can i still be considered trans enough

i think a big issue with aces wanting to be considered lgbt and thinking they’re entitled to include themselves amongst us is that their version of the lgbt community is so idealized they don’t understand it. they don’t understand that we can barely take care of ourselves, that kids still freeze in the streets because there aren’t enough room in lgbt centers (which are barely funded as it is), that trans women are being killed left and right, that gay kids are being kicked out of their homes, that lgbt people are killing themselves every day, that alcoholism and drug use is a huge problem in the community. they only see the pretty parts – the parades, the rainbow flags, the celebration of gay marriage, the culture, but they don’t understand that it’s not like that all the time. that most of the time we’re barely scraping by, that the resources, the beds, the scholarships run out so quickly, and there’s not even enough for us now

and honestly i’m gonna disregard all the fuckin discourse for a second about whether aces are even inherently lgbt and remind people that we honestly can’t support them. our resources, our shelters, our scholarships, our food were created for certain people and we don’t even have enough for ourselves, never mind them!

and to a degree, i can understand why aces might think the lgbt community is for them, because through their narrow view they only see the good parts, and they want to be a part of it, because they’re abnormal too, right? they’re not the norm either. but that view comes with a shitload of misunderstanding on their part and ignorance of our history. we didn’t come together as a “community” by chance. we were united by things like the aids crisis, like stonewall, and even now we’re just barely clinging on to each other when we’re not fighting amongst each other. they don’t understand that during the aids crisis our elders saw their friends dying around them and a government who ignored their existence, that they attended funerals every week, that they were barred from seeing their loved ones in the hospital because of who they were. they cannot understand, and they will never understand.

and i’ll say this: aces do deserve a community. they deserve support and resources too. but the lgbt community is not the one for them. we can barely take care of ourselves, and we are not the answer to their issues.

My dear trans kids, 

Trans boys can dress in the way that’s traditionally considered feminine and trans girls can dress in the way that’s traditionally considered masculine. 

Clothes have no gender and neither have make-up or hairstyles. 

If you’ve been on the lgbt+ side of tumblr for a while, you’ve likely heard this before. This is not the first post saying so which is great because it’s important and true that trans people can dress however they want and they’re still 100% valid and 100% trans. This message can not be repeated often enough. 

But sometimes, sadly, it’s not as easy as just saying “I dress however i want”. In some countries/families/situations, trans boys need to dress in the stereotypical masculine way and trans girls need to dress in the stereotypical feminine way. They need to fit into “outdated gender-roles” - for their safety. So people believe them. To avoid harassment. So they are allowed to start HRT or get surgery. To not get kicked out of a bathroom. For many different reasons. 

Clothes have no gender, yes. But if you’re trans, please do not let those posts saying so make you feel bad because in your situation your clothes do have to fit into a specific traditional gender role. Your safety and your well-being always come first. 

And to my cis followers: Please, please do not ridicule trans girls who dress super feminine and trans boys who dress super masculine. 1. It may be necessary for their safety 2. It’s none of your business.

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom  

bihexualwitch  asked:

Hey, I happened upon your blog and saw that you believe that Sherlock is trans. How come? This is the first head cannon I've heard of this and I'm truly curious about your answer. What's your thought process? Thanks!

WOW BOY okay this is my first time actually being asked this question so here we fucking go!?!??! (edit upon actually having typed this all out: HOLY FUCK; read more:)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i think i am non binary, though i do still go by she/her pronouns. i'm not sure if i can call some stuff i experience as dysphoria because sometimes those same things don't bother me at all. i also have a hard time referring to myself as trans because my boyfriend is ftm and i honestly just don't feel like what i'm dealing with is enough to consider me a trans person, although i do identify as someone who isn't cis? i think i want to be part of that community but i won't be taken seriously

If you feel that you are trans, then you are trans. The amount you e gone through, the amount of dysphoria you might experience, and really anything else change if you’re trans or not. You’re always valid!!

I think I’m far enough in my transition process to not need to think about stuff like oh what if someone who might screw things up for me finds out one of my online profiles and reads there what I’ve said about this stuff which means I can
stop pretending I identify as a man, lol
hi, I consider myself to be neutrois or “neutrally gendered” or what ever
(not agender)
still trans masc though

anonymous asked:

You said male privilege is denied to anyone not viewed as "male enough." That would include the vast majority of men, and serves as essentially a blanket accountability dodge for any man. It's a very flawed view of privilege and power. ALL men have male privilege. Viewing oneself as not getting the "full package" of male privilege is literally a defining characteristic of the male experience under patriarchy. Trans men can have male privilege and still face cissexism and misdirected misogyny.

