i have this loooming fear that rupaul/the producers are gonna pull some fucking straight up bullshit where they keep showing us sasha and shea’s friendship and then put them both undeservedly in the bottom 2 and make them lip sync against each other i’m literally fuming thinking about it
okay so i haven’t posted in forever so hopefully this helps you guys forgive me!! i have some new stuff coming to you guys soon:))
requests are open:))
tom and i had just gotten back from the press tour in the united states. it felt good to be back home, tom finally gets to see his family and most importantly tessa. i swear he likes her more than he likes me.
we were just about to get settled in the apartment after not being here for a month but we got in this morning and immediately went to see toms family.
it was an all day event because we all haven’t seen eachother in such a long time. when tom and i arrived at the house toms mom and dad were definitely the most excited to see him.
“tom!” his mother’s voice greeted him happily as he walked into the home.
“hey mom!” the smile on his face was bright enough to light up the darkened sky.
i was greeted by toms dad, “hey dom how are you?” i smiled tiredly at him.
“happy” he smiled. “very happy to see you guys” the sides of eyes were scrunched in happiness as toms brothers came running through.
At first he turns around by instinct, because someone called his name. But then you can actually see him looking to (his) right, considering for a second, then back at Marie, Marie just called him ‘Dean’, and he suddenly realizes that. For Marie, Dean is a hero, a legend, someone to write about and sing about, and she recognizes him, as Dean, as the hero.
(A/N); Hello Earthlings! So, ever since I saw hoco, I noticed that Peter barely has time for anyone else in his life, hence is why this fic was born. And while I was writing, this reminds me off a song I used to adore way back when (the link is above), I hope you listen and love it as well, but for now, happy reading!
also, requests are open!
Warnings; None (other than angst, of course)
Disclaimer; It’s midnight and my mind is a bit groggy, I hope I proofread well enough
You were the girl of his dreams, that was for sure.
No, scratch that– you are still the girl of his
It took Peter the longest of time to gather up all the
courage to even begin to admit his feelings for you. He thought he was going to
or maybe he did. He can’t really remember anymore.
The truth was, he was very happy after you said yes, and you
were beyond happy as well. At that moment, it was like the whole world was
cheering for you, but in fact– it was just Ned Leeds squealing.
Things were going amazing until it stopped.
Neither of you thought things through, and neither of you
realised that this wasn’t going to work.
It wasn’t really anything big at first, people can’t be with
together 24/7, that’s a fact, right? But, when days, weeks, and even months
have pasted and you barely had time for each other, it made you think.
Were you with each other for the sake of just ‘being
together’ or were you with each other because you loved each other? Because, if
it was the second one, you didn’t really feel it.
Peter was always busy with school, homework and project, and
if not, he was always busy being Spider-Man. You knew that, of course. It was
quite easy to piece things together when you found parts of his old suit,
random equipment and webs on the floor of his bedroom. And plus, the fact that
Peter Parker couldn’t lie to save a life showed it all.
You understood that. You didn’t mind it. Your boyfriend
was a superhero. How many people can say something like that?
Even with that going on, Peter still had a lot of time to be
with you. It wasn’t as much as before and it wasn’t as much as you would have liked,
but it’d have to do.
You just missed how things were before Peter got his powers.
You were together all the time, doing everything and nothing at once. Things
were truly amazing and you were sure that it was the best and the happiest time
of your life.
And you, you used to have all the time in the world to
yourself since you weren’t a superhero and clearly didn’t have anything
interesting to do other than school and homework, but you were sick of that.
You needed something– something to help passed the time.
Turned out, there was such a thing as the Stark internship after
all. No, not the same one Peter uses as an excuse for his superhero duties, an
So, generally, you applied for it. You didn’t expect much
since a lot of people were interested in it too.
