A YouTuber AU SnowBaz fanfic for the Carry On Countdown
Simon Snow’s first YouTube video is one of my favourites. It’s as painfully awkward as any other YouTuber’s first video. He sits up too straight in his chair, he smiles and laughs too mechanically, and the film quality itself is poor, with half of his words lost to shoddy editing. Yet despite all this, it’s adorable.
And of course, it’s the origin of the biggest OTP on YouTube, SnowBaz.
“Hi guys,” Simon waves at the camera, his hand going all pixelated at the movement. “Welcome to the first video on my channel!” He’s inserted a sound effect of people cheering. I have to laugh. It’s so damn cringe-worthy.
He goes on for a few moments, trying to make jokes and jump-cuts that work, when finally, it’s everyone’s favourite part.
“What are you doing, Snow?” comes a voice from off-camera. My heart turns to mush.
Simon’s new flatmate, or at least he was new at this point.
“Making my first YouTube video,” Simon grins up at someone behind the camera. “Come say hi!”
Even the censor sounds old, like it was stolen from the year 2007.
Simon looks a bit panicked, like he’s realizing that he’ll have to edit out the swear word. A door slams somewhere out of the shot.
“That’s my new flatmate,” he tells us. “His name is Baz. He’s kind of a prat.”
“Just you wait,” I whisper at my computer screen. “Just you wait.”
Simon and Baz do not get along. At all.
That much is clear from the first video, but it become increasingly obvious as Simon posts more frequently. He often films in the living room, which drives Baz insane.
“Why don’t you film in your own room?” he says, audibly annoyed.
“The lighting in there is terrible,” Simon protests.
“Well, I’d like to be able to walk around my own flat, if you don’t mind.”
“Go ahead, no one’s stopping you,” Simon shrugs. “Besides, the viewers keep saying they want to see you.”
“Well, who wouldn’t?”
Good old Baz. Sarcastic and full of himself. They don’t appear to realize it, but the two of them balance each other out perfectly.
Little by little, Baz begins to make his mark on Simon’s channel. At first we only hear him from off-screen, offering his two bits about nearly everything Simon has to say. Many of his comments are admittedly quite mean and uncalled for, but Simon never edits them out. Baz is the invisible heckler. Viewers begin to latch onto this weird relationship of apparent hatred and, as YouTube viewers are wont to do, turn it into a new ship. “SnowBaz” they call it, and before long the comment sections on all of Simon’s videos are full of things like “I ship it” and “OTP”.
I try not to fall victim to this shipping trend myself. It feels insensitive to me, shipping real live people that I’ve never even met like they’re objects of sorts. But even I can’t deny that the two of them would be cute together. Provided they stop hating each other.
Then Baz appears onscreen for the first time.
He’s on the couch in the background, facing away from the camera. All we can see is long black hair. He only moves when he’s shouting ridicule at Simon’s words. Once he turns his head further to make himself heard, and we catch a glimpse of the light brown skin of his face. This time the comments are all “is that Baz?” and “OMG BAZ”.
After that he starts to appear more often. Sometimes he’s facing the screen, looking down at his phone or a book. He’s tall, and his hair reaches his shoulders. The expression on his face goes between concentration and a sneer, that latter of which he reserves for his heckling. It doesn’t take long for people to start commenting on how attractive he is. Still Simon leaves all the footage of Baz in his videos, not hiding a single rude comment from his viewers.
Once, Simon tries to get Baz to join him for a “meet my flatmate” video. Baz responds simply by flipping Simon off in the background, which Simon has to pixel out. He’s gotten better at editing at this point.
Sometimes Simon posts daily vlogs on days when he does things that he considers exciting. The things that Simon finds exciting are too cute for words. They tend to be little events like going to a coffee shop, things that are almost mundane but for some reason they excite him. He does this thing where he dances when he’s excited. He’ll bob his head cheerfully as he walks, glad to just be out. He’s gone to the grocery store with Baz a few times in his vlogs. Those videos are some of the best ones. They bicker about everything from which kind of milk to get to who gets to carry the baskets. Sometimes we can see Baz’s mouth quirk like he’s trying not to laugh, like all this bickering is just a game for him. Of course, this sends the SnowBaz shippers into a frenzy, the idea that maybe, just maybe, Baz doesn’t hate Simon as much as he lets on.
