i think a big issue with aces wanting to be considered lgbt and thinking they’re entitled to include themselves amongst us is that their version of the lgbt community is so idealized they don’t understand it. they don’t understand that we can barely take care of ourselves, that kids still freeze in the streets because there aren’t enough room in lgbt centers (which are barely funded as it is), that trans women are being killed left and right, that gay kids are being kicked out of their homes, that lgbt people are killing themselves every day, that alcoholism and drug use is a huge problem in the community. they only see the pretty parts – the parades, the rainbow flags, the celebration of gay marriage, the culture, but they don’t understand that it’s not like that all the time. that most of the time we’re barely scraping by, that the resources, the beds, the scholarships run out so quickly, and there’s not even enough for us now
and honestly i’m gonna disregard all the fuckin discourse for a second about whether aces are even inherently lgbt and remind people that we honestly can’t support them. our resources, our shelters, our scholarships, our food were created for certain people and we don’t even have enough for ourselves, never mind them!
and to a degree, i can understand why aces might think the lgbt community is for them, because through their narrow view they only see the good parts, and they want to be a part of it, because they’re abnormal too, right? they’re not the norm either. but that view comes with a shitload of misunderstanding on their part and ignorance of our history. we didn’t come together as a “community” by chance. we were united by things like the aids crisis, like stonewall, and even now we’re just barely clinging on to each other when we’re not fighting amongst each other. they don’t understand that during the aids crisis our elders saw their friends dying around them and a government who ignored their existence, that they attended funerals every week, that they were barred from seeing their loved ones in the hospital because of who they were. they cannot understand, and they will never understand.
and i’ll say this: aces do deserve a community. they deserve support and resources too. but the lgbt community is not the one for them. we can barely take care of ourselves, and we are not the answer to their issues.