can i make a man out of you

anonymous asked:

But she didn't even NEED TO CHAIN JOHN UP IN THE WELL. He obviously can't climb out of it like fucking Samara in The Ring or Batman in Dark Knight Rises SO WHY EVEN CHAIN HIM UP. IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. ALSO HOW DID THAT SMALL WOMAN MANAGE TO GET A FULLY GROWN MAN ALL THE WAY DOWN THERE WITHOUT CRACKING HIS HEAD OPEN. I'm transcending

but you don’t understand, if she didn’t chain him up (with the power of her mind, obviously), he wouldn’t fall back into the water trying to climb up, wouldn’t find a tiny skull and wouldn’t be there with his discovery just in time to give “context” for sherlock, it was all part of the plan because euros raven darkness holmes can literally predict the events

Jan 18 - A funny thing happened during my afternoon run

Today I decided to run the 3½ miles to my local bank. It was sunny and 53°F out there, really quite nice for mid-January. So I got on my sweat pants and a long sleeved shirt and left the winter jacket in the closet and headed out.

My bank is not far from one of the high schools in my town, so as I approached it I saw a number of boys in groups of 3-5 running. (In shorts, by the way. Now THAT surprised me!) I was not far from the bank when rather suddenly a teen male voice from behind me to my right started shouting, “Come on! Two more miles! You can make it! You and me, head on out up here!”

At first I thought the guy was serious, so I replied, “Uhh, I’m turning off up here at the bank…”

Then the young man continued, “That’s OK, you’re doing really great! It’s an inspiration just watching you!” He was still behind me, but I saw he had extended his right hand to me, so I shook his and and he added, “Great seeing you!”

At that he fell back behind me. I didn’t get a good look at him so I don’t know if he was one of the high school track boys or just a young guy who felt like giving me some encouragement right then.

I will say this, though: I was never on a track team, high school or anywhere else. But after that I understand why coaches will yell things like, :All right! Two more miles! Let’s go all the way!“ I got a nice shot of adrenaline from his surprise "pep talk” as I was running along. I felt better and more invogorated and, frankly, I got the gfeeling that I could in fact have done two more miles if I’d decided to!

And it did come kind of late in the run, but I wonder if that had anything to do with the fact that I completed the run about 2:30 faster than my previous best time.


Hey so I’m doing sketch commissions because I’m poor and need money to fix stuff up and make cosplays for cons and all that good stuff

Now for the info invade you can’t read it above

What I will draw:
- pretty much anything
- shipping things are fine
- ocs are coolio
- canon characters too
- humans, frogs, robots, etc.

What I won’t draw:
- nsfw
- that’s pretty much it

- $3 a sketch
- +$2 for additional characters

Additional info:
- up to 3 characters if they are humans, up to 5 if they are frogs
- please specify what style you want the humans/robots/etc. to be in(I have a more cartoon style, and then more of an anime style)
- everything will be scanned to be uploaded
- payment method is PayPal btw(forgot to mention that)

If you have any questions please send me an ask or pm me!!
Also if you would like to commission me please pm me!! It will be done as soon as possible!
If you could please reblogged this and help me out that would be great!! Thank you!

NewtxReader- Asexual Reader

OOOOOOOKAY sit yourself down for this one kids because it’s a doozy! First off, for those who don’t know, I’m asexual. So writing this fic wasn’t that foreign for me haha. But I didn’t really know where it was going until I started writing so forgive me for this awkward jumble of wordsssssssss

it has a happy ending I promise (even tho my writing makes it feel a bit weird but IT’S FINE I PROMISE)


“Newt, can you help me reach the top of the bowtruckle tree?” You asked the taller man who was nearby. He reached up and set the stubborn stick creature on the highest branch.

“Happy now, are we?” He spoke sweetly, admiring the tree and it’s inhabitants.

You had been helping Newt out with his creatures for the past few weeks while he was visiting New York. Your paths had crossed long before this trip, and once you heard Newt was in town you sprung at the chance to rekindle an old friendship.

“Thank you,” you smiled at him.

“N-no problem,” he shuffled back to where he was before, his face turning slightly pink. You finished with the bowtruckles and brought back your feeding buckets to the tiny shack.

“I hate to do this to you, but I have to get going.”

“Oh, is it five already?”

“Afraid so. I’ll see you tomorrow okay?” You grabbed your coat and fixed your hair in a handheld mirror. Newt nodded and looked to the floor.

