can we have these day again

Okay but can we discuss Nik for a sec here

Can we talk about how he pretty much grew up with Damen and they became best friends, they did everything together and work the closest with each other, and then one day he has to hear that his best friend died? Can we talk about how hard he has to have grieved over Damen and how ecstatic and emotional he must’ve been upon seeing him again?

Daily Prospit has New Mods Y’all

I just wanted to say I really appreciate everyone who applied, I’m so happy to see so many people who love these goober kids following the blog and interested in participating. We got so many great applicants these past couple days. It was a hard choice but we narrowed it down to 3, everyone please welcome




We also have another one of our mods from Daily KK joining us on this blog too so say hello to Mod Two y’all at 


Again thank you to everyone who took an interest and applied, we really appreciated it and much love to you guys!! Can’t wait to see all the nerd kids to come.

anonymous asked:

(part 3). but like the shia genocide has really reached new heights in the last 20 years. luckily we're from peshawar where sectarianism isn't as big of a problem as it is in punjab and sindh so we've never lost a loved one. but most punjabi shias we know have. according to my grandma, back in the 70's, there was no concept of a sectarian mosque in KPK. everyone prayed together in one mosque. sunnis participated in muharram processions. i wish it could be like that again some day :/

The ‘everyone prayed together’ line is one I see a lot from people who speak of previous unity and solidarity etc. I respect and appreciate what you’re trying to say, but *whenever* Shias have lived in a Sunni supremacist society, they have faced genocide. If not in pakistan, then in turkey. If not in Yemen then in Bahrain. I do think unity is important, but I think people are getting ahead of themselves. Before we can have unity Sunnis actually have to acknowledge that they are contributing to a culture of shia genocide–it’s been hundreds of years and that has not yet happened.

chinxee  asked:

Maybe you saw Me Asking A Question, Or just Re-sharing. Either way, Thank you so Much for you're Blog!!! My Art Wouldn't Be Like it is this day! You need More than 500 Followers, Like 100 Million, Keep Blogging And Have a Great day~

Hey! Meg here! Just scrolled and found your original question about digital art! First, thank you and sorry we missed it! When it comes to digital art, whether it be using a mouse to draw with Microsoft Paint, or using a tablet with Adobe Photoshop, it’s all about getting acquainted with the software! Just let yourself twink around with the settings, don’t try to make a masterpiece at the beginning! I do want to make more tutorials on working digitally, so hopefully I can explain more then! Again, thank you so much for your support!

And Beyond | Before

Member: Yoongi

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Words: 1.4k 

Summary: Being a runaway isn’t a permanent title. One day you will find yourself again. You will find a home, but until that day, the truck and the person next to you, Yoongi is all you have.


Originally posted by dreamyoongi

“Same old, same old huh?”

“Yeah. I see we’re both pretty messed up.” You say as you point towards the white plastic bags you’ve placed to the side.

You take out one of the cold cans and open it, taking in a refreshing sip of the slightly bitter drink. From what you can see, Yoongi is already on his second can for the night.

“Rough night?” You ask as you’re almost halfway through the can.

“Of sorts. Not many jobs to take tonight so I figured I would come here, escape that life for now. How about you?”

Keep reading

I have no clue why, but I just can’t seem to get clear shots of Mars at all, jeez my camera sucks. Anyway, color update! We only have two colors left, one being the rest of the skin (yeah the entirety of what’s left of the legs and face and arm are one damn color it’s the hair all over again) and then white, so what I’m gonna do is just not update anymore and the next “update” will be the final posting, and then we can do Jupiter the same day, hopefully!

Red & Blue Connection Theory

Be warned there’s gonna be Voltron s3 spoilers in here!! So if you don’t want to see that, look elsewhere. (Also this is super fucking long, I’m sorry.) 

Anyway so I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and what with (at least temporary) Red Paladin!Lance being confirmed, now is probably the time to post this.

Coincidentally, I’ve been spending the past couple weeks looking for foreshadow of the Red and Blue Lions have some kind of Special Connection and there is quite a bit, so I thought I’d share some of what I’ve found.

The gist of it is that I think Red and Blue have some kind of connection that the other lions don’t seem to have with each other. Of course all the lions have a special bond, but there seem to be a lot of hints that the connection between Red and Blue *coughs* and their pilots is something a little different––basically, that Lance and Keith have shown a lot more interest in/connection to each other’s lions than any of the other paladins have.

(And before everyone jumps down my throat, I’m NOT proposing a permanent lion switch so jot that down lol. But I do think temporary lion switches are Good so uhhhh fight me.)

I’m not sure how to go about explaining this, but I’m just gonna break it down to:

- Keith’s connection with Blue

- Lance’s connection with Red

- What Does It Mean

Here we go!!!

Keith & Blue

- I’m still caught up on this whole “Keith sensed the Blue Lion” thing. Granted, it could have something to do with his alien abilities™ (I’m still rooting for Keith with Altean ancestry, y’all) but I still question the choice of having Keith sense Blue, of all the lions. He only detects the location of two lions in canon, and they’re––you guessed it––Blue and Red. 

First we have some kinda vague “energy” that attracts Keith to Blue:

Then we have this part where Keith just … closes his eyes and senses Red somehow??

(These both happen in the first episode, I might add.)

Like I said, this could be some kinda sixth alien sense. But, I do also wonder if it was Blue trusting & calling out to Keith specifically, which is interesting considering he’s not even her paladin.

- Also in the first episode, when they find Blue, Keith & Lance are the first ones to approach her. Keith even reaches Blue before Lance does!

And then they’re both standing right in front of Blue, side-by-side, when she wakes up.

There is still a close-up on Lance when Blue awakens––but even so, everyone else has much more of a one-on-one first interaction with their lion, so this scene in particular stands out to me.

- Other than in the first episode we don’t get much of Keith interacting with Blue in s1 (except for him saving Blue for Lance in s1e06, which is cute!)

But then there’s also this moment in s2 where he starts asking Coran about whether there might have been Galra on earth before, and whether that could have something to do with Blue being on Earth:

Which is especially interesting now that we know that Keith is part Galra. So …. is it possible the previous Blue Paladin might’ve been Galra?? or even could have been an ancestor of Keith’s?

Then of course we have Lance emerging from his room at the mention of Blue, and accusing Keith of “having his eye on the Blue Lion since day one”:

This is … kinda odd considering Keith hasn’t outwardly shown any desire to pilot Blue as far as I can remember. So, obviously this is a throwback to the very first episode in which Keith first sensed Blue––and the fact that it was brought up again out of nowhere makes me suspicious that there’s Something there that hasn’t quite been addressed yet.

Lance & Red

- *rubs hands together* Now this is Extra Fun because now I know for a fact Lance is gonna fly the Red Lion at some point in s3 because it was in the trailer and all …


Unfortunately I don’t get to say “I told you so” because I didn’t publish this post before then, but anyway! I’ve been looking for foreshadow of this and honestly?? If you ask me, there are hints of Red Paladin!Lance since the very first episode. (Again, I’m not suggesting Lance becomes Red Paladin forever, so please don’t kill me. But I do think Lance having some kind of connection with Red has been foreshadowed.)

- So!! In the first episode I noticed that when Allura assigns each of them a lion, she doesn’t technically assign Blue to Lance (because he interrupts her, lol). It’s just kind of assumed that he’s Blue Paladin since, well, he’s flown Blue. Now, I’m not saying he’s not the Blue Paladin––he is! Buuut I also find a couple things about this scene Intriguing:

1) Lance looks like he almost expects to be assigned the lion as Allura describes it (even though he already has a lion), and then seems a bit shocked/upset when it gets assigned to Keith instead.

2) Not only that, but you may notice the Red Lion hovers between BOTH of them, which is noteworthy because this doesn’t happen to anyone else when they get their lion assigned to them. Hmmmmmm…

- This may be an unpopular opinion but I actually … also think Lance shows some Red Paladin traits. Once again, that’s not to say that Lance doesn’t also fit into the role of Blue Paladin because of course he does, but I do think he shows traces of being capable of being Red Paladin as well.

Like listen, when Allura is assigning Red, these are her exact words: “The Red Lion is temperamental and the most difficult to master. … Its pilot needs to be someone who relies more on instincts than skill alone.”

So really the only qualifications here are: 1) Be skilled. 2) Have good instincts.

And Lance?? Fits those qualifications pretty damn well. He’s a skilled pilot, sharpshooter, and strategist. And he has very strong awareness/instincts as well (i.e. being able to identify the Rover clone super fast, being able to come up with a plan on the Balmera on the fly, etc.). There’s no reason why he can’t fly Red if you ask me.

- Also, when the Red Lion gets fire power for the first time Lance is like, “I want that!!” which is interesting … especially because (at least as far as I can remember) no one else expresses jealousy for another paladin’s lion that way.

And generally I just find it kinda funny that Lance accuses Keith of having his eye on the Blue Lion when Lance has like…canonically had his eye on the Red Lion from pretty early on. 

- In addition to all of the above, there does seem to be some foreshadow about Keith getting separated from Red (at least temporarily). i.e. he has that dream about Red rejecting him.

And there’s also that vision he has in BoM where Red is far away from him.

(Tag yourself I’m the people screaming.)

Could be coincidental …. or could be intentional to foreshadow something about a certain someone else temporarily taking over as Red Paladin.

- And lastly: it may not mean anything, but in GoLion (the original anime) Isamu/Lance was Red Paladin … So, could be a nod to the original!

And yes, he wore a blue outfit but piloted the Red Lion, don’t question it. Color coordination hadn’t been invented yet. 

What Does It Mean?!

- In general, there seems to be a lot of subtle foreshadow that there is Some kind of connection between the Red and Blue lions––or at least, to an extent, Keith and Lance have connections to each other’s lions as well as their own.

- It could mean they are both capable of piloting each other’s lions. I’ll say it again––I’m not suggesting a permanent lion swap or anything along those lines, because both paladins also have very strong connections to their own lions. (Also, I’m not sure about Blue Paladin!Keith at this point, although it’s hard to say since we don’t really know what the quintessence of the Blue Lion is yet.)

