can you not with your face sir

“Hey, excuse me, this isn’t right, I didn’t order this,” the customer gets your attention by waving his hand in front of your face.
“I’m sorry, what did you order?”
“Well, this but without the bun.”
“Okay, do you think maybe you can take the bun off, or do you need a new one?”
“Take it back, I want a new one.”
“Not a problem sir,” you force a smile and go back to the kitchen with the plate.
“He wants the bun taken off,” you say to the chef.
“He couldn’t do that himself?”
“Apparently not. Too much effort,” you say, rolling your eyes. The chef laughs and you got back out to serve the man again.
“There you go sir, hope this is better,” you smile and walk away, hearing him call you names as you do. This pretty much summed up your shift, full of assholes and not a break between them. You were glad to finally hang up your apron and go home, practically running out of the door to your car and speeding down the road. Opening the door to the apartment, you throw your keys on the table in the hallway and sigh deeply as you kick the door shut.
“How was your shift?” Norman calls out to you as you take your shoes off. You walk into the kitchen and the look on your face says it all.
“Oh no. That bad?” He says, pulling a sad face and kissing you on the forehead.
“Worse,” you sigh, leaning your forehead on his chest.
“Poor baby. Do you want something to eat?” He offers, rubbing his hands up and down your back protectively.
“Yes please,” you nod, lifting your head up and seeing what he was cooking. It was a pasta dish with mushroom sauce and you licked your lips looking at the pots on the hobs.
“Go and get your pyjamas on then, and I’ll dish this up,” he says, kissing you again on the head. You do as he says and head to the bedroom to change. It was a bit of a pain working late shifts, but as you both had odd sleeping patterns it seemed to work out well. Coming back out into the kitchen in your pyjamas, you see the food sitting on the counter ready for you. You sit on the bar stool and start shovelling it in your mouth, eager to fill your belly.
“Woah, slow down there, I’m not going to steal it!” Norman laughs.
“I’m just super hungry,” you say with a mouthful of pasta. He smiles and looks back down to his plate as you carry on eating. Once finished you wash up the dishes and join Norman on the sofa to watch a bit of telly before bed.
“Feeling better?” He asks as you plonk down next to him.
“A bit,” you smile. He scrolls through the channels and lands on a film. You sit there and keep thinking back to the rude customers from earlier, making yourself worse. Norman looks over at you and can tell you’re tense. He knows how much you over think things, and knows that you’ll be sitting there mulling it over. He slides off of the sofa onto the floor, then kneels up between your legs. You snap out of your thoughts and look at him confused.
“What are you-?”
“Shhh,” he whispers, placing a finger over his mouth. Your eyes go wide as he starts to shimmy your shorts and panties down, and you lift your bum up to help. He slides them off of your legs and throws them to one side, then puts his hands on your knees and pushes them apart. He looks at your pussy, licking his lips, then pulls your hips towards the edge of the sofa. His eyes meet yours, then he dips his head between your legs, sticks out his tongue and slowly trails it up your folds to your clit.
“Ohh,” you moan, eyes rolling into the back of your head, hands resting in his hair. He does it again, except faster this time, then inserts his tongue inside you, moving it up and down and side to side, lapping at your walls. You instinctively clench around him and he then pumps it in and out of you. Your hips move forward more, almost off the edge of the sofa, and he takes his tongue out, spreading your juice up your folds. His attention turns to your clit, flicking over it again and again, then he pushes two fingers inside you, curling them round as they thrust in and out quickly.
“Norm,” you exhale as your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling his face further into your pussy. He nips and sucks at your clit, making your thighs start to tremble as your orgasm builds. After a few more flicks of his tongue, you let go over his fingers, his face buried in you as he helps you ride out your high.
“Shit,” you breathe, watching him lick his fingers as he takes them out of you, “what was that for?”
“I just want to make you feel better,” he whispers, kissing your mound, then your hips, then your stomach.
“You’ve definitely done that,” you sigh, stroking his hair.
“Oh I’m not done yet,” he laughs against your skin. He moves up your body, planting his lips on yours and grinding into your hips. Suddenly he pulls away then grabs your legs and lifts you up onto his shoulder as you squeal with excitement. He throws you playfully onto the bed and you giggle, kicking your legs out. His hands grip your legs, stopping them from moving, then he pins them down to the bed and crawls on top of you, his forearms resting either side of you head.
“I love you,” he whispers before kissing your neck.
“I love you too,” you exhale, your skin now on fire as he sucks at it. He takes one hand and pushes his shorts down, then slides inside you slowly.
“Norman, oh,” you moan, eyes shut tightly. His lips move up to your jaw, leaving kisses all the way along it, then attaching himself to your lips again as he thrusts in and out of you painfully slow. Your hands land on his ass, gripping his skin and pulling him against you, making him go deeper. You lift your hips to make him start hitting your clit as he pumps, and he groans into your chest. He makes love to you slowly, hitting deep and hard rather than fast, his mouth on your chest, alternating between your breasts where he sucks and bites your nipples. Your climax starts to build slowly, your legs tightening around his waist as he holds himself inside you a bit longer each time. Finally you release, panting heavily as he carries on, eventually letting go inside you, biting down on your neck as you both ride your highs out. He looks up at you, both your bodies beaded with sweat, mouths open as you catch your breath, and smiles lovingly, wiping the hair away from your face. You smile back, both wordlessly communicating just how much you love each other.