“Bye darling, sleep well!”

Newt’s mind filled with your words. Darling. If only she knew, he thought to himself. He wandered to the niffler’s home and offered him a shiny new coin. The niffler quickly accepted and scurried back to his pile of shiny treasures, earning a small smile from Newt. He retired to bed early that evening, his mind filled with thoughts of you.

The next day you climbed down into the case, quiet to not wake Newt. He was asleep on a cot with his hair swooped over his eyes. You gently reached down and brushed his bangs away, a sweet grin appearing on your face.

“I’m going to check on the animals, okay Newt?” You whispered to the resting man. He didn’t even stir when you opened the door and headed out to the habitats.

“Hello, lovelies! You’re all looking beautiful today,” you cooed to the bowtruckles. They swung on their branches and made happy squeaking noises in response. You heard the door in the shack open and footsteps come up behind you.

“y/n?” a groggy voice asked. You turned around and saw Newt with his shirt not buttoned up all the way and his hair still a mess.

“Good morning, Newt! I woke up early and thought I’d just head over and get started for the day. Plus I really missed these guys,” you smiled and turned back to the bowtruckle tree. Newt blushed a little and messed with his hair. His heart soared at how you loved these creatures almost as much as him. He went back to the shack to clean himself up and then quickly returned to help you out.

“S-so how’s Jack?”

“Oh, he’s fine. His job at MACUSA has him busy as always…” Your eyes drifted to the ground. You stayed silent for awhile after the short lived conversation. Newt took notice of your silence and mentally yelled at himself for ever bringing up your boyfriend.

“Sorry, everything is fine,” you spoke. “Things have been a little tense with Jack lately and we’re just trying to work it all out.”

Newt studied you while you fed the mooncalves. Your face lightened once the sweet creatures swarmed around you, bouncing their heads around for the floating pellets. He snapped out of his gaze when you turned to face him again.

“I, um, have to leave a little early today, if that’s okay…”

“Oh, s-sure…”

“… Jack has something special planned for me. I-I don’t know what that means,” you chuckled softly. Newt looked in a different direction and attempted a smile.

“A-anyways, let’s go check on the erumphant?”

The day went on as usual, all the animals were cared for and content. The clock struck four and you started fixing your makeup, the little you still had on your face.

“Newt?” You called out. He didn’t respond.

“Darling?” You went down a few stairs and raised your voice. Still nothing. You journeyed to the different areas, not finding Newt in any of the rooms. A cold wind blew from the frigid box of snow. You saw a shadow of a man in the distance. Calling out to it, it’s head whipped around in response.

“Y-yes?” Newt shouted as you both walked towards each other.

“O-of course you’re in the c-coldest room,” you shivered intensely. Newt instinctively took off his scarf and wrapped it around your neck. You blushed a little.

“Thanks. I just w-wanted to let y-you know I have to l-leave,” your body wasn’t taking well to the cold.

It happened in a flash. Newt wrapped his arms around you in an embrace. Your body instantly felt warmer, the heat returning to your hands. You returned the gesture and placed your hands on his lower back gently. He looked down to meet your eyes.

“S-sorry, I don’t know what came over me…” He let go of you and rushed out of the snow plains. You quickly followed him, the harsh wind hitting you on your way out.

“Newt it’s okay! Really!” You darted after the freckled man, not able to get even remotely close to him. He disappeared into a dark forest, his outline fading fast into the shadows. You stopped before you got lost yourself, returning to the light.

“Newt…” you said sadly. You made your way out of the case, not knowing when you would see your magizoologist again.

It had grown dark on the streets of New York. Newt was writing about the niffler in his notes when he heard a soft sob from the outside of his case. He set down his pen and listened as it got louder. Suddenly a pair of heels started walking down the ladder.

“y-y/n?” Newt quickly stood up and helped you with the last step. Your eyes were puffy and newly fallen tears stained your cheeks.

“W-what happened?” He let you fall into his arms, your sobbing picking up again.

“Jack… J-Jack broke up with me…” you quietly spoke through your tears. Newt’s grip on you tightened.

“Y/N I’m so sor-”

“It’s my fault. I… caused this.”

Newt fell silent as you walked over to the cot to sit down. He sat next you, placing his hand over yours.