However, I think in certain situations their lions could be accepting of the other’s paladin (which of course we know is possible since Keith has piloted Black before, and in the s3 trailer it appears he does so again, as well as Lance piloting Red). So, I feel like that could be important.

- As for the reason behind this connection: It could be because their elements balance each other out (you know, the whole fire-and-ice thing), but what I’m really hoping is that there is some significance in the relationship between the previous Red & Blue Paladins (interpret that however you want––but yeah like, maybe they were good friends??? or …. more than that????) and their lions built up a strong connection because of that (or vice versa).

- TL;DR: I think it’s pretty much inevitable that Red & Blue/Keith & Lance have some kind of special connection (space ranger partners™ amiright) and if you ask me there are a lot of signs pointing in that direction. That’s all, bye.

No matter where you are in the galaxy, I will find you
And not even the universe can stop me.

Shallura Week 2017 Day 05: lost; found

All I want for s3 is for them to hug when Shiro reunites with the team again pLEASE

( Reminder: This is only an UNOFFICIAL FANART Voltron poster. The artist intended to follow the official format of the series aim to add ‘realistic’ impact to its viewers only. Just so we don’t have confusions. )

Way #latergram of breakfast but today was busy for us. 😎 We left this morning after breakfast and went hiking for four hours. (You can see a few shots in my stories on Instagram.) It was nice and easy and not too hot today. I did get more sun than I expected but at least I used my hat to protect my face. ☀️ Now that I’m looking at this photo I’m a bit hungry again, especially seeing that PB Fit swirl! 😱 We just had a massive dinner too. 😂 I hope you had a good weekend! 🌺

anonymous asked:

...But they credited you... Thats not reposting. Its just like rebloging. Cause if you put something online people are allowed to share. You're being unfair to someone who clearly follows you here, maybe even a fan! Someone who probably just wanted everyone to see how good your fanart was

Hello, anon! Thank you for coming forward with your thoughts. I figured I’d get an ask like this, just like others who joined the movement. I have a lot more asks pending but I think I’ll address yours first while the issue is fresh—

First off, I’m sorry to say right off the bat that you are wrong. Reposting is reposting. It’s not like reblogging because… it’s reposting. A reblog would have my whole post intact, including my caption (unless a boo-boo happens where my caption gets deleted, oops) and would come directly from me, as a source, easily reached with a click of a button.

That was a repost. They took screenshots of my post and re-uploaded it elsewhere, without my permission, might I add. A repost is a repost. You can try to sugarcoat it, but a repost is a repost.

Secondly, you seem to not have read or looked at my post in its entirety. Please read back on what I said about “crediting”. And, as you can see from the screencaps:

  1. they were clearly NOT following me, I underlined it—there’s a great big FOLLOW right next to my name,
  2. if they are not following me, then they couldn’t be that big of a “fan” of my work, and I actually don’t mind if people don’t follow me as long as they don’t repost my work (especially something I specifically made for my followers), and
  3. I don’t actually have “fans”—I have friends. Anyone who follow me, whether mutual or not? Friends (who like and enjoy the same things I do). And friends don’t do friends like this, fam.

Lastly, I’m being unfair? Silly anon. c: Who do you think got the short end of the stick here? Is it the reposter or me? I was the one who was taken from, and I reiterate, without permission or my knowledge. I was the one whose feelings were trampled because they couldn’t even bother to ask/check with me first. I did not name or directly link them either to make sure no harm comes to them personally. And if they are truly innocent, then they shouldn’t feel called out, yeah? Can you tell me again who was being unfair?

Thank you for your ask! I encourage more people to ask and address the issue of reposting with me and other people in the protest, because it does help to clear things up and spread awareness. I’m aware a lot of people may be confused with the concept itself, and that’s okay! We all have to learn things sometime. We are here to guide you. Just remember to be respectful! Thank you and have a good day! ٩(◕‿◕。)۶

Ok but we have never seen Lance with his hood up. Like at all in 2. Huge. Seasons. Now I want to believe that it’s a thing he does only when he is upset. Maybe homesick or feeling like a seventh wheel again or even just feeling off. One day he just comes to breakfast with his hood up and no one questions it except for Hunk and Pidge. They had seen this before and know how bad it can be. They ask him what’s up and he just says “Nothing. Everything’s down.” with a heartless laugh. And that’s enough for pidge and hunk to comfort him and ask what’s wrong. They explain it to the others who are now standing in confusion and concern and they join them in comforting the blue boy. So angst and fluff.

playing with fire

*gif credit to owner @jungkook-gifs*

pairing: you x Jungkook 

themes: idol!jungkook, friendswithbenefits!au, older!oc, older!jungkook

warnings: swearing, slightly smutty, angst, fluff

word count: 9.8+k

summary: they say friends with benefits never works. fun turns into feelings and everyone gets hurt. you and jungkook are no different to the stereotype. jungkook is in too deep for comfort and you’re not sure if you can return what he wants. after all, he is a sought after celebrity and you know the consequences of playing with a little too much fire.


The sun is bright, almost too bright as you finally open your eyes from your deep slumber. Not only is the sun too bright, but it is also too damn hot in this room. Your vision blurs together to a couple seconds before it clears, comprehending my surroundings. A familiar sight covers your eyes and you go to stretch your body out until you are halted by a heavy entity; another body. You glance up to the left to be met with soft brown hair dangling, closed eyes, and slightly parted mouth that breathes slowly in and out. Memories flash across your mind as you remember the first time you saw the now familiar face.

8 Months Ago

“A vodka tonic please,” you say confidently with a stern voice as you sit back in the barstool you resided in. The bartender gives you a nod and a smile before he starts to create the simple concoction. You grab your phone and quickly message back your roommate Jihyun who is currently drowning in school work.

this bitch seriously has the nerve to give us a twenty page paper and an entire novel due on the same day… seriously thinking about dropping out

honey, that’s what you sign up for when you go to get a phd in english 

You send the message with a quick giggle to yourself and you hear your glass finally being placed in front of you. 

“Thanks,” you smile to the bartender and you do not hesitate to pick up the glass and take a generous sip. You suddenly feel a presence two seats down from you and you glance over to find a man whose face is pretty much hidden underneath a black mask, hair covered with a black beanie. 

The guy pulls down his mask briefly to order a soju, but then all too soon he shoves the mask back up his face. You do not even realize you are still looking at him until he glances over at you, his deep brown eyes meeting yours. You tear your eyes away from him to continue sipping on your drink as you go through the different social medias on your phone. 

“You know-“ a sudden voice interrupts what you are doing and you look up, seeing that the masked boy is talking to you, “Looking at you, you seem like one of those girls who like that fruity shit that these places have, so I’m impressed,” and even though you cannot see his mouth, you sense he is smirking at his words. You get that the boy is referencing your pretty much straight vodka drink and you chuckle. 

“Well, I’m definitely not your typical girl,” you laugh, tilting your head some, turning your attention to the boy. You have been in Seoul for about a year now and it’s not strange to you that a native is talking to you, as it has happened a lot throughout the year. One thing you have noticed about Korean men, when they see a foreigner that catches their eye, they are pretty hellbent on at least having a conversation with them, if not more. Which on some occasions, you had taken up the offers. 

“What brings you here tonight?” the boy asks curiously, and to your surprise, he pulls his mask down so you can now fully see his face. You take immediate notice into how attractive he is. Kind of manly but has a boyish look at the same time. Another thing that sticks out is the scar on his cheek. 

“Well, my job has kicked my ass this week,” you breathe out, leaning your elbows on the bar giving him a curious look. “What about you?” you inquire.

The boy shrugs, “Pretty much the same reason,” he takes a big gulp of his soju. “Although, as much as I like soju, I don’t think its gonna cut it for me tonight,” he suddenly speaks up gaining your attention even more, “Hey, can I get two shots of your finest tequila,” he shoots in quick Korean and you raise an eyebrow at him. 

The bartender quickly gets the man his shots before he slides one over to you. You give him a curious look before you smirk, grabbing the small glass. 

“Cheers,” he gives you a deep smile within his eyes and you both tip the glasses back, feeling the burn in the back of you throat as the liquid glides down the pipe. 

You and this boy, which you finally learn his name to be Jeongguk, actually end up getting on pretty well. He moves down a seat so you two are now beside each other emerged into conversation. Jeongguk continues to order a couple more shots for the both of you and before you know it, both of you are basically drunk and both of you are really into each other. 

The next thing you know, you both are leaving the bar in a hurry, masks going on both of your faces and you do not know how long it takes for the two of you to be stumbling into his apartment complex, lips on each others like fire, hands tugging and pulling at clothes, and soon, you are underneath him, your nails digging into his flesh as you seal everything with a kiss. 


Jeongguk’s body stirs as you try to pry your legs away from the mess underneath the sheets. Once you are finally free from the overly hot space, you glance up and to your disappointment, you had in fact woken him up. His brown eyes stare back at you for a small smile forms on his lips. 

“Good morning,” he says simply, stretching his arms a little above his head. “Why the hell is it a million degrees in this room?” he suddenly perks up, giving you a weird look. 

“I’m wondering the same thing, although my intuition tells me that it is the work of Jimin,” you say with a small laugh as the two of you naturally separate yourselves on the bed to make it more comfortable. “And as I always say, a woman’s intuition is never wrong,” you give Jeongguk a smirk. 

He returns one as he gets up from the bed and you do not even bother to look away from his naked frame as you have seen it many times now. He pulls on a pair of his grey sweatpants before going to the door, peeking his head out. 

“Jimin, I swear if this house doesn’t feel like Antarctica in twenty minutes I’m going to kill you!” he half heartedly shouts and you cannot help but laugh at his humor. It’s not that his “threat” was funny, it’s funny because even though he is man, he is basically a kid inside. Jeongguk shuts his door again before turning his attention back to you. 

