses take us to an illogical place, and you can’t trust the negative thoughts you have when you’re in a place like that.

Try and get yourself into a mindset where your brain is a separate entity and you have to decide how to deal with it.

You could be its carer: you need to protect this tiny, scared baby. You need to be strong for them. You know it’s going to be ok, and you’re going to cradle it and tell it that it’s alright.

If parental care isn’t your style, let yourself be mad at it; it’s trying to ruin your day and hell if you’re going to give it the satisfaction. It’s a chemical imbalance in your brain, if you could hold it in your hand you could CRUSH IT, and you are a flesh and blood human, it can’t beat you?? Give yourself an enemy to usurp, tell it to go suck a lemon! Use harsher, less PG rated words if you need to. But get angry at IT, not YOU. YOU are just trying to be a living breathing human, here. YOU’RE not at fault.

Either way, it’s so important to keep telling the illogical thoughts “NO”, and those no’s don’t need to be positive right now, they can be methodical; “it’s not practical to be thinking like this,” “I know you feel this way now, but I have to do my laundry”.

Distract yourself as best you can until you’re able to get better help; favourite light-hearted movies, games, something that will take your attention. If there are people around you that can help, let them know you need them. And I will stress that again; LET THEM KNOW. You are not a burden, they NEED to know. Here’s the script, “I am depressed and need help staying logical right now. Can you please help me?”

If you haven’t already, I urge you to see a professional as soon as you can, even your gp can prescribe something that might help. Finally making that call to get professional help/medication opened my eyes. You can live a life where you’re not in constant combat with your brain.

In an effort to get this to you as soon as possible, I’ve copy and pasted a list of helplines and message centres from @codedredalert below (so I apologise for stealing it it and that it is not something I’ve compiled myself). You ARE going to get through this. You will find your whipped cream. You BELONG here, and your life will change for the better. Don’t let your brain win. I love you.

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

Text (in case you aren’t up to making a phone call) hotline: 741-741 (Text CONNECT to begin, more info at  http://www.crisistextline.org/ )

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem) : 08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

Drinkline: 0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk

Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614

India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7

suicide hotlines;

Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430

Australia: 13-11-14

Austria: 01-713-3374

Barbados: 429-9999

Belgium: 106

Botswana: 391-1270

Brazil: 21-233-9191
China: 852-2382-0000

(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)

Costa Rica: 606-253-5439

Croatia: 01-4833-888

Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67

Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908

Denmark: 70-201-201

Egypt: 762-1602

Estonia: 6-558-088

Finland: 040-5032199

France: 01-45-39-4000

Germany: 0800-181-0721

Greece: 1018

Guatemala: 502-234-1239

Holland: 0900-0767

Honduras: 504-237-3623

Hungary: 06-80-820-111

Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
Israel: 09-8892333

Italy: 06-705-4444

Japan: 3-5286-9090

Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292

Malaysia: 03-756-8144

(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)

Mexico: 525-510-2550

Netherlands: 0900-0767

New Zealand: 4-473-9739

New Guinea: 675-326-0011

Nicaragua: 505-268-6171

Norway: 47-815-33-300

Philippines: 02-896-9191

Poland: 52-70-000

Portugal: 239-72-10-10

Puerto Rico: (787) 763-7575 OR 1-(800)-981-0023 (free of charge)

Russia: 8-20-222-82-10

Singapore: 1800-221 4444

Spain: 91-459-00-50

South Africa: 0861-322-322

South Korea: 2-715-8600

Sweden: 031-711-2400

Switzerland: 143

Taiwan: 0800-788-995

Thailand: 02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800

Ukraine: 0487-327715

Edit: fixed user mention
Dating Zach Dempsey would include...

• Lots of basketball games, where’d you’d be on the side lines holding up a cheesy sign saying “# 7 on the field # 1 in my heart.”

• Him looking and winking just as he is about to make the game winning point!

 • He’d run to you after a game through the crowd, just to get his winning kiss. “y/n!” “Oh no Zach! Get your sweaty self away from me.” You said running through the stands. But he catches you in less than a minute and envelopes you in his arm. “Caught you.” He whispers “You’re an idiot.” You say with a smile “Yes, but I’m your idiot, so it’s okay.” He says right before he kisses you. 