“Remember when I said things have been rough lately? Well, it began when I started staying out later with you, helping with your creatures and your book. I loved every minute of it, don’t think for a second I regret those late nights,” you paused and met his eyes for a moment.

“I couldn’t get you out of my mind, Newt. Things were going sour with Jack and all I wanted was to see you. But I pushed it down and tried to make it work but… b-but…” your eyes started to leak again. Newt wiped away your tears gently, his other arm wrapping around you.

“I-I’m different. There’s a term I’ve read about that describes me, but it’s going to drive you away just like with Jack. That’s what happened tonight when he-” You stop, not wanting to relive the previous events. “I-I can’t bear to lose you,” You look to Newt with a worried expression. Tears still stung your cheeks.

“What term are you referring to? Please tell me, I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

“Asexual. I-It’s weird sounding but it means I d-don’t have sexual desires…” Your eyes are permanently glued to the floor.

“I know you’re disgusted and think I’m broken, don’t worry, I know-”

“You’re not broken. You are the most wonderful partner I’ve ever worked with. Your laugh fills this case with warmth and light. The creatures love you a-and so do I. Nothing… And I mean nothing will change that,” Newt spoke in a tone that you’ve never heard him use before. You tilted your head towards him and raised your hand to his cheek. Your fingers softly grazed his skin, his eyes not leaving your stare. You leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I wish I could be normal for you.”

“You don’t need to be anything more than who you already are, y/n. I-I mean it,” Newt brushed your h/c hair out of your eyes. You leaned into his light embrace, his warmth making you feel a bit better. You both sat in a comfortable silence as the night wore on. Eventually you laid down and started to drift off to sleep. Newt covered you with a blanket and laid a small kiss on your forehead.

“Goodnight darling.”

“Goodnight, Newt.”



anonymous asked:

Girl I'm so bored of my wardrobe what r some cute outfit ideas to spice things up?? xx

Im in a styling rut myself (mf winter :/) but here are some cool, versatile pieces!

• fuzzy sweater; makes a simple outfit look super interesting bc of the texture it lends! Also mf comfortable and you feel like a fuzzy lamb, i like to wear mine with black jeans, culottes, or a black mini if it’s not too cold out (i got a super soft one from anthropologie for $40 on sale!)
• textured pants; faux leather pants are my sexuality lmao. you can pair them with a tee shirt and boots or sneakers for a casual, off duty model look or with a silky blouse to emulate mick jagger. They’re more interesting than plain denim and putting a pair on makes u feel 10x sexier, i s2g. My favorite pair is from 7 for all man kind! (i got them at a clearance store but zara also has good faux leather pants and i think they’re having a sale rn!)
• Big Boots; clunky chelsea boots are also great for giving an outfit more substance. My favorites are patent with big gold buckles, you can pair them with the classic jeans and tee shirt and throw on a leather jacket or wear them with more feminine pieces like swing dresses to give it more of an edge
• güüd outerwear; a staple during fall/winter. Hit up burlington’s, t.j. maxx, or Nordstrom rack to look for a good coat if u need one! Longline jackets and wool coats can really pull an outfit together! Also keeps ur ass from freezing
• mini skirts; it sounds odd to wear them during winter but i love pairing them with tights and long coats to play with proportions! My favorite so far is wearing a black mini and a dove grey duster coat together!

I hope this helps!!

  • someone: you can tell a lot about someone from their favorite fictional characters!
  • me, nervously shoving all of my sarcastic trashbag characters with daddy issues and poor decision-making skills out of sight: um

Can people stop being rude to/about certain Pokemon? I mean, man, I new the leaked Litten final evo would get some negative opinions but people seem to be especially rude about it. Sorry for kinda putting my opinion out there, but when you’ve gone through the main Pokemon Sun and Moon tag and a lot of the stuff is making fun/rude comments of fine designs, it really gets on my nerves. 

Look, I’m not saying the design is perfect and I can see where people get genuinely upset, but at this point it seems very undeserving and hypocritical all the hate it’s getting, especially after the initial reaction to Popplio all went down.

Sorry for the kinda rant! I’me just very passionate about my little fire baby and the Pokemon games in general, so it just breaks my heart when people seem kind of entitled about designs of Pokemon that Nintendo/Game Freak spent so much time on?  And overall I just don’t like seeing that kind and that much negativity in the tags? 

idk, again, sorry for the rant, but I hope you can at least enjoy this little comic!

Mickey Milkovich: Character development.

