can i just say he's hot

I wanted to jot down a couple adorable things Bean Sprout has been doing lately because I know otherwise I’ll forget:

Loudly saying “HI GUY” whenever he walks up to me or M. Always just the one guy.

“jumping” which is just freaking adorable.

Will say his warm food is HOT while bouncing his hand above it.

Anything he doesn’t like (and sometimes things he does like) are “ewieeee.” Sometimes Holtzy is ewie, changing diapers is ewie. It’s always in this high-pitched voice.

If we try and explain things to him (like, we’ll eat in a minute or we’ve got to go to the car now) he’ll say “Ohhhhhh!” in this modulating high-pitched voice that I know he got from us.

I can’t believe he’s almost two. Where has my preemie baby gone?!

anonymous asked:

Re the lines about the doctor's attractiveness there def is an element of Moffat making fun of peter's shyness about it (I mean if there's ever a chance moff is poking fun at one of his actors, he definitely is), I think it's also a thumb in the nose of all the critics, both professional & fan, who assert Matt & David are the sexy ones, peter doesn't have that same pull, etc.

or having a go at the concept that Dr Who needs to be attractive, orrr just giving 12 a Six-ish sort of vanity and ego. it feels less weird post-Darillium, like it’s something i can picture River saying and the Dr latching on.

tho do actual critics spend time discussing the relative hotness of the Dr, i can’t really picture this being a thing that happens

anonymous asked:

*chanting ominously* Headcanons, headcanons

well i can’t argue with that

  • “team icy hot is in position” “lance can you please stop calling us-”
  • sometimes keith’ll walk into a room and pidge will look disappointed and that scares the shit out of him
    • did he do something wrong?? is she mad at him???
    • pidge, who just wants to get something off a tall shelf: “aw man keith probably can’t reach it either”
  • one time keith points out that coran has the exact same hairstyle as him and lance doesn’t talk to him for two days
  • someone: “everything’s gonna be fine” shiro: [mentally knocks on wood]
  • hunk: “i would say ‘i trust you as far as i can throw you’ but i can actually throw most people pretty far so that would invalidate my point but anyway i don’t trust you”
  • oh to be a fly on the wall when someone explains ice skating to allura
    • “yeah so we glide on blades on top of ice-” “and engage in combat??” “…n…no. it’s just. for fun”
    • yeah so no one is taking allura ice skating ever
  • [someone’s been poisoned] pidge, squinting at an altean package: “okay so i think this is the antidote!! that or more poison. the two words are really similar in altean for some reason”
No, Wait, You Got it All Wrong

You know what there’s not enough of? Canon compliant future fic where Stiles is a cop and he runs into Derek again. What’s that you say? There’s a ton of that?? Yes, true, but NOT ENOUGH.

“…. so then he says, ‘No, Officer, I swear to God this is the first time I’ve ever smoked up! I’ve never been in trouble with the law in my life! And I say, Billy, my man, you’ve been in trouble with me personally twice this month.” Stiles snorts at the memory. “Kid was so fucking high.”

Amanda must be halfway past tipsy, because she laughs uproariously into her beer at the mediocre punchline.

Stiles smiles. He’s satisfied with her reaction, with the warm murmur of the bar, with the buzz he’s got going… with just about everything, actually. After tonight, he’s looking at two full days off before he’s back on the beat, and the night’s still young. He leans back in his chair and takes a pull of his beer, savoring it.

Amanda glances towards the bar, probably considering a fourth round, and then visibly perks up as something near the front catches her eye.

“Oooh, Stiles,” she croons. “Look over at the door, like, just glance over.” She’s adjusted her gaze down at the table now, faking casual disinterest. Badly.

Stiles raises his eyebrows at her.

“This dude just walked in, he’s so your type,” she hisses. “C’mon, look! I’m telling you, six feet two inches of ‘yes, please, give it to me’ muscles, with some salt-and-pepper scruff icing. Unff.”

“Eh,” Stiles says, tipping his weight forward to hunch over the table. It’s not that he isn’t interested, exactly, but this is a cop bar and he doesn’t want to shit where he eats. Metaphorically.

“No, really,” Amanda insists. “He's… oh my God, he’s looking over here. He’s looking at you. Oh my God, Stiles, he’s coming over here!”