Until, one day, you got an e-mail saying you got the
internship. It left you staring at the computer screen for almost 20 minutes
straight without blinking before you came to your senses. It was a weird
Since then, you’d been working at the Stark Industries doing
whatever they ask you to do. The cool thing was, you had full access to the
labs, and a room to yourself. Pretty cool for a random girl with an internship,
You enjoyed working there. Everything was so amazing and
just– a blast. In fact, you didn’t even see it as a job but more like a hobby.
Until you realise that being here only took more time away
from you and Peter and the horrible state of your relationship.
Peter tried to stop and visit while you were working
sometimes, but his timing was horrible and he always showed up when you were in
the middle of an experiment or something big, and you couldn’t spend time with him,
This kept happening and happening. It was at a point where
the only time you had with each other was at lunch or a few minutes between
The both of you said that it was fine, that it’d fix itself
soon enough. But that surely never happened.
Time went on, and you spend a lot more time at work now. Your
internship had made you happy, and being Spider-Man had made Peter happy, too,
but on the other hand, just the thought of your relationship made you both
In the back of your minds, you both knew. This is no longer
the happy relationship it once was, it’s more like a pressured responsibility
now. You both can’t do your jobs properly while worrying about each other and
how many minutes you’d get with each other tonight. That needs to stop.
Peter hates that things aren’t the same. He hates that he was
the cause of it all. If he was never Spider-Man, you two would still had time
for each other, you would never had taken the internship because you were tired
of sitting around waiting for him all the time.
He hates that as much as he loves you, he also loves saving
the innocent people of Queens too, he can never choose just one despite how
selfish that may seems.
And you, working with Stark is beyond important, more
important than anything else at the moment. It means so much to you and your
family. It could help you get into good colleges and pay for the tuition, and
that’s huge. You couldn’t just let it go that easily.
And here it is, the time to accept the truth. What you’re both
doing are important things, and you can’t stop doing it just to be together.
It is time to accept that things between you two– has already
The two of you are standing on the rooftop of your apartment
building, looking out. This is one rare occasion when both of your schedules
aren’t full. Hence that, Peter Parker is still dressed in his suit of duty–
without the mask on, of course, probably preparing for a sudden emergency.
The two of you just stand there, no words have been spoken,
You knew what was gonna happen the first moment Peter told
you on the phone that he has something to talk to you about, but here you both
are, not saying a word just yet.
Deciding to break the quietness, you begin, “So,”
A single word hangs in the air, Peter still hasn’t looked you
in the eyes since you got up here. It doesn’t take a genius to know that
“So,” He repeats, eyes staring off the ledge.
Sure, you both can stand here forever and not say a thing.
You can be here until sunrise and pretend there isn’t anything in yours and
Peter’s chest that’s screaming to be let out.
You decided to change the view, too much of New York can get
boring at times. You turn around and place your back on the ledge instead,
looking at the scenery surrounding you, you let your eyes can over this whole
rooftop with dim lightings and cold air. This all feels too familiar.
“You know,” you start again, “I don’t know if you remember,
but our first kiss was just over there.” You chuckle, pointing to the other
side of the building opposite of you.
Peter closes his eyes. He can’t believe he’s standing here.
Why did he choose this place over millions of places he could picked?
“I remember that it was freezing cold.” you try once again,
“I swear I couldn’t feel half of my body.”
Peter smiles to himself, of course, how could he forget
something like that.
The both of you were shaking to the core. It wasn’t his plan
to bring you up here and freeze you both to death, but downstairs was too loud
and crowded. there was a party going on, and he didn’t want to scream ‘I love
you’ and kiss you while fighting for a place to stand with 30 more people in
“And it was also very loud.” You continue.
Peter nods, before turning his head to look at you, “It was
at New Year’s.”
You nod back in reply, remembering that day. Cliché, right? A
New Year’s kiss. Who knew Peter Parker was someone like that?
Peter turns around and places his back on the ledge like you,
he stares out in the distance. He can still remember everything so vividly like
it was only yesterday. He was so scared. It took him everything to come
up here with you.
Just the thought that there wouldn’t be any more of that
breaks him. Just as it’s breaking you.
Both of your words clash as you stare at each other. Your
words are stuck in your throat, and so are his– waiting to be let loose.