1x10: “You say that again and I’ll rip your tongue out of your head.”

2x08: ‘’You think we’re boyfriend and girlfriend here? you’re nothing but a warm mouth to me.“

3x11: Not everybody gets to blurt out how they fucking feel every minute

4x11: ‘’Ian, what you and I have, makes me free. Not what these assholes know.’’

5x06: ”I’m worried about you, I love you

5x12: ‘’I love you” “It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.’‘ 

6x01: ‘’I’ve been thinking about you, ever think of me?.’’ ’’Gonna wait for me?’’

7x10: ‘’I thought a lot about you inside.’’ ’’You’re under my skin, man. The fuck can I do? What can I do?”

Originally posted by arcticlightwood

Sword Fighting for Fic Writers: Chapter 7

You can follow the tag #Swords for Fics if you want to keep up without following me :)

Available Chapters:
1: Dumb Ways to Die  2.May Your Blade Be True! 3.On Your Guard!
4. Making the Cut 5.Stick ‘em With the Pointy End 6. It’s Like a Dance
7. The Measure of A Man 8.A Crossing of Blades 9.Like Chess, but with Knives
An Interlude About Storytelling
10.You Can Barely Lift Your Sword 11.Buckle Some Swash 12.Dual Wielding
13.Everything is a Weapon 14.Got Your Sword!

The Measure of a Man (or other person)
Distance and Reach

In sword fighting measure refers to your ability to reach your opponent, and their ability to reach you. If you can’t reach them you are out of measure. If you need to take a passing step to reach them, you’re in a long measure. And if you can hit them from where you’re standing, you’re in measure. I recommend you simplify this to descriptions of distance or reach for readers.

The more distance you have over your opponent, the more time the defender has to react. The less distance, the less time the defender has. But the roles of attacker and defender change quickly. If they have less time to react to your attack, you will have even less time to react to their counter.

All this stepping forwards and backwards is like a constant mind game where each fighter searches for control.

When retreating from an attack, the defender could retreat to a minimum safe distance, allowing them to make a smaller move to reach their opponent than their opponent had to make to reach them. Even a smaller person with a shorter sword can best someone with more reach than them, by better controlling their measure.

In the illustration bellow, X (on the right) and Y (on the left) have the same reach. X takes a full step forwards and makes a cutting attack to reach Y, and Y takes only a small step back to successfully dodge. Y now makes a cutting attack using a lunging step and X is too close to retreat in time. X’s full attack also left them unable to defend in time with their sword.

X could have tried retreating as their swing finished for more time to get their sword ready to defend, or done a partial cut, making their weapon a threat needing to be dealt with before Y could counter.

So why not always use this strategy? Why would you ever attack first when this can happen?

In the next scenario, X attacks with a lunging thrust that brings them just in range of Y, but Y takes a small step back. X doesn’t stop the attack and now takes a full step forward, keeping their sword pointing at Y’s throat. Y tries to take a full step back in response, but is out of room, and even if they weren’t their full step still would not have brought them out of reach. X’s larger first step allowed them to catch their target in the end.

Y could have defended with their sword if they knew how to win the crossing. That will be covered in “A Crossing of Blades

There are thousands of variations of stepping backwards and forwards or where Y or X could each win even these scenarios in different ways. But I hope these two examples will help you get into the mindset of why a character may advance or retreat. Often a retreat to a long distance will be simply to reset the battle from unfavourable conditions.

If you get in too close, and don’t have control over your opponents weapon, you’ll make yourself vulnerable. You might also enter grappling range. More on that in Your Body Everything is a Weapon” (chapter coming soon)

If you’re attacking and it requires more than one step, it’s often advisable to move your sword as if making an attack while you do so. If it takes two steps for you to reach your opponent, then in the time it takes for you to take one step they could take one step forward as well and be in range to strike you. Giving them an attack to deal with will make them think about defending as they enter your space instead of attacking.

And of course, most battles aren’t going to happen like a platformer video game. Circling will occur. 

You might be thinking about how much it must suck to be backed up against something or someone right now. And yea. It does. Fighting back to back is not advisable in a real battle if you can afford the space. But you know what? You can pull the back-to-back trope from my cold dead hands. If it’s that difficult to do, think of how much more impressive it actually is if your characters can pull it off. 

I’m not here to tell you how to make a battle practical or accurate. But to get you in the mindset of what’s dangerous or what’s smart. In the end, tell the story you want to.