“No, he isn’t,” Stiles scoffs. He’s filled out a bit from high school and he’s finally competent at styling his hair, but he’s not that hot. Only Amanda’s sitting straight like a rod, eyes fixed on a point behind him that’s about where a six foot two man’s eyes would be.

“Stiles?”

He turns then, shooting to his feet before his brain’s quite caught up, because that voice is familiar like the back of his own hand.

Keep reading

Humans are Weird: Spices

Alien: Today in my “Human Studies” book, I’m reading about human foods.

Human: Ooh, cool.

Alien: But I’m not sure this is accurate. It says here that humans purposely ingest a plant high in a pain-causing chemical, capsaicin.

Human: Oh, peppers? Yeah. Spicy.

Alien: But why would you want to eat something that causes you pain?

Human: Some people like the burn. I think it causes the same sort of reaction as drinking alcohol…?

Alien: That activity doesn’t make sense to me either. Can we discuss it after?

Human: Sure.

Alien: So, these “peppers.” Do you enjoy eating them?

Human: Me? Well, not by themselves. But I do like somewhat spicy foods. My brother, though, he likes them much hotter. He’s eaten some really spicy peppers, even ate a ghost pepper by itself.

Alien: Ghost pepper.

Human: Yeah, it’s the spiciest natural pepper. His face got pretty red, and he got the hiccups.

Alien: That… doesn’t sound like a healthy reaction.

Human: It just means that it’s a really spicy pepper. I mean, if I ate one of those, it might kill me, but he was fine.

Alien. Why would it kill you?

Human: Too spicy. You have to have a tolerance for capsaicin or it can literally kill you. And the ghost pepper is so hot that to handle it, you gotta wear gloves.

Alien: Your planet has plants that can KILL people, and which you can’t handle directly, and your brother ATE ONE, by ITSELF??

Human: Yeah.

Alien: …

Human: He says that when he gets desensitized to ghost pepper, he wants a Carolina Reaper.

Alien: I’m almost afraid to ask.

Human: …

Alien: What’s a Carolina Reaper?

Human: A pepper scientifically engineered for spiciness. It’s currently the world’s hottest pepper.

Alien: *stares at human in disbelief*

Alien: *stares at human studies book*

Alien: *stares at human again*

Alien: *whispers to self* How… how are humans real?

a sterek fic inspired by this stupid thing because how could I not

It’s a common saying among Stiles’ friends that he doesn’t have a lot of dignity. To be perfectly honest, Stiles agrees with them (as much as he argues against the point whenever they bring it up).

But this is probably a new low.

Well, not new-new, because this is into the fourth week of the habit and if he was a better person, he’d have stopped by now. He’s not a better person in this instance, but he’s made peace with it.

‘It’ being watching his stubbled neighbour jog past his place every morning in sweatpants and obviously non-supportive underwear. There’s a lot of movement down there. A lot.

“I mean, with that much jiggle, he’s gotta know, right?” Stiles asks his window pane, behind which he’s fake writing on his laptop.

They’re not quite neighbours, there’s about half a block between them for which Stiles’ sanity is thankful. Otherwise who knows what ludicrous amateur spying would have occurred.

As it is, he is very thankful he accidentally set his alarm for five am two (it was four) mornings in a row, because now he knows that this is a morning ritual for his neighbour.

Today hot neighbour is wearing the cut off, grey sweats. They’re a personal favourite of Stiles’ (better than the dark blue ones, which make it harder to see) because it means not only can he get a clear view of his neighbour’s dick as it swings forward against the fabric, but also his sweaty, perfectly muscled calves.

Stiles sighs out and bangs his head once against the window pane, a small punishment that is also part of the routine.

What is not part of the routine, is hot neighbour looking into Stiles’ window, and seeing Stiles’ face smooshed against the glass, after which he trips, possibly in disgust, or just simple distraction.

Stiles’ first reaction is to panic. He pushes his chair back from the desk and slams his laptop closed.

His second reaction is that he should call someone to come help.

His third reaction is to realise that, hold on, he can go and help.

Stiles rushes out his front door and into the chilly morning air.

