can i still eat this

Eh, close enough…

Happy Easter!

i just tried PEANUTBUTTER AND JAM TOGETHER AND WHAT THE FUCK IT TASTES SO GOOD HOLY SHIT HOW???? WHY I DIDNT KNOW THAT SOONER IM 24 FOR GODS SAKE ITS 24 YEARS WASTED EATING THIS SHIT SEPARATELY I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS ANOTHER AMERICAN BULLSHIT THING BUT NO !!! ITS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD!!!!!! YOU MIGHT HAVE TRUMP BUT YOU’VE DONE THIS PB&J SHIT GOOD AMERICANS CONGRATS IM IMPRESSED

Kaldur manages to convince Roy for the first 5 months of their friendship that they dont eat fish out of respect for them. “In Atlantis, it is against common courtesy to eat sentient beings weaker than ourselves. If we wish to feast on those who breathe, we must beat them in a show of brawns.”

It isn’t until they forget that theyre supposed to be playing him and takes a huge bite out of his fish taco that he realizes that the warrior he thought was stoic and never humorous had been fucking with him that whole time.

  • super advanced alien race: are you ready to evolve into pure energy, human
  • me: can I still eat garlic bread
  • alien: no, but-
  • me: bye
  • alien: but mental and spiritual tranqui-
  • me, mouth dripping with garlic butter: bye
youtube

some things about this video

  • “so i hang out with my mom”
  • his propeller hat & that tie
  • is that a toy sword
  • george salazar dying in the background
  • ukelele player is just like “wtf” most of the time or having some form of pity for the boy and im just like same
  • “i have opinions on cheese” ukelele player smiles & nods prompting him to continue “i eat it right from the spray can” george still dying
  • get urself someone who looks at you the way george looks at will
  • the kid played by roland is a little shit but holy fuck
  • “w h atev s, whatevs, it’s cool 
  • MEOW MEOW MEOW ME OW
  • that pause
  • this is so fucking bad what is will roland doing what the fuck
  • “grab my dong and bop it” THE TOY SWORD IM FUCKING G
  • will roland looked so embarrassed at that part and his voice cracks
  • george is still fucking dying 
  • ukelele player & that pity smile / grimace
  • will roland is a great actor
  • pleasepepllsjnfzbpakasf i wont even bother
  • WHAT WAS THAT was that a cough look at salmond dying
  • george kept a straight face throughout that part but now hes just smiling again im crying
  • ukelele girl is done with your shit
  • AW

conclusion: whatevs, whatevs, whatevs, we are cool

Antis being outraged that “anti antis” exist 🤔

Ahaha, did they think they had the exclusivity of online assholery?

A collection of things I’ve overheard at school, in a coastal town in England:

•'Ya seen the size of that seagull? Fuck off. That thing could beat up my gran.’

•On the school bus, spotting a police car outside: ‘Oi, it’s the filth. Someone stick your middle finger up at them.’ (What is this? The 1970s? Who talks like that these days?)

•'It’s always raining here. Rain’s shit. Wind’s shit. Everything’s shit. Britain’s a shithole.’

•'I was actually up at half six this morning.’ ‘Why? Were the police banging on your door?’

•'YOU ABSOLUTE SPOON.’

•'Dan’s taking an A Level in how to get laid.’ ‘Nah, nah, he’s doing a BTEC. Practical experience.’

•'Well, you could’ve hole-punched [the paper] in the middle of the margin.’ ‘It is in the middle.’ 'It’s no, like.’ 'It’s sort of in the middle.’ 'Aye, and my fist’s going to be sort of in the middle of your eyes.’

•Chanted at a seagull: 'MOVE, GULL, GET OUT THE WAY! GET OUT THE WAY, GULL, GET OUT THE WAY!’

•In response to being swooped on by a seagull: 'EEEE, NAH! IT NEARLY GOT MAH LASH EXTENSIONS!’ 'They’re that bloody long, it was probably trying to land there.’