The Christmas Song "Trump's nuts Roasting on an Open Fire"
  • The Christmas Song "Trump's nuts Roasting on an Open Fire"
  • Fiona Apple

Trump’s nuts roasting on an open fire
as he keeps nipping at his foes.
you’ll cry creepy uncle
every time he arrives
for he keeps clawing at your clothes
everybody knows some money and entitlement
can help to make the season white
mothers of color with their kids out of sight
will find it hard to sleep at night.

They know that truuump is on his way.
he’s got black boys in hoodies locked up on his sleigh
and every working man is going to cry
when they learn that Letch don’t care how you live or if you die

Sooo I’m offering this simple phrase
to kids from 1 to 92
although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Donald Trump, fuck you

Hickies (Peter Parker x Reader)

Request: can you do one where Peter and reader got a bit steamy with a make out session and Peter doesn’t notices to ton of very very noticeable hickies on him until he’s left his room and him trying to survive the day with it?

A/N: Hey guys! I am finishing my exams this Wednesday, so I will probably upload nothing else until then -I will try to write my imagine based on the incredible trailer that day, so it should be up on Thursday at most!

Peter laughed softly as your lips traveled down his neck, leaving small kisses. His t-shirt was off, you wearing it.
‘’Babe, somebody is gonna barge in’’ he whispered, a smile on his lips as your lips kissed his stomach. ‘’Are you giving me a hickie?’’ he asked, furrowing his brows.
You raised your head to look at him, a smile plastered on your face.
‘’Of course not’’ you reassured him.
He brought your face close to his and kissed you, the kiss getting more intense as time passed. His hands traveled to your hair, messing it up, then moving to your hips and pulling you closer to him as he sat on the bed. You put your hands on his hair, pulling at some strands and making him groan.
Lowering your head, you started to kiss his neck again, his eyes closed. His hands moved to your butt, making you moan softly as you gave him a hickie, which was followed by multiple others, although he didn’t notice.
You kissed him on the lips again, his tongue entering your mouth as your hands drew patterns on his back. He run his hands up and down your body, enjoying the feeling of having you so close to him.
Finally pulling apart to breathe, you rested your forehead against his and smiled softly, opening your eyes to find his looking at you with an expression full of love. He grinned before grabbing the hem of his t-shirt with his hands.
‘’Will you give me back my t-shirt so I can go out and have breakfast?’’ he said, the grin still on his face.
You laughed and took it off, his eyes never leaving your body. You then put on your clothes, and as you looked at him putting on his t-shirt, you admired the way his neck was full of hickies, although he didn’t notice.
‘’Let’s go grab some food’’ you said, getting up from bed and grabbing his hand.
You both left your room at the Avengers Tower and walked towards the kitchen, a comfortable silence between you.
When you got to the kitchen, everybody was there, considering it was still pretty early and they couldn’t afford to sleep in and lose training.
‘’Good morning everyone’’ you said as you let Peter’s hand go, walking to the fridge to get some juice.
Peter sat on a stool as you passed him some pancakes, and Tony looked at him with a smirk on his face before nudging Steve’s side.
‘’Spiderboy, what you got in your neck?’’ he asked, the smirk present on his voice.
Peter automatically raised his hand and put it on his neck, trying to see if he had something.
‘’What do you mean?’’ he asked, his voice raising an octave.
‘’It seems like somebody decided to paint a sunset there’’ Natasha told him.
You rested against the counter, a cup of warm coffee in your hands, which you brought close to your lips.
‘’I’m pretty artsy, right?’’ you asked, taking a small sip of your drink.
Peter gasped and looked at you, an offended look in his eyes.
‘’You said you hadn’t given me a hickie!’’ he accused you.
‘’When you asked me, I hadn’t’’ you said, shrugging your shoulders.
Everybody laughed as they looked at Peter, who looked like an angry kid.
‘’What am I supposed to tell my aunt? The ‘I fell going down the stairs’ excuse isn’t gonna make it this time!’’ he complained.

Dorian: Hey guys do you dare me to make out with Manon?

Aelin and Aedion: No

Dorian: [shaking his head and chuckling] I can’t believe you guys are making me do this

Aelin and Aedion: We’re not

Manon : Shut up, let the man speak

“She’s the best thing to ever happen to me. She is one of most kind, sweet people I’ve ever met and she deserves the world.”