Keep reading

i’m cute but psycho, she says. she smiles at me.

in my backpack are sixteen emergency items for panic attacks, for shutdown mode, for in case i can’t stop urges i can’t control, in case i am in trouble. i have under my bed razors i can’t bring myself to throw out, even though i’ve been recovered for ages. i forget what i said to him after i say it. i don’t mean any of it, but maybe i did. am i steering this ship or am i just a passenger on it.

i put the hot in psychotic, she says. i hear her laughing.

i can’t feel my lips. back when the hallucinations were bad i didn’t tell anyone but him, because i knew what was happening. when i woke up in a hospital i tried to kill the doctor. my therapy group was full of wonderful people. the girl who was schizophrenic had a beautiful singing voice. i can still hear her crying sometimes.

normal people scare me, he says. i know it’s from tv.

we faltered on the edge of bad things. when he tried to burn his house down he didn’t know what he was doing. he’s being charged as an adult, they tell me. when he saw me looking he said it was his responsibility. the girl with split personalities is sweet. her trauma rendered her largely unable to speak. i sit outside with the other three who raid our own bodies and we pluck flowers and play a game: what if i’d been born normal. what if i had been given executive functions. what if i hadn’t been given depression in bucketfuls until it overcame my lungs. my parents don’t know how to look at me anymore and neither do my friends. they all tiptoe around me like i will break at any second.

try yoga. it’s just a phase. we all feel that way. you have so much to be thankful for. someone has it worse. mentally ill people are dangerous. therapists aren’t real doctors and by extension you have no real problems. go for a run. just choose happiness. you’re not really sick. you’re faking it.

i lace my shoes. it’s nice to have laces back. i will try to work out without letting myself get back into my disorder, but we all know how well that will go. i have been working out since i was six years old. yoga is on my schedule but it’s never active enough. there’s a good chance that out of the people in my group, one of them is being taken advantage of. we are so quick to give ourselves out for the safety of others. the boy who, like me, has burn scars on his skin - he tells me his girlfriend likes that he’s sick. it makes him sensitive. the girl who is schizophrenic gets picked up by her father. i know he hits her. she says she kind of deserves it.

sadness makes for good art, she says. i don’t look up.

when they ask me where i’ve been i say i’ve been out of town. i feel fine thanks for asking. i don’t know who i am when nobody’s looking. i don’t know if i’m even real anymore. i don’t know how to get close to people because they’ll end up finding out and hating me for it, or i’ll be a burden, or they won’t know how to handle it. my family never brings up the hospital again. sometimes i think i dreamed it. 

you won’t find love until you love yourself, he warns. it’s been a long day.

i’m so alone.

Writing is Hard, part 6: SEX

Summary: Dean and the reader have sex. Finally. FINALLY.

Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 4250ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. And the quotes are from my own Faking It series, in case anyone was curious. Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, tag list is closed!) XOXO


“You knew he didn’t quite understand why you found it so hot, but Dean had never seen himself leaning over the engine in a tight, sweaty t-shirt, hands and forearms covered in grease as he worked.”

Dean’s outside working on the Impala, and you’re reading fics about just that. Apparently, Dean working on the Impala is the hottest thing to ever grace the fandom (aside from his lips…and his green eyes…and his cocky swagger that is really just hiding adorable and unnecessary insecurity…and Jesus, these people are thorough), and you’re curious. In your actual experience with Dean, working on the Impala is just a nuisance. You have to wait longer to get on the road, Dean takes forever to scrub himself clean afterward, and for the next few hours, everything smells like metal and oil covered up by motel soap. Why do people find that so hot?

Keep reading

Maybe Next Time (m)

[10:36 PM] Jimin: babe, i have an emergency

[10:37 PM] You: what is it??

[10:37 PM] Jimin: um, i’m really hard right now. help me out

[10:38 PM] Jimin: baby, please. i want to fuck you so hard, hear you scream for me so fucking bad

[10:39 PM] Jimin: [image0541.png]

[10:39 PM] Jimin: please? :)

Synopsis: You’re finally seeing Jimin tomorrow after months of amorous skype sex, but the night before he asks for a small favor.

Originally posted by jiminarmy

Pairing: Jimin x Reader // gaming au/long distance relationship

Genre: Smut, Humor

Word Count: 4k

Includes: skype sex, dirty talk

Trilogy: Until Next Time ↣ Maybe Next Time ↣ At Last

A/N: the last part will probably be called “finally” from how i feel abt this trilogy coming to an end HAHA. sorry this fic is really short btw qq i’ll try to bump it up for the next ^^


[11:29 PM] Jimin: is requesting a video call…

[11:30 PM] You: missed a video call from Jimin.