@negan-dixon
@sapphire1727
@jodiereedus22
@reedusteinrambles
@blondielovesr5-blog
@whovianwalker1999
@cbarter
@dixonreedusfangirlforever
@coffeebooksandfandom
@serfyan18
@kjs1939
@teamrick
@princessxpunk
@addiction-survivor25
@dixon-daryl
@aquivercactus

100 Prompts That Will Make You Cry: Part 1

Unfortunately, my amigos, we managed to come up with 100 prompts. Here’s part 1:

  1. You’re a ghost haunting your own funeral. You see that nobody showed up.
  2. What are these strangers doing in your house? You’re confused and angry, it’s been a week and it seems like they’re not leaving, they’re not even paying attention to you. You’re the ghost haunting your house without knowing it.
  3. A single man and dog run the Iditarod only to show up with the medicine for his daughter too late. This is his story.
  4. You fight for a noble cause. You complete all the necessary steps. You reach the top of the world doing good deeds to improve peoples lives. It’s your first day of retirement and you watch your hard work comes undone before your eyes.
  5. “You can’t understand how it is to feel this worthless. I just want it all to go away! I want it all to STOP!”
  6. Despite everything they did, everything they went through. It was made clear that their attempts were pointless, as they were too late to save them.
  7. The only thing left for you to do was to leave forever
  8. You didn’t visit your parent figure in hospital the day before they passed away because you wanted to finish your homework. Less than 24 hours later, you get a message from your sibling. “They passed away this morning.”
  9. No matter how hard you try, they just laugh at you. You are a joke, a game, you don’t matter. You’ve had enough.
  10. “Robert, you can’t just leave! There are fifty kids waiting for you! You promised you’d get us out alive. You told them so!” “No, darling, I promised I’d get us out alive. Us, being me and my 500 grand. Thanks for your help, by the way. Sorry about the boiled alive thing. Chao!”
  11. Why did you leave me? It’s been 15 years. Why did you leave? I can’t just accept the fact that you showed up on my doorstep expecting an apology. I have a family now. And I can’t let you pull me into your problems.
  12. Your school, company, or organisation has required you to go to therapy for a potentially traumatic incident. This is the session when you decide to tell the story of becoming estranged from your last living relative.
  13. You can only watch the live news helplessly as, thousands of miles away, an tsunami happens in the country your best friend happens to be visiting
  14. “My head is full of you but my arms are empty.”
  15. Best Friends Forever", we used to say. But now we aren’t even talking anymore. When I see them anywhere, another person is by their side, a new best friend. And I, I am all alone.
  16. Person A shares something that no one knew about them and it is very personal and then they get outcasted by their family and person B is the only one to support them as they cry.
  17. The fire was pretty, swirling in shades of blue and green and purple, if you could ignore the fact it was destroying the planet.
  18. A crying child in the hospital bed looks to you for answers. She wants to know where her mommy is. You have no answer.
  19. “I cannot take it anymore, Sam. You don’t tell me anything, you’ve been disappearing for hours, you have phone calls you don’t want me to hear, and now you forgot our anniversary. I’m done being patient. I have packed my things, you can keep the car and the house. Goodbye.” A small box fell out of his fingers, and a ring with a diamond shining merrily on the band rolled away, as the phone stopped playing out the voicemail.
  20. You unlock your phone, and, ignoring the shaking of your hand, answer the call. “Hey” you say, not even trying to compress the wound, too far gone as you already are, “no, i’m fine. I’ll be with you in a minute or two…”
  21. I knew it would be there, I saved for this special occasion. It was my deserved reward after a shitty day and it was gone. The cupcake was gone.
  22. it was finally summer, his favorite season. He sat up in his bed and told you all about what he did last year. He rode his bike everywhere, he played so many games with his friends, he swam in the town park pool… you were the doctor, and you had come in to bring his parents out of the room to talk to them about how the cancer had spread unexpectedly.
  23. You’ve just had an unpleasant lunch with your family and one of your siblings has just told you that you’ve been horrible the entire meal. What now?
  24. Your mom starts crying
  25. you walk down the street and you see a familiar face. Your heart starts beating faster and you speed up, because Gosh, you haven’t seen them in the longest time, but then as you are about to reach them and scream their name, you suddenly stop because remember that it can’t be them because you’re now on the other side of the world, and you left the person you love far away….
  26. It’s your grandfather’ funeral. The place is packed, he was loved by so many. Then, a small child puts a cup of coffee by his ashes.. (“Have this grandpa, it’s time to wake up”)
  27. The person you love has to be killed in order to save other people. Their death guarantees the others’ safety and it is the right thing to do, and they want to do it, but you have to kill them. So you do.
  28. you have the power to bring back the dead. You quickly realize that this comes with draw-backs since certain parts of them stay dead. someone close to you had an accident and this is the most difficult decision of your life.
  29. the smallest coffins are the heaviest.
  30. Her answer is to gently cup your face with trembling hands. Her smile is gentle and so, so sad. Her breathy whisper reaches your ears, “because love is watching someone die,” and shatters your world.
  31. It had always been her. From the first day you saw her, you knew that she was the one, the one you wanted to spend your entire life with. Day by day, that future became a little more solid, a little more opaque. Until you watched it shrivel, collapse and die when strangers pulled a frail, familiar body out of the wreck.
  32. you wake up to silence, except for the sound of quiet sobbing and a set of packed suitcases in the hall.
  33. “I’m going to… take a nap… just for a minute. I’ll be… right back.” He lies down just where he sat. “Could you… hold my hand?”, he asks of her. She moves carefully around the table, as not to disrupt the game that they will certainly continue. He rests his head on her knees. “Are you there?”, he asks. “Yes, I’m here.” He holds her hand tighter. “Are you there?”, he asks, slowly his voice getting quieter and weaker….
  34. You and your family were in a car crash. You think you’ve survived but in the hospital you found you’ve died and you watch your parents, your SO, your children and your friends mourn. You don’t leave earth. You remain there watching over your loved ones, but when they die, they don’t join you. You are by yourself forever.
  35. Driving home, you hit something. Getting out, you realize it’s your pet who went missing a few months ago
  36. Using the word ‘almost’ is the most melancholic way to describe an upsetting moment. She almost got there in time. He almost caught her. She almost told her. They almost made it.
  37. You realise animals no longer acknowledge your existence. They can’t seem to see or hear you. Your best friend is your dog.
  38. “I’ll never be perfect in my parents’ eyes no matter what I do.”
  39. When you were 7, you were kidnapped when for 15 years. At the age of 22, you are finally rescued. Write about your time held in captivity and what it was like when you were saved.
  40. Time and time again, the prompt guy refuses my Danny DeVito suggestions
  41. “You’re the worst teacher I ever had, but I don’t want you to leave, because you were also the best, in a way.”
  42. after always feeling like you were never wanted around, someone decided to tell you how you felt is exactly right. and now you have a fire in your heart you’ve decided to do something about it.
  43. He was supposed to protect me. Instead he became the one I needed protection from.
  44. “We’ll be finally be able to be together. Just one more year. Then we can finally be happy.” That was the last thing you said to your lover before going back off to war. Now you find yourself in an empty house, holding one last letter addressed to you and the memories of a lifetime of unfulfilled promises.
  45. I’m not sure which was worse: keeping it a secret for so many years, or the look on my mom’s face when I told her.
  46. you moved in a new town a few months ago. One of your friend tells you that he heard your best friend say “There’s no point staying in touch, we won’t see each other ever again.”
  47. “I’m sorry sir, but we’re all out of chicken nuggets.”
  48. You are a stray dog. Your master lost you 3 years ago. You go on an epic and heart-filled journey to find your master, not knowing that they are already dead.
  49. It was the first time your parents said the word proud in relation to you, but you could just feel that was nothing more than a backhanded compliment. It only made you feel terrible.
