Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to say our goodbyes to our dear friend America, who died recently after a brief, intense battle with fascism and a long, slow battle with carbs. Thank you all for coming out to help say farewell. It’s not easy. But at least America died doing what it loved most: deep-frying Halloween candy while white men tried to explain to women what jazz is.
America was sick for a really long time. In the early stages, I think we were all in denial. You could tell that America was unwell—public displays of brutality, deeply internalized prejudice, “Entourage”—but it seemed curable. Just a case of plain old electile dysfunction. We thought that we’d caught the fascism early, but, as we now know, it had metastasized. America was more Florida than country by the end.
America was born right here, in America, and lived here its entire life. America was always about family. It is survived by its similarly ill father, Britain, and its large brood of children: baseball, Google, fireworks, losing your fingers to fireworks, giving your Uber driver only four stars because he talked to you, thinking granola is healthy, Chicago (the place), “Chicago” (the musical), “Chicago” (the movie adaptation of the musical), Chicago (the band), “Chicago Fire,” “Chicago Med,” “Chicago P.D.,” “Chicago Justice,” “Chicago ‘Chicago’ ” (a show about the Chicago production of the musical “Chicago,” coming to NBC this fall), and a bunch of wars.
I’d personally be nowhere without America. America was there when I was born, when I got married, when I saw Janet Jackson’s nipple at the Super Bowl. Remember that? After that happened, none of us slept for days, because we had never seen the pointy part of a boob on our TVs before, and it really upset us. America was really cool that way. It would always get mad when you’d see the pointy part of a boob on a TV. I’m gonna miss that.
However, we should not dwell on the loss of our dear country, friend, and place where all the Cheesecake Factories and Lids stores are. Today, let’s celebrate America’s life, and remember all of the remarkable things it accomplished and how many actors playing Spider-Man who keep getting cuter and younger were inside of it. America gave us so much. And, boy, did it look good for its age. America was two hundred and forty-one years old when it died, but it didn’t look a day over a hundred and sixty-four! It looked so young, it could’ve been the very same America that put its own citizens in internment camps!
America got a bunch of things really right. Mostly how to put food inside other food. Anyone can just eat a chicken. But in a duck?! In a turkey?! In a gun?! No one is going to forget the Turduckenun any time soon. America was so inventive that way. And, I mean, everyone does silly stuff when they’re young. America was beautiful, too. Sure, it was a little lumpy, and you could always see its Florida through its pants, but it just got hotter with age. So hot. It was so, so hot by the time it died. Almost too hot to live in.
If there’s anything we should take away from this tragedy, it’s that you should always check yourself for fascism, especially around your midsection. It’s easy enough to do in the shower. If you catch it early, it can be cleared up with a rigorous regimen of local elections and books and yoga. But America was cocky. Nothing bad had ever happened to it before! It assumed this fascism would pass, just like the Second World War and “Entourage” had.
What a shame. America was just the best damn country in the whole U.S.A. I’m sorry that I’m getting choked up. I get really emotional when I think of America, and also I took too big of a bite of Turduckenun and it got lodged in my windpipe. We will all miss America greatly. Every time I see an American flag or a gun, I’ll think of America. But we can all rest easy knowing America is in a better place now: Russia.
On a lighter note of our precious baby vanishing in thin air, what did he really want to say?
In reference to this panel in 453:
So flash forward to 538 when Natsu, Lucy, Happy and Gray are walking back:
What I’d like to point out is while Lucy and Gray are talking, they are oblivious to the interaction of Natsu and Happy, as many readers are as well. The focus in this panel was meant to be on Gray and his relationship with Juvia, but I couldn’t help but notice Natsu’s seemingly embarrassed and anxious face and Happy’s scared (if you could call it that) face. It seems Happy mentioned something to Natsu during the conversation of the relationship Juvia and Gray, something that is possibly related in some way to Gray’s unclear relationship with Juvia who loves him. Maybe something along the lines of him and Lucy? Whichcauses Natsu to react in a embarrassed and panicked state. I can practically hear Natsu telling Happy to shut up, because the war is finally over and now it’s time to do what he said he was going to do (which he also swore he’d do whatever it was in front of Lucy as well).
Plus, in 520, whatever Natsu wanted to do we can rest assured differed from Zeref and Acnologia, since it was stated above. I doubt Natsu knows that Acnologia has been defeated (for now) so we can rest assured he wasn’t going to talk about fighting or anything like that. Plus, can we please note that he wanted to do/say whatever it was and that took PRIORITY over defeating Zeref and Acnologia. Natsu’s first thought went to whatever he wanted to do and THEN Zeref. Whatever he was going to say is very important to him, even more so then him dying or the impending (and almost over) war.