Three months have passed since the accidental encounter with Park Jimin, your cyber fuck buddy. You would have never guessed that a random stranger from a dumb online game would grow the slightest ounce of significance in your life; then again, perhaps you just got lucky.

[11:30 PM] Jimin: wtf are you doing, don’t you want to see my face?

[11:32 PM] You: We have thirty minutes till midnight and i want to sleep

[11:32 PM] Jimin: well i just want to see you

[11:33 PM] You: ur literally seeing me tomorrow. leave me alone omfg

It isn’t a lie that you are going to hop on a short plane ride to see him in person after viewing his face through a small screen for months. Honestly, the few months of phone sex and dirty texts lost their excitement and thrill. So, like every time before, Jimin pressed on the fact that you should see him.

And after giving the same response of “no” for a while, you finally comply and the long awaited day is less than 24 hours away.

So why the fuck is he requesting to video call as if that day is never arriving?

[11:37 PM] Jimin: please, i’m kind of horny rn :)

Keep reading

there’s one ladrien trope/opinion that i see coming back and coming back that just… makes less and less sense the more i think about it

and it’s the ‘broken pedestal’ angst trope

because for one, this requires that both chat and marinette have their respective loves on ‘‘pedestals’‘ (that is to say, blind and/or unwilling to see their faults and weaknesses), and, while i can see it for marinette, i don’t see it for chat.

at all.

because chat ‘she can be so stubborn!’ ‘weren’t you a little harsh?’ ‘don’t you have an apology to make?’ noir absolutely sees ladybug’s faults. he calls her out on them on multiple occasions. he knows she’s hot-headed and stubborn and thoughtless, and his response? is to remind her to be kind, and to take responsibility for her actions, and to apologize.

you can’t do that if you don’t think someone doesn’t have faults and doesn’t make mistakes.

and he didn’t fall for ‘perfect, invincible, flawless ladybug’, you know. he fell for the terrified little girl who thought she wasn’t enough, who took her scraps of courage and her wit and her sense of responsibility, and made something amazing out of them.

he fell for the girl who went from ‘i’m ma— ma-ma-… *clunk* …majorly clumsy’ to coming up with a plan on the spot to defeat this thing that neither of them really knew how to deal with. he fell for the girl who had her face in her hands, convinced that she couldn’t until hawkmoth showed up and she needed to — who then blew everyone out of the water, this tiny little person taking on that thing that had just threatened them all. and winning.

i firmly, firmly believe that chat fell for her bravery first. i’m sure there were a whole cascade of reasons that came afterwards (because seriously, ladybug), but the world gave marinette a chance (and a reason) to shine, and she shone like a supernova.

tell me you wouldn’t be a little bit dazzled after something like that.

and chat is absolutely, visibly dazzled, but he doesn’t stay so dazzled that he can’t or won’t take her for what she is, and that? is not a pedestal.

and on marinette’s end, there is something of a pedestal.

it’s always ‘perfect, perfect adrien’ that she claims that she loves, and that he’s kind seems to be the most she actually knows about his personality for the majority of the show, with the gamer and kung food being the two obvious exceptions.

the gamer is actually pretty pertinent to this rant about why the ‘broken pedestal’ doesn’t make sense, because here, adrien does expose himself. he lets marinette in a little. he mentions his insecurities to her, and marinette isn’t disillusioned.

granted, that would be a pretty strange thing to get disillusioned over (unless she believed he was invincible somehow, which she doesn’t seem to), but she reacts with awkward warmth and support, not rejection.

and, you know, there are ways i could totally see adrien’s pedestal getting broken in a nasty way (because they’re both jealous people, and adrien, at the very least, has been known to spout white lies when they serve him, and those could both lead to very worrying fights), but in all the theories i’ve seen…

the most common is that ladybug/marinette will be disillusioned that adrien is basically chat.

…i mean.

it’s not like she felt a powerful connection with her partner even early on, and it would be ridiculous to think that she might enjoy his puns, or that she would ever value his input or listen to him (despite swallowing her pride and apologizing to people she hates at least twice (volpina and antibug) at his urging), or, you know, trust him implicitly (certainly not to the point of looking at the most damning of evidence and leaping to the conclusion that he’s innocent (copycat and the christmas special)), or ever consider him as a romantic interest in a million years — in fact, she really doesn’t even want him getting close!