I think you’re confusing ‘not man enough’ and ‘not masculine enough’. 

The patriarchy pushes all men to conform to an ideal of perfect masculinity, and creates a constant anxiety for the 99.9% of men who do not conform to that ideal. That sucks but it does not effect their essential male privilege. So that’s ‘not masculine enough’. 

‘Not man enough’ is a category when the patriarchy doesn’t perceive an individual as having even the most basic requirements to be considered male at all. Paradoxially (because the patriarchy loves to bite it’s own tail*) this often includes anyone who doesn’t own a penis AND anyone who categorically does not identify as male. As much as the cissexist patriarchy claims that trans women are ‘actually male’, they treat trans women as their most hated category of women, a clear sign that they have withdrawn all male privilege. Trans women have zero male privilege from the first moment they are perceived by society as transgender. 

Now, trans men. Suppose a theoretical person, let’s call that person Taylor, sits in their room one night, looks in the mirror and says “I finally know who I am, I am a transman”. Now in that moment, he does not *magically* gain male privilege. If he walked out into the world without a different body and without a sign that said ‘man’, he would be treated exactly the same as the day before. Sure, any misogyny he encountered would be ‘misdirected’, sure, but it would be real misogyny none the less. When you experience misogyny (misdirected or not) 100% of the time, then you have social male privilege 0% of the time. 

Note the word ‘social’. The very first moment they start identifying as male, transmen do get to benefit from all the positive connotations that our society attaches to manhood. They can define their gender identity by their ‘strength’ and their ‘assertiveness’ as if these qualities had anything to do with masculinity. That is a mental comfort trans women don’t have. And most transmen, while adopting a masculine way of talking, walking, interacting, adopt a LOT of the toxic stuff that is engrained in male behaviour. Transmen ‘mansplain’, transmen demand the centre of attention and speak over women, transmen crack rape jokes. And many do this excessively, as if being an ultra-misogynist were some sick right of passage into manhood. But socially, trans men gain nothing until they are recognized by others as men. 

As Taylor would declare their identity, start using different pronouns, take hormones, etc, more and more people would start recognizing him as male. Some would be decent human beings who recognize that identifying as a man makes Taylor a man, others would be transphobes who do not know Taylor and judge him by his appearance only. Taylor would get more and more male privilege, for longer uninterrupted periods. But it would be a precarious privilege. At any point, a transphobe could take a look at their ID, decide that the little ‘F’ on that plastic card means this is not a ‘real man’ and started treating Taylor the same way they treat women. (or much worse, because transphobia) Misdirected misogyny? sure. But very very real. 

Trans men have social male privilege only when they are recognized by society as men, and how precarious that privilege is depends on their situation. Male privilege isn’t a simple matter of black and white. It isn’t something you either never or always have. That said, most transmen are somewhere on the pretty-damn-privileged side most of their post-transition lives and need to acknowledge that.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m bothering to stress this distinction and the fact that ‘misdirected’ misogyny is real misogyny? Well, it’s because a fly trap that catches a mosquito still kills the mosquito. And trans men are dying from all the misdirected misogyny. 

Transmen are more likely to experience rape and sexual violence than cisgender women. Twice as likely according to some statistics, up to four times as likely according to others. So when a cisgender women tells a transman that he can’t be part of a conversation about rape culture because of his male privilege - as is quite common - she is very fucking wrong. It’s a life-or-death matter that trans men’s voices be heard in conversations about misogyny.

(Not surprisingly, transwomen are the absolute worst off when it comes to their chances of becoming a victim of sexual violence. One thing is absolutely clear about the patriarchy: it has a very special hatred reserved for transwomen.)

Now, there are a LOT of issues where transmen just need to shut up, sit back and listen. If it’s about slut-shaming, women’s representation in the media, the trivialization of feminity, transmen are often just adding noise when they say things like ‘But what about the transmen?’ and they definitely need to keep an eye on their privilege. And most of all transmen need to stop speaking for transwomen, stop pretending that a place is trans friendly when transwomen feel unsafe and stop pretending that violence targeted specifically against transwomen is ‘violence against trans* people’. 

And when trans men get told to check their privilege, 99% of the time, they really should check their privilege. 

But trans men do, in some situations, face real sexism and ‘but it’s misdirected’ should not be used to shut them up when they name their experiences. 