“Then why did you leave her man?”

He’s silent for a moment as he looks out the window. “Because I can’t give her those things, I’m a mess. She deserves better than me.”

“You don’t get to make that decision for her.”

  • Listen

Say it 


Say it 

You’re the man of my life

honestly the level of intimacy shown in this scene is so great that it’s almost too much? and you can feel it in particular when you simply listen to them say the words. you can hardly hear isak’s words, which makes them sound all the more intimate because it makes you ask yourself “am i actually supposed to hear this? am i supposed to hear those words that are whispered so quietly you can barely make out what he’s saying?” it makes you ask yourself these questions although the answer is obviously yes, because rationally you know that this is fiction, you know it’s a script and it’s a line that was written and that is meant to be heard. but still, it sounds so intimate that listening to it kind of makes you feel like you’re eavesdropping, like you’re a stranger in a room witnessing these two share a private momentbut that’s exactly what makes this show so brilliant and unique; it takes the viewer and brings them closer to the characters, and it’s a closeness that we’re not used to experience when watching characters on a screen. sure, tv shows and movies sometimes bring us close, but this close? it’s not really something i recall experiencing before


ng time no see, boners
So cooking for a living is really doing a number on my recipe blogging and anime watching, but nothing could stop me from watching the literal FUCKIN masterpiece that is Yuri on Ice

Now, while you dicknuggets may not be able to embody the sexual grace of a katsudon as well as Yuri, you can at least make a sexy katsudon whilst crying and belting out the theme song in your bedroom 2 hours before you have to go make fancy bread for all the fancy mofos that feel like dropping 3+ hundos on a meal that involves your fancy bread hahaha what that’s definitely not how I spent last night idk what you’re talking about fuckjcxz,,,

Whatever here’s the recipe

-2 pork cutlets
-panko bread crumbs
- 2 eggs for egg wash 
-canola oil
-this shits definitely already on my blog. Like to my first post. Steal that shit from there man, use that tonkatsu recipe to complete this fine ass Katsudon

The whole thang-
-the two breaded cooked pork thingies
-Japanese style rice (I have the recipe somewhere on this blog, check that shit out, fam) about 2.5 cups worth
- tonkatsu sauce (also on my blog, but I recommend using brown sugar instead of regular sugar, shit tastes wayyy more cash money)
-kewpie mayo
-green onions, chopped, whites and greens separated
-a few handfuls of red cabbage
-minced garlic and ginger (however much suits your taste)
-2 eggs, whisked with soy sauce/tamari and sesame oil to taste

-Now in order to put it all together, get your rice down and drizzle that tonkatsu sauce and kewpie all over that bitch. Bukkake on that rice like you’re paying $4/hr for its delicious short grained company

- sweat the white part of the green onion and the shredded red cabbage in some sesame oil, once its nearly there (light bite to it, not mushy but definitely a bit softer), add the soy sauce and toss

-add your tonkatsu, allow that to soak in them sweet sweet veggie juices

-lower the heat in the pan from med-high to low, take your whisked eggs with soy sauce and pour over the delightful pile of meat and healthy shit. Get that shit lightly coated and then cover and allow the eggs to cook using the residual heat and the steam, any more heat and you risk over cooking the eggs and making them all nasty and rubbery

-once ready, slide over on top of the rice and drizzle with more tonkatsu sauce. Top with the green part of the green onions, a dollop on kewpie and a little Dijon for that tiny kick


Now go, be one with this katsudon, allow it to take your breath away. Let it be the yuri to your victor. I’m so tired but I’m probably still gonna drink a lot and rewatch this because I have no sense of responsibility or shame.

And yes, I will be having katsudon leftovers while I rewatch yuri on ice, fuck you I need this

Later fuckbuckets

My dear daughters who love girls, 

I want to send a big hug to all of you who have had bad experiences with men. 

I send a big hug to those of you who have been abused by men. 

I send a big hug to those of you who are terrified of or grossed-out by men. 

I’m sick of hearing jokes about “men-hating lesbians”. I’m sick of hearing “They’re just scared of men”. I’m sick of hearing the (indirect) message “If you’ve had a traumatic experience with a man, your feelings for girls are fake/unimportant” - That’s just not true. 