But there’s one video on Simon’s channel that is the absolute bread of life for anyone who ships the two of them. Simon is doing a Q&A, and as usual Baz is sitting and reading in the background.
“This question is from Twitter,” Simon says, reading off of his phone. “They ask ‘Are you in love with anyone right now?’”
And if you look closely, you can see Baz go rigid.
“Well,” Simon leans in close to the camera, “I have been messaging with someone quite a lot. I don’t know who the person is, but we’ve gotten really close and I’m starting to think -”
“Could you keep it down, Snow,” Baz pipes up, his voice tight. “I’m trying to read over here.”
Simon doesn’t speak of it any further, but Baz sneaks glances at the back of Simon’s head more than once before the video is over. I don’t know how Simon could have not noticed it. Certainly every single one of his viewers did, which is to say over a million people. Perhaps love is completely daft.
When I arrive home from work on a particularly rainy day in October, I am delighted to open my computer and find that Simon is in the middle of a livestream. Comments flow constantly from the sidebar and I settle in to join the party. He’s in a different room this time, one with a neatly made bed on which he sits, and I gather that it’s his room. It looks so clean, but I wonder if there’s a disaster hiding behind the camera.
Simon leans towards us like he’s trying to read all of the comments and questions as they flood in. He gets a lot of I love you’s and he grins in response, trying to return as many of them as possible.
“I’ve got to go soon,” he tells us and I sigh in disappointment, “but I’ll answer a few more questions first.” He’s quiet for a minute as all the viewers catch up with the stream. “Here’s one: ‘Did you find out who was messaging you so much?’” He pauses before answering. “Funny you should ask, because yes, I did, and that’s a perfect segway into what I wanted to talk about.” He shifts on his bed. “I have a bit of an announcement -”
His door opens behind him, and Baz in all his glory appears in it.
Comments start flying in of “BAZ” and “OMG”
“What are you doing?” Baz asks without a hint of a sneer in his voice.
“Just filming a live show,” Simon tells him. He seems… nervous?
“A live show, eh?” Baz strolls over and – wonder of wonders – sits down on the bed next to Simon. We’ve never seen him this close to the camera, and his eyes are this lovely mix of gray and green.
We’ve also never seen him this close to Simon before.
My heart kicks up a notch. I’ve fallen down the slippery slope and now there’s no denying that I ship it completely. I grab a pillow to hold to my chest and go into fangirl-mode, overanalysing every inch of their proximity. With a click I maximize the screen, blocking the other comments from my view. I want to see every pixel of this.
“I was just going to make that little announcement,” Simon says, staring at his hands in his lap.
“Ah,” Baz nods, apparently understanding. “Go on, then. Carry on, Simon.”
Did he –
Did he just call him Simon?
He never calls him Simon!
“I can’t do it if you’re here!” Simon protests.
Baz gives a shrug. “Then I’ll tell them.”
He takes Simon by the collar and kisses him.
I scream into my pillow.
Simon and Baz are kissing, right now, in front of millions of people.
I can practically hear the collective aneurism that the fangirls are currently having.
They’re still kissing, and Simon is grinning against Baz’s mouth. It’s the most genuine smile he’s ever graced the internet with, and it’s not even for us.
I’m tearing up, I’m so happy for them.
Baz lets Simon go and turns to smirk at the camera. “That one’s for all you SnowBaz shippers out there. Don’t think we don’t know.” He winks. He fucking winks.
And then he leaves.
Simon turns back to the camera, his cheeks red and his lips puffy. He grins sheepishly.
“Um, yeah,” he stammers, “that’s what I was gonna tell you about.”
I tap the comment box.
pennyforyourthoughts: Called it.