You pull up the covers over your naked torso as you reach over to the nightstand and grab your glasses, as you were not dealing with your contacts today. In an instant, you look up for a split second and your lips are caught on his in a welcoming, soft kiss. You sigh into the kiss, savoring it sweetly.

“We have dance practice and rehearsals pretty much all day today,” he says as he gently pulls away from you. 

“When don’t you,” you say rhetorically, giving him a light chuckle. Jeongguk raises his eyebrows before tilting his head reluctantly. 

“If we have spare time, maybe you can come over again or we can go out to do something?” he offers as he gives you a big sweatshirt to put on for the time being. 

You and Jeongguk’s story may have started that one fateful night at a random bar in Seoul, but so far, it has almost been like a Harry Potter book; never ending. No, you two were not dating. Yes, you two did hang out a lot which often turned into heated and lustful sex. Did you two mind it? Hell no. You can remember the night he talked about his plan with you like it was the back of your palm. 


7 Months Ago

“What did you just ask me?” you ask, your tone high and your eyes wide. You looked at Jeongguk as if he was insane. You are just happy that his roommate Jimin is not here to hear this conversation.

Jeongguk honestly had not planned on you questioning his proposition so he was a little stumped to say the least. 

“Uh,” he starts, “Let me rephrase,” he pauses again, looking deep into your eyes, a little unsure about his idea now that you have cocked an unexpected attitude with him. “How would you like it if we, like us… were kind of…like there for each other in times of um, sexual…needs,” he says slowly but he still manages to stumble over his words. 

You give him a blank look, blinking a few times trying to comprehend what he just said. 

You open your mouth hesitantly, “So.. you basically want to be fuck buddies with me?” you raise your eyebrow at him. 

He opens his mouth as if he is going to shoot you another long answer, but instead he sighs, scratching the back of his head, “Yeah..” he says slowly and you can see a pink color beginning to rise upon his cheeks. 

“Hm-“ you start to say something before he interjects you. 

“I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to, honestly it was stupid of me to ask, but I mean,we can also just try it out to see how we like it, I mean I won’t even be here a lot but for when I am here I guess, there always is that saying don’t knock it until you try it-“ 

“Jeon,” you say sternly, suppressing a laugh inside of your throat, “Slow down,” you finally release your laugh and he breathes out heavily as if he just got a weight off of his chest. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, his shyness coming out. Jeongguk is a lot more shy than you expected. The night you first slept together he was open like a book, but I guess alcohol can do that to you. Suddenly, he begins to start talking again however you zone out for a moment, deciding to think about his proposition. At first, you did think the idea was crazy, but after getting to know him for about a month after you slept with each other, and you cannot forget when you did sleep with each other how good it was. Besides, he was fun to hang out with and you love sex, so what could go wrong?

“Sure,” you interject quickly, not even realizing you said that out loud until you see Jeongguk’s shocked facial expression. 

“Really?” he says surprised, licking his lips quickly. 

You take in a deep breath, “Yes, but only if we can stay friends and not have this become awkward, I like your cooking and Jimin too much,” you say confidently. He gives you a reassuring look before agreeing to it. 

Ten minutes later, you two are back in his bedroom, already putting the plan into affect. 


“If we have spare time, maybe you can come over again or we can go out to do something?” Jeongguk’s question rings through your head again, kind of taken aback by the idea. 

In the eight months you have known him, you two rarely went out, and when you did, it was on your terms to get groceries or something like that. You two never really went on “dates” simply because of the fact of who he was. 

“Hm?” you inquire, hinting the obvious attitude in your tone. While Jeongguk does wear masks, some people’s eyesight is too great for the fabric covering his face. He gives you a weird look before opening his mouth again. 

“I mean, don’t you wanna get out of our apartments once in awhile?” he says, his eyes lighting up at the idea. “We could go see a late movie or something?” 

“But we’re not dating,” you shoot your answer out quicker than you expected, not thinking it through. “And plus, you know the risks about going out, hell you barely go out by yourself,” you say looking at him intensely. 

Jeongguk stays quiet, looking around his room for a moment. For a twenty-three year old, he was still childish and craved attention like a baby, which is what you concluded for the reason of his proposition of going out. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” he says after a moment of silence, scratching the back of his head. All of a sudden your stomach growls loudly and he laughs, “You hungry?” 

“Can you tell?” you laugh, throwing your hair up into a ponytail on top of your head, raising an eyebrow towards him. 

“Come on, I’ll fix you something,” he says offering you a hand to get you out of his bed. You take it generously, however you drop it as soon as you stand up. The past seven months, you meant what you said when you did not want things to become awkward. That is why you, perhaps more so than Jeongguk, have avoided the “couple” stuff. Once again you blamed his inner child craving attention for his attempts of extra affection towards you. Before you leave his room, you glance around seeing the piles of records, achievements, and posters, reminding you perhaps the main reason you have kept your distance from Jeongguk - although your stubbornness would never let you think that. 


6 Months Ago 

It was a Friday night. You were in pajamas, curled up on the couch of your apartment, finishing up some paperwork for your job due on Monday. Normally on a Friday you would be heading over to Jimin’s and Jeongguk’s place, however, for the past two weeks Jeongguk said he was going home to visit family since he has not seen them for awhile. 

“[y/n]?” Jihyun’s voice echoes through the hallway, quite loudly you must say. 
“Yes?” you say, glancing away from the workload in front of you for what seems like the first time in four hours. 

“Come here,” she says in a wary tone. You move all of the stuff on top of you to your right before you make your way down the hall, into her bedroom. 

“What?” you ask. 

“What did you say that guy’s name was you’ve been hanging out with?” she looks at you as she closes the book I presume is for university on her bed. 

“Jeongguk, why?” you answer simply. You obviously did not give much details about the relationship you two had, but you had figured being the good person you are, Jihyun would want to know where you were going every weekend. She has met him a couple times, although his face mask was only off completely one time for her to see him fully. 

“Isn’t.. that.. him?” she points to the TV in front of her bed, a confused look on her face. You glance over to the TV doing a double take. Your eyes widen at the TV, as your mouth gapes open slightly. You both tune into the TV, listening to the broadcaster. 

“Bangtan Sonyeondan has comeback for one last time before their eldest member Jin, enrolls into the military early next year. Jin, Suga, J-Hope, leader Rap Monster, V, Jimin, and maknae Jungkook are all very excited yet very emotional about the new comeback.” 

Suddenly the camera pans over the people she named and you feel your heart stop when you see Jeongguk, your Jeongguk, or now you guess Jungkook, on national TV, smiling and bubbly as ever. You also see Jimin! What?!

“What the fuck?!” you yell looking over to Jihyun, “He’s a k-pop star?!” you say in disbelief, “Did you know about this?” you look over to her and she puts her hands up in defense. 

“No, I swear!” she says glancing back over to the TV. 

“I thought you were into that k-pop stuff? How did you not know? You’re Korean for godsakes! I’m the one who should be out of the loop,” you say, not meaning to ramble so much but you honestly cannot believe what you are seeing. Did he think you were never going to find out? 

“I was into that shit when I was like sixteen, I-I mean I’ve know of Bangtan for a few years, but they’ve all grown up, I don’t know, I just didn’t recognize them I guess, but one thing is for sure, that is definitely the Jeongguk you’ve brought over here before,” she states, her tone showing confusion herself. 

“Oh my god,” you breathe out glancing over to the TV, seeing his face alone on the TV. 
“We cannot wait to see what this comeback has in store for us, please love and support Bangtan! Fighting!” Jeongguk flashes his perfect - wait no, just smile giving the camera guy two peace signs. 

“I am going to kill him,” you say, watching his every move on the TV. “Yup, I’m gonna kill him.” 

It is approximately four days after the TV incident when Jeongguk texts you about wanting to see you since he is back in town. 

“Back in town my ass,” you scoff to yourself, looking at the message. 

The past four days have allowed to think about what you have with Jeongguk a lot. He is now a popular, very sought after male idol who can make anyone thirst for his attention. You did your research on him trying to dig up anything he had never spoken about. So many award show appearances, awards, albums, tours, endorsements, rumors, and more; all with his face attached to each thing you look at. 

You moved to Korea not even blinking about getting into k-pop. Obviously you know about it as it is practically one of Korea’s proudest exports, however you saw it as something only teenagers should crave over, not your now twenty-four year old self. 

Realizing the power and influence Jeongguk had intimidated you. And you were not one to be intimidated. You now understood why he wore black masks everywhere. You now understood why you two never went out. And you now understood why he asked you to be friends with benefits since he obviously did not have the time to have a relationship - not that you were looking, but everything made sense now. 

You down at his message one more time before simply replying; 


That night, he texts you when he is almost at your apartment. You had told Jihyun you were going to confront him and thankfully, she had a night class on Thursdays so she would not be home at least until 10 or 11. 

You hear sudden knocks on your door and you do not even have to guess who it is. You open it to find him with a mask and a black hat covering his brown locks, which now look lighter as some peep through the bottom of the cap. 

“Hey [y/n],” he says with a smile on his face as you close the door, locking it back in place. “Sorry, my flight from Busan got delayed earlier, so I should have been back earlier,” he says completely taking his mask off. 

You look at him, taking in his handsome features, pursing your lips you cross your arms over your chest slightly hiding yourself. 

“What’s wrong?” he says, immediately noticing a change from your usual flirty and humorous self. 

You had thought about how you were going to approach this conversation and being the strong, stubborn woman you were, you were not going to tip-toe around your point. 

“Do you think I’m stupid?” you say bluntly, him quickly being caught off guard from your words. 

“W-what?” he says, giving you a weird look. 

“Did you think I wasn’t going to find out? Find out about you? A-and Jimin too!” you say, having to bite your tongue at the anger you have been feeling the past few days. 

“What are you talking about?” he spits at you, his tone raising himself. Although, something in his eyes says he knows exactly what you are talking about. 

“Don’t play dumb with me,” you say rolling your eyes, “I know you weren’t in Busan Jeongguk,” you say shaking your head some. 