(i just spent the last 2 hours looking for any gifset of ladybug checking chat out (which has happened at least twice, one in stormy weather and one in an episode that i can no longer remember the name of that takes place at the tv station) and came up blank, but rest assured that it has happened.)

like, that marinette/ladybug would be disappointed to find that adrien is chat (or particularly chat-like) just doesn’t have canon backing imo, because ladybug, no matter to what degree she’ll admit it. really likes chat.

like, canonically. now.

at finding her crush is a giant dork who really resembles one of her closest friends, would she be disbelieving? probably! more at ease/less fluster-y around adrien? i’d hope so. less likely to take him seriously in everything? quite possibly!

betrayed, uninterested, disillusioned, and/or apathetic?

…let’s try that one again.

tl;dr: angst is great, but there are loads of opportunities for it that don’t change the fundamental aspects of these relationships. chat. for better or worse. adores ladybug (really and truly with very few delusions), and while marinette might not know adrien all that well right now, there’s nothing in the show to suggest she would be dissatisfied with whatever she found in him.

Imagine Jeff being scared to take your virginity

Originally posted by knightlley

WARNINGS: Fluff, light smut

Jeff Atkins x reader

A/N (I can take any request from anything you guys want, message me, lmk!)


“Hey babe!”

Jeff kisses me as I opened the door for him to my house. My parents are out of town and I promised him l’ll help him study for his midterm. Not that my parents would care, they practically love him since we’ve been dating.

“Hey hot stuff, you can just through your stuff in my room while I get us something to eat”

As he jogs upstairs I quickly fix my hair and adjust my pajama shorts. I usually don’t care how I look around my boyfriend, but we’ve been dating for 5 months now and hasn’t even mentioned the thought of having sex with me. I pick up some chips and go upstairs where he is already laying out his textbooks.

“So we can start with World War 1 then go from there” he says as he’s looking at his book.

“Yeah sure, we can probably get through a few wars tonight.”

I jump on the bed and lay close to him. He looks up at me and smiles.

“You seem like your in a good mood, what’s up?”

“I can’t be happy to see my boyfriend?”

“You see me everyday baby”

“So you aren’t happy to see me” I fake pout.

“Shut up babe, you know I am.” He says as he pecks my lips.

“Yeah yeah” I smile. “let’s start with studying before we get tired”


“So that is what started the war?”

“Yes, but don’t forget how long the world ended”

“Yeah it lasted for 4 years.”

“Good, I’m actually a pretty good teacher”

“Your alright”

“Shut up” I laugh as I lightly punch him in the arm.

He laughs as he looks down at me. He glances down at my lips then quickly averts back to my eyes. I do the same, but make it known I’m looking at his beautiful lips. 

“Okay” he coughs. “at this rate we can g-”

I cut Jeff off by grabbing his face and smashing my lips on his. He seemed surprised at first then slowly closed his eyes. I slowly moved my hands around his neck as he put his on my leg and waist. As he deepened the kiss, he swung one of my legs on the other side of him so that I was now cradling him. As the kiss got more intense, I felt him moan against my lips. I needed air so I took that chance to take my shirt and bra off. His eyes were intensely locked on my chest and I couldn’t help but flush.

“You’re so beautiful y/n”

With that Jeff swung us over and pulled off his shirt. He went to my neck and chest and started planting soft kisses. As I slid my hands up and down his bare back, he started sucking harshly on my sweet spot. His hands started roaming my bare chest as he lightly squeezed. 

“Jeeeff” I moaned.

He looked down at me biting his lip as I started tugging his pants down. He threw them off and went back to kissing me. He kissed me so slow and passionately and I loved it. I started to kiss his neck and lightly grabbed him through his underwear feeling how extremely hard he was. he groaned at my touch and that made me crazy. I just wanted him already. I needed him.

“Jeff” I asked in between our kisses as he went back to my neck.

“Yes princess”

“Do you have a…you know….a-a” I slightly moaned.

“A…a condom?” 

“Yes” I said kind of embarrassed. 

He then stopped and slowly got off of me. Confused I sat up and pulled the sheets up to cover myself. 

“Did I say something wrong?” 

His back was faced towards me as he slouched over the edge of my bed.

“No, I’m sorry I just can’t do this right now” 

I’d be lying if I say that didn’t kind of hurt coming from him. I mean I thought it but I didn’t think he’d say it.

“You don’t want to have sex with me” my voice cracking as I put back on my shirt.

He snaps his head around and climbs back on the bed grabbing my hand.