And I just wanted to throw this little cap in from 521 as well. Here we see that even as Natsu went into a demon/END mode he was still conscious that he thought that Lucy died. This is still a lingering fear of Natsu’s I believe, that Lucy will somehow leave him by dying. We know that Future Lucy’s death was very emotional for Natsu, and time and time again after the 1 year time skip Natsu is shown to be very protective of Lucy, claiming that “Even if all is left is her head…Lucy will still be Lucy” (477) and protecting her by putting his body first. Even when it comes time for him to face Zeref and Natsu’s first defeat, he thanks Lucy, thinks of her, knowing she is helping him.Why is this important to note? Because in reference to the panel above, whatever Natsu wanted to do/say trumps beating Zeref, and with Lucy gone/dead than he could never accomplish that. Not only is she the closest person to him, and vise versa, but with her dying he is left with unfinished business IE what he wanted to say to her. Hence him going overboard. Just thought this was worthy to note!
Back to the point lol…
This panel in particular shows how teasing Happy is towards Natsu. The second panel he seems to tease Lucy in a way, which makes me believe that whatever Natsu was about to say, whether it be a confession or whatnot, it involves Lucy. Otherwise, I don’t believe Happy would have responded to Lucy with that expression. The bottom panels also show Happy and his teasing, him holding back a laugh with a blush on his cheeks. He’s obviously teasing Natsu about something, something that he knows will embarrass Natsu. He tends to make that expression when it is in regards to Natsu and Lucy and their somewhat unclear relationship:
One can argue that it can be for fanservice, and yes it very well can be, but I don’t see it that way. What Natsu wanted to say involves Lucy in some form so hopefully he comes back so we can find out what ;A;
I believe that Anna and Acnologia coming back (since the last panel there seemed to be this rip in the sky so bitches are coming back) will probably bring a way to save natsu in some form? I don’t believe he is gone for good, but I do believe a sacrifice will be needed in order to bring him back. However, much like these chapters are going, it could also be a troll, and he vanishes somewhere to makes amends with Zeref maybe before coming back to the guild since Zeref and Mavis both defeated the curse? maybe since they defeated it w love they can have like a wish granted, much like Zeref wished he made up with Natsu lol if this is the case I’ll be shook.
okay so. i’m seeing a lot of panic about Jun being on The Unit and yes u have the right to worry. i’m not saying that u can’t. worrying is perfectly reasonable. but the level of panic seems a little out of hand.
i don’t think it’s going to be as bad as everyone thinks it’s going to be.
maybe Beat Interactive is doing this to get A.C.E more fans. so what? when is more fans a bad thing? (okay so big fandoms can get out of hand but we’re doing good so far so let’s move on)
and yes if he gets super popular and ends up in the final group he’ll be away from A.C.E for a while. but look at what Produce 101 did to some people. Nu’est has never been more popular. Wanna One is doing extremely well. IOI did extremely well.
i know we want the boys to stay together, but think about how Jun feels. what if he wants to do this?
yes the show is described as an idol rebooting show. but let’s give it a chance before we freak out more, okay guys?
You watch happily from beside Ashton as your six year old rockets through the playground, a large grin on his face. It was the first sunny day out of a week of rain and you were all for letting him blow off some energy by running around for a little while. He’d been going stir crazy cooped up inside and it seemed as though he was taking your last nerve with him. Really, the sunshine had been a blessing. It was also the first day off that Ashton had where he wasn’t busy worrying about songs, music or the band all together and you were thankful for the time you got with him.
You’d been hesitant before starting your relationship with him, worried about Jason getting far too attached to a man that wasn’t going to be sticking around long; but what you hadn’t counted on though was how attached to Ashton you got. Now it was three years later and you knew that you loved him and that he loved both you and Jason. The two of them got along like peas in a pod and you knew you had nothing to worry about.
You smile as you notice Jason at the top of the slide, waving enthusiastically back at both you and Ash just before he slides down. You watch him for another minute or so until you feel Ashton’s arm wrap around your waist, guiding you back until you’re pressed against his chest. You chuckle as his lips press gently to the side of your neck, his nose brushing along the bottom of your ear. You swat him away, playfully shaking your head. “There’s children everywhere Irwin.” “There won’t be later on,” He murmurs against your skin. “Are you forgetting about the six year old that will come home with us and needs to be fed, bathed and put to bed?” You feel him smile. “No, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some alone -”
The rest of his sentence is cut off by a loud cry, both of you breaking apart to see Jason running back towards you, his cheeks already flushed and covered in tears. “Aw baby,” You coo, reaching out for him as he gets to the blanket you’re sitting on. “What happened?” “F - fell over,” He sobs, holding out his hand so you can see the grazed flesh. “Want Mummy to kiss it all better?” He shakes his head and you are more than a little surprised when he reaches out for Ashton instead. “Want Daddy to.”
You bite your lip as you wonder how Ashton is going to respond to that; neither of you had ever discussed whether or not he’d be okay with Jason calling him Daddy. It made sense to you that he might someday as Ash was the only male figure Jace had in his life but that didn’t mean that he was ready for that kind of responsibility.
Your heart feels like it might come busting through your chest as Ash picks the little boy up, pouting at him sadly as he holds his injured hand. You smile though as Ashton kisses Jason’s palm, pulling him into a tight hug. “I got you buddy,” He says softly. “Daddy will make it feel all better.”