  50. After five years, they were finally back together. But time had torn them apart and as much as they tried, they were unable to love each other again.
  51. The dark and dreary realisation finally hit you: You’re the one in the coffin. This is your funeral. All these people are upset and crying over you.
  52. The war had been ravaging the country for years. You fought for your country, you shed your blood, you did your part. And yet a mistake is going to be your undoing. Write your last letter before your execution to a daughter you will never come back to.
  53. Your siblings played a game with you, it was called “Who can ignore you the most”. But it’s okay, you knew they love you, because there was still food on the table, and bedtime was still shared in the same room. It’s been years, you’re in the worst time of your life now, and you feel the need to reach out for help. You hope the game is over by now.
  54. You’ve been messaging someone online for years now, chatting with them about this and that every so often. They stopped logging on a month ago. You have no way of knowing if they’re okay, and can only watch and wait for a reply.
  55. You read a late familiar’s diary from decades ago. You knew nothing about them before this moment.Their insight in life is what you need to solve your problems, and your insight could have helped save their life.
  56. “I am so tired.” She whispered to him, inches away from jumping of that bridge.
  57. Every time your father leaves for work, you wonder if he’s going to die. You make sure to say “i love you” every day before he goes, but one day you forget…
  58. you’re the last member of your species, your culture, your language. Scientists are around you, waiting for every bit that you can share, for them to document. They don’t care about you. Although you’re surrounded by people, you’re alone.
  59. your idol, a vegetarian, was forcefully fed a hotdog
  60. Write about the small and big sacrifices mothers make for their children.
  61. You are trapped in a “coma” can hear everything around you, including friends and family coming to say goodbye before your life-support is taken away due to lack of insurance. They can’t prove you aren’t brain dead. You can’t say goodbye back.
  62. “The monsters won’t come and hurt me will they daddy?” “As long as I’m around,” he said, giving you a goodnight kiss. “No one will ever hurt you.” “You’ll come home right? Promise?” “I Promise.” But he failed to keep his promise. He never came home and the monsters got you after all.
  63. Tell the story of someone who goes about daily life, well, tries to anyway. It’s hard for them because they had severe depression. Tell of their struggles and trials. But also tell of their successes.
  64. For Sale: Baby Shoes. Never worn.
  65. you’re the last person in the world and you just lost hope for finding anyone else
  66. You went on a great quest with your friends. You slayed monsters together, fended off enemies, and overcame all challenges that came your way. However, your friends perished at the final boss. You’ve just defeated him, and the reality is sinking in.
  67. You are the new Death. The torch has been passed down to you for reasons you don’t know. It is now your job to take the lives of those whose time is up, old or young. Are you prepared to do it? And why were you chosen?
  68. You have become immortal through a game that destroyed your universe. You and and your friends recreated the universe. You remember, they do not. The big bad from the game haunts your dreams.
  69. You wake up and smell something burning. You think someone is making breakfast. You get up to see your house is on fire and you’re the only survivor.
  70. As the crowd around you cheers for your brother’s assassin, you hold him in your arms as you watch his life fade. He was the most hated man in the world, a brutal dictator, a tyrant worse than your father ever was. He was the very kind of man who you hated yourself. Yet you’re crying, looking down upon his smiling face as he watches the crowd and his killer in his final moments, because in the end this was what he promised you. He promised to make a world where no one would have to fight anymore, where there can be peace. And now that the most hated man is dead, there can be.
  71. After a long fulfilling life, you find yourself in the past, at the lowest point of your life. Your family is gone, your friends don’t know who you are, and you’re left with nothing. What do you do?
  72. there’s no pizza in the fridge
  73. You love children and plan to have some one day, until you find out at a doctors appointment that you are infertile…
  74. It’s the effort that counts but it’s the result that’s remembered. Write a story about someone who spent years devoted to their passion but their efforts remain unrecognised, unappreciated because they were ultimately unsuccessful, even after death.
  75. “…you never really loved me, did you.” and the silence said it all
  76. you are a dog going into the vet. You have no idea why your owner is crying. You have no idea that it’s your last visit.
  77. Your parents just told you that they’re getting a divorce.
  78. Your best friend/SO has wronged the gods and has 24 hours to live. You can trade your life for theirs by putting your essence by the mercy of the gods. What do you do?
  79. he spat angrily as he raised what remained of his son “I NEVER LOVED YOU”
  80. write a story where you build up to one character’s death. In the end, that character survives, but another character dies instead.
  81. You are a time traveler, but you never knew it. The only time you successfully did it was when you were a baby, and you’ve grown up a long time away from your original life. One day, you find a shrine… Dedicated to you, by your original family.
  82. You sat across from them at the table, and realized that you had both run out of things to say to each other.
  83. Write a story about an adventurous character who somehow survives all the trouble they get into. These are the memories of an old person, as they remember what they did, with a week of less left before their last breath.
  84. Everyone else had moved on further. You have missed your opportunity to move along with them, and you are the only one left behind in the gray lands. All because of your most annoying habit
  85. “But I rescued you from-” “You killed the dragon! You killed my best friend!”
  86. When you were little, you lost your parents in a house fire. Now, you’ve found out that you have the power to control fire, and are starting to suspect that the fire that killed your parents wasn’t a cooking accident after all..
  87. You spent the past 10 minutes walking back and forth from the lobby to the dance floor in search of them, worrying your ass off. They finally decide to come out and they curse at you for ruining their night.
  88. It was horrible, a pain unbearable to you, the feeling of your soulmate breaking down. The person you once loved, now shattered and scarred from trauma. The worst of part of it, you were helpless. All you could do was sit and watch, but you’d get your revenge. On Death himself.
  89. Your maths teacher gives you a school detention despite the fact that you are 110% innocent of everything you’ve been accused of.   You are forced to stare at a wall for half an hour in silence to think about ‘what you’ve done.’  What happens now?
  90. You confess to your parents about your depression and suicidal thoughts, but they just shrug it off as you being over dramatic. Months later and the sight of your parents still hurts you deep inside, because they never understood you.
  91. You’re in love with your coworker, who’s married and has two kids. He’s quitting job today. He tells you that he loves you.
  92. You’re in a room full of onions.
  93. You’re just about to start your period and you’ve been craving Chinese food all week. You finally get said Chinese food, get home, pull it out of the bag and drop it. You start scream-crying, and your family runs into the room to check on you. What happens next?
  94. Your daughter has been bullied ever since she’s started school due to the fact that you aren’t the richest of families in a pretty nice neighborhood. When she begs you to buy her a doll everybody likes, you know you won’t be able to afford it.
  95. You hide in your room and clutch a pillow, listening to the abusive language your family members through at each other. You hear your youngest sibling being physically abused again, and his screams echo throughout the house.
  96. “We found cancerous tissue. I’m sorry.” “What a way to start my first day of college.” (comment: this actually happened to me, I was diagnosed with cancer my first day of college)
  97. An old man is on his death bed, riddled with dementia.  Volunteering for the elderly with no family left, you visit, but he mistakes you for son or daughter.
  98. I looked in the mirror and realized who was staring back. It was someone I wasn’t content with.
  99. Write a story through the perspective of an abused cat on their 9th life.
  100. Tell a story about a person who never appears in photographs because they were always behind the camera, looking wistfully at everyone’s smiling faces. It is only after they’re long gone that someone finally notices. Old memories are brought up.
Prints