He opens his mouth but closes it quickly, as if he is unsure what to say. He breathes out heavily, closing his eyes briefly, “I-I’m sorry,” he says in a low voice, “I was trying to protect you,” he sighs. 

“I’m twenty-four years old Jeongguk, I think I can protect myself,” you shoot back as you can feel your face turning red. 

“No, not-like.. that,” he shakes his head, “My job is practically my life, it has been for nearly eight years… I-I know how ruthless outsiders can be not only to me, but others around me and I didn’t want that for you, hell you’re a foreigner you definitely don’t deserve that shit,” he says taking a step closer to you. 

You take a slow deep breath before saying what you needed to say, “I don’t think we need to continue this,” you say softly. 

“What?” Jeongguk pipes up, searching your eyes for answers. You look away, trying your best for him to understand. 

“I can’t keep doing this now that I know who you are,” you shake your head, “It’s not fair to me-“ 

“Wait, wait, hold up,” he interrupts you, “I’ve been an idol the whole time, what is the problem now that you know? Shouldn’t you be glad that you have an explanation for some of the stupid shit you know I make up?” 

You give him a weird look, “Jeongguk, you don’t understand, I thought you were a normal guy I met at a bar and someone I could have sex with once in awhile,” you spill truthfully. “I-I’m sorry, I just can’t do this anymore, it’s too weird for me.” 

He does not react at first and he looks around the apartment, as if he trying to think of something to say. You do not know why but you expected him to obliged and just gather his things to forget about you forever. Besides, he is a handsome celebrity, he could find any girl willing to sleep with him. 

However, Jeongguk does not leave and suddenly, he surprises you by doing the unthinkable. He strides a step towards you and crashes his lips down onto yours. At first your eyes are wide but soon after, you close them and bring your hands to his neck pulling him closer to you. The kiss has force behind of it, but he is gentle with you at the same time. You snap back into reality and push him away slowly. 

“Just let me show you I can be that normal guy you can have sex with once in awhile,” he says still holding your body close to him. You cannot help but get lost in his big brown eyes, after all they were the first feature you saw of his. 

“Fine,” you say and you feel him relax beneath your touch, “But don’t drag me into that world or whatever, I like being normal.” 

“I wouldn’t even think about babe,” he says with a smirk, leaning down to give you another small kiss which leaves a weird sensation in your stomach, although you cannot tell if it is good or bad. 

You remember the day you tried to break things off with Jeongguk vividly. It was so weird because you had never seen that side of him being so gentle and pleading so much. At least not in just a normal conversation. The same feeling that settled in your stomach that night he kissed you, now shows up every time he kisses you. You do think that Jeongguk is very attractive and one of the nicest guys you have met while living here, however, you do not let that distract you from the fact he is an idol. As much as your heart wants to like him on a deeper level, you refuse to bring yourself to do it. Besides, mixing feelings with sex with two people not in a relationship is never a good thing. 

To Jeongguk, that night in your apartment when you tried to end the “relationship,” he was scared for a moment. Obviously, he loved having sex with you, but building up to that, deep down he knew he had begun to develop feelings for you. After he kissed you with no sexual encounter in mind, something inside of him felt different. The underlying feelings he had for you began to set on fire inside of him. Now, every time he looks at you, a small pain hurts in his chest due to repressing his feelings. Jeongguk slightly vented about his feelings about you to Jimin one day after they had a few beers. Jimin basically said the cliche, “don’t mix feelings with sex.” It was all horse-shit to Jeongguk. He liked you too damn much not to try. So that is what he started to do. Try. 


“Hey [y/n], I got out earlier than expected, will you please just go out somewhere with me, I’m literally so bored,” Jeongguk begs to you on the phone as you make yourself some decaf coffee; your de-stress best friend, minus alcohol. 

“Uh,” you look at the time, 9:04, “I don’t know Jeongguk, it’s getting late,” you say. 

“Please [y/n], I just want to do something with you that does not involve a bed and moaning, although I am always down though,” he adds the last part quietly and you laugh to yourself rolling your eyes at him. 

“I don’t know,” you mumble, biting on your nails for a moment. You honestly could not figure out why he was being so persistent. 

“[y/n] please,” he drags out and you being you, you give into his word. “It’s better for me to go out at night anyways, less likely to be seen.” 

“Fine, take me to get ice cream,” you state, suddenly craving the sweet treat. 

“Hell yes, I’ll be over in ten minutes,” and with that he hangs up the phone. You let out a sigh before going to tell Jihyun you and Jeongguk are going out for ice cream. 

“Wow, you two are actually going out?” she inquires as you begin to freshen yourself up by putting on a clean pair of jeans and a simple sweater. “I thought you were against the couple stuff?”

“I am,” you state, throwing on a jacket over the sweater knowing it is pretty chilly this time of the year. 

“Then what are you doing?” she fires back.


“You say you hate that stuff yet you’re going to get ice cream with someone who is basically your boyfriend-“

“No he’s not,” you interject, shaking your head. You can see Jihyun rolling her eyes at you out of your peripheral vision, but you ignore her. You both hear knocks on the door and they are all too familiar. You rush to the door and slip your tennis shoes on quickly. 

“Hey,” Jeongguk smiles at you and surprisingly, his mask is already down.
“Hi,” you say grabbing your purse as you throwing it over your body, “I’ll be back!” you yell to Jihyun down the hallway. 

“I’ll be asleep!” she yells back which makes the both of you laugh. 

You two start to walk towards the elevator of the apartment complex before Jeongguk stops you, “Here,” he says handing you a white mask. You sigh, knowing that it is necessary even though it makes you feel anything but normal. 

Your heart pounds the whole time you and Jeongguk are walking down the busy streets of Seoul to get to your favorite ice cream parlor. You knew at any moment a fan of his could pop out of nowhere and figure out it was their beloved Jungkook behind the mask. You stayed close to him not wanting to become separated due to all of the people, even at this late hour. Once you finally arrive at the ice cream parlor, you are the one who takes off the mask, letting him keep his on. 

You order vanilla for him and mint-chocolate chip for yourself, becoming innerly excited about eating the sweet treat. 

After Jeongguk pays, he leads you to an outside area with tables and benches which have been decorated in pretty lights. He finds a seat for the two of you in perhaps the darkest area of the whole place before slipping his mask off. 

“Thank you for the ice cream,” you smile at him and he returns one. 

“No problem,” he shrugs, keeping his voice low. It’s times like this where you continue to question what you have with him. The friends with benefits thing is not normal in itself, however, not even able to do the “friends” part right is downright shitty. 

“How was today?” you ask him. 

He shrugs, “Same old, same old, it’s still weird not having Jin there though,” he mutters the last part, sadness covering his tone.

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s fine though,” you say trying to cheer him up.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk lets out a short laugh before taking in a big scoop of his ice cream.

You decide to perk up the conversation by asking your deepest curiosity.
“Why did you want to go out so bad?” you ask simply, thinking it was an innocent question. 

Jeongguk’s brown eyes look at you intensely, “I mean, I like spending time with you so why not?” he shrugs continuing to eat his ice cream. 

“You do?” you question, sounding a little dumbfounded. You never really thought about spending more time with him than you already do, at least outside of the bedroom. 

“I’ve kept up with you for eight months, so.. yeah.. kinda,” he chuckles giving you a weird look you cannot read. 

“Is Jimin still the only one who knows about this.. me?” you ask curiously. 

“As far as I know, but I think Tae is suspicious of something,” he says truthfully. 

“What’s their to be suspicious of? It’s not like we’re together so there’s no dirt really to dish there,” you say not thinking twice about what you were saying. 

Suddenly, Jeongguk opens his mouth hesitantly, like he does not really know what he is about to say, “I mean.. we basically are,” he says giving you a glance. Your eyebrows furrow, shooting him a weird look. 

“I don’t think so,” you laugh, brushing off his antics. 

“Why couldn’t it be?” Jeongguk all of a sudden shoots a question that you were not expecting. You look over to him quickly. 

“W-what?” you stare at him with a confused expression. 

“I mean, it-it’s just..” he pauses, shaking his head, “Never mind, we should get going, it’s getting late plus I need to be back at the apartment,” he changes the subject quickly, although his words are still stuck in your head. 

Why couldn’t it be? What did he mean by that? 

“Uh, yeah okay,” you say quietly, trying your best to shove those words out of your head, however words are easier to express than actions. 

The entire way back to your apartment is dead silent and you do not find yourself walking as close to Jeongguk as before. Your stomach is fluttering with a sick feeling. Your relationship or whatever anyone wanted to call it with Jeongguk you had thought was strictly just sex and maybe a few movies here and there. However, with Jeongguk’s words tonight, your idea about the relationship obviously was not on the same page as him. Frankly, that scared you. You decided to blame his weird words on his exhaustion and age. Like you have said before, he is younger and he wants attention. That is all it is.
Soon after the mental struggle ends in your head, you are standing at the door of your apartment with him. 

“Thanks for the ice cream again,” you finally break the silence between the two of you. Jeongguk smiles down at you, shrugging his shoulders. “Do you wanna come in?” you ask trying to break the tension between you two. 

“No, it’s fine, I gotta head back,” he says simply before taking a deep breath, “I’ll let you go.” 

“Okay, night Jeongguk,” you say turning around to unlock you door, however your arm is caught and you are whipped around again to be met with lips in front of you and the door against your back. 

It takes you a second to realize Jeongguk is kissing you, holding you close to him. The kiss is gentle, sweet, and tender. The same sickly-butterfly feeling drops into your stomach again. You kiss him back but you push yourself away gently after a few moments, slightly freaking out on the inside. 

“Goodnight, [y/n],” he says simply before placing a simple kiss on your nose, leaving you be, by yourself leaning against the door to your apartment.
Why couldn’t it be? 


The next few days are all a blur to you. You go to work, get drinks with Jihyun when she is free, and watch some shows on Netflix. Jeongguk has texted you multiple times however, you only reply occasionally. You were honestly surprised he had been able to text you so much considering him and the boys went to Japan for a few days for business. 