So, yeah, shit’s complicated.

*It’s a common mistake to assume that the patriarchies ideas of men and women are logical and consistent. They’re not. The patriarchy is a system intent on keeping cis men in power in every aspect of life and if it perceives your existence as something that threatens male dominance, it will pull any trick, no matter how illogical, to make sure your voice isn’t heard. 

Can I just say, fuck the idea of mandatory dramatic dysphoria

A) the idea of dysphoria being required to be considered anything other than a ‘transtender’ is bullshit given that we’re trying so hard to SEPARATE our gender from our body parts.

B) This idea that dysphoria has to include ALL of your body and be intense and life altering and not just *pokes boobs* ‘well these suck’ is also fucking bullshit. It can leave so many people in the dark thinking they aren’t 'trans enough’ for the longest time I thought I was genderfluid because “well I like my boobs so clearly I still identify as female partially, never mind I hate my vagina and that my body parts have nothing to do with my gender and I fucking hate being called a woman, I don’t hate myself enough to be trans” and that’s such a bullshit notion.

If you have dysphoria, big or small then you are in my thoughts and I hope some day you can get to a place where you can love your body and it feels like it’s YOUR body.

However having it shouldn’t be a pre requisite for being trans, and it’s worth shouldn’t be measured.

making a list of learning disabled & otherwise disabled studyblrs

so I’ve been having trouble finding other people with disabilities, especially learning disabilities, in the studyblr community. I also haven’t been able to find any community lists specific to these groups, so I’ve decided to make one.

if you’d like to be on this list send me an ask or fanmail with your:

- studyblr url (if not the one you message from)
- level of study (high school, a-levels, undergrad, grad school, independent student, etc) you can specify your year if you wish
- area of study or main interests if in high school
- as much info on your disabilities as you’re comfortable giving. you can be as general or specific as you like. by general I mean something like “learning disabled”, “physically disabled”, etc. specific would be like “dyslexia”, “wheelchair user”, “chronic pain”, etc.
- anything else you’d like to be included. if this gets big enough I’ll be making individual lists for majors, level, general disabilities, common specific disabilities, lgbt+, appblrs, etc

to give you an example of how entries would look on the page, here’s mine:

@nsfacademia Independent Student. English, Comparative Lit, Library Science. Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Autism*, ADHD, Cane User, Chronic Pain & Illness, and a host of cognitive impairments. Trans and bi/grey-asexual.

you can send your info formatted however you like, this is just so you can have an idea of how it will look.

*I consider autism to not be a disability, but it still affects my learning and education in a major way, and when I was in college I got accommodations for it, so I’m including it in my entry. It is of course up to individual auties if they want this on their entry or not, and this list is open to those on the autism spectrum regardless of if they are otherwise disabled.

this post is getting longer than planned, so I’ll just concluded with saying that if anyone knows of an existing list like this let me know, and I greatly appreciate all reblogs of this, whether you are disabled or not.


@ all the trans boys who don’t think they’re “manly enough”

- you are valid!!!!
- you don’t need a dick to be a boy
- your long hair does not make you any less masculine
- you can still present feminine and be a boy
- you don’t have to be a short-haired jock “tomboy” type (although being that is totally fine!!)
- you don’t have to bind if you don’t want to
- you don’t have to worry about passing off as cis to be considered hot - you’re a++ just as you are!!
- you are real boys
- you are manly as hell and i love all of u

@ all the trans girls who don’t think they’re “girly enough”

- you are valid!!!
- you don’t need boobs to be a girl
- short hair doesn’t make you any less of a girl
- you can still present masculine and be a girl
- you don’t have to be this floaty gentle super-fem fairy (although being that is totally ok!!)
- you don’t have to stuff your shirts
- you don’t have to worry about passing off as cis to be considered beautiful - you’re a++ just as you are!!
- you are real girls
- you are all beautiful as hell and i love all of u

@ all the nb/gender-neutral/agender kids who don’t think they’re “neutral enough”

- you are valid!!!
- you can have short or long hair, neither make you more or less neutral
- you don’t have to be a manic panic pierced punk (although being that is totally chill!!)
- you don’t have to bind
- - you don’t have to worry about passing off as cis to be considered attractive - you’re a++ just as you are!!
- you are real people
- you are all sick as frick and i love all of u

thankyou for reading
i hope you have a nice day, pet a dog, have your pronouns respected and have people understand your gender