I thought I would never have proof of this moment, but someone randomly dmd me on twitter saying they had a video of Ben Platt hugging me. He’s an actual angel and I cannot explain how much I love him. 💙💜
I found heaven; between the pauses of his sleepy voice at 1 AM, when our voices are begging us to sleep and when he sang to me lullabies and when his laugh travel down my spine. I found hell in the morning. He’s only ever mine when his other girls are asleep. I found hell in his wandering eyes in other girls’ lips, neck, eyes. I found hell in boundaries, I found hell in convincing myself he never love me.
Loving him was entering ghost house; adrenaline rush and silent scream. I came in prepared my heart to break, bend, and bleed. The demons are starting to appear now and I had to left before they got the chance to haunt me. I found heaven in loving him. I found hell in having to leave first.
owlandowly // i lost count how many poetry i wrote for you