•The tune of 'I’ve Got a Brand-New Combine Harvester’ set to absolutely filthy lyrics that I can’t remember.

•Discussing food shopping at university and the fact that we’ll all be Skint Students: 'You know, you’re not meant to, because it’s illegal or something, but you know the skips behind Tesco?’ ’…Yeah?’ 'They throw stuff in there and you can still eat it.’ 'Yeah, but… I don’t want to have to fight a rat for a piece of garlic bread.’

•'I made some soup last night.’ 'OH, HAWAY. FUCKING JAMIE OLIVER, YOU ARE, LIKE.’

•To the tune of Ten Green Bottles: 'TEN LARGE DILDOS ON THE ART BLOCK WALL, TEN LARGE—’

•To someone drinking Diet Coke: 'You can actually die from drinking too much of that.’ 'Yeah. I could also die from looking at your ugly mug.’

•Not so much overheard, but back in year eleven…
A boy in my chemistry class: 'Is your cat a proper unit?’
Me, a confused southerner: 'A… what?’
Another boy: 'A unit! Has she got lots of muscles? Could she swim the Channel?’
Me: 'Er…’
First boy: 'Does she get on the gain train?’

anonymous asked:

hi!! “If you’re breaking up with me, can I at least eat first?”

Hello, anon! Sorry it took so long >_<

This is mostly fluff with a sprinkle of sin. They are older in this and probably living together.


“If you’re breaking up with me, can I at least eat first?”

Marinette crossed her arms and turned her head, pointedly avoiding Adrien’s green eyes. “No, you can’t.”

Adrien whined and Marinette could notice from the corner of her eye that he was pulling his best kitten eyes on her. But it won’t work. Not anymore. He already crossed the line too many times.

“Come on, Buginette. I said I was sorry.”

“It is the fifth time this week when this happened. And it is only Wednesday.”

“And it is also the fifth time to break up with me this week.”

Marinette finally turned to him and gave him a scolding look. “What did I say about ruining my yarns?”

Adrien hid his face in her lap only peeking up from above the blanket Marinette draped over her waist.

“I’m not allowed to ruin your yarns.” he repeated what Marinette told him one billion times before. “But Princess, you don’t understand. They are there, taunting me, teasing me to come and… “

Marinette gave him an unimpressed look and Adrien was sure if he was Chat Noir, his ears would have dropped right that second. “I’ll buy you other yarns.”

“Hmph.” Marinette kept pouting while still keeping her arms crossed.

“Can I at least eat? Please?”

Marinette huffed. “The fridge is full.”

He smirked. “But my favourite treat isn’t in the fridge.”

Marinette raised an eyebrow. “If you expect me to not be angry anymore because of amazing oral sex you are dead wrong.”

“Hm,” Adrien hummed before readjusting his position on the bed. “It worked the last four times. And all the other times before that.”

Marinette threw a pillow at him which Adrien avoided without a problem. “I hate you sometimes.” she declared although she was smiling.

Adrien winked. “I love you too, Princess.”

2

The Musketeers started 3 years ago, on january 19th, 2014. With Santiago Cabrera, Howard Charles, Luke Pasqualino, Tom Burke, Maimie McCoy, Alexandra Dowling, Tamla Kari, Ryan Gage, Hugo Speer & Peter Capaldi.

Wherever we draw breath, make a stand, save a life, that is the garrison, we are the garrison.
                                                                                   ALL FOR ONE & ONE FOR ALL!    

kittehkatlol  asked:

hey, do you still have braces? if so, how do you feel now? (p.s I have braces and so far i'm fine.)

It still hurting a bit but at least I can eat again XD
But now there’s another problem…the wisdom tooth.

Sound Asleep |Jack Maynard|

Summary -  Y/N and jack are sleeping on the couch and then the buttercream walk in and see them cuddling and then one of them wakes up and the buttercream tease them.