Summary: You and Sam leave your mark on the Impala.

Word Count: 2300

Warning: Smut, dom!Sam, dirty talk

A/N: Just something that happened. Enjoy! XOXO

“Is that a foot? Is there a footprint on the window?” Dean glares at the window through the rearview mirror, and you shift a little in the backseat to avoid his gaze.

It’s foggy and damp out, exactly the kind of weather that makes the windows fog up no matter what you do, and the three of you are piled in, ready for your next adventure.

Except there’s a footprint on Dean’s precious car.

And you know exactly where it came from.

Keep reading

4

his smile is most naïve
cheerful and good-natured
and he’s as handome up close as at a distance

9

So, I bought a kind of a miniature dragon for my Dragonknight, and immediately ended up sketching like 3-4 pages worth of silly doodles about their interactions. So here: the adventures of Davius and Snek.

I can’t believe I actually took time to color and shade all these. o_o Ah well, good practice to ensure that my new system works properly.

Yes, Sir // A Mitch Rapp Smut

Collab With The One And Only @stilinski-jpeg

Relationship: Mitch Rapp x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Violence (like seriously some crazy shit goes down), Oral (69), Fingering, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation, Unprotected Sex, Rough Sex, Choking, and Swearing.

Word Count: 9,859 

Song: Young God by Halsey

A/N: Hey guys! Welcome to day 2 of #MitchWeek! Yes, this smut is completely inspired by that bathtub scene from the trailer. I came up with this idea and immediately told Nia about it to which she said and I quote “if you don’t write this, I will.” And so we decided to turn it into a collab! I hope you guys love how intense this is as much as we do. We really felt no need to hold back.

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Mitch snarled at Stan Hurley as the pair walked down the long hallway.

“If anyone needs a babysitter, it’s you.” Stan chuckled at his least favourite trainee’s expense.

Keep reading

I was at a con recently. And while looking at some of the art, I made a comment to a guy who had a collection of cat avengers prints that he was missing the best avenger. So he goes, ‘oh and who is that’ and I just kinda look sideways at him and say 'hawkeye, the only one you don’t have’. To wich he of course smirks and says 'is he really the best or is it just cause of jeremy renner?’

First of all… Jeremy Renner is a gorgeous human being and he is more than enough reason for Hawkeye to be awesome, so why the hell you got that smug look on your face like I’m just some random ass fangirl who don’t know shit about comics. I was fuckin dressed like Captain Marvel, 100% comic accurate costume thank you very much.

So my dad starts laughing cause he can see I got my 'fight me’ face on. And I proceed to list each and every reason why I have loved Hawkeye since waaaaay before the movies and why he gets even better with new movies and comics.

NUMBER ONE, he is the only fully human Avenger in every single story line.

To which of course I get 'well what about Black Widow’ well sir you must not know your comics very well because in the Earth-616 universe she has the Red Room version of the super soldier serum which gives her enhanced physical abilities as well as a very long lifespan.

Then comes the 'well Scott Lang is human’ well yeah but he’s got a mother FuCkiNG SUPER SUIT. What does Hawkeye have? Spandex or leather, not quite the same thing. And you take away that super suit, is Scott still a super hero? No he is in jail for being a thief. You take away Hawkeye ’ super sui… oh wait that’s right HE DON’T GOT ONE.

'But what about Black Panther he is human right?’ Do you know anything about comics dude? The dude eats a magical plant and is gifted his powers by the Wakandan Panther God and has enhanced speed, strength, agility, healing, reflexes, stamina, etc. NOT FULLY HUMAN he also is proclaimed King of the Dead and is granted the power and knowledge of past Black Panthers and gains the ability to control the dead… so awesome but still not human.

Hawkeye is 100% human 100% of the time (except a very brief moment when he borrowed pym particles just to help out on a mission) and still manages to keep up with super humans, gods and guys with fancy super suits.

NUMBER TWO, he is deaf, canononically.

'Well Daredevil is blind’ his accident enhanced his other senses… and not an Avenger… so your argument is not even relevant.

NUMBER THREE, he shoots a bow, usually a recurve, in battle with people that have magic and laser guns and other shit and he can shoot it with out even looking!

'But he has trick arrows’ wich are guaranteed to be weighted terribly and that weight changes depending on which arrow it is. So he not only has to compensate for the strange weight but he has to do it on the fly in the heat of battle for each individual arrow. Not to mention when he shoots multiple at once.

And come on, have you ever tried to shoot a bow and arrow, it’s not easy. It takes a lot of practice patients and skill. Especially to get as good as him.