 • Ice cream dates, he’d smile and watch you as you ate your ice cream. “What’re you doing?” You said with a giggle, “You’re so weird.” He rolled his eyes, “is it bad that I love my girlfriend so much I can’t help but stare at her beauty?” You held out your spoon. “Oh shush and let me eat my ice cream in peace.” He leaned over and ate it as you gasped! “Zachary! How dare you?!” He chucked and winked. “Maybe next time you’ll take my compliment, so I don’t have to take you ice cream.”

•Movies at the Crestmont, where you two would sit in the back and cuddle into him.

•cuddling non stop.

•lots and lots of kisses, on your forehead, nose, lips

• You always wear his letterman jacket and it’s huge on you because your boy is a giant. “You’re tiny.” “I AM NOT.” “Y/n you are so small.” “I am average height, you fricking giant.” “Gosh you’re feisty, and you look so cute in that.” “Can I keep it.?” “No.” “But Zach…”

•he’d surprise you from behind and always make an effort to walk you to your classes. “Zach you’re gonna be late for your class.” “But I have to walk with you to class..” “I’m a big girl I can walk by myself.” “Yes, I’d rather spend time with my girl, than be in class, unless that class is Bio.”

•you and his sister are best friends, and you guys are always whispering. And he loves how good you are with her.

•his mom loving you because unlike the rest of his friends, you’re such a good influence on him. She sees the way you two love each other and can’t wait to call you her daughter-in-law

•Zach gets jealous easily, especially when you laugh at Jeff’s jokes and hang out with him. He will give you the silent treatment until you make him realize he’s the only boy for you.

“Zach, I love you. No one else” “But Jeff..” “He’s a friend, one of my very good friends and you need to stop being jealous about small things. You know i’d never leave you.” “I-I’m sorry.” You kissed his forehead. “I love you okay? Don’t forget that.”

•you play video games with him, and sometimes he lets you win, just to see you smile and jump around. “OH MY GOD. I BEAT YOU.” Zach chuckled, “yes you did.” “I BEAT ZACH DEMPSEY AT COD.. HOW IN THE WORLD.” He scoops you up in his arms, “yes you did y/n, and I’ve got a prize for you.” He says as he kisses you!

•he’s super protective, especially after hearing Bryce’s tapes, and makes sure you’re never alone with him.

•He comes to you whenever he is sad, or upset about life. And the two of you cuddle and eat lots and lots of ice cream.

•You always make fun of how he’s allergic to strawberries. “It’s kinda sad, you know? You’ll never be able to bite into a juicy strawberry.” He rolled his eyes “yes y/n I’m so sorry that the small little fruit could possibly cause me to die.” “I’m just saying it’s a shame, they’re so good.” “God, you’re so mean.”

•He loves PDA when he’s drunk, but when he’s sober, he’d rather it be more personal, just between the two of you.

•He’s never fails to make you laugh, and cracks jokes just to see your eyes light up and to see your smile grow.

•When he gets drunk, all he’s does is think about you and tell you how much he loves you, and will not stop kissing you. “My girlfriend y/n, she’s such a babe. Like damn she’s the hottest girl in the school and she’s all mine. And have I told you I love her so much.” “Zach I’m right here.” “You’re really pretty you know that.” “Oh dear Zach, how much did you drink.”

• He’s always super embarrassed after hearing what he did while drunk, and you think he’s the absolute cutest.

• Zach is so fit, and loves the gym, and half the time you joke you’re dating him just for his abs. “God you’re hot.” He looked up at you. “Well that was random.” “Like I’m definitely dating you for your abs.” “Wow y/n so superficial” “Kidding I love every little thing about you.” “Oh sweet little y/n, nothing about me is little.” “ZACH!”

•Zach leaves the weirdest compliments in your compliment bag, and you keep them all to look at whenever you need to smile.

•Justin being like another brother to you and always jokes about how you have Zach wrapped around your finger.

•Justin and Zach are so close you always joke that he’s Zach’s boyfriend. “Hi I’m y/n and this is my boyfriend Zach and his boyfriend Justin.”

• He always tells you the cheesiest science jokes, because he’s a bio nerd. “Hey y/n, are you DNA helicase cause I’d like to unzip your genes.” “You’re an idiot”

•Zach dreaming about spending the rest of his life with you and growing old, because you’re everything and more he’d ever imagine in a girl.