Word Count - 1,254

Warnings - N/A



“What are we watching?” you mumbled tiredly, your head resting against Jack’s arm as you both curled up on the sofa.

His arm was currently wrapped around your waist, holding you as close to him as possible as he was laid on his side, you on your back. You gazed up at him, his eyes fixed on the TV and a smile spread across your face as you watched him attempting to concentrate. Apparently it was a cooking show, something Jack wasn’t very good at.

“I actually have no idea,” he chuckled, glancing over at the TV before turning his attention back to you, as he started to twirl the ends of your hair in his fingers.

As much as you loved it when he did this, it was making you more tired and you wanted to stay awake because you hardly got to see Jack anymore, since you were both always working.

“Y/N, babe, go to sleep. I know you’re about to pass out on me,” Jack chuckled, planting a soft kiss onto your cheek.

You shook your head in protest but there wasn’t really any point, you knew Jack was right and you knew you would be asleep against his arm in a matter of minutes.

Though you knew Jack very well, he’d be asleep shortly as well.

“Come on, we can do something tonight. I haven’t got anything to do tomorrow so just stay the night.” Jack mumbled, turning the volume on the TV down ever so slightly before placing the remote on the sofa again. This was something Jack always did. He always had to have a TV or his music on to fall asleep.

You let out a sigh as you turned over, hiding your face in his chest.

“Can’t, got a presentation for work tomorrow.” You told him. You had told him 3 days previously, but you knew how forgetful he was so it was best to remind him.

Jack sighed, but chose not to say anything else on the subject, as his eyes started drooping.

You smiled as you watched him nuzzle against you again and giggled quietly.

“What are you laughing at me for?” he asked, even his voice sounding slightly tired.

“Nothing, just… Watching you,” you shrugged, placing your hand on the back of his neck.

Jack looked up at you, a confused expression on his face.

“You’re laughing because I’m tired?” he chuckled, gently poking your stomach.

“No, not because you’re tired. I’m just watching you, acting natural, not doing anything and it makes me smile,” you said, starting to play with his hair.

Jack had the same problem as you, your hair being played with while you were tired.

Dangerous move. He’d be asleep in seconds.

Jack yawned before he tightened his grip around you.

“Sleep now,” he murmured, and with his head resting on the arm of the sofa, he peacefully dropped off into a deep sleep.

Jack slept through anything and everything, practically dead to the world.

Reaching over to your right, you picked your phone up off the coffee table that was in the centre of the living room and quickly snapped a picture of him, looking as cute as ever.

After putting your phone back in the previous place, you rested your head in the crook of his head, and still playing with his hair, you also fell into a deep sleep.

-

After an hour or so, you woke up to the sound of giggles, and a door clicking shut.

Even though your eyes were still closed, you knew who the giggles belonged to.

“Yeah, alright Conor.” You mumbled, sitting up slightly as you opened your eyes, blinking a few times to readjust your eyes to the light that shone into the apartment through the window.

Once opening your eyes, you were greeted with 6 grins shining back at you.

Belonging to Joe, Oli, Caspar, Josh, Mikey and of course, Conor.

“We didn’t interrupt anything did we?” Joe smirked, leaning against the worktop in the kitchen.

“Did it look like we were doing much?” you chuckled, glancing down at Jack who was still sound asleep.

“You two look adorable, like two sleeping puppies,” Caspar commented, clapping his hands together like an excited child.

Now, Caspar wasn’t exactly the quietest of people. Well, none of them were quiet when they were together, but Caspar was unusually loud and the sound of him banging his hands together was enough to finally wake Jack up.

“Mhm,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his fist before looking at his friends confused. “Can I help you?”

“No mate, just admiring the happy couple.” Conor chuckled, shaking his head.

“You make it sound like we’re married.” You shook your head, standing up from the sofa and you smiled as Jack held your hand tight in his grasp.

“Not just yet Conor, give him time.” Joe shouted from the kitchen, still within earshot to hear the conversation.