NUMBER FOUR, I mean have you read the guys backstory? If you looked up tragic backstory in the dictionary, you would see a picture of Clint Barton. He was orphaned after his abusive father got into a car accident that killed his mother as well. Was sent to a children’s home, ran away to the circus, was trained by Swordsman and Trickshot who were not the best mentors, was betrayed and abandoned by Swordsman and his brother and left for dead, ended up severely injuring his brother, had to leave Trickshot, when he tried to do the hero thing he was mistaken for a criminal, was manipulated into trying to kill Iron Man, kept falling in love with women who didn’t love him back, left the Avengers at one point believing he was unwanted, was passed over because he was not super human, watched his brother die, was forced to leave the Avengers, had a bounty put on his right arm, lost former mentor Trickshot to cancer, split with his wife then watched her die saving him, sacrificed himself and came back, was almost assasinated, went to prison so the rest of his team could go free, was shot and conducted a suicide mission that saved the planet but killed him, lost his memory, was vanished into nothingness, doubted he was himself or even alive, faked his death, and that’s just the short list.

NUMBER FIVE, he ran the West Coast branch of the Avengers, as well as other treams.

NUMBER SIX, he took on the mantle of Captain America for a short time.

NUMBER SEVEN, Caw Caw Mother Fucker.

So yeah, suffice to say that I left the guy speechless surounded by his friends who were nodding along and adding in their own bits of info and laughing hysterically at him. I turned to walk away after that mic drop and heard him mumble, 'well I guess I’m making a cat hawkeye’

anonymous asked:

If Harry uses hair ties, does he always lose them like the rest of us? And, do you think someone came up with the idea to just "accio hair ties" and is bombarded with years worth of Harry's missing hair ties?

I just had this image of Harry getting really stressful on work and a very brave young female auror asks “is everything alright sir?” And he just goes “i lost something” with a grumpy face. suddenly he sees it.
“Where did you find this hair tie?”
“Er… Why, Mr. Potter?”
“It’s pink”
“Sir? I’ve found it on the floor during training today. Sorry, but i don’t understand”
“Please leave.”

Later at home
“Gin, honey. So remember that lucky charm of yours”
“The symbol of our love that you decided to use during my important matches so you can send me good luck, yes I remember quite well. it was the most romantic thing you have ever done to me.”
“I lost it”
“Have you tried accio?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“How’s not that simple? It’s a hair tie”
“It’s with another… woman. Accidentally. But I will get it back, I just need a plan.”
“…”
“…”
“It’s ok sweetie, i trust you.”

Ginny never calls him “sweetie”.

Next morning someone enters his office. It’s Ginny. Harry jumps with a what the fuck omg it’s my wife, I’m dead again face. she wants to know if he got the hair tie back because that thing was really fucking important to her. The female auror appears on her sight. Ginny sees her old hair tie on that blonde hair.

Harry knows his wife very well.

“You won’t do this. Gin you shouldn’t be here- shit”

“Excuse me. Hi. I’m Ginn”
“Omg you’re Ginny Potter!! I’m such a fan! Would you mind signing my shirt?? And can I ask for an advice…”

Later that night at bed
“You’re right, it’s not that simple”
“I told you.”

and they discuss plans to get the hair tie back during all night harry can’t even concentrate to have sex and I’ve just written the first episode of How I Hexed Your Father, the name will be The One With The Hair Tie

Just Following Orders, Sir - Mitch Rapp

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Mitch Rapp/Reader

Word Count: 11,985

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Oral (both receiving), Multiple Orgasms, Shower Sex, Teasing, Death of bad guys, Sir, Squirting, Voyeurism, Boob Job

Notes: I know this is long overdue, but the word count makes up for it right? I got delayed because of Howler Con (I lost 3 says yo). I hope you guys like this. I liked this idea a lot actually.

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Hamilton things (Act 1)
  • those chills you get when they say “and Alex got better but his mother went quick” 
  • the genius that is “Aaron Burr, Sir”
  • lafayette aka the love of my life
  • lafayette’s verse in my shot. Like damn.
  • "I heard your mother say come again”
  • “if you stand for nothing burr, what’ll you fall for?“
  • "I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory”
  • "ah, so you’ve discussed me? I’m a trust fund baby you can trust me.“
  • eliza??? Just??? The love of my life??
  • "it’s hard to listen to you with a straight face” in farmer refuted.
  • Jonathan Groff in general in this entire damn play because I adore that goof and will protect him with my life.
  • The end of “right hand man”, right at the climax of the song. Pure genius, honestly.
  • “We’re reliable with the ladies. THERE ARE SO MANY TO DEFLOWER”
  • “Is it a question of if, Burr, or which one?”
  • “As long as i’m alive Eliza, I swear to god you’ll never feel so-,” his voice?? when he says this?? my sexuality.
  • Satisfied. Just. Ugh. Angelica Schuyler is the reason I live and breathe. 
  • “The Story Of Tonight Reprise” Because honestly its so funny like the “oh shit” alexander says. iconic.
  • love/death/life doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints
  • that “chicka blah” noise that multiple characters make in multiple songs. hamilton does it in stay alive.
  • “I’M A GENERAL WHEEEE”
  • hamilton and laurens being total otp, honestly.
  • “Ten Duel Commandments” in general but more specifically “pray that hell or heaven lets you in”
  • “call me son one more time”
  • everything Lafayette in “Guns and Ships” 
  • did i mention Lafayette???
  • “Immigrants, we get the job done” just. ugh. i love.
  • “when you knock me down I get the fuck back up again” and all of that instrumental shit afterwards because it’s honestly what I live for.
  • that cheeky “awesome, wow” in what comes next
  • Dear Theodosia was literally written about Lin’s dog because he wrote it before children were even in the picture and I think that’s honestly the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard.
  • “and i thought i was so smart” 
  • the way he says “i was chosen for the constitutional convention” in non-stop
  • those chills when they say “HAMILTON WROTE THE OTHER FIFTY-ONE”
Pain Fades [Wade Wilson x Reader]

Requested by anon: “Could you do a soulmate au with deadpool where you feel your soulmates pain and they meet after he gets cancer and has the healing ability and he meets her and apologizes about all the pain”

A/N: Hope you love this anon! I tried to get some humor in there lol.

