Summary: Y/n prides herself in being a ghost hunter and Peter is pretty sure ghosts aren’t real. One day while the city is quiet and Peter doesn’t have to fight crime, Y/n decides that she and Peter need to hunt some ghosts.
A/N: This is just a funny little fic I thought up while watching Buzzfeed Unsolved. Those guys crack me up and I thought what Peter would be like while ghost hunting.
“Peter… Peter… Peter!” Y/n spoke softly, shaking Peter’s sleeping body wildly as she pushed him off his desk.
Peter’s eyes opened slowly as he jerked away from his best friend. He leaned back in his seat, rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and examined his friend.
“What is that?” he asked, pointing to Y/n’s head.
Y/n stood before him, her arms crossed over her chest as she shivered in the cool room. She had on the hoodie Peter had been looking for for months, ripped jeans, a beanie and boots, not too different from her normal attire, but the thing that Peter questioned was the small camera Y/n had strapped to her beanie.
“It’s my ghost hunting camera.” Y/n stated in a matter-of-fact tone.
“And why do you have that?” Peter asked, hoping she wouldn’t say it.
“Cause you and me, Petey, we’re going ghost hunting.” Y/n grinned.
“And she said it.” Peter muttered to himself before rising from his seat. “Bug, how many times do I have to tell you? Ghosts are not real. They aren’t scientifically possible.”
“Um, yes they are. And they are scientifically possible. Paranormal science exists for a reason, you know.”
“Just because you saw paranormal science in a Ghostbusters movie does not mean it is a real thing.”
“How do you know?”
“I just do.”
Y/n squinted at the boy. “I don’t believe you.”
“The Mandela Effect you keep talking about isn’t real, either.”
Y/n gasped dramatically and put a hand to her chest. “Don’t you dare use the Mandela Effect’s name in vain! And if you can be bitten by a radioactive spider, as stupid as it sounds, then all I believe in can be real. Now, get dressed. We’re going out.”
Peter steadied the flashlight in his hand. He would never tell Y/n, but he was quite scared of being in the dark open spaces of the abandoned hospital she had taken him to.
“Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?” Y/n asked, wiggling her brows as Peter shined his flashlight on her.
“What do you mean?” Peter gave her a look.
“Don’t you feel the ghosts? The crazy energy of this place?”
“The only thing I’m feeling is stupidity for following you here.”
“Oh, come on, Petey. Lighten up! This is fun!” Y/n skipped down the dark hall, her beam of light being the only thing that Peter could see until he couldn’t see it much longer.
He felt panic swell up in his chest as he sprinted down the hall to where he had last seen Y/n. It was when he was panting and sick to his stomach that he felt a hand creep up his shoulder. He screamed loudly and jumped as a laugh emerged from behind him.
“Oh…my…god! I got you so good!” Y/n said in between laughs. “I think I might pee myself! Ah!”
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, bug. You’re hilarious.” Peter replied sarcastically, clutching his chest as he tried to get his heartbeat to slow.
“I am very hilarious, thank you.” Y/n smiled as she wiped joyful tears from her eyes. “Now let’s get serious.”
“Like you’re ever seri-”
“Shut it, bug boy! It’s time to be serious.” Y/n cut Peter off, positioning the flashlight so that the light was illuminating her face in a dramatic way. “Now, a little run down of the history of this place. It was build in the 1900s, started out as a normal hospital, then became a sanitarium in the 1920s. They were so cruel as a sanitarium people believe there are angry spirits still haunting the east wing that had the shock therapy. Then, in the 1960s, it was shut down after a homicidal patient killed two nurses and a doctor in room 209.”
“We’re gonna go there. I wanna get spooked, duh.”
“I don’t know if we should go up there, bug.”
“Why? Are you scared, Peter?” Y/n mocked like a child, throwing her arm around Peter’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you, Spider-boy.”
‘I’m not scared. I just don’t trust the structure of this building.”
“Nope, you’re totally scared.”
“I am not scared.”
“Then prove it.” Y/n said, removing her arm from around Peter. “Race ya to room 209!”
Y/n began to take off, sprinting up the stairs as Peter gasped dramatically.
“Wait for me!” Peter yelled, running after the laughing girl.
Y/n stood as still as a statue in the hall, the beam of light illuminating from her flashlight shook as Peter slowed down and walked towards her.
Y/n’s flashlight was following the wheelchair that sat in the middle of the hallway, a wheelchair that had not stayed stagnant, but rolled back and forth the width of the hallway slowly, as if someone in it didn’t know how to use it.
“Haha, very funny, bug. Where’s the fishing line or the person controlling the chair?” Peter stated sarcastically as he walked past Y/n.
“No…no! Peter, don’t!” Y/n stammered, her face as white as a ghost.
“Don’t what? Touch the wheelchair?” Peter asked, walking toward the chair before it wheeled backwards and bumped into him before skittering down the hallway as Y/n let out a shriek.
“I wasn’t doing that, Peter! Holy shit! I wasn’t doing that and we’re the only people in here!” Y/n cried, tears rimming her e/c eyes as Peter walked towards her with a nervous chuckle.
“What are you talking about, bug? That was obviously remote controlled or something. You were just trying to scare me, right?”
“I-I was at first, but that wasn’t a prank I was pulling on you. It was a ghost! A motherfucking ghost!” Y/n cried as Peter turned as white as a sheet.
“What? That wasn’t you?” Y/n shook her head.
“Fuck this! Ghostbusting is the worst! I’m pretty sure I pissed myself. The ghostbusters make this seem so easy.” Y/n rambled as Peter approached her, laughing loudly. “What? Why are you laughing?”
“Because- because I got you so good! Oh my god, bug, that was just a remote control!” Peter cried between laughs. “Come here, look.”
Peter pulled out a remote controller from his pocket and flipped a switch on it and moved the joystick as the wheelchair came zooming down the hallway. He made it do a few turns before Y/n finally got herself to calm down.
“You are the absolute worst, Peter Parker.” Y/n said as she began to calm down. “But, I really think we should go.”
“Cause I really did piss myself…” Y/n stated softly, a blush rising to her cheeks.
Peter chuckled. “Oh god, bug, seriously?” Y/n nodded. “Okay, let’s go back home, but you are going to sit on your jacket in the car cause you and I know both know May would be made if the car smelled like pee.”
“Well, I hope you know that this is your jacket.” Y/n giggled as she began to walk away, cursing herself with every step while Peter followed with a groan.
They reached the entrance to the building faster than Y/n had expected when they hear a groan from up the stairs.
“Did you hear that?” Y/n asked, looking over at Peter.
“It was probably nothing, we should go.”
“No, I wanna know what that was.” Y/n argued before turning towards the staircase. “Hello?!”
Her voice echoed for a moment before the two hear an ear piercing scream and they scrambled out the doors.
one time i was giving my now-ex a blowjob and he was super into it and then i stopped and was like “can you feel it NOW mr. krabs??” and he totally lost his shit and couldnt stop laughing and that’s why i’m a shitty person the end