Jack glared at his older brother as a sign for him to keep his mouth shut.

“I didn’t say anything mate, just saying how sickeningly cute you both are.” Conor smiled. Even though he was teasing you both, you knew he meant it because he has told you countless times that he was happy his little brother had finally found someone who made him happy.

“So I took a picture and basically put it on all my social media.” Caspar butted in, a cheesy smile on his face.

“What?” you looked at him, hoping that this was one of his weird pranks that you didn’t understand.

“Yeah, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat,” he smiled, showing his phone to you.

Okay, you had to admit the photo was actually really cute but that didn’t mean you wanted it online. Your hair was a mess, you were wearing Jack’s hoodie and you just looked awful, in you opinion.

Jumping up to grab his phone, Caspar laughed as he held it above his head.

“Caspar! Please delete it.” You begged, still trying to reach for his phone as he threw it over to Josh, who was also laughing as he stood in the corner with Mikey and Oli and all three of them were in hysterics.

You groaned in annoyance as you finally gave up reaching for Caspar’s phone, glancing over at Jack who was grinning down at his phone.

“I don’t know what you’re so annoyed at Y/N, I think it’s cute.” Jack mumbled sleepily, obviously still struggling to wake himself up.“

“I look bloody awful in it, he didn’t give me the chance to photoshop it.” You chuckled.

You weren’t actually annoyed at the boys, you had been with Jack long enough to know what his friends were like, and it was just like having 6 protective older brothers.

Unless they were the ones causing the grief, then they weren’t protective in the slightest.

Jack, shaking his head, stood up and took both of your hands in his, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“I think you look as beautiful as always,” he smiled as your cheeks flushed the colour of scarlet.

“Hey, I can still hear you two in here and I’m trying to eat.” Joe shouted from the kitchen as both you, and Jack, rolled your eyes in response.

“Don’t worry, wait until one of them gets a girlfriend and we’ll get them back,” Jack winked and your lips turned into a smirk as you knew he was right.

He would get them back, he always does.

‘i couldn’t lose you and yet’ (kai parker drabble)

this made me hella emotional y’all. pls read this and tell me what you think!!

(gifs don’t belong to me!!)

“You promised me heaven then put me through hell” ft Kai Parker

It was Valentine’s Day of last year when you walked into the apartment you shared with your then-boyfriend. It was beautiful: rose petals everywhere, candles burning, glasses of wine set out on the table, the water running for a bath. You were overcome with bliss and practically skipped over to your bedroom to see your boyfriend Kai Parker.

Your friends all had their doubts about him, ,but had gone to every length to keep you happy, and this little spectacle was just the icing. You smile to yourself as you see Kai’s boxers a few feet away from your bedroom. Looks like he couldn’t wait. You shrug, thinking nothing of it as you stop outside the bedroom door. You reach for the door and hear Kai’s voice… with another woman’s. It couldn’t be You know you should’ve just turned away, but you couldn’t. You had to make sure. So you opened the door. You opened the door and you caught a glimpse of Kai with another woman. That was all you could take.

Needless to say, you left him. You were now living on your own in a beautiful apartment in the breathtaking city of Chicago, far away from the evil that turned your life around. You were far away from any reminder. You were standing by the window in a silk robe, glass of red wine in hand as you took in the city lights. Nothing could ruin this perfect moment for you, nothing.

Three sharp knocks on your door seem to prove you wrong, though. You let out a light groan and set your wine on the countertop. It was past 10 in the evening, who could it? You tighten your robe around  you as you hear another set of knocks.

“I’m coming!” You walk to the door, grumbling as you open it. “How can I–?”

Originally posted by phantom-evil

“Hi.”

It takes one word for your breath to get caught in your throat, one word to make you feel the same way you did when you walked in on them. It takes one word for all those feelings to rush back in. You look up at him, your tired brown eyes meeting his empty grey ones. It’s the first time you’ve seen him since the incident, and you hate how incredibly attractive he looks despite the obvious fatigue. Before he can pull you back into his trap, you move to close the door.