“No no, god no, that’s not even close trust me.”

“Then why? I don’t understand” I look down.

He grabs my face and sighs.

“I’m scared okay”

“Scared?” I say kind of amused.

“Yes, don’t laugh, I’m the scared one. I’m scared to take something so precious from you. Scared to let you down after and I’m scared that you’ll regret it.”

He lets go of my face and focuses his gaze to the wall to hide his embarrassment. It’s now my turn to grab his face.

“Jeffrey, you don’t get it do you? you’re the precious one to me. I want you to be the one to take it because I love you”

He looks up at me and cheeses.

“I love you more princess.”

“So what does this mean now?”

“Well right now, nothing cause I have to go the bathroom to handle a little mess in my pants cause of you”

I try to hold in my laugh as he runs to the bathroom in my room 

“Sorry babe!”

Fandom vs Canon (Diabolik Lovers)

Fandom Shu: Lazy closet pervert who loves music and his s/o, likes bathing with his clothes on

Canon Shu: Lazy open pervert with PTSD who wrestled a fucking polar bear and can probably kill everyone in the room if he wanted to. Scared to death of loss. Extreme sadist, cuts you with a knife because your blood tastes better when you’re scared.


Fandom Reiji: BDSM mom friend, likes collecting plates

Canon Reiji: Pessimistic sadist with a sibling oriented inferiority complex. Had no problem murdering his own mother and even wanted to resurrect her so he could kill her in a more painful way each time. Burned down a village to kill his brother’s best friend. Could kill you in your sleep and wouldn’t blink twice.


Fandom Ayato: Lovable and confident dork who likes memes, boobs and takoyaki.

Canon Ayato: Do-S with an extreme superiority and inferiority complex. Abused and pressured to beat Shu as the heir to the vampire throne. Thrown into a lake to drown by his mother, ended up murdering her out of hatred and smiled the entire time. Sleeps in a fucking iron maiden. Will probably snap your neck if you don’t call him Ore-sama.


Fandom Kanato: Smol screaming child, bipolar, will like you if you make him deserts

Canon Kanato: Neglected sadist, quite possibly with Aspergers, with severe distrust towards other people, bordering on paranoia. Has sex with you more than any guy in the game, eats the ashes of his dead mother when he gets panic attacks. Might stab you in the throat with a fork if he doesn’t like your desert.


Fandom Laito: Macaroon fedora pervert, constant boner, “Bitch-chan~”

Canon Laito: Confuses love with lust due to being sexually abused by his own mother, was thrown in a dungeon by his father when he found out. He killed her so she could “be with him in eternity.” Manipulative and incredibly clever, voyeuristic with a degrading kink. His personality can turn dark in less than a second. Will use your fears to break you.


Fandom Subaru: Angry emo trash but is actually a cinnamon roll. Likes Blink 182, MCR, and punching wall-chan

Canon Subaru: Extreme sadist who ended up being an incest child because his dad used him as his mom as an experiment. Was called a filthy abomination by his mother who he loved more than anyone, now has a distrust towards women and constant suicidal thoughts.


Fandom Ruki: Hot mysterious book worm who’s into BDSM. Secretly cares about you and loves you.

Canon Ruki: Hot mysterious book worm who has been abusing people since he was seven years old. Was abandoned by his mother and his father killed himself, forcing him to live in the street. Warped perception of companionship, fear of abandonment, treats you like livestock because he was branded like cattle.

Fandom Kou: Prancy dancy idol-chan, sweet but manipulative, listens to BTS


Canon Kou: Abandoned at birth, turned into a sadist due to the amount of abuse he endured as a child. Ripped out his own eye to escape border line slavery and tried to commit suicide multiple times. Manipulative, will always expect something in exchange from you, capable of a 180 personality flip and won’t hesitate to kill when he’s angry.


Fandom Yuma: Giant gardening teddy bear, sugar-chan~ rebellious in a hot way

Canon Yuma: Can and will snap you in half. Beaten by his parents for not praying to God. Watched his parents burn alive and joined a gang, living on the streets. Sold himself as a slave to just to make enough money to survive. Sadistic, perverted, hot headed and can go on a total rampage. Kills you or someone else in almost all of his dark ends.


Fandom Azusa: Sweet masochist cinnamon bun who collects knives, doesn’t say much

Canon Azusa: Extreme masochist and sadist who enjoys self harm and harming others. Cuts you because he “wants you to feel good.” Enjoyed getting beaten as a child. Pain keeps him alive and gives him purpose, borderline suicidal.