Ever since the night you two went to get ice cream, something inside of you felt different. As much as you wanted to suppress the thought, you could not hide the fact that there was something going on with Jeongguk. He is becoming more persistant about wanting to hang out, more open with his words, and more willing. Your intuition never proved you wrong and this time, your intuition is telling you that Jeongguk has feelings for you. As much as you wanted to deny it, you have been with too many guys and you know the signs like the back of your hand. 

As much as you like Jeongguk yourself, you do not know if you could handle being with him one-hundred percent. Just maybe if he wasn’t who he was, you would perhaps think about diving deeper into the relationship you shared, but you refused. You were not going to get hurt, or played, or made a fool out of. You were there for the sex and the sex only. 

You were in your room watching TV, sleep almost taking over your body but suddenly you hear knocks on the front door down the hallway. You almost rolled your eyes not wanting to get up from your comfortable bed, but you knew Jihyun definitely was not going to get up. 

You slowly walk down the hallway cursing to yourself wondering if it is the landlord of the apartment building because you suddenly could not remember if you and Jihyun had payed the rent last month. 

You quickly open the door and your eyes open wide at the sight. 

“Jeongguk?” you say in disbelief and you suddenly aren’t so tired anymore. 

“Hey,” he smiles at you before you step aside for him to come in. 
“I thought you were in Japan?” you question slowly, not sure if you are happy to see him or not. 

“We got back a couple hours ago,” he states in low voice, taking note that Jihyun was in her bedroom. 

“What are you doing here?” you say, the words coming out more spiteful than you meant them to. 

“I came to see you,” he says with an obvious ‘duh’ tone to his deep voice. 

“Jeongguk it’s late and I’m sure you’re tired-“

“What’s been up with you lately?” Jeongguk suddenly interrupts your sentence and you look him questioningly. 

“W-what?” you ask, “Nothing?” 

“Can we go in your room?” he suddenly asks. 

You shake your head some, “Why? Jeongguk-“ 

“Seriously I just wanna talk, just in a private space where your roommate can’t hear everything,” he explains and reluctantly you lead him to your room down the hallway. He had been here many times but this was the first time you felt queazy to your stomach. 

You shut the door to your room, the dim lamp on your desk providing the only light source at the moment. 

“What do you wanna talk about?” you ask crossing your arms over your chest. You didn’t even realize it until he observes your body, but you are wearing one of his sweatshirts he absentmindedly gave you. 

“You,” he says simply. You give him a weird look, mumbling a “hm” before he opens his mouth again, “Why have you been ignoring me?” 

“I haven’t,” you interject. 

“Yes, you have, you only texted me back three times while I was away, did I do something wrong?” his words are fast and panicked like he is unsure of how to word his sentences. You stare at him in disbelief, trying to hide your stiffness in your body. Jeongguk was a smart boy and he was catching on to what you were doing. 

“No, you haven’t,” you shake your head. 

“Then what’s the issue, I’ve never felt more distant from you than ever before,” he sounds confused and unsure; his immaturity and insecurity coming through. 

You have two answers to his question. The first answer was to lie and say work has been stressing you out or the second answer which is truthful to be something like, saying you’re just scared because you feel like he has feelings for you and you don’t know what to do. 

“We’re friends Jeongguk, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say nonchalantly, trying your best to lie to a man who has given you so much. 

“[y/n], c’mon I know you,” he persists. 

You stay silent, looking at the boy intensely. 

“I-I,” you stutter, biting your lip hard, “It’s nothing, work has just been rough lately, I’m sorry if you feel that way, I didn’t mean to ignore you,” you lie right through your teeth and you swear you see Jeongguk’s body relax. 

Jeongguk slowly nods his head as if he understands your situation, “Okay, I was just worried about you, you know?” he says cocking his head to the right for a second, a habit of his you have noticed. 

“Yeah, I’m fine though,” you breathe out giving him a reassuring smile. 

“Good,” he says simply. You glance over to the clock in your room which reads 11:34 PM. You two suddenly hear loud pounding against the windows to your room and you walk over revealing behind your curtain, rain. Really harsh rain. “Shit,” Jeongguk mutters. 

Without even thinking you say, “You can stay here if you want.” You suddenly regret your words, but there is nothing you can do about it now that the offer has been thrown up in the air. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to in-“

“Jeongguk its fine,” you interrupt him.

“Okay,” he breathes out, “I’ll sleep on the couch,” he states beginning to leave your room. 

“Jeongguk seriously you’ve stayed with me before, just stay here,” you offer not wanting to argue this arrangement. You know it is not the best idea considering your suspicions but it is the least you can do. 

“Fine,” he agrees, “But don’t hog the bed again,” he mumbles as he takes his shoes and other clothing off. 

“Again?!” you state, “You’re the one who is twice my size!” you justify giving him a glare. 

“I’m kidding [y/n],” he laughs. 

“Better be,” you say underneath your breath as you crawl back into your bed, turning your attention back to the paused Netflix. Jeongguk follows you before you press play on the remote again. 

Without warning Jeongguk pulls you closer to him, your head fitting in the crook of his neck but you keep your attention on the TV. This is so wrong, you think to yourself. You definitely should not be leading him on when all you signed up for was the sex. Which you two have not had in about two weeks. However, after all these months, you could not help but finally realize how good it felt to be in his arms. 

You slowly find yourself becoming more and more tired, leaning onto Jeongguk as your body falls limp and the last thing you remember was his hand entangling into yours.


The night Jeongguk stayed over at your house, is when everything became even more confusing than before. You found yourself tugging and pulling at your emotions as you had no idea what you were feeling. 

Jeongguk was still continuing to be persistent as ever. You did not mind the attention, however it further confused and scared you. Your heart was saying yes, but your head was saying no. You did not know what to do. So, your next plan was to call in the wingman; Jimin. 

You were meeting Jimin at small cafe you knew was never busy so there was little chance of him becoming recognized. By the time you ordered drinks for Jimin and yourself, he had arrived with a white mask over his face. 

You greeted each other before finding a table in the very back of the cafe.  

“I was gonna ask why you wanted to meet but my gut is telling me its about Jeongguk,” Jimin laughs as he pulls of his mask. 

“Your gut is right,” you chuckle taking a sip of your coffee. 

“I’m all ears,” he says with a small smile. One reason why you really liked Jimin is that he has never seemed to judge you for doing the whole friends with benefits things with Jeongguk - at least you hoped he hasn’t.

You take a breath, not wanting to load too much on him at once, “It’s just… I don’t know, he’s been acting different for the past few months and I’ve only really noticed it now,” you say hoping that Jimin will have some answers for you. 

“Hm, he’s said the same thing about you,” he laughs and you focused your full attention on him, ignoring the coffee. 

“Really?” you pipe up. 

“Yeah, all that kid does is talk about you,” he laughs taking a drink. You suddenly feel your cheeks blush a light pink. 

“I just, need to know-“

“Know that… if he likes you or not? Or if he’s still just thinking about the sex?” he interrupts you with a blunt answer. 

“Yeah..” you say slowly, honestly not believing that you are having this conversation with Jimin right now. 

“I mean, it’s not really my place to tell you,” he shrugs, “But, he’s in pretty deep for you,” he says simply and your stomach drops, unsure if it was good or bad drop. “I know you two have had this whole friends with benefits situation for awhile, but feelings developing was bound to happen with one of you, if not both,” he says and your mouth goes dry knowing he is right. 

“Why hasn’t he said anything?” you ask. 

“If he hasn’t said anything, he’s probably just scared or intimidated,” Jimin says honestly, “You know [y/n], you’re the one girl he’s ever been with who has never wanted anything from and I think he likes that, he can just be himself around you,” he explains and you feel a weird fluttery feeling form in your stomach. “Just curious, do you like him?” he asks. 

“Yes,” you say without hesitation, “Wait, well, yes but… I don’t know,” you say in defeat. “It’s just so confusing and it scares me because of who he is,” you say truthfully. 

“Not to put pressure on you, but I think you really should just talk this out with him, I know it may be weird but you both can’t keep pulling each other around,” Jimin says and you nod your head slowly, completely understanding where he is coming from. 

You feel your body relax as you take a deep breath, “Thanks Jimin,” you give him a small smile before the two of you raise your cups to finish drinking the sweet coffee. 


“Jeon stop it!” you screech, “I swear to god if you don’t stop!” you try your best to push his hands off of you since he refuses to stop tickling you.  

“What are you gonna do about it?” he threatens, stopping momentarily. 

“I will hit you where it hurts the most,” you say. 

“You wouldn’t,” he mutters and before he has a chance to start tickling you again, you bring you hand down to his precious cargo barely missing it before he yelps backing up. “Okay…you would, note taken,” he says shaking his head backing away from you. 

You two had consumed one too many bottles of soju, but hey it is a Saturday night and Jeongguk and the boys had the day off. Jimin had went off with one of the other guys Taehyung earlier so he had no idea the trouble you and Jeongguk were getting in at the moment. You had yet to talk to Jeongguk like Jimin said, but you were going to get to it eventually. You just weren’t sure if you were ready to hear Jeongguk’s story yet. 

“Are you drunk yet?” you mumble to Jeongguk who gives you a dopey smile. 

“I’m on the way there,” he says with a laugh. 

“Me too…” you giggle, “More beer!” you then exclaim reaching forward opening another soju for you and him to share. 

The two of you pass the beer back and forth until its contents are empty and before you know it, you find yourself leaning onto Jeongguk’s shoulder, his arm instinctively wrapping around you. 

“I have a question,” he mutters and you mumble a ‘hm’ in response, “Were you really that drunk the first night we met?” 

“That was so long ago,” you say quietly, “I don’t remember it really,” you say as the alcohol was beginning to catch up with you. 

“I remember everything,” Jeongguk says suddenly and you shift in his grip. You glance up to him to find his doe eyes staring back at you. 