Trauma never invalidates sexual orientation. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

PS: A extra hug to those of you who had/have an abusive dad. Society’s idea that the abusive behavior of a father is somehow a failure of the daughter is disgusting - and it can make coming out (or even just accepting your own feelings) so much harder. In our community, we are sometimes so quick to point out that being lgbt+ is not necessarily caused by bad parenting that we exclude those of us who had terrible parents.  

Pride & Prejudice (2005) Sentence Starters

“Good heavens…. People.
“Have you no compassion for my poor nerves?”
“If every man in the room does not end the evening in love with you, then I’m no judge of beauty.”
“How can you tease me so?”
“One of these days, someone will catch your eye, and then you’ll have to watch your tongue.”
“Miserable he may be, but poor he most certainly is not.”
“Count your blessings. If he liked you, you’d have to talk with him.”
“I wouldn’t dance with him for all of _, let alone the miserable half.”
“Do you like to dance?”
“I thought poetry was the food of love.”
“What do you recommend to encourage affection?”
“No, men are far too easy to judge.”
“Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony, which is why I will end up an old maid.” 
“Her Ladyship demands it.”

“You’ve liked many a stupider person.”
“All the world is good and agreeable in your eyes.”
”So which one of these painted peacocks is _?”
“I could more easily forgive his vanity had he not wounded mine.”
“Your skills in the art of matchmaking are positively occult.”
“I’m no longer surprised at your knowing accomplished women, I rather wonder at your knowing any.”
“Our surest way of disappointing him will be to ask him nothing about it.”
“Would you find pride a fault or a virtue?”
“No excellence can be acquired without constant practice.”

“My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.”
“How happy for you, _, to possess the talent for flattering with such…delicacy.

“What a shame, for I dearly love to laugh.”
“Believe me, no one would suspect your manners to be rehearsed.”
“Dear, oh dear. You must be the shame of the regiment.”
“Oh, _, do you never think ill of anybody?”
“These are the kind of delicate little compliments that are always acceptable to the ladies.”

“It is my intention, if I may be so bold, to remain close to you throughout the evening.”
“It would be most inconvenient, since I have sworn to loathe him for all eternity.”
“Please advise me on what you would like most to hear.”
“Oh no, I prefer to be unsociable and taciturn.”
“I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.”
“I hope to afford you more clarity in the future.” 
“She’s just shy and modest.”
“Men are eaten up with either arrogance or stupidity.”

“There are few of us secure enough to be really in love without proper encouragement.”
“We are all fools in love.”
“I will not and I certainly never shall.”

“He does not know her character as we do.”
“I am perfectly serious!”
“There are few people who have more true enjoyment of music than myself.”

“You give your opinion very decidedly for so young a person.”
“With 5000 a year, it would not matter if he had warts and a leer.”
“You know perfectly well I do not believe marriage should be driven by a lot of money.”
“Only a man truly confident in himself would admit to that.”
“Can’t help but feel at any point someone’s going to produce a piglet and make us chase it.”
“You have insulted me in every possible, and can now have nothing to say.”
“Headstrong, foolish child!”
“If they are amiable, they are so easily led that they have no minds of their own whatsoever.”
“You’re free to go off and be jilted yourself.”
”Please understand, I cannot accept you.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, _, don’t look at me like that.”
“Not all of us can afford to be romantic.”
”I think that’s the most unforgiving speech you’ve ever made.”
“I must confess, the view from where I sit has been rather grey.”
“I’m well enough acquainted with you to know that I cannot alarm you even should I wish it.”
“I do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before.”
“What on earth have you done to poor _?”

“I have struggled in vain and can bear it no longer.”
“I love you… Most ardently.”
”I am very sorry to have caused you pain.”
“Is that your opinion of me?”
“Take care, that savors strongly of bitterness.”
“Can you die of happiness?”
“You may ask a question, I may choose not to answer it.”

“What are men compared to rocks and mountains?”
“Do you not think him handsome?”
“How can I ever make amends for such behavior?”

“You must know… surely you must know it was all for you.”
“One word from you will silence me forever.”
“You have bewitched me, body and soul.”
“Your hands are cold.”

the stigma of “high maintenance women being vain, and ‘men not liking them’” is so excruciatingly annoying. no you prickle, I have standards, I love myself enough to make myself look good. I literally don’t give a damn if a man thinks my lifestyle is unlovable. And I’m not gonna stop investing in my acrylic nails and butter soft ass, so you can walk your crusty pored self out of my glamorous life. thankyou