_______

Let’s talk about soulmates. That one significant person that’s supposed to have been designed to be your perfect match. They’re supposed to know everything about you, even the amount of pain you suffered, that’s because they felt it too. Every broken bone to papercut.

So the idea of meeting his soulmate made Wade’s skin crawl everything he went through, and of his own volition. How could he face you? Putting you through every needle puncture. He did everything he could to avoid his soulmate, if someone so what as flinched around him when he felt any sort of pain he got out of there fast.

But fate has a way of doing it’s job.

Wade was walking down a cold damp sidewalk. His hood was pulled over his head, protecting him from the cold rain and the stares from passersby. By the time he reached his location his hood was soaked with rain, but the chill didn’t really bother him. After everything he’s been through, cold was the last thing he felt.

Reaching the door to his location he entered a small tucked away coffee shop. A diamond in the rough if one will. It had good coffee but many people didn’t know about it, making it perfect. When he came in he sat at a table in the corner, avoiding the eyes of the other patrons.

He knew every worker in this place. So when he heard an unfamiliar voice and laugh he couldn’t help but look up. He saw you behind the counter laughing at a joke one of your co-workers had made. Countering it with one of your own, making Wade chuckle.

Noticing you look over, he watched as you grab a pen and order pad before walking from behind the counter.

He ducked his head and pulled his hood further over his face.

“Hello Sir, I’m [F/n]. Is there anything I can get you today?” You asked in a friendly tone. A smile crossing your face.

Wade didn’t pick up his head just answered with a simple order of black coffee. Black as his soul to be exact, making a laugh escape from your throat and him to allow a smile.

He peeked up after you left, watching you walk back to the counter. He found you rather attractive, but you’d never go for someone as disfigured and unappealing as him.

He ducked his head again when you returned with the cup of coffee. “Will there be anything else for you sir?” Asking with the same cheery tone.

“Um, no this is fine.” He nodded.

Taking a sip he immediately recoiled, “Fuck that’s hot” you both said in unison. His eyes widened and he looked up at you. Seeing you holding your lip the same place he was burned.

“Oh my god” you muttered in disbelief. Wade immediately got self conscious and pulled at his hood to cover his head more. “No, not that” you said stopping him, allow him to take the hood off.

Looking back at the counter before sitting across from him. He just stared at you, “I guess we’re soulmates” smiling at him.

“I-I guess so” his stare never ceasing. “I’m sorry. I uh. For everything, you felt everything. I’m so sorry I never wanted to inflict that kind of pain on you and now you’re stuck with some disfigured t-Rex for a soulmate” he apologized profusely.

You shook your head, “You mean your skin? That doesn’t bother me.” Smiling comfortingly at him.

“What?”

You nodded, “You see, my brother used to be a firefighter. But he got caught in a fire helping when he was off duty. Not having any of his gear ended with him having severe burns. I-I guess because of that and the way his wife accepts him and everyone accepts him, makes it not really bother me. I find you extremely handsome…” Pausing where a name would be.

Shaking off his stunned expression he said “Wade Wilson”

You smiled “Wade. I’m [F/n] [L/n]”

He smiled at you. “You really don’t mind being with me.”

Nodding you answered “Well I guess I have a thing for T-Rex’s” chuckling.

Laughing he said, “Yup, I guess so. You do know, all dinosaurs feared the T-Rex” making you laugh. “I’ve said that in a movie before” he nodded (Warning: mind the fourth wall).

“Oh really? Well I guess I’m talking to a movie star”

He chuckled “You have no idea” *winks at audience*

It Takes An Accident- Pietro x Reader

Authors notes: I have never done a Soulmate AU so I hope this is okay. Thanks for the request Anon. Also, I dished this out this morning and did not read it over and over like I usually do to edit fics so, sorry for any mistakes. Also, also, I don’t do science so I hope the number thing makes sense.

Prompt: I have a request (no rush) if you write Pietro could you write a soulmate mark one? Pietro or reader has their mark in a hard to see place so one doesn’t what to look for, but the other has it on a visible spot. .. Am I making sense I’m not sure XD

 Notes/Warnings: I cant really think of anything but maybe adrenaline rush, flying, falling, crashing.

Originally posted by heartstacey

 You hate it.

 Its dark and it hurt when it burned into your skin. On the plus side, its on the the back of your hip so, no one can see the deep red numbers that sat raised slightly above the rest of your skin. They looked like scars, lifted with a slight shine to them. The thing that bothered you about all this soulmate nonsense was the fast that it was so unclear.

 For some people their numbers were a date, for some a location, and others, a time. Then, there were the extremely rare ones who got letters, initials or even an actual name. You however were stuck with numbers, so there was no way of knowing what yours meant.

 The number was too short to be a date or location. So, what did 894 mean? Screw it, you didn’t care. With your luck, you probably wouldn’t even meet your soulmate, it’s known to happen to some people.

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Misguided Texts Part 2 // A Dylan O’Brien Smut

Part One

Relationship: Dylan O’Brien x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Oral (Male on Female), Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Fingering, Public Sexish, and Swearing.

Word Count: 3,311

Song: Earned it by The Weeknd 

A/N: After the overwhelming amount of requests, here you have it y’all! I hope you guys like this, it’s very explicit and detailed much like part one. Also, thank you to @stilinski-jpeg for proofreading this. 

PSA: Here’s the black widow scene playing out in case you’re confused.

Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since the hotel room incident and Dylan hasn’t done a single thing about it. My phone has never received another text from him nor did he ever talk about it with me again. The topic was completely avoided when we were together, but I certainly didn’t miss the other signs he was giving me. What with the knowing glances, the winks, the smirks, the lingering touches on my arm that aren’t necessary, the way he stares at my lips whenever I talk to him as he licks his own. I knew exactly what he was doing…

Dylan was fucking teasing me. And the worst part? It’s actually working.

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Rotten Judgement - part 2

AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Hercules!AU After selling your soul to save your lover’s life, you become one of the Lord of the Underworld’s slave. Bucky is obsessed with one thing: collecting hearts. But why?

Word Count:1,630

Warnings: Language, Angst, Slaves, Demonic creatures, Mythology , Attempt Assault 

A/N: Seriously guys, thank you so much for the nice feedback. I hope I tagged everyone, sorry if I didn’t :/ (As usual some quotes from the movie)

“I know who you work for,” Brock Rumlow, notorious human trash bag, hissed as he pinned you with the weight of his body against a brick wall.