Before you have a chance to answer him, he closes the small gap between the two of you, his lips finding yours naturally. You move your body to be more comfortable as you kiss him back gently, his hands resting on your neck and jaw pulling you closer to him. The alcohol in your system fuels the fire in your stomach, however you still are not drunk enough to give into him. You can’t do this to him. So you pull away, or at least try because Jeongguk’s grip only gets stronger when you try to pull away. You put your hands on his chest pushing away harshly from him again breaking the kiss. 


“Stop pushing me away,” he interrupts, his eyes searching yours desperately. 

“W-what?” you stutter. 

“Stop pushing me away,” he repeats, his grip on your waist tightening as every second goes by. 

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about?” you say watching as his eyes become darker and darker, almost like he is angry. 

“Yes you do,” his teeth grit, “Do you not see it?”

“See what Jeongguk?” you say blindly and you feel like if you were completely sober you would know what was going on. However, deep down you did know exactly what he was talking about. 

“Do you not see me? I’m trying so hard and all you’ve done is push me away,” he says with strain to his voice, his fingertips digging into your sides but you try your best to ignore the pain. 

“Jeongguk why are you talking about this now? Can’t this wait-“

“No it can’t!” he interjects you with anger, “I want you so bad [y/n] and you can’t even see it,” he then sounds defeated and you feel yourself instantly sober up. The words you were dreading to hear, finally admitted. Your stomach drops. 

“Your drunk Jeongguk, don’t say that,” you say trying to make up an excuse for yourself so you don’t have to face this. 

“I am not,” he shoots, “[y/n], I know we met and had this plan but I couldn’t help it, every time I look at you I fall even deeper than before, I want to be with you, I’ve never wanted anyone to myself this bad before-“

“Jeongguk I-I can’t,” you shake you head trying to back off of him but his strength refuses you to. 

“Please [y/n],” he pleads, “Give me one chance to prove it to you.” 

You swallow harshly looking away from him for a moment, leaning into his body. You don’t know what he meant by prove it to you but with the alcohol in your system, much like the first night you two had together, you give into him, kissing him passionately. 

Minutes pass and you don’t know when it happens but you two find yourself in his bedroom, now an all too familiar sight to you. The kisses you two share are heated, but they are also slow and sweet, his arms wrapping around you tightly. It felt like it had been so long since you two had been intimate together and the more you kiss, each clothing item being stripped, the more you realize how much you loved it. 

He knew exactly how to work your body and give you what you needed. Seconds go by and turn into minutes quickly, everything turning into a blur. The two of you had never been intimate in this way before; gentle, slow, and loving. You and Jeongguk felt like the only two people in the world as each gasp and moan that comes out of the both of you heightens all of the emotions shared. With each thrust, Jeongguk holds onto you tighter and tighter like this would ever be the last time. Both of you reach your highs and you whisper his name to him repeatedly, holding him close to you, sweat the only barrier between you two. 

A few minutes later, your head is resting on his chest, his arm holding on your waist tightly. Not many words are exchanged, but the breathing in the room is enough noise for the two of you. When you feel sleep starting to take over your body, Jeongguk nudges you. 

“[y/n],” he whispers. 
“Hm,” you mumble closing your eyes, drawing patterns on his chest with your nails. 

“I think I’m in love with you,” he says and you feel your heart stop, your face becomes red, and your stomach flips. 


“You don’t have to say anything,” he says. 

So, you don’t. You hold onto him and suddenly feel the smallest tears form in your eyes. The tears are not from sadness, but they’re from how you have no idea if you can return the love that this man deserves. 


It is around 6 AM when you hear the front door to Jeongguk’s apartment opening and you assume it is Jimin. You also realize that you need to go. You cannot wake up with Jeongguk this morning. The shame will just break your heart even further. Carefully and quietly, you push yourself away from his body and you manage to do so without waking him. 

You gather your clothing successfully before you give him one last glance, you leave his room, closing his door quietly. It will be the first time one of you walked out on one another. 

Unexpectedly, you run into Jimin in the kitchen on your way out. 

“[y/n]? What are you doing?” he asks. “You’re not leaving are you?” 

“Don’t tell him you saw me, please,” you say quietly. “I need time Jimin,” you say and he nods, knowing exactly what you are talking about.

With that, you leave their apartment and you leave Jeongguk alone. 


A couple hours later Jeongguk wakes up alone. He slightly panics when you are not beside of him and he immediately gets up throwing on a pair of sweatpants, hoping you are out in the kitchen or something. 

Jeongguk is disappointed when you are nowhere to be found. 

“Jimin-hyung,” he calls and soon Jimin appears. 

“What?” Jimin mumbles trying to shake off the sleep and the rough night he had with Taehyung at a bar. 

“Where’s [y/n]?” Jeongguk asks quickly. 

Jimin shrugs, “I’d figure she was with you,” he replies (lies) quickly. As much as Jeongguk wants to believe his hyung; the way he is so calm is peculiar. 

“Jimin,” he says again, “Where is she?” he pushes and Jimin relaxes, letting out a breath. As much as Jimin liked you, Jeongguk basically was his little brother; he couldn’t hide anything from him. 

“She left around 6, I ran into her when I got home,” Jimin says. 

What the fuck, Jeongguk curses to himself. “Fuck,” he mutters out loud this time. 

“What happened to you two last night, she never leaves,” Jimin inquires, although he already knows some of the story. 

“I confessed Jimin-hyung,” Jeongguk breathes out, “We were drinking and it just came out,” he says. Jimin stares at him for moment, shocked. 

“Did she say anything?” Jimin asks. 

“Not really,” Jeongguk shakes his head, “Seeing that she left, I guess I didn’t need much of an answer.” 

“Jeongguk, you need to talk to her,” Jimin says, “She’s stubborn we both know that. If she didn’t like you back, she wouldn’t have stayed around for the past eight months,” he continues, his words making sense to Jeongguk, but he was still uneasy. 

“Jimin I don’t know,” he shakes his head running a hand through his hair, irritation building up in him. 

“Just go talk to her, I’m sure she’s at her apartment, you two can work this out,” Jimin comes closer to Jeongguk giving him a pat on the back, “Besides Jeongguk, you pretty much always get whatever you set your mind to,” Jimin gives him words of encouragement, making Jeongguk smile. 

“Thanks Jimin-hyung,” Jeongguk says, hoping that Jimin is for once, right.  


“Where is [y/n]?” Jeongguk asks, when to his disappointment Jihyun opened the door to the apartment. 

“What did you do to her?” Jihyun retorts with a sassy attitude. 

“What?” Jeongguk says with a confused face, “Nothing.. I just need to talk to her,” he continues. 

“You obviously did something because she showed up here crying at the ass crack of dawn,” she snaps and Jeongguk’s stomach drops. Crying? 

“Jihyun, please I just need to talk to her,” Jeongguk pleads with your roommate and she rolls her eyes. 

“She’s outside in the courtyard, but I swear if you do anything funny I’ll kill you,” Jihyun threatens seriously and Jeongguk nods quickly obliging. Jihyun shuts the door and Jeonggul quickly makes his way out to the courtyard of the apartments you and Jihyun lived in. 

The complex was basically a square open in the middle which contained a courtyard and a pool for the warmer months. 

Jeongguk looks around quickly, being able to spot you as there were very few people outside due to the chilly weather. He walks over to you slowly, not sure how to approach the situation. 

“[y/n],” he speaks and you whip around startled from his deep voice. You look up to find Jeongguk wearing a hat but no mask, something that surprises you.  

“Hi Jeongguk,” you reply weakly looking back around to the piece of paper you were current doodling on. 

“You draw?” Jeongguk inquires when he peeps his head around you to look at the picture of two birds you had drawn. 

“Not much anymore, just when I have time,” you explain, not looking over to him once he sits down beside of you. 

You were comfortable with Jeongguk being with you, however you were not comfortable with what you needed to talk about, but you knew you had to say what you had to say. 

“Sorry I left this morning,” you mumble, shading in the birds body with a red color. 

“Why’d you leave?” his question isn’t a surprise to you. 

“Did you really mean what you said, last night?” you say putting down the colored pencil to finally look at him. 

Jeongguk looks deep into your eyes, “Yes,” he replies without hesitation. “I know, its the cliche, we become friends with benefits and I end up falling too damn hard for you,” he laughs, “I know last night probably came out of nowhere but I had been wanting to say it for six months now. I had been keeping that to myself for so long, I just needed you to know it,” he says. 

“Jeongguk..” you say slowly. 

“I just want you to know that if you don’t feel the same way as me, it’s okay. I can understand why you would want to move on-“ 

“Jeongguk stop,” you interrupt him and he glances back up to you. “You are who you are and nothing can change that, your life… is intimidating and honestly, I’m just scared that I wouldn’t be enough for you, I can’t give you everything you deserve-“

“[y/n], shit you are enough for me,” he breathes out, “Don’t even talk like that,” he shakes his head. “I wouldn’t have told you I loved you if I didn’t think that,” he says matter-of-factly. 

His words make your heart flutter, in a good way. You give him a small smile before you lean in and give him a slow kiss, something he was not expecting from you. 

“I drew these birds,” you start as you pull away from him, “Because I’ve always had some weird envy against them, they’re just so free and don’t have any burdens,” you say. Jeongguk looks at you with a curious look. “That’s what I want us to be,” you then say glancing over to him, “That’s what love should be right? Free,” you say with a smile. 

Jeongguk suddenly looks physically relaxed and a smile grows on his face. One in motion, he picks up you from your spot and holds you up closely to him, your legs wrapping around his waist. He places a rapid kiss against your mouth adjusting his strong grip on your body. 

“Promise me one thing Jeongguk,” you speak slowly as you pull away from him, playing with the hairs along the back of his neck. 

“Anything,” he fires back quickly. 

“Promise that you’ll always be there for me,” you say, “And that you’ll continue to protect me from.. your world,” you say, not really sure how to describe it.  

“Of course, I promise I won’t let anything happen to you,” he smiles giving you one last peck, “I love you [y/n],” he says. 

“I love you too Jeongguk,” the words leave your mouth naturally and no matter how much fire you two are playing with, one thing is for sure; you two will always have each other to fall back on.