“Y/N, please,” he begs, bracing himself in the door frame.

“No,” you grit your teeth, begging yourself not to cry.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers and you lose your resolve, the emotions become overwhelming and you cover your mouth with your hand as you sob.

“HOW COULD YOU?” You yelled as he stood there, unable to look at you. “I loved you! I pushed everyone in my life back so that I could be with you. Was I not good enough? Is that it? Was she taller? Skinnier? Prettier? More well-rounded? Did you love her? Or did you stop loving me, Kai? Did you stop–?”

“No!” His eyes finally move up to look at yours once again. “It is not at all your fault. I never stopped loving you. It’s still eating at me. I can barely look at myself in the mirror I fucking hate myself!”

His hands are trembling as he tries to contain his magic. He takes a breath and runs his hands over his face.

“Don’t ever blame yourself. Ever. Don’t think for a second that you weren’t, that you aren’t good enough. You’re better than I ever deserved, know that. You’re better than anyone deserves,” he whispers and you can hear the sincerity dripping in his voice. “I just came here to apologize. That’s all, I swear. I didn’t mean to upset you as much as I did. I-I’ll be leaving now.”

He looks at you one last time, taking in every detail on your face before turning to leave.

“W-wait. M-Mal wait,” you whisper, taking a second to control your breath before continuing. “Why did you do it? Why did you have sex with her?”

You bite your bottom lip and wipe the tears that wouldn’t stop running down your face as you look at him and remember every good moment you two shared.

“I don’t have a good reason,” he clenches his jaw and once again turns around to leave. You grab his arm and turn him around, pulling him fully inside. You shut the door and he gives you a pained look.

“There is no good reason for cheating. I just want a reason. Please. I deserve that,” you stand between him and the door and he looks away.

“I can’t give you a reason. I don’t have–”

“You’re lying. You could never look at me when you lied, Malachi. Tell me why.”

“No, I can’t. Please–”

You cup his face and hungrily press your lips against his, desperate to feel him against you one last time, to feel something. You pull away seconds later, Kai still reeling from the kiss.

“Tell me you felt nothing. Tell me you didn’t feel my desperation, my pain, my anger, my self-hatred. Tell me that I mean nothing to you, Mal. Tell me you hate me!” You yell at him and he closes his eyes, clenching his jaw as he shakes his head. “You promised me heaven then put me through hell, Malachi Parker. I’ve been in hell for the past year. Tell me something! Please, just–”

“My father would have killed you!” He swings his arm and punches the wall repeatedly, stopping only after his knuckles bled enough to stain the wall. He then turns to look up at you. “My father would have killed you, Y/N. He didn’t want to see me happy, I’m an abomination.”

He pauses, sniffling as everything finally catches up to him. He falls back against the wall, chest heaving as he lets out silent sobs.

“He would’ve killed you. The only reason I had sex with her was so she’d tell my father that I was single, that I had no attachments. He’s killed every person that ever came close to making me happy. After I found you, I couldn’t risk him finding out. That’s why I wouldn’t let you meet my family. That’s why I was so paranoid every time we went out. I couldn’t risk him finding out about you. I couldn’t lose you.” He lets out a bitter chuckle, tears staining his face as he looks up at you, heartbroken as ever. “I couldn’t lose you and yet here we are.”

harry blurb: youre his bestfriend who couldnt be at snl with him bc you live too far and he's bummed

“I still can’t believe you’re here eating cake mixture and not halfway across the country egging him on and treating him to drinks after tonight…y’know Nick’s there right?”

“Yes i’m very well aware that Nick, the all-star radio DJ could afford to make it out there but H….he’ll do well without me. I haven’t seen him in ages, a couple more weeks can’t hurt him” you spoon another slop of mixture into your mouth, licking your lips thoughtfully as the sweet taste of sugary, not quite fully mixed sweetness left a trace on your tongue.

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