He put his big, calloused hand around your throat and tightened his grip until you were gasping for air. You tried to pull yourself free, but your hands were trapped behind your back. He was breathing so close to your face that you could feel his clammy breath on your skin.

In hindsight, you should have known that Rumlow wasn’t going to be easy an easy target. He was a murderer and a thief, he probably didn’t even have a heart. Your targets were usually old people or horny men, this was a first and you couldn’t understand why Bucky needed his heart. It was most likely all black and corrupted.

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Headcanons - Gorillaz at the mall

○ When using public restrooms, Russel is the kind of person who doesn’t want to touch anything and tries to use everything from soap dispensers to hand dryers with the back of his hands.

○ Noodle and 2D go shopping for videogames and makeup together.

○ 2D tries on lipsticks just for fun. Directly from the tester.
Sometimes he’ll even paint his nails and just walk out the store without buying anything.

○ 2D usually asks a lot of questions about products only to get distracted in the middle of the explanation and just walk away.

○ If there’s a shopping cart involved, Noodle’s sitting in it.
“Russel: Noodle please I don’t know where to put groceries-
Noodle: not my problem I’m the caRT QUEEN”

○ Noodle and Murdoc like to stand next to mannequins in store windows to see how long it takes before someone notices.

○ 2D will start any toy that has the “try me!” sign, raising hell in the toys aisle.

○ Murdoc pulls faces at the security camera.

○ Russel spends hours putting back stuff that was picked up and then abandoned on random shelves because he thinks it’s crazy disrespectful towards clerks.

○ “Ugh, do they have to put that Frozen shit on everything? Even milk bottles now?”
“You can get a regular one without any Disney princess on it, Murdoc.”
“No I want the Frozen one.”

○ Russel. Noodle. Kiddie rides.
Old grandpa Murdoc sits nearby pretending he doesn’t know them.

○ “I was wondering: if I were to grow a beard like yours would it turn out blue or-”
“Sir please, Santa’s here just for the kids, I’m going to have to ask you to get off his lap and leave”

(Edit: if you have suggestions for other scenarios do tell me!)

anonymous asked:

would it be too rude to ask for more lance and pidge headcanons

not rude at all my guy this is all i do with my life

  • The Meme Team™
  • lance, smushing pidge’s face to his chest: “never talk to me or my child ever again”
    • alternatively: pidge pretends to be lance’s kid whenever he tries to flirt w someone
  • lance secretly aspires to one day be as savage as pidge
  • “excuse me sir I lost my friend lance, can I make an announcement?” *pidge leans into the intercom* “goodbye you little shit”
  • lance is horrified by the state of pidge’s everything. you don’t sleep a full 8 hours a night?? you don’t exfoliate??? and how could you just forget to trim your nails what the fuck are you a cat-
    • he detangles pidge’s hair regularly and angrily
    • hunk walks in on this once, vaguely recalls a documentary on monkeys’ grooming habits that he saw on animal planet once, and then leaves
  • “i have a problem” “you have many but go on”
  • actually a pretty horrifying duo. usually use their power for dumb pranks but one time some aliens make the mistake of capturing the two of them together and it takes them like five minutes to blow up their base
  • constant mecha anime jokes
    • “get in the robot, lance”
    • “don’t believe in yourself pidge. believe in the me that believes in you”
    • one day lance wakes up in a cold sweat and barges into pidge’s room. “pidge. pidge oh my god” “lance what the fuck” “pidge we’re piloting a fucking gundam oh my god”
  • *one walks into the room* the other: “yikes”
Potion No. 9

pairing: daveed x reader

requests: could you do Daveed X younger reader, where reader is like 18-20 and they start dating and the reader’s parents get really weirded out over the age difference?

summary: it’s time for daveed to meet reader’s parents. that’s it that’s really all i’ve got.

warnings: swearing, smut, semi-public/public sex, D/s, daddy kink, light bondage, praise kink

word count: 4,320

a/n: title is part of title of a sandra bullock movie but i used it as lyrics from lotus flower bomb by wale, which i recommend u start to play during the sexy time at the end ok. i know it’s barely still valentine’s day but I WROTE THIS all in one day it’s been a wild ride. i wanted to get this up ASAP but i’m messy and wanted to write one more sex scene i’m sorry buds but i hope you enjoy it anyway!!!!!!!!!!


“Are you ready, babe?” You peer into the mirror, adjusting the clasp on your necklace. The small heart-shaped garnet glints in the light and your heart flutters, remembering Daveed gifting it to you just this morning.

“Just a second,” he shouts from his bedroom. “I can’t get this fucking tie on straight!”

You snicker, tucking your lipstick into your small clutch. “Come out here and I’ll do it for you.”

Daveed grunts and shuffles out into the living room with his suit jacket draped over one arm and a sour look on his face.

“Why are you pouting?” You ask, fingers deftly untying the crooked knot and starting over again.

“I’m too old to not know how to tie my own tie,” he huffs, shoving one hand into the pockets of his dress pants.

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Dead Man {Kylo Ren x Reader}

Request~  I just thought of this and it sounds good in my head, but could u do a kylo imagine where the reader gets taken by the first order & is in the interrogation type room (like where Poe/Rey were) & reader is kinda scared bc ur preggos with kylos baby (u got pregnant when he was Ben or something) & he’s like who’s the father? And u say Ben Solo, but he’s gone now. And I don’t know where to go from there so u take it away lol. Wow sorry this is so lengthy

A/N~ Apologies for how long this took writing has been tough for me these past couple months. Anyways I’m not really sure how good this’ll be because I have no idea how to write pregnancy and its been a good minuet since I’ve written some thing long like this. Please ignore any mistakes (I’ll fix them later. For now I need to stop looking at this) hope ya’ll like it!

If the doctor back on base could see you now you assume she’d be furious. Three balanced meals a day, light exercise, and plenty of rest. It was good advice for a woman like yourself eight months pregnant, and you followed those directions perfectly except for one. Rest. You couldn’t sit idly while the resistance moved so quickly around you. 