(I might do more of these for other fandoms as well~)

Dean’s Plaid

Summary: You and Dean do NOT get along. Until the night that you do.

Warning: smut, anger sex

Word Count: 3200

A/N: Hope y’all enjoy some Dean smut! XOXO

There are two things in the world you really hate: plaid and Dean Winchester.

There are plenty of things that you don’t like, that irritate and annoy you, that you’d rather not deal with. But those are the only two things you actively hate. A store with a window display of plaid clothing is enough to get your blood boiling these days. And Dean? Well, you make sure you never think of Dean. That just tailspins your world into a mess of violent anger for days before it wears off.

So the fact that you are currently wearing one of Dean Winchester’s plaid shirts, listening to him hum along with the radio as he drives you to his motel?

Yeah. You’re gonna need something to kill.

Or you could just kill Dean.

Keep reading

Heart on the Line (part 1)

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4

You and Bucky had your differences in college, but now you need a place to stay and he needs a roommate, and in order to make ends meet, you two start a phone sex line together.  

“For a Good Time, Call…” AU


author: sugardaddytonystark (formerly buckysbackpackbuckle)
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
word count: 1516
warnings: smutty smut smut and dirty talk (future chapters)

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The boy, he dies at the end.

He’s written the spoiler right on the first page, like a shit, and he’s ghastly. He really is. Only- of course he isn’t. Quite the opposite. She uses the book to hit him in the chest. He laughs.

You’re the worst gift giver in the world, she informs him. He waggles his eyebrows, and she’d kiss him if Sirius wasn’t here. You two should kiss, Sirius says through a mouthful of crisps, looking on with mild interest. James shoves him sideways and then does, in fact, kiss her. He tastes like tea and mint.

The boys wear party hats all round London. Remus has five coffees, Peter loses his scarf to the wind and Sirius throws away a twenty pound note because he thought it was a very poorly made napkin. It might just be the best birthday she’s ever had.

Naturally she can never tell James this because he’ll just be unbearably smug, as opposed to the bearable level of smug he is normally. He buys her an ice block and then precedes to rip into her for picking lemonade flavor, which he has been told by Remus is the ‘most basic’.

Pathetic Lily, truly embarrassing, he says, and she reaches up and snaps the string of his party hat. Being eighteen feels no different to being seventeen, still being told by a choking James that she’d just ‘broken his throat’, still laughing when Remus says that it’s probably a blessing, still liking them all an inordinate amount.

Afterwards they go home, the two of them, back to the tiny apartment where they eat and sleep and make breakfast. When they’d moved in she’d used James’ wand to flick all the dead moths off the windowsill and to get her back he froze hers in ice. Sometimes when she can’t sleep and her brain is a blank wall she’ll get up, walk around, breathe. She can look at any surface of their place and think here. I kissed you here. I loved you here.

She goes through the door and there is a cake on their bench. The top slants to the left, lopsided, and the icing has melted all down the sides. She freezes, staring. James bounds past her and tries to prop up a drooping candle. I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to ice it while it was still hot, he confesses, guiltily.

She keeps staring. You made me a cake. She says, fumbling around the words. I don’t know if you can still call it that, he says, distracted, trying to even out the slanting top by shifting the icing. She cannot believe him- waking up early just to make her a cake. Her heart is swollen. She could break a rib.

Happy birthday Li- he starts, but she has surged forward and is kissing him instead. His hands are sticky from icing, on her face and jaw and neck and he made her a cake. In this kitchen, in this apartment, in her space, he was here. There has never been a better boy than hers, and here. She loves him here.

been reading a lot of klance fics lately so i thought i’d share it w you guys!! here’s 14 of them and definitely my favorites. comes with the title (duh), description, a review by yours truly, and link to the fic. the writers of said fics also have some gorg other masterpieces so be sure to check those out!