By the time you step into the house after work you are both exhausted and irritable, annoyed over the fact that you had to stay two hours overtime to finish up something that could have been left for tomorrow. It’s now way after dinner time and you can’t help but feel a little guilty that you’d left your boyfriend with your three year old daughter for a lot longer than you’d intended to. You’d only been seeing each other around twelve months and even though you knew Luke loved Bailey you still didn’t want to leave him with responsibilities that weren’t his.
Leaving your shoes, jacket and handbag by the front door you pad into the living room, smiling softly as you see tangled paused on the tv screen, your daughter’s current favourite disney movie. She’d already made you and Luke watch it five times this week but neither of you could ever say no when she suggested it. “Luke?” You call out, wondering where the pair of them had got too.
You don’t have to wait long to find out because seconds later the sound of little feet running down the hallway catches your attention, Bailey heading straight towards you. You catch her before she can barrel into your legs, swinging her up onto your hip so you can press a kiss to her rosy cheeks. “Mummy!” She squeals happily, wrapping her arms around your neck. “Daddy and I had so much fun, we watched movies and then he helped wash my hair and then he braided it so I could have curly hair for tomorrow and then he was reading me a story when you got home!” “That sounds so great baby,” You reply tightly, trying not to show the shock of her calling Luke Daddy on your face.
smut // If there’s one thing your boyfriend can call himself an expert in is time wasting
He places his pen down then stretches his limbs, like a cat and lets out a beast of a yawn. “Can we take a rest now?” he asks, resting his head in his hand as he looks at you through the rounded frame of glasses.
I just finished re-watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer all the way through, and my soul aches. My heart burns and melts in black inky agony. Spike and Buffy are truly the most tortured and brilliant people. Gleaming; glowing.
When I think about their journey everything is pain, and love, and understanding. What an emotionally abusive television series. Sarah Michelle Gellar and James Marsters are fucking luminous, and I don’t think I can ever love two fictional characters more than the two they portray.
How can the writers invest me, entangle me, bury me in these two individuals so completely; so viscerally? Then tear them down until they loathe themselves and then build them back up. Build them back up so perfectly, and so authentically. And then they leave me with the most empty finale. When I think about it, I feel sick with despair. (Guys, I literally cried myself to sleep last night)
When I first watched Buffy, I was like 8 - 15 years old I didn’t understand. I just thought, “Oh, Buffy’s the best! And Spike is sooo hot! Oh, he did bad things, but I still like them together”. No. This time around I saw so much of myself in Buffy; in Spike. I felt what it was like for them to have this connection that no one could possibly understand. I felt what it cost Spike to do what he did. That unforgivable thing. I felt the betrayal on Buffy’s skin, crawling all over her. Crawling all over him. I felt how it broke Spike, and at the same time pushed him to fix himself, fully and truly. I felt that connection between them, though frayed and about to crumble, start to fuse back together again. Stronger; thicker this time. Unbreakable. They were there for each-other at LITERALLY every turn. They never once broke that bond again. The connection they had was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed. They loved each-other for a long time. Longer than they both admit. And it breaks my heart that Spike can’t even believe it, even at the end of it all.
The ending makes me feel so lost. I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but the conclusion of it all leaves a hole me that hurts so much. Rest in peace, everyone who needs now just to rest. Can we rest now, Buffy?
A/N: I never understood the “Daddy” kink, and then I laid eyes on Chanyeol and I have been fucked up ever since. I feel like this goes without saying, but, uh, smut.
You were backstage before a show. It was the final show of tour, and you were ecstatic to have Chanyeol home for an extended period of time after this.
You had been hanging out with all of the guys before the show as they had hair and make up done. You were sat on a chair next to the door watching the whole process.
They had decided to straighten Chanyeol’s locks and, though you loved his bouncy curls, when his hair was done like this, it did something extra for you.
“Ten minutes until show time. Let’s get mics on,” you heard the stage manager call out. The guys started piling out of the room. You called good luck wishes after them. They grinned and waved at and high-fived you on their way out.
Chanyeol hung out behind to give you a quick kiss. You whispered, “good luck, daddy,” against his lips. He immediately straightened up; you heard the door slam shut and the lock turn.
Next thing that you knew, you were against that same door. Chanyeol was pressing your wrists against it firmly with his large hands.
Glass shattered. Then Azriel was racing across the balcony. He darted inside the House of Wind. Feyre and Cassian not a second behind him.
She was having a vision. The crystal vase she’d been carrying crashed to the ground, shattering atop her bare feet. She had no idea. Her eyes were cloudy, lips moving as she mumbled. Her arms held awkwardly in front of her, fingers twitching and fluttering as if playing an instrument, a piano maybe.
Azriel got to her first. He hated touching her when she was in the midst of a vision, but sometimes her feet moved and the last time she’d had one while carrying something it’d been a mirror, and he’d spent all night holding her hand while two healers picked the shards from the bottoms of her feet. It’d taken a day to heal.