Yellow Squadron denied every one of your requests or rather demands to let you join them on missions, but it never stopped you from asking one more time. Out of pure luck they’d finally said yes. The rebellion had received intel of unregistered spacecraft loitering in the outer rim. There was reason to believe The First Order was behind it. An organization that had been around for quite some time but only in the past few months had they really surfaced and become a threat. Yellow squadron’s job was to go out take a look around and come right back. A scouting mission is what they called it and they must have figured the mission would be easy enough for you to come along, for the ride if nothing else. It was supposed to be easy, it was supposed to be safe.

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Office AU Headcanon: Peter Parker

Originally posted by tomshollandss

Requested: Yes

A/N: This is my first headcanon, so I hope I did okay? Not too sure how these things go. I changed it up a bit from what was requested, so hopefully they like it. Please let me know what you think, enjoy! 

Want to see my other writings? Check ‘em out here: MASTERLIST


- Peter being an intern at Stark Tower

  • “Am I gonna help you with the suit, Mr. Stark?! O-Or the the Avengers suits? Oh! What abo-”
  • “No, you’re my assistant, meaning you don’t touch or bother me except for when I need something. ”
  • “Y-Yes, Mr. Stark, s-sir.

- He gets bored easily and starts making friends with some of the Avengers around the tower

  • Except for Sam
  • Sam doesn’t understand why a 15 year old is already interning
    • Shouldn’t he be in school??? *concerned parent sam*
  • Plus he’s full of energy in an office building and that doesn’t go too well

- He has a designated desk for himself (specifically away from anything that can be broken or messed with)

  • “T-This is for me? W-Wha-”
  • “It’s just a desk, chill out kid. Mind bringing me a cup of joe in like 20 minutes? I’ve got a meeting with a bunch of bozos and I’m going to need a pick me up.”
  • “O-Of course, Mr. Stark. I-I’ll get right on that!”

- But when he gets coffee for Tony, the rest of the Avengers hound him down for some too

  • “I’ll take a coffee with sugar and cream.” “I want a muffin, none of that whole grain shi-” “Latte with a pastry please!” “Just black coffee…” “Coffee with 6 shots of espresso, I need all the energy I can get!” and so on
  • Him hurriedly trying to write down their orders on a scratch piece of paper and stuffing it into his neat work pants
  • “O-Okay, I’ll be back s-soon!”

Peter literally sprinting to the nearest Starbucks and the line being obnoxiously long

  • *silent cry* “are you kidding me?!”
  • Carefully maneuvering through traffic with cases full of hot coffee and bags of food
  • Trips over a pothole on the road, but uses his spidey reflexes to catch everything, even the stacked napkins (not in plain sight of course, duh.)

- Managing to get back to the tower in a reasonable time with sweat glistening his forehead

  • “I-I’m back with your o-orders!”
  • breathless with a exasperated expression of nervousness and glee

- All the Avengers racing to get their hot coffees before everyone else

  • “A-Alright, I’ve got 8 c-coffees, 1 non-whole grain muffin, 4 pastries, 2 smoothies-”
  • They give Peter approving nods or slaps on the back in appreciation and for getting their orders correct. 
  • point for pete!

- Tony grabs his drink and thanks Peter

  • “Great work, kid!”
  • *incoherent excited noises*
  • “T-Thank you, Mr. Stark. I-I have a pretty good memory-”
  • “Well, you can put it to good use now, huh?”
  • “Yes, a-always, Mr. Star-”
  • “Just wait til the lunch rush, kid. Man, that’s where the true struggle begins.”
    • He manages to get past lunch with ease
    • “Man, I’m like a secretary… but for Tony Stark!”
    • That makes it a little better, right? riGht??

- Peter being overwhelmed by Tony letting him call him by his first name

  • ‘W-What should I do next, Mr. S-Stark?
  • “First off, Tony, call me Tony. Mr. Stark makes me feel like an old fart. Second, I need another refill, but this time make it one of those green smoothies.”
  • *incoherent Peter noises*
  • Does this mean he ‘trusts’ me ??
  • Omg omg omg omg
  • Am I dreaming? *pinch* Nope, no definitely not dreaming
  • “R-Right, of course Mr- I-I mean, Tony.”
    • The widest smile is plastered across his teenage face
    • Still ends up calling him Mr. Stark no matter how many times he’s reminded by Tony

- Peter sneaking around the tower when he has nothing to do

  • “Authorized personnel only… hmm, I wonder what’s in he-”
  • Tony spying on him with all the cameras around
  • “Kid, you know this place is rigged with cameras and I can see your every move?”
  • Red faced Peter trying to act all innocent
  • Psh, pfffft, y-yeah, I-I knew that. I was j-jus-”
  • “Go to your desk, underoos.”
  • “Sir yes sir!”

- Getting higher up in the internship to assist in scheduling things for the Avengers, like press, interviews, meetings, etc.

  • He never messes up times or dates
  • “Y-You’ve got a lunch with the mayor at noon, uh- a meeting with Bruce a-about the new machinery around four, and a press interview with Potts at 5:30. I-I did manage to squeeze a b-break in ther-”
  • “Well, shit. Aren’t you a scheduling wizard, kid.”
  • “T-Thank you, Mr. Stark. I-I try my best.”

- Peter being the first one there in the morning to make the place look nice and being the last one to leave

  • Tony lets him check out the lab before they leave for the day
  • “Woah, no way! T-This is so awesome, Mr. Stark!”
  • his eyes full of hope for his future there
  • “H-Hey, what’s this do?”
  • “DON’T TOUCH THA-”
  • “…o-oops”
  • *insert frustrated dad gif*
This Life Will Have To Do

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: SMUT (Ages 18+), Unprotected Sex (WRAP IT!!), Mentions of Abuse

Summary: You’re a maiden being forced into marriage with a wealthy tradesman, Brock Rumlow, but a group of criminals crash your wedding, led by the long-lost love of your life.

A/N: I know that Alexander Pierce isn’t Brock’s father, but for the sake of this story, he is. Sorry ‘bout that inaccuracy!

Word Count: 3.7k

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by fandomnationwhore

“Oh, please, Y/N, I’ve heard enough whining to last a lifetime. Now turn around and let me zip up your dress.” Your mother rolled her eyes yet again in response to your protests.

“Mother, you’re throwing away my entire life! How do you expect me to respond?” You exclaimed, trying to keep the tears at bay before you fully lost your composure.

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