Peter nods as a sign for you to go first.
You move forward, taking his hands in yours. You need to feel
his touch one last time, because you don’t know if you’d ever get a chance to
feel his soft skin again after this.
“Peter, Pete– you know I love you, right?” you start, not
really waiting for a reply, “And I would do anything to make sure you’re happy
and safe and protected?”
He doesn’t say anything, just staring at you.
“And by ‘anything’ I really mean anything. I would give up my
own happiness for yours.”
Peter shakes his head and mumbles, more to himself than to
“No,” You cut him off. You know if you don’t get to say what
you’ve been meaning to say for so long right here right now, you won’t be able
to get it out again, “listen to me first, alright?”
You squeeze his hands a little tighter as a reassurance that
you’re still here, you’re not going anywhere– not yet.
“I know that things are hard for us lately. And I’m sorry, I
know part of it is my fault.” You voice starting to tremble, “You get why I’m
doing this, don’t you? You get why we’re here?” You question, once again, not
looking for a respond.
“You know, I used to see you, Peter. I used to see you in the
news, I used to see you swinging around tower to tower. I used to see how happy
you felt. You liked being Spider-Man– Hell, you loved it! I remember how
excited you were when you used to come to my place and told me what you’d done
that day. I could see your face lit up, Pete, I could see how much you enjoyed
You can feel tears start sliding down from the corner of your
eyes, you decide to leave it alone, not bother to wipe it away.
“I missed him. I missed that happy Peter Parker. And I know I
caused it, I know I was the reason he disappeared.” You weren’t sure if what
you were saying was for Peter or for you. Maybe it’s for you both, but you didn’t
care. “I know every night when you go out on the streets, you keep worrying
about us. That’s why you don’t enjoy what you do anymore, and it breaks my
heart, you are the symbol of hope– Spider-Man is the symbol of hope, what good
would that be if you yourself lost all hope in the word?”
You stop, reaching out your hand to touch his hair and smile.
“You have to stop seeing what you do as a job, and you have
to stop worrying about me, alright? Remember why you started it? You wanted to
save people in need and make them believe in the goodness of this world. Do you
still feel the same way? I want you to be happy for what you do, Peter, I want
you to feel free out there, like you have the whole would under control, I want
you to enjoy it like you once did, okay? Take care of the city, Pete. The
people need you more than me.” You tell him, as you remove your hands out of his
hair to touch his symmetrical face lightly, wiping on the bare skin touched
Peter nods, he only notices that he’s been crying when you
touch him. He knows that what you’re saying is true. Before everything happened,
he really enjoyed being a friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man. He loves seeing
people smile and cheer him on, it just makes him want to keep doing what he
does. But now, no matter no many people he’s saved, he simply can’t feel the
emotional connection to it like before. Every night he’s out there, helping
people, he knows he’s hurting a certain person, you. And it definitely
doesn’t help when you tell him that it’s fine, because he can hear the
insincerity in your voice. And lately, it’s like what he’s doing is forced out
of him. He has to drag his unwilling body to put on the suit and jump out of a
window all the time. And on top of that, his rate in fighting crimes has been
going down drastically, Spider-Man is no longer a symbol for hope anymore, but
instead a symbol of despair.
It’s not just that, though. You’re not only just affecting
Peter’s life. Peter knows he’s affecting your life too.
He can see that you love working with the Stark Industries,
you’ve always loved technologies and there’s no workplace that will fit you
just like this one does. Peter knows that you can spend hours and hours working
there, but not if Peter is weighing you down. He knows that whenever he texts
you that he’s free, you’d drop your work and choose to be with him instead.
That’s how bad of an influence he is for you. He’s destroying your future
without even knowing it.
“(y/n)?” It’s time for Peter to say something now. He moves
his hands to wipe off your tears this time before cupping your face.
“I want you to keep working, okay? I know that the internship
means a lot to you, you said it was your golden ticket to college, right? That
there’s a scholarship for MIT at the end of the line?”