1. ) Smile for the Stars by maIikcutie

description

Though he’s been dealt many bad cards, Lance isn’t sure he can handle this one: winding up stranded, a million lightyears away from home, with only Keith to keep him company.
The universe is cruel.

review

amazing a+++ fic but i strongly advise not to read this unless you are willing to live the rest of your life broken hearted and Sad. i promise ur heart will be wrecked but in the best way possible!!! a buncha artists on tumblr made art for this so be sure to check those out & also there’s a epilogue-ish thing for this that dulls the pain a lil less and its called The Stars Smile Back in case yall were interested

2. ) Dirty Laundry by Gibslythe

description:

“Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?”
Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right?
“Alright, it’s a deal.”
Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.

review:

if u love slow burn then BOY ur gonna love this !!!! mama lance is so warm i luv her !!! fake dating aka one of my fav tropes so 11/10 and i just rly love this ok im in tears

3. ) call me, beep me by safra

description:

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes couldvery easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck??
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!
where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

review:

i love through-chat fics therefore i am so in love with this!!!!!! your everyday "wrong number” trope but so so so much better!!! cute and happy

4. ) Seasons by fairietailed

description: 

“Do you think we’ll be together, still, by the time we make it home?”
Lance is quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he says, “That depends. Do you plan on going somewhere?”
Keith laughs, threading his fingers through Lance’s hair.
“No, I suppose I don’t.”

review:

their relationship is just SO PURE AND SOFT and so well written i’m in luuuv but the open ending will shatter and will most likely rip u apart

5. )  Don’t Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend

description:

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet idiot continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him…at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith.
aka the phone sex operator fic no one asked for

review:

this is soooooooooo cute and adorable and wow i luv ittttt!!! made me smile so hard it hurts

6. ) He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

description:

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.

review:

oh my god the buildup may be slow but i promise it’s worth it like everything just falls perfectly into place !!! and its so adorable and creative and just wow not ur usual klance fanfic and that just makes it 1000x better and also,,, dragons !!

7. ) Bonding Time by magisterpavus

description:

“Shiro, I fucked up,” Keith blurted, wringing his hands.
Shiro paused mid-punch, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? What happened?”
“I think,” Keith whispered, “I think I accidentally roofied Lance. With my dick.”

review:

galra keith will always and forever be my fav au so this is a definite fav for me !!! i love the other 3 sequels it comes w too!! and nsfw content too dont even lie ik u guys are thirsty for that

8 .) Just Static by Jessadilla

description:

–Static—-
-iro, Hunk, Kei—, nybody? I’m—-
-static–
–I’m sorry guys. This is all my–
–static–cc–
—I found my coordinates. They’re–
-stttcc-
-guys. I hear something—
–scccc-
-end transmission-
Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren’t getting through. How did it come to this?

review:

this fic got me sad and crying in the middle of the night )’: wont leave u too sad tho the ending is pretty nice

9. ) What a Healing Pod Can’t Repair by Remember_Me

description:

The compromised wormhole was ripping apart at the seams, sending everyone spiraling away in completely different directions. Lance could feel himself being pulled and bent in ways he was definitely not supposed to be.

Stitching the team back together after everyone is separated is difficult, and for one Paladin rescue wouldn’t be coming for a very long time.

review:

no words. literally no words. this was so painful and just wow the buildup will shatter u i swear )’: also poor bb lance i sob. comes with cool-looking art which makes it a whole lot better

10. ) Seen: 5:29 by SpeedOfSins

description:

AU where Keith is some important guy who has a business suit, and lance is a good housewife. (tha ts a lie, i honestly dont have a summary but this fic hurts, i have been told by at least 3 people)
Written in text format

review:

will wreck u, beware!! may be short but enough to bring u to tears honestly

11. ) On Thin Ice by Minadora

description:

Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity. This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.
Enjoy the ride because it’s only just started.

review:

the description says it all !!!!! a fic beloved by the vld fandom and gosh whats not to love honestly???? also the whole gang is so happy !!! (sidenote: this is unfinished and its killing me)

12. ) I bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

description:

“So like in 'Step Up’?” Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in 'Step Up’.” The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn’t believe in dance camps.
-
Lance McClain’s dancing career begins and ends with Keith.
Keith just wants to find out what Lance’s deal is.

review:

if u love step up ur gonna LOVE this !!!! i love it so so so so much can i just say and wow keith is so hot ffs

13. ) thunderstruck by xShieru

description:

Lance doesn’t pine for anyone ever, Keith’s never been to a dance, Hunk tries his best to be supportive, Shiro is very done, and Pidge steals a car.But hey, it could’ve been worse.

review:

space prom!!!!!!! and cute pining gays!! whats not to love about that?

14. ) In English, Please

description:

Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.

review:

two words - too. cute. i can’t even with this fic