Cinderella (Part 2)

Summary: You finaly get the the courage to meet your one night stand

Pairing: Jeon Jeong-juk (Jungkook) / Reader

Genre: Fluff / Smut

Words: 2.8k

Part 1 | Masterlist

“Hello.” You heard his cute voice.

“H-hi.” You nervously stuttered.

“(Y/N)?” He remembered your name?

“Hi….um…you have something that belongs to me.”

He laughed. “That’s funny because I believe you have something that belongs to me.”

It took you a few to understand what he meant, but then it occurred to you. You stole his sweater.


You decided to meet him for a swap of your things. It was still pretty early so you decided to meet for an early lunch. You didn’t want to pretend like your someone your not so you dressed in a casual ripped jeans and flowy top.

Would you recognize him? Would he recognize you?

You both decided to meet at the corner café. You were beyond nervous. What if you is actually a jerk or he doesn’t like the real you? What if he regrets last night?

You walked into the café, you didn’t notice any familiar faces so you picked a seat in the back. It was pretty empty anyway so he shouldn’t have trouble finding you.

You clicked your thumbs together waiting for him. You felt your heart beating fast. You couldn’t control your emotions. You weren’t in a good place to be rejected right now.

Your head jerked up when you heard the door open triggering a bell. There he was. He was as gorgeous as you remember. He was wearing a white crewneck a black leather jacket with black jeans. He also had a white beanie on and a black face mask. As soon as he saw you, you could tell he was smiling behind the mask through his eyes.

“Hey.” He said to you as he sat down. He took off his face mask and he gave you a sweet smile. The killer smile you remember.

“Hi.” You shyly responded.

“Let me get us some drinks.” He got up not asking what you wanted.

He came back shortly with two drinks. They honestly looked quite tasty. “This is the best drink here.” He smiled.

You were hesitant to try it because you weren’t a coffee drinker and you doubted they had chocolate shakes here. When you tried it you were blown away. It had a coffee hint but it was mostly ice chocolate. It was delicious.

“It’s a chocolate chip frappuccino…by the look on your face I can tell you like it?” He laughed.

You nodded and put your drink down before it could give you a brain freeze.

“Um.” You started. “I just want to apologize about last night….I promise I never do these type of things.”

He nodded biting the inside of his cheek.

“My friends said that it’s time I put myself out there again….and maybe I got carried away… I’m sorry.” You looked down chipping your nail polish off.

“You don’t have to be sorry….” You looked up at him. “I dont regret last night.” He smiled.

“I just kind of wished I remembered more of it.” He continued. “But maybe we can start from the beginning? I mean if you want because you did sneak out on me.” He smirked.

“Oh no.” You leaned your head in your hands. “I promise it’s not like that….I was just embarrassed.” You blushed as you looked at him.

“You’re cute.” He laughed. “So does that me you want to start over?”

“Oh course.” You smiled.

“I’m Jungkook.” He reached his hand out towards you.

Really we are doing this? “I’m (Y/N).” You laughed at his silliness.

“And I did want to say that you’re great in bed.” He bit his lip.

You rubbed your forehead laughing. “You’re not suppose to say that…we didn’t have sex yet.”

“Right…I predict you’re great in bed.” He smiled.

You shook your head laughing, you kicked him from under the table. “Well I predict that you snore in your sleep.” One thing you remembered this morning was that he had the cutest snore you ever heard, it wasn’t loud or obnoxious but it was soft and cute.

His face dropped from your choice of words. “Really…we’re gonna go there?”

“You started it.” It was your turn to smirk.

You changed your mind, your glad you came to meet him.

“Oh I almost forgot.” He reached into his pocket and slid your phone across the table. You were so caught up in Jungkook you actually forgot about your phone.

“Thank you.” You blushed. “And you can have this back I guess.” You took his sweater laying on your side of the bench and tossed it to him.

“But I might take it back one day because it’s comfortable.” You tilted your head deviously.

“We’ll see.” He smirked.


The sad part was that Jungkook had to work later that day but he asked you out for tomorrow night. You were beyond excited.

When you got to your apartment your friends were argueing over what movie they rather watch.

“Hey (Y/N) How did it go?” They both sat up as soon as they saw you. You threw yourself between them on the couch.

“He was the most amazing guy ever.” You smiled.

“Really?” Lalisa cheered.

“Yeah….he was sweet, funny, charming, so cute.” You blushed thinking about him.

You felt happy, like you could actually can move on. You could finally forget about Illhoon. He attempted to talk to you a few times since the break up but you told him you weren’t ready, but now you feel confident.

“So when are you seeing him again?” Rosé nudged you.

“We have a date tomorrow.” You bit your lip. You were overly excited and it was obvious in your face.

“See we did this….we want credit at your wedding.” You laughed.


You thought later that day that you should call Ilhoon, he has been trying to talk to you for a while now to settle things.

You felt both relieved and disappointed when you heard his voice mail. You left a message saying how sorry you were for ignoring his calls and that you’re feeling much better and that you’re ready to settle your relationship.


“How’s this?” You pulled out a dress from your closet.

“No too fancy.” Rosé suggested.

You put it back and pulled out something else. “This?”

“No too fancy.” Rosé said more annoyed. Lalisa was good at this but she was out with her guy you still didn’t know.

Jungkook slipped his number in your phone before he gave it back to you and he texted you to not dress fancy, that it was a causal date. Which honestly made you happy because he was more down to earth, but somehow you were still nervous.

“Here.” Rosé got up and went through your closet. “This is not too fancy and it’s not to causal, perfect for a date.”

You loved her choice, it was simple white spring dress with a black and white stripped cardigan and to top it off with some gray doc martins. It was causal, cute, and edgy at the same time.

“Thank you.” You smiled.

“Just be yourself.” You released a breath.

You were already waiting for Jungkook to pick you up even though he told you seven, you still had ten minutes to spare.

Your heart skipped a beat when you heard a knock on the door.

“He’s here.” Why were you so nervous?

Rosé pushed you to the door and you slowly opened it. Your eyes landed on the handsome guy in front of you. He looked good like usual. He was in a white button down dress shirt with black jeans and his usual black leather jacket.

He looked at you and smiled. “Hey.” He sweetly greeted.

“Behave yourselves.” Rosé smirked.

“No promises.” Those words slipped out of your mouth.

Jungkook just laughed, mostly from your feared embarrassing expression. He reached his hand out and you took it following close behind.

“You look beautiful.” He said shyly.

“So do you.” You replied nervously and mentally hit yourself in the face. “I mean handsome.” You bit your lip.

“That’s okay, I’m know I’m beautiful.” He joked.

You were a flushed mess, your face never turned a shade lighter then red.

While he was driving you felt comfortable, the silence didn’t bother you. He was softly singing to the radio and you were blown away of how incredible his voice was.

“I hope you’re not taking me to the middle of nowhere so I can get murdered.”

“That’s not my style….I’m more lock you up in my basement type.” He laughed.

You pulled up into a parking lot that was packed. Instead of parking Jungkook made his way to the back of the building. After he parked you saw him text someone. You both got out and you followed him to the back door of the building.

You only waited a few seconds until it opened. “Hey man.” Some guy greeted Jungkook. He was wearing a backwards cap but you could tell he had orange hair. He had a smile that brightened up his whole face.

“You’re (Y/N) right?” He looked at you and smiled.

You nodded and shook his hand. “This is Hoseok, hes my friend, he works here so he can sneak us in.” Jungkook introduced you.

What was here exactly? After Hoseok snuck you in, he led you both out of the employees only area. When you made your way to the rest of the building you immediately got excited. You were in an aquarium. It was beautiful.

You walked down the path of the different displays of all the different types of fish. You haven’t been to an aquarium since you were little so it was refreshing. Jungkook really knew how to pick a date. He smiled at your fascination with the different aquariums. There was still people browsing but you could tell the aquarium was on their last hour before close.

Jungkook held your hand the entire time you walked through the different areas. You reached a portion that was a pathway through a tunnel. When you walked along the aquarium it was all along the tunnel. All around you. You slightly jumped when you noticed the sharks swimming above your head. You squeezed Jungkook’s hand tighter. It was incredible and frightening at the same time.


The next half hour you were more blown away of every display they had to offer. You walked upstairs until you reached another pathway of stingrays. You watched as they swam above you and all around. You looked at Jungkook smiling.

“It’s amazing.” You whispered.

“Yeah.” Just then Jungkook stole your attention as he leaned into you with a tender kiss. You were surprised from the sudden action but it didn’t take you long to respond. The kiss got deeper as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He held each hand on your hips moving you backwards until you reached the wall. You felt glass from the cold chill that ran up your back.

You felt him brush your bottom lip with his tongue. The sensation gave you butterflies as you opened your mouth responding to his request. He pushed you up so you were sitting on the railing behind you. He placed himself between your legs as he moved down to your neck. You felt like you were drunk with every wet touch. You touched up his toned body underneath his shirt. You felt the tension between your lower half’s.

He stopped kissing you for a moment as your phone rang ruining the moment. You didn’t bother looking at the name, you just hit the call straight to voicemail. Clearly making out with Jungkook was more important to you. He was your drug and you needed more of it.

You pulled him back in kissing him deeply. You reached for his pants buckle getting excited. “How about we finish this at my place, I rather not get kicked out.” He smirked. You nodded and you both made your way out of the building quickly.

When you got into the car he was shaking his leg impatiently. You couldn’t help but blush as you noticed his bulge. Luckily the drive was pretty short because you both couldn’t wait much longer.

As soon as you made your way into his apartment he pinned you against the door kissing you desperately. This was deja vu but better because neither of you were drunk.

You jumped up wrapping your legs behind him. You felt his erection poking you and it felt chilling. He started towards the bedroom carrying you. You were kissing his neck until he dropped you on his bed. You helped him take off his shirt and immediately took off your dress. He took a second to admire your body before he pulled your underwear off along with your bra. You grabbed his pants, quickly taking them off.