You gently nod.
“Yeah, you’ll get it. No questions asked.” He promises.
“You’ll get it because you’re smart, dedicated and wonderful. They’d be so
lucky to have you.” Peter says, making you smile in respond. His voice doesn’t
shake anymore, he sounds certain this time. Like he knows you’d get it, like he
truly believes in you.
“I’m so sorry, babe” He apologises, “I know this means a lot
to you and I’m sorry for standing in your way. I–I didn’t know.”
“No– Peter. It’s not– It’s not your fault, alright?” You
stressed, doesn’t want him to blame himself for something that wasn’t entirely
his fault. “We’re busy people– with busy lives. We can’t keep up on something
like this, Pete. We underestimated things.”
He nods in understanding, you can see his tears coming back
again while yours haven’t stopped at all. He moves his hands back to take in
yours again, grip it firmly, showing no signs of letting go.
More minutes passed of you both standing on a chill rooftop,
saying everything you’re feeling with no sounds, just the silence looks and empty
You know that after this, there is always a choice of not
ending what you already have, you can keep this charade going, wishing that
things would be okay now that you both opened up about what’s wrong– but it’s
not that easy. In the end, things will fold back on the same crease you built
and it would be like this all over again. Right now is just not the right time.
You don’t have time to fall in love and Peter clearly doesn’t either. You don’t
want to be each other’s heavy burden any longer.
Finally, your hands let go of each other, feeling in the
breeze once again after a long while.
And for the sake of things being at its last, Peter stops
hesitating. If there’s one thing he’s learnt out of this relationship, is to
never wait. Just like he would’ve asked you out sooner if he wasn’t so scared,
maybe things would turn out differently. Slowly, he moves his hand to the back
of your neck with a light touch, moving in closer and inching his face towards.
With only a short distance between where you’re standing, this sure feels like
a long time. Maybe time is really slowing down, or maybe it has already
stopped. You know that this is not just a kiss, this is your last kiss.
This will seal the ending of your story and make it real.
Many thoughts rushing through your minds before the gap closes.
Your lips and his finally meet, but this time, it feels different. It wasn’t
like how it was on your first kiss. Your first kiss with him was filled with
excitement of promising beginnings and many more things to come. It wasn’t like
one of those rushed or peck kisses either. This just feels like everything. It
feels like ending, freedom, happiness, sadness, sorrow, and emptiness all at
once. You are both happy and sad to be leaving something behind.
This marks the end of your short-lived chapter. There were a
lot of ‘should of’s and ‘could of’s mixing throughout. It was like you two only
started writing that beginning not so long ago, and the ending just caught up way
The next thing you know, You and Peter are pulling away from
each other, making a distance once again.
Maybe it’s time to let go, maybe the both of you are better
off alone, maybe today’s the wrong time and someday– just someday you’ll learn how
to be strong and make things right again.
Maybe you were right with what you said earlier, you two are
busy people with busy lives, there was no way you could keep up on something
There in the back, Peter can hear sirens wailing– like it’s
crying out for a helping hand, but just as he was gonna say something about it,
you already know, “Go.” You order, “The city needs you.”
He smiles back, looking at you straight with nothing but sincerity
in his eyes. “See you around, (y/n).”
He makes a promise, as he puts on his mask and leaps off the
building, shooting his webs out while doing so.
And there you stand, watching Peter Parker flies away into
the night. Even though what happened today breaks your heart to a million
pieces, you have to remind yourself that you did it for yours and his sakes.
You’re both better off without each other and you know it.
Your timing was off, you had to understand that. Who knows, maybe
one day you could fix what you did wrong. Maybe one day you two could have a
second chance together again, but as for right now, that was the end.
Your fairytale days were over, and the honest truth had taken
You look ahead into the city, catching glimpse of red and
blue in the distance, and it made you think about what he’d said to you before
Yeah, see you around Peter Parker.
(excuse me for tagging random people, i’ve been away for too long. ask me if you wanna be tagged or removed!)