You grabbed his member pumping your hand up and down as he kissed your neck. You moaned as he rubbed figure eights through your folds.

“Jungkook.” You moaned. “I need you right now.”

He smirked at you as he grabbed himself and lined up to your center. He lifted your right leg up and placed it on his shoulder as he pushed in. The angle was deep and you almost screamed from the pleasure. He thrusted into you deeper causing the bed to squeak.

“You okay.” He asked you sweetly out of breath.

You nodded. “Faster.” You moaned.

He leaned into you more, bending your leg more forward. He thrusted into you at a rapid speed. He was out of breath as you attempted to kiss him.

You felt a chill as your pleasure was shooting through your body. “Jungkook I’m gonna c-” You moaned.

“Wait for me.” He tried to catch his breath.

As soon as he said that he started slowing down and you decided to let go. You closed your eyes as you felt him released causing you to shutter from the orgasm that was passing through both of your bodies.

You moaned as he pulled out of you suddenly. He immediately fell to the side of you trying to steady his breathing. You loved the way he looked with sweat dripping down his face.

He turned to you and smiled. “I knew you would be great in bed.” You laughed as you pushed your hair off your face.

He pulled you in for one last kiss before you both fell asleep.


The next morning you actually remember everything that happened and the thought obviously put a smile on your face. You felt Jungkook right behind you as his breath was on your neck and his arm was wrapped over your hip. You gently reached for your phone to check the time. When you clicked the home button you noticed you had one missed call from Illhoon.

He must of been the one that called you last night. Was he just responding to your call?

You sat up about to get out of bed when you felt Jungkook pull you back into his arms.

“No…you’re not sneaking out this time.” He whined.

You laughed from his cute actions and you turned around to face him. “I wont.” You blushed.

He leaned in and kissed you gently on the lips. “I’m sorry I slept over again.”

“I’m glad you did.” He shyly smiled. “I like seeing you first thing when I wake up.” You felt the butterflies invade your stomach again. He was so sweet and you can’t wait to move forward with your relationship.


A few hours later you decided to head home. Spending all morning with Jungkook was nice. He cooked you breakfast as you danced around him making him laugh.

You would of stayed longer but his friends invaded your alone time. They were all goofy especially the one you met last night, turns out hes Jungkooks roommate also. He just spends a lot of time over his girlfriend’s place.

When you got back to your apartment you decided to call Illhoon back.

“Hey.” He answered. “I got your message.”

“Sorry I didn’t answer I was out.” You responded. You were fine hearing his voice, it didn’t make you shiver like it did before, knowing he didn’t love you anymore.

“Do you want to meet me? I think we should catch up for a bit.” He sounded nervous.

“Yeah sounds good.”

It was time to put your breakup a side and start being friends again. That’s what you were before you even started dating. You met up with him at your old favorite pizza place that you always went to together. It was nice seeing him again. You definitely moved on, you can actually look at him without bursting into tears.

“So how is everything?” You causally asked.

“There was something I wanted to ask you.” He cut to chase.

“What’s up?” You smiled.

“I want to get back together.”


Masterlist | Part 1

SNK Character Song Series 07: Erwin Smith (Image song & monologue translations)

Thanks for your patience! 

Here is the second half of my translation, this time featuring Erwin’s image song & monologue! 

(You can read Levi’s song & monologue translations here.)

Similar to the Levi post, I included the original Japanese and romaji versions of the song, and I also made a transcript of Erwin’s monologue in the original Japanese. You can read that one here.

Again, spoiler warning for details of Erwin’s entire character song CD, as well as one more plug for the official release :)


“Hope Of Mankind” (Vocals by Daisuke Ono)

Side Note: the melody for Erwin’s song is based on the previously released SNK single, theDOGS.

Japanese Version

惨状だけが 現状そのもの

先へ進む 道を死守

繋ぎ止めるHope Of Mankind



それだけがHope Of Mankind



※ Repeat


Romaji version

Misekake no kibō wo toite
Yume wo chiratsukase wa shinai
Sanjō dake ga genjō sono mono

Toki ni saizen no saku wa
Tōtoi inochi kirisutete
Saki e susumu michi wo shishu
Senjō no seorī

Owari naki crisis no naka
Hei wo michibiki tsuzuke
Nani wo sutesatta toshite mo
Tsunagi tomeru Hope Of Mankind

Akiru hodo mitsumete kita
Jinrui no oyobanasa wo
Soredemo mada hirobite wa inai

Gisei harawanu jakusha ni
Donna shōki ga aru to iu?
Mukiaubeki aite to wa
Hyaku nen no kyōi

*Owari naki crisis no naka
Nando demo tobikonde
Kakushin no danpen sagasu
Sore dake ga Hope Of Mankind

Owari naki crisis no naka
Hei wo michibiki tsuzuke
Yuru ganu shinnen tsuranuku
Tsukiru sono hi made

Muzan ni chitta ejiki to natta
Yūshi ni itsuka tsugunaeru nara
Inochi hitotsu ja fuzoku darō ga
Jigoku ni ochita sono ato de nara…
Kagiri aru ima kudasu ketsudan ga
Asu wo tsukuru to shinjite iru


Suteta mono wa kagiri naku
Eta mono wa wazuka demo
Idomu kagiri zero ja nai
Kanōsei wa mada

English Translation

I do not offer false hopes
By dangling dreams in front
It is nothing but bleak, but that is the way things are

Sometimes the best policy is
To sacrifice precious lives
Defending until the end the path forward
It is the theory of the battlefield

Into the midst of this endless crisis
I will continue to guide the soldiers
Even if I have to abandon everything
I will hold onto the hope of mankind

I have stared myself sick gazing upon
Humanity’s inferiority
Nevertheless we have not yet perished

For the weak ones who have not paid with sacrifice
What sort of chances of winning are there?
The opponents we must face
Have been a menace for 100 years

Into the midst of this endless crisis
I will dive over and over again
To search for fragments of the truth
That is simply the hope of mankind

Into the midst of this endless crisis
I will continue to lead the soldiers
I will cling to my unwavering faith
Until my days come to an end

It is cruel how the victims have fallen
If I were to atone for these volunteers
One life is not enough, but
Perhaps it would after I have fallen into hell
There is a limit to the decisions I make now but
I believe we can build a tomorrow

There’s no end to the things I’ve thrown away
Even though the things I’ve gotten in return were few
The ability to challenge is not down to zero
There is still a possibility


Monologue English Translation

My father was a teacher. The course of my life was set in the classroom one day where my father was giving a history lesson.

Having doubts about the story of how humanity had been driven into these walls, I asked my father a naive question.

At the time, my father stayed silent, but after we returned home, he answered my question.

There were a great number of inconsistencies in the history book distributed by the monarchy.

Moreover, he had a theory that they were hiding an astounding truth.

I spread my father’s theory around to the neighborhood children.

There was no ill intention, it was an innocent act.

However, on the day in which those details were investigated by Military Police, my father died in an accident in a faraway town he had left for.

Of course, it was only ostensibly an accident. My father was killed at the hands of someone who disapproved of his theory.

Inside the walls, there are a portion of humans who indulge in a privileged life– their desires, as well as a foolish son tempted by innocent questions killed my father.

And then my father’s theory became my truth. Proving my father’s theory became my life’s mission.

Humans become titans, and titans become the walls.

In this world full of harsh paths, answering the question I put forth on that day is the meaning of my life, the reason why I was born.

It is for that reason that I came to lead the Survey Corps, giving commands to numerous subordinates: “Give up your life.”

Almost all humans who join the Survey Corps will die.

On their first expedition outside the walls, the probability that new recruits will become food for the titans is roughly 50 percent.

1 in 2 people will lose their life.

Just in the last 4 years, the Survey Corps lost the majority of its soldiers, and with the fall of Wall Maria, all of the results we had gained crumbled in an instant.

There is no guarantee that Survey Corps soldiers who dedicate their hearts for the sake of humanity will live tomorrow. The current condition is bleak.

However much we try to discuss our hopes and dreams, all of them will be easily crushed.

No matter how much we champion some great cause or become a sacrifice for someone else’s sake, the pay off is almost nothing.

And yet I have been ordering many soldiers to die.

I have been using gamble-like military strategies in order to fight against this cruel world.

A comrade who formerly aspired to join the Survey Corps with me fell in love with a girl from the bar we frequented, and he chose to protect her.

I too thought I could perhaps walk along that same kind of path.

But I chose the path of fighting titans over a girl I loved.

Even a person who chose a peaceful life and could spend their life happily will eventually die.

Hope? Or despair? When this small world is about to change, I am the only one who will choose my own path.

I am the only one who will choose the path I believe in.

Who is the enemy of this world?

The key that will save humanity from this despair is none other than humanity’s determination.

This firm determination is, above all, mankind’s hope.

Therefore, I have no choice but to go see the answers I want to know.

Even though I have lost my arm as well as many of my subordinates while carrying the wings of freedom on my back¹, I must continue to advance beyond the walls by fighting against this cruel world.

If we can manage to reach the basement of Eren Yeager’s home, surely we will be able to seize the key to freeing ourselves from control by titans which has lasted for 100 years.

The answer to the question I brought forth on that day is at a place right before my eyes, a place I can reach my hand toward and grab.

Everything is for the sake of my dream– my very own dream. For that purpose I have guided many soldiers, and have ordered them to die.









As well as every other soldier who has tragically fallen.

My one life is not enough, but eventually I will make up for it. After I have fallen into hell, certainly I will have the privilege to atone.

Certainly, without fail. But now is not the time.

No matter what it takes, I have to be present to witness the moment that the truth about this world becomes clear.

Even if I have to abandon everything.

My conviction is unwavering.

Translation note:

¹ Here the phrase 自由の翼を背負い/jiyū no tsubasa wo seoi (“carrying the wings of freedom on my back”) has a connotation of it being a heavy burden to bear. It looks similar to another phrase in Japanese, 十字架を背負う/jyūjika wo seō, which means “to have a cross to bear” or more figuratively, “to